Are wives responsible for all housework when working full-time?

[RuthTherese]

Thank you you guys for your replies it means a lot. Sorry I edited the post and wrote more before I saw them…

I know it’s so bad I am thinking divorce but I feel so unwell… I’m scare of getting locked up in a mental hospital like my mom has been over twenty times in her life. I know I may have some anxiety issues but I’m scared if they give me pills it’ll cause me to become bipolar to an extreme like her. I’m ok with being anxious or even depressed I’m not ok with losing complete control and becoming manic or dangerous. When I was a baby she was so sick she took me in the car and sped down the street the wrong way, that’s when they lost custody of me for a couple years. I have seen many times severe reactions to meds both my mom and dad have had and wound up in mental hospitals after. I have managed to stay off meds all my life and I’m so scared that if I am forced into treatment I’ll end up like that someday…

I want to leave before we have children and I am unable to care for them… I know right now I would never do anything like that but I struggle so much finishing simple tasks. If I go into treatment and get pills though I’m scared I’ll lose complete control and don’t know what I’ll do.

I don’t think I’m meant to be a wife and a mother. I love my husband I think I’ve helped him a lot. He used to be an alcholic before he met me, and we finally got his permanent residency… But I just want to leave before I lose myself and my mind completely…

I can’t offer anything on your marriage situation, but I can touch a little bit here as someone who is managing bipolar disorder without meds.

A psychiatrist can help you make a diagnosis, but what’s really important to remember is that you do not have to accept any prescription that you don’t want. The diagnosis can be nice to have just for peace of mind; I’m not comfortable with mood stabilizers, but I did accept a prescription for something to help me sleep and curb anxiety. You are in control at that office. Even if you leave the office with a prescription in your hand, nothing says you have to fill it.

If you cannot afford it for whatever reason, you can see a priest if that’s comfortable for you. Otherwise, most areas do have free resources for people who can’t afford formal treatment (and by that, I mean therapy, not medication). I personally like using Crisis Text Line. Text START to 741741 and it can be a massive help to talk to someone who doesn’t know about your situation; you do not have to be in crisis to use most hotlines and text lines, and they can be very helpful.

I understand how mental health issues can really harm a relationship. Talking with your husband is very important. Sorting out that budget to try to see where you can cut things, maybe be able to afford your own treatment. I’d honestly look at that angle before I’d consider throwing the towel in, but you know your situation better than I do. Praying for you, love. You can do this. :hug1:

 

[Katherine438]

Yes, definitely this course of action. See a priest. Focusing on household chores and addressing that issue alone is ignoring mental illness and a thought one cannot be open to children due to such.

You’re right, the mental aspect has to be addressed … good point … I hope that she can seek some help for that … praying for her … difficult situation this poor girl finds herself in.

 

[Legend]

I answered your 'hysterectomy’thread. But, after reading most of this, I’m convinced that your problem is beyond what a thread like this can do.

And, the way you titled this thread…it almost sounds lighthearted, a general discussion on husbands expecting too much housework from their wives.

But, further reading shows that this is not so. You need to speak to a doctor, a priest, and probably a mental health counselor. You brought up the idea of annulment right away. And you’re not just thinking that it would be unwise to have a child right now, you’re terrified of having any child, any time!

I will pray for you, but that’s all I can do, that will be any help. Please, get help.