Are/will you raise your children up Catholic

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I have been to a Catholic school, and most of the children there were forced to grow up Catholic, and as a result I saw many of them resent thier religion, one boy in particular had the most Catholic of parents, yet now resents the religion a lot because he was forced to believe in it.

However, I feel that the children who chose for themselves what to believe it, always come off better, the children I have seen who wern’t raised to be Cathlolic may turn out to be some of the most devout.

Whats your opinion?
 
My opinion is that children don’t get to make such choices. "As for me AND MY HOUSE we will serve the Lord."

It is also important to LIVE a Catholic life and not to give the appearance of one. Even those who look to be the most devout might have terrible home lives, and their children surely recognize this duplicity.

We must also remember to RAISE our children in the faith. Living it ourselves is not enough. While we are at the Altar Society meeting, our children are often times watching shows, reading magazines, and hanging out with friends who are teaching them something quite different. We cannot forget the overwhelming effect peer approval has on a teen’s life.

Lastly, we cannot expect them to have a firm foundation in the faith simply because they went through the motions or attended the youth group meetings. They need to be rooted in the scriptures and traditions of the church. Apologetics is important so that they understand WHY we believe.

After doing all this, when our children are grown, it becomes their responsibility to carry this on. Even those raised in the best of homes have free will. And our society has some slick packaging and tempting offers for our youth who are often times not in a position to see the long-term damage their decisions are making. At that point, it might be to our sorrow, but it is to their own detriment and not our own.
 
The assumption that is being made is that the parents of a child that is rebeling against the faith are good catholics. Sometimes our perception of people is not what the reality truly is when you truly find out what are the problems with the kids. In my experience with youth which is extensive I would assert that parents that are really Catholic have Catholic children. There is a difference between forcing your child to be Catholic and infusing in their lives a love for the faith. This is perhaps the big difference. Most parents that inforce being catholic will find that their children rebel against the faith. However, if one instills a sense of the faith and a love of the faith since birth then rebeling against the faith would be like cutting ones arm off. This is the responsibility of parents. It is actually objectivelly a sin to allow your children to “find their own path” because it is a denial of the parental responsibility concerning being the first preachers of the Gospel to their children. However, what this requires is that you speak about the faith in yoru family. You pray daily together as a family and you make the faith your priority over all other things including eachother in your family. We cannot do our children the disservice of not giving them this gift which is by all rights there finest gift from God.
 
The above poster has it nailed.

I’ve worked with several hundred teenagers shortly before their confirmations in doing confirmation retreats. The sullen ones universally are that way due to being forced to participate in what they can tell their parents obviously don’t believe in themselves.

Kids who had a healthy personal catholic faith at that time nearly always also had parents who lived a radically catholic way of life.

To my way of thinking, parents who take the philosphy of ‘let them develop their own religious convictions’ are no different than parents who see their kids playing on railroad tracks and decide ‘let them develop their own personal standards of safety.’
 
I wasn’t raised Catholic, but I am now one of the so-called “most devout”. My wife and I raise our son with substantial Catholic education and devotion.
Our non-Catholic relatives subscribe to the fallacy that they want their own children to “decide for themselves” what religion (if any) they will belong to when they get older - and so, these parents have determined not to take said children to any church, nor raise them with a formation in any religion whatsoever.

The absurdity of this position, which amounts to nothing more or less than a gross abdication of parental responsibilities, is clear. To illustrate it, our comeback to such folks is: “Oh, yes - we too want our son to decide for himself what kind of music he likes, so we make sure never to play any music in the home, nor do we take him to musical performances. Likewise, we want him to decide for himself when he grows up what kind of sports he likes - so we make sure never to play any with him, nor do we take him to any games!”

If these relatives really meant what they said, then they would be intensively educating their children in ALL religions, rather than ignoring religion altogether. If children are to “decide for themselves when they get older”, then they must earlier be trained with a rational, informed basis for making such decisions.
 
Raising kids up Catholic is fairly simple BUT keeping them practicing is the real tough part. After a certain age, they are pretty much on their own.

Most go through a period of open questioning and outright rebellion. The lucky ones return to the Church. What brings them back or keeps them away is what I want to learn about (or what can help prevent them from leaving in the first place).
 
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wcknight:
Raising kids up Catholic is fairly simple BUT keeping them practicing is the real tough part. After a certain age, they are pretty much on their own.

Most go through a period of open questioning and outright rebellion. The lucky ones return to the Church. What brings them back or keeps them away is what I want to learn about (or what can help prevent them from leaving in the first place).
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I think most of the people I knew felt restricted by the Churches teachings and guidelines, some people met girls they liked and wanted to do things the Church wouldn’t allow. I think the temptation to have a “good time” was higher on thier priorities then staying faithful to the Church.

