Are you a recovering impulse buyer? (materialist)

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whatevergirl

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I wanted to share a great epiphany that I had, recently. I guess over the years, I have grown to be an impulsive spender. (nice way of saying, a materialist) I posted in the ‘what do you want for Christmas’ thread, and in looking back at it, I don’t want that Tiffany bracelet…not at all. I have been praying, see, for God to help me to stop wanting things I don’t really need. I always knew God is amazing, but He must be really good, to cause me to make such a shift.😊 I have enough jewelry…enough ‘stuff.’ That bracelet would really be adored for a few weeks, and then would hang out with the rest of my stuff, in the jewelry box, I’m afraid.

So…instead of random, meaningless stuff…

I would like to take the money, and apply it towards a beautiful family vacation…even if it’s just a short one. And I am really making a dent in my credit card debt.👍 My husband is pleasantly surprised, because he is not a materialist…and for those of you who are not interested in ‘stuff,’ you know how hard it is to be married to someone who likes to acquire it. :o My birthday is coming up, too…and I can’t think of anything more I’d rather spend money on that a family dinner at this beautiful restaurant we have been meaning to try. (The old me would have wanted that plus the jewelry)😊

I think I have turned a corner:yeah_me: …and wanted to start a thread…to see if there are any recovering impulse shoppers here. It felt so good to go to the mall this weekend, and not buy anything. I even went to Target, and only bought two Christmas decorations,because we as a family, are sticking to a budget. Budget isn’t an evil word, not sure why I fought my hubby all these years about being on a family budget. How stupid of me.😦

Maybe I’m getting sick or something. 😉 lol Kidding. It feels good to have control over myself, and our money. 👍

Looking forward to any of your stories you wish to share that sound similiar.
 
I was really bad about buying books up until the last couple of years. I would spend hundreds of dollars on books - some I never even read.😊 Now I just have a library card! I still buy the occasional book, but nothing like I used to. Before I buy anything, I have to ask myself, “Is this something I HAVE to own??” If not, I don’t buy it. Like you, we have made great strides in paying off debt. For the first time, we have 2 paid for vehicles! We don’t use credit cards anymore, and we don’t miss them at all. We do still have one small credit card debt, but that’s it other than our mortgage. I’ve come to realize that I enjoy giving my money to greater causes than myself!!😃
 
I used to shop without really thinking through my purchase.

Then I opened my own boutique, I HATE shopping now :confused: 🤷
 
msugeotech said:
I was really bad about buying books up until the last couple of years. I would spend hundreds of dollars on books - some I never even read.😊 Now I just have a library card! I still buy the occasional book, but nothing like I used to. Before I buy anything, I have to ask myself, “Is this something I HAVE to own??” If not, I don’t buy it. Like you, we have made great strides in paying off debt. For the first time, we have 2 paid for vehicles! We don’t use credit cards anymore, and we don’t miss them at all. We do still have one small credit card debt, but that’s it other than our mortgage. I’ve come to realize that I enjoy giving my money to greater causes than myself!!😃
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I agree!! 🙂
 
Growing up I didn’t have much at all so I kind of got use to it. I am not a spender at all. I’m quite the opposite really, I never buy stuff. For example, I haven’t had my hair cut in over a year. Yeah, it’s long. I just bought a new pair of pants at Target the other day. The last time I bought some were about 8 months ago.

I usually spend my money on my niece. They dont’ have a lot of money so I buy her clothes and toys and food when she needs it.
 
noclevername said:
Growing up I didn’t have much at all so I kind of got use to it. I am not a spender at all. I’m quite the opposite really, I never buy stuff. For example, I haven’t had my hair cut in over a year. Yeah, it’s long. I just bought a new pair of pants at Target the other day. The last time I bought some were about 8 months ago.

I usually spend my money on my niece. They dont’ have a lot of money so I buy her clothes and toys and food when she needs it.
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It’s interesting you mention how you grew up-I think it’s a HUGE factor in how people handle money as adults. I grew up with it around a lot, and so I always thought there was an endless supply of it…and oh there isn’t? Then I guess I’ll just have to charge things I want whenever I want them, then. :rolleyes: This was several years ago, I have since learned the credit card rule…but, I think that how one is raised can affect how they view and treat money. I admire your frugality. And that’s very sweet of you to spend on your niece.

PS: I love Target’s casual clothes-I bought a pair of pj pants recently…and a few tee shirts. I think of all I’m saving by shopping there for these items, instead of Macy’s or something.
 
This is awesome WEG. I am very proud of you!

I think our society and the media make it very hard to stand back and say “I don’t need that.” It is very difficult to separate ourselves from our “stuff” and stop equating our own worth with that of the “stuff” we own.