It’s just a subject I am interested in, as Church numbers seem to be dwindling, and less and less children seem to be bought up Catholic.
 
A very good topic/question. I was baptized Catholic as a baby but wasn’t raised Catholic. I didn’t officially join the Church until last Easter (right before I turned 30 years old). I consider myself to be very devout. My mom and I have discussed this topic on many different occasions and I don’t really know if I would’ve ended up resenting it or not. The odds are in favor of me maybe resenting it though. I ended up resenting the Assembly of God church (the one I was raised in) because it was forced on me.

I have a very good friend who was raised in the Church, he was an altar boy, went to Catholic school, etc. He’s 51 years old and still goes to Mass every Sunday. Maybe it just depends on the person?

I haven’t any children but if I did I would definitely raise them in the Church and let them make their own decision once they reach the age of 15 or 16 years old. That’s usually the age that kids are when they start wanting to make their own decisions on important issues and wanting to spread their wings a bit.
 
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lostalot:
Whats your opinion?
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Yes, I raise my children Catholic. I also teach them to speak English.

Now, some people say I shouldn’t teach them to speak English–that I should let them decide for themselves what their language will be. However, I think it’s very important that they learn to speak my native language. I hope when they grow up, they will continue to speak to me in English, but at that point it will be their decision as to what language they speak.

And some people say I shouldn’t teach them my faith–that I should let them decide for themselves what religion they’ll be. I think that idea is as silly as it would be to not teach them my language. (We live in the US, in case you missed the parady.)

Every adult eventually decides for himself what religion he’ll be; and that applies to my children whether I teach them Catholicism or not. But having learned about the faith they’ll stand a much better chance of remaining in it, just as they also have a much better chance of continuing to speak English when they grow up.
 
I think the important thing that most parents would say in raising their children in the Catholic faith would be to insure that their children recieve the graces that the Sacraments give them.

But if those graces aren’t being nurtured by daily Catholic living, they could just sit there dormant. It’s important for me to live out my Faith and be an example to my children as Christ was to us, to “nurture” those graces, so-to-speak.

I was giddy with delight last night when my 5-year-old, after having seen me doing the Rosary night after night, wanted to say one himself. He even read my little Rosary pamphlet in order to know what exactly he must pray! He managed to get my 14-year-old involved in the prayer also. Who knows - maybe this can grow to become a family Rosary night one of these days… 🙂
 
We raised our kids Catholic, I’m very much a traditionalist. I never miss mass, follow the Church about to the letter, love what it does and what it stands for. My wife is non Catholic but went to mass with us when my kids were in grade school.

She stopped going when the kids got into high school, and fairly soon after that the kids drifted off (I don’t think she was the cause of my kids forming their own philosophy, as they would have questioned their beliefs regardless). Calling them to get up for mass became more of an ordeal. I didn’t want to force any of them, so I would wake them and if they wanted to go, they would make it out of the house otherwise they stayed home.

One of the 3 has stayed with the Church. But now that he is off to college, I think his mass attendance is way down as well (he gets up after noon, so it is unlikely he gets up early for mass. When he come home he stills attends with me, even though he has to get up by 11:30.

I’ve spoken with each of my kids about their beliefs. My oldest considers himself an atheist -socialist-Marxist. My daughter was an atheist, but has since reconsidered, believes there is a God, but does not consider herself Catholic or associated with any formal religion.

They all know my views on this. My opinions are very conservative by their standards, I consider myself a moderate. My wife and oldest son are ultra liberal, my daughter is somewhat liberal and my youngest is more moderate like myself.

My biggest hope is that maturity and age will temper their views. So far they only see how disruptive and unfair the far right is. They consider the right to be selfish and self serving and corrupt. They tend to ignore how destructive and dangerous the far left is.

I used to think liberals were well intentioned folks who just wanted to see wealth more equitable shared with the poor and disadvantaged. But after hearing about the radical left, socialist, Marxist agenda. I now know that their goals are far more sinister and very scary.

The Marxist philosophy calls for outright revolution and violent overthrow of property owners and established governments. They consider class warfare an inevitable result of labor’s attempt to obtain rights and power.

The fact that thousands (or even millions) of folks may have to be killed is considered a necessary evil in the process to free workers from the enslavement of capitalists.

When confronted with the failures of communism in Russia or Cuba or N Korea, they claim that those cases were not true socialist states, that each had become corrupted by some tyrant who prevented the people from truly taking over. The fact that this happened in nearly every instance, does not deter them.

I always thought McCarthyism was a radical overreaction and result of unwarranted paranoia to Communism. But after listening to my son’s Marxist socialist views and hearing about some of their anarchist sub-groups. I think McCarthy was partially right about the threat and maybe not so far off track as you would think. He certainly overdid it and hurt some innocent people, but true Marxists are a scary breed.

I’ve given each of my kids a Miraculous Medal and pray that Our Lady guides them back to the Church.
 
Tonks, I envy you. That is probably one of our/my biggest failures is that we did not pray together as a family. That may have helped tremendously if we had a lot more prayer times together.

When we got married, I was a lapsed Catholic and prayer was always a private thing that I did, not around dinner time or bedtime. IF that had been incorporated into our family early on, maybe my kids would not have strayed or at least less likely to stray.
 
There could be an arguement on both sides forever. My personal beleif is from birth every Catholic child should be taught his/her Religion. My children went to Mass from the day they were Baptized (average 3 weeks). Personally, I must have done something right because as adults (one married with children) they attend Mass on their own and follow the beliefs of The Catholic Church. But in my own family, I was raised also from the Cradle just like my children but one brother and his family are Mormons, one sister’s family have no Religion whatsoever even though her husband is also a cradle Catholic from a practicing family. My other brother is married to a very devout Lutheren Girl, he never stepped into a Church (Lutheran, Catholic or otherwise) since age 18 (except to Marry and Baptism of his children in Lutheran Church) The other 3 (myself included) are Catholics who follow their Faith, also a sister who passed on in 2004 also was a Devout Catholic.
 
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wcknight:
Tonks, I envy you. That is probably one of our/my biggest failures is that we did not pray together as a family. That may have helped tremendously if we had a lot more prayer times together.

When we got married, I was a lapsed Catholic and prayer was always a private thing that I did, not around dinner time or bedtime. IF that had been incorporated into our family early on, maybe my kids would not have strayed or at least less likely to stray.
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wcknight, you are not alone.

I’m a returning Catholic - before I came back last spring, I must’ve been gone from the Church for over a decade. During that time, my life was very self-centered in what I can get from myself (I was in the midst of a divorce), I hardly ever talked to our Lord or said any sort of prayer, just concentrating on how to survive as a single mom, along with maybe a little too much immoral behavior was all I focused on. I think this is one of the reasons why my eldest son has no faith right now (he’s 16).

Now that I’m back, it’s kinda interesting. I pray, do my daily scripture readings, attend Mass, go to Confession, do Eucharistic Adoration once a month or so…but I do so without much words or berating to my children. Sure, I encourage them to say their prayers at night, and say grace before our meals. This in turn has presented opportunities for my children to come to me and talk about our Catholic faith, and answer any questions I may be able to answer. I also find that their behavior and reverence during worship has become more focused for them.

I know that there is a chance in the future that they may not be able to sustain in their faith at times, but like I told them, “God is all about second-chances!”

For our children, lets both continue to pray for God’s mercy and graces. 👍
 
Yes we raise of our daughter in the Catholic faith. Forced makes it sound as if raising your child with your faith belief is some sort of punishment.

As our daughter gets older (she’s only 10 now) we spend more and more making sure she is well catechised and understands what the church teaches and why. We are very positive about our faith. She has many friends from devout families in our church.

She has a very positive image as God as a loving Father, not as an angry dictator waiting for you to fall so he can send you to hell. But she also knows God has commandments that we are required to do our best to follow and to seek forgiveness when we fall. She also knows that God gave authority to the Catholic church. She knows there are many Christians fatihs, and though all are Christian and have many good things only the Catholic church has the fullness of the faith.

My best friend was raised pentecostal. I went to their services as a teen. It was fire and brimstone, and God was waiting to send you to hell. They frightened the children with end-times stories so much so that it gave my friend nightmares. When she rebelled as a teen her mom took her to the pastors house to he could perform and exorcism on her since “she was obviously demon possessed.” Her faith was all about what you can’t do and nothing about the freedom you find in following Christ. That type of up bringing will breed rebellion for certain. She fell away from faith for more then 15 years and now belongs to a non-denominational church.

Even good Catholic (or othe christian) parents have children that fall away. It is heart breaking I’m sure. But leaving your child with no faith up bringing is like not requiring your child vaccinations, or doctor appointments until they decide if they want them. It’s actually worse because losing your soul is for eternity. Catholic parents are required to give the best possible religious upbringing they are capable of and be good examples to their children.
 
There’s something else I failed to mention. Raising children in the faith gives them the opportunity to turn to God when they need too. When my husband was sick and we had to take him to the hospital my 10 year old daughter went and prayed the rosary for him on her own. She was able to turn to Jesus (and His mother) to ask for help for her daddy. And that was a great comfort to her.
 
A personal note to parents and potential parents out there.