You are approaching that place called “authentic freedom.”
 
I would refer to my spending habits in the past as “compulsive” rather than “impulsive.” I am ashamed to admit how reckless I became with our financial resources. It rubbed off on my husband, and for a while, he was just about as bad as I was. We no longer have the income we once enjoyed (God is good,) and we have had to curtail our reckless ways with money. We are at peace, and we don’t charge. Honestly, I sometimes miss my prodigal spending–but if we ever completely recover financially, I pray I’ll have the strength to be a better steward than I once was.:o
 
Thank you 1ke!
I feel a bit more liberated than I did, when I started the whole ‘budget’ thing with my husband. It’s getting easier to say no to items I would otherwise have just ‘impulsively’ bought.

I think that in the process, one can learn about what matters most in life. I have always been a tither, and believe in charity…but I never thought about saving so much. I guess I thought someday, the future would just take care of itself. I’ll be forty in 2 weeks…literally, and perhaps, I’m taking an inventory of where I have been…where I am…and where I want to go. I also didn’t realize the bad spending habits I could be ‘teaching’ my kids.

I have a little ways to go. But, I no longer view wants as needs anymore. HOORAY. Praise be to God.

The book, The Overspent American was extremely helpful too. I think you’d like it–being analytical and all. 😉
 
udoc89 said:
I would refer to my spending habits in the past as “compulsive” rather than “impulsive.” I am ashamed to admit how reckless I became with our financial resources. It rubbed off on my husband, and for a while, he was just about as bad as I was. We no longer have the income we once enjoyed (God is good,) and we have had to curtail our reckless ways with money. We are at peace, and we don’t charge. Honestly, I sometimes miss my prodigal spending–but if we ever completely recover financially, I pray I’ll have the strength to be a better steward than I once was.:o
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Good for you that you are ‘recovering.’ I think it’s all about stewardship like you say here, and realizing that if we want to truly become holier, LIKE CHRIST…we can’t keep treating wants as ‘needs.’ I must have this or that…I must have that bracelet…even if I was just joking, I have now changed how I speak about jewelry. lol (jewelry has always been my achilles heel;) ) I no longer even joke around saying…‘I MUST HAVE THAT.’ I now say…‘I’d like to have that, but I don’t need it.’ Because if we say something enough, we start to believe it.

My husband said that he was proud of me, too 1ke. He is such a good saver…I feel badly that I might have sabotaged his most valiant efforts in the past.😦 I guess I have to shake off the past, but he is LOVING this new me. He said…*you will see sharon, you will feel empowered. *

Empowered. From SAVING money, and NOT spending it. Whatta concept!:o

My dh said…(and this was very helpful too)…that there is a huge difference between spending money and wasting it. I actually confessed this recently too…about treating money in a very haphazard way. I’m wondering if that confession helped me to come to terms with the sinfulness of my behavior. (being wasteful)
 
msugeotech said:
I was really bad about buying books up until the last couple of years. I would spend hundreds of dollars on books - some I never even read.😊 Now I just have a library card! I still buy the occasional book, but nothing like I used to. Before I buy anything, I have to ask myself, “Is this something I HAVE to own??” If not, I don’t buy it. Like you, we have made great strides in paying off debt. For the first time, we have 2 paid for vehicles! We don’t use credit cards anymore, and we don’t miss them at all. We do still have one small credit card debt, but that’s it other than our mortgage. I’ve come to realize that I enjoy giving my money to greater causes than myself!!😃
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At least with books though…you can pass them down…build a beautiful study/library in your home…etc…I too love book shopping. I think that going to the library is a lost art…if they started putting coffee shops into libraries, I bet they’d be busier. lol
I wonder why buying a book just feels more fun or something, than borrowing one. 🤷 Ever wondered that?

I might not be a good influence for you. I’ll stop talking lol
 
whatevergirl said:
At least with books though…you can pass them down…build a beautiful study/library in your home…etc…I too love book shopping. I think that going to the library is a lost art…if they started putting coffee shops into libraries, I bet they’d be busier. lol
I wonder why buying a book just feels more fun or something, than borrowing one. 🤷 Ever wondered that?
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It’s more fun to buy the book because you can dog-ear it, write notes in the margin, and you don’t have to worry about late fees.

Used bookstores. Loads of great stuff in those places and the prices don’t break the bank.
 
My problem has been food. Other things, I have a hard time buying let alone justifying (such as a new pair of jeans) that I just don’t buy them. Plus, I hate shopping over all. But food, especially in the last few years has been my problem.

I don’t fully understand why. Part of it is that I use food, at least shopping for food, to feel better and to cope with depression. I’m not necessarily eating it right away but rather just buying it. Like today, I bought brown sugar, raisins, chocolate chips and justified the expense in that I can make cookies with them. And that I needed to get out the apartment (I had to go to the library to return books and wanted to do something else besides that. This time of year is not helping any and it’s much worse this year.) Thing is, right now I just don’t have the funds to afford anything. I barely, and I mean barely, have anything in savings. I get paid Friday and do my best to only go grocery shopping every two weeks but that doesn’t happen and I end up making a trip or two during the week just before I get paid.

And it isn’t like I don’t try to save. It’s just that I’m not working as much as I should (managers won’t work me) and what little work I do get is never enough. Plus, it’s part time so that’s not helping either. I am now trying to find a full time job (I have only until the end of the month otherwise I’ll end up homeless again. (My parents want to cut off rent support starting in January. I just think that they should quit supporting my sisters who have full time jobs and either own their own home or still live my parents).

My mother was a major spender (never worked a day in her life, really, especially after she had kids) and my dad didn’t like spending money except on his computers. My dad enables my mother’s spending. And I picked up their attitudes. When I went off to university for my first degree, I wanted and was expected to be financially independent. Didn’t happen. And in 2005, I ended up homeless for six months. I lived in a hotel during part of that time (I was living in my car the rest of the time) and racked up a lot of credit card debt because of it. I still feel so guilty, so stupid, so upset over the whole thing and my parents love to bring it up every time we talk on the phone (which isn’t all that often usually once every 3-4 months).

In many ways I am better than I used to be. I only use my credit card for gas, car insurance, and the regular oil change. I determine if something is something I need or want. But my parents and my situation still remind me that I have failed so miserably financially. That after being married (according to my parents the only good thing I could possibly do is get married since I am not pretty, smart, or athletic), financial independence is the only other measure of success (not just to my parents but to everyone I have talked to).

Sorry, this just upsets me because it’s just a remind of how I am a failure and will always be so.
 
whatevergirl said:
I think that in the process, one can learn about what matters most in life. I have always been a tither, and believe in charity…but I never thought about saving so much. I guess I thought someday, the future would just take care of itself. I’ll be forty in 2 weeks…literally, and perhaps, I’m taking an inventory of where I have been…where I am…and where I want to go. I also didn’t realize the bad spending habits I could be ‘teaching’ my kids.
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I’m here, too!! DH and I have accumulated quite a bit of credit card debt in the past 3 years- some of it was from “emergencies” that seemed to pile up, some of it was our own stupid spending habits. Now we’re really trying to step up and get it eliminated. There are things we need to be investing in- like new cars, finishing our house, saving for the kid’s future educations, but instead we’ll spend the (at least) next 2 years trying to recover from the past 3 years. How stupid is that? It makes me what to kick myself to think how much money we’re losing in all this.

Something we are both guilty of is the “it’s only $10” mentality. Let me tell you, those $10, $15, $20 purchases add up quickly.

We now have a very tight budget. Very tight. We got rid of our satellite TV. If we could get rid of our cell phones, we would (we have another 18 months left on the contract, then they’re gone). We have had to switch to the mentality that we can only afford what we need to survive, basically (but we’re keeping the internet for now- it’s cheap dial-up anyway). We’re on a limited grocery bill, so we have to make every dollar stretch as far as possible. I already stay home and make all our meals from scratch. We’re eliminating eating meat at least 2 nights a week. We’ll be eating a lot of soup, too. Maybe I will finally lose that 40 lbs!

It’s always hardest to be budgeting this time of year, especially when you have young children. I want to get them things for Christmas that we can’t afford. We have gotten them more than enough gifts, though. We’re going to my parents house for Christmas and my siblings and siblings-in-law will be there. I want to get everyone a nice gift. I am still trying to figure out how to get the last two in the budget.

We’ll be okay. We just have to accept the consequences of our actions. That part about assessing what you’re teaching your children stuck with me. That has been on my mind a lot lately.

God bless, WG!
 
I’ve never had much money, so I never was a compulsive buyer. I do buy a lot of books though, but I read at least 200 books a year, so that’s all right.
 
noclevername said:
Growing up I didn’t have much at all so I kind of got use to it. I am not a spender at all. I’m quite the opposite really, I never buy stuff. For example, I haven’t had my hair cut in over a year. Yeah, it’s long. I just bought a new pair of pants at Target the other day. The last time I bought some were about 8 months ago.

I usually spend my money on my niece. They dont’ have a lot of money so I buy her clothes and toys and food when she needs it.
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I came from a poor family too, our yearly income didn’t quite reach $15,000 per year, but we made it. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn to save money. I graduated with a degree in civil engineering, and when I got my first job, I thought I was rich!😃 Boy, was I wrong. It’s taken me a long time to learn from my mistakes, but I have, and now we’re in a position where we can really prosper, build wealth, and help others - which is what I believe we are called to do. I subscribe to the Dave Ramsey philosophy - get out of debt, build wealth, and give it away.