I myself was baptised catholic but was not allowed to continue on with the rest of the sacraments because my parents both fell away from the Church. Neither of my parents were particularly religious in the first place and their divorce gave them an even greater reason to leave themselves and their children out of the faith. I was only able to receive the sacraments the same year I entered the Seminary back in 2001. If it had not been the time that I spent with my grandparents I would have had no foundation in the faith of which I am now an ardent practitioner of to their delight and my parents dismay. The excuse of my parents was always the offer that I would be able to choose my own religion or no religion when I was an adult. Thanks be to God that the Lord gave me the particular grace necessary to return home. However, I can tell you that any parent that chooses to keep their child from the faith for sake of letting them make their own choice is doing the greatest harm they could ever do to their child. I am convinced that if I ad been raised in the faith then I would not have to deal today with particular habits of vice that I picked up along the way of a secular life. I would have known how to pray and I would have had Jesus in the sacraments in my life. However, my eyes were shielded from the light of Christ for most of my life and I feel that it is of great importance that I try to impart on people my experience of the lack of the faith as an example of what not to do with ones child.

My youngest brother who did not have the benefit of my grandparents to teach him at least the basics of the faith is a constant reminder to me of the serious problem that happens when parents practice this false form of openmindedness. I will never forget when I took my mom and siblings out to dinner and told them that I was going to enter the seminary to become a priest - God willing. I recall vivdly my brother turning to my mom and asking her: “Mom, what’s a priest?” That is when I realized the damage that was done by not raising them in the faith. Praise be to God that same brother is now asking me to help him receive the sacraments - no greater day of joy have I known then when he asked me how he could make the sacraments. But the point remains. These are questions that he should have never had to ask - faith is a gift and this gift is one that a person should not be forced to ask for nor deprived of especially in our times.

Granted I turned out “fine” but I an assure you that my parents did me the greates t disservice and injustice imaginable by keeping me away from Christ. No parent should seperate their child from God if they truly love their child.
 
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gardenswithkids:
Yes, I raise my children Catholic. I also teach them to speak English.

Now, some people say I shouldn’t teach them to speak English–that I should let them decide for themselves what their language will be. However, I think it’s very important that they learn to speak my native language. I hope when they grow up, they will continue to speak to me in English, but at that point it will be their decision as to what language they speak.

And some people say I shouldn’t teach them my faith–that I should let them decide for themselves what religion they’ll be. I think that idea is as silly as it would be to not teach them my language. (We live in the US, in case you missed the parady.)

QUOTE]

In which case you probably don’t want to know that my parents chose to bring me up speaking Dutch, in Holland and as an adult I DECIDED to give up my Dutch nationality and stop speaking Dutch…I’m British now and speak English (and German), although my parents never taught me that…

Otherwise, I do get your point, great analogy, but…it’s not always that clear cut.

Anna x
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lostalot:
I

However, I feel that the children who chose for themselves what to believe it, always come off better, the children I have seen who wern’t raised to be Cathlolic may turn out to be some of the most devout.

Whats your opinion?
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I can’t speak for your experience, but as a Catholic parent and grandparent with over 20 years in the field of religious education as a volunteer and paid DRE, and based on experience of families I have known in that time, children raised without a strong faith rarely if ever embrace and practice the Catholic faith as adults. It is so rare that one can almost consider it a miracle when it happens.

On the other hand, children raised in strong, devout Catholic families quite often rebel against their parents, about religion and many other aspects of life, but are far more likely to return to the Church later in life after a genuine conversion experience, and even when they don’t, still identify themselves as Catholic.

IN answer to the title question, yes I raise my children as Catholics because I believe all that the Catholic Church holds and teaches is the Truth and to do otherwise would be to live a lie, and to lie to my children. To possess the fullness of Truth, and yet to fail go give this immense gift to my children would be the worst kind of child abuse and neglect. It is my God-given duty to raise my children to seek, know and understand the Truth. My husband and I made a coventant to do so and a solemn vow when we married. To do otherwise is also a mortal sin against God’s commandments and the law of the Church.

suppose our town had 3 water sources from which people were free to obtain their water for household use: a polluted river full of industrial waste and bacteria, a well without any poisons but with no way to check its bacterial content, and the city water treatment facility with pure unadulerated water. What kind of parent would I be if I allowed my children–not old enough to know the difference-- to choose water from any source? What kind of parent would I be if I allowed water from the first two sources into my home?
 
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mosher:
No parent should seperate their child from God if they truly love their child.
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This is exactly the point. Why on earth would a parent not raise their child Catholic, just so the child could “choose?” Yes, once we become adults, we make choices about our religion or lack of one, but parents are the ones who will influence those future choices. My husband and I do not have children yet, but we’re hoping and if it’s God’s plan for us to have kids, they absolutely will be raised Catholic. I can’t imagine loving them so little that I wouldn’t share my faith with them.
 
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