Whatevergirl - I do want to pass down books, and since I became Catholic a couple of years ago, I’ve started collecting books that will mean something instead of shelf after shelf of fictional junk.👍
 
kristacecilia said:
I’m here, too!! DH and I have accumulated quite a bit of credit card debt in the past 3 years- some of it was from “emergencies” that seemed to pile up, some of it was our own stupid spending habits. Now we’re really trying to step up and get it eliminated. There are things we need to be investing in- like new cars, finishing our house, saving for the kid’s future educations, but instead we’ll spend the (at least) next 2 years trying to recover from the past 3 years. How stupid is that? It makes me what to kick myself to think how much money we’re losing in all this.

Something we are both guilty of is the “it’s only $10” mentality. Let me tell you, those $10, $15, $20 purchases add up quickly.

We now have a very tight budget. Very tight. We got rid of our satellite TV. If we could get rid of our cell phones, we would (we have another 18 months left on the contract, then they’re gone). We have had to switch to the mentality that we can only afford what we need to survive, basically (but we’re keeping the internet for now- it’s cheap dial-up anyway). We’re on a limited grocery bill, so we have to make every dollar stretch as far as possible. I already stay home and make all our meals from scratch. We’re eliminating eating meat at least 2 nights a week. We’ll be eating a lot of soup, too. Maybe I will finally lose that 40 lbs!

It’s always hardest to be budgeting this time of year, especially when you have young children. I want to get them things for Christmas that we can’t afford. We have gotten them more than enough gifts, though. We’re going to my parents house for Christmas and my siblings and siblings-in-law will be there. I want to get everyone a nice gift. I am still trying to figure out how to get the last two in the budget.

We’ll be okay. We just have to accept the consequences of our actions. That part about assessing what you’re teaching your children stuck with me. That has been on my mind a lot lately.

God bless, WG!
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hi krista–thanks for stopping in.
I hear you–I would love to get rid of our cells…but, I like having something for if I were to break down or something on the highway. I travel a bit further to and from work now, and use highways…so, it is a safety thing for us. But we have tightened up. I just hate to think about all the money we wasted. Like we have some nice things…and don’t use our credit cards like we used to in the past…but, still, the guilt of it all is catching up to me now.😦 Hey–at least we turned a corner, right?🙂
 
msugeotech said:
I came from a poor family too, our yearly income didn’t quite reach $15,000 per year, but we made it. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn to save money. I graduated with a degree in civil engineering, and when I got my first job, I thought I was rich!😃 Boy, was I wrong. It’s taken me a long time to learn from my mistakes, but I have, and now we’re in a position where we can really prosper, build wealth, and help others - which is what I believe we are called to do. I subscribe to the Dave Ramsey philosophy - get out of debt, build wealth, and give it away.

Whatevergirl - I do want to pass down books, and since I became Catholic a couple of years ago, I’ve started collecting books that will mean something instead of shelf after shelf of fictional junk.👍
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That really is a good idea…passing down books. When we moved last year to Florida, before we left…I ‘donated’ all our books (probably 100 of them?) to our local library. And these were brand spanking new when I bought them…now the library will have a larger Catholic section because of that donation. 😃 Do you ever keep books though, and reread them? I do. Sometimes, I forget the endings to some. I am typically a non fiction reader…I like to learn from the books I’m reading…I don’t view books as entertainment really. 🤷
 
whatevergirl said:
hi krista–thanks for stopping in.
I hear you–I would love to get rid of our cells…but, I like having something for if I were to break down or something on the highway. I travel a bit further to and from work now, and use highways…so, it is a safety thing for us. But we have tightened up. I just hate to think about all the money we wasted. Like we have some nice things…and don’t use our credit cards like we used to in the past…but, still, the guilt of it all is catching up to me now.😦 Hey–at least we turned a corner, right?🙂
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Yeah, we are still going to have cells, just switch providers to a new one that just started- no contracts, pay as you go sort of provider. The one we have is a major provider, the service stinks, and we’re paying $60 a month for basically nothing- just 2 phone numbers. No call display, no call waiting, no text, no local minutes or long distance included- that’s all extra. All we can do is call each other and half the time we can’t get through or our calls get dropped. Sorry, but $60 a month isn’t worth stinky service and no extras. Just wish I had been more clear-headed about it when I got it.

We do want to have cells because we live out in the middle of no where and it’s more than 20 minutes to get to any store. I drive a very old car and so does DH. We need to have the phones in case something should happen. I can’t get out and walk a mile to the nearest phone with three babies if my car breaks down…
 
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