Of course I’m afraid of dying. The unknown is always difficult to face. But I also know that “be not afraid” is repeated in scripture something like 366 times…
I agree with what contemplative said about how dying is sort of this lost process that many of us don’t ever get to witness until our peers are suddenly ‘at the age.’
Between my ages of 7-10, we lost all of my grandparents and literally all of their many siblings, except for two of them, as well as the remaining great-grandparents of our family. It was like one funeral after another. I’m still surprised by how vivid my memories are of that entire time period, the grief, the disbelief, feeling like our family was coming undone, being shocked by the depth of my parents’ sadness, holding various weathered and wrinkled hands…listening to them tell me to be a good girl and that they would see me again someday.
Every year, during the week before All Souls’ Day, my dad goes to a Catholic cemetary each night and prays the devotion for a soul of one of our relatives to be released from Purgatory. He’s been doing this since I was seven, and I remember sitting in the car with him as a little girl, listening to him pray and being slightly awed by the fact that we here on earth could directly influence souls of our beloved departed… it seemed so fascinating to me, yet a little scary. I remember telling Dad I hoped I would never have to be without him and sit praying in a cemetary, hoping his soul was in heaven. He gave me a pat and told me it wouldn’t seem so scary one day.
Well it is!!!
My husband and I actually talk about death quite frequently, though we’re only 26. We talk about the devotions we would have for the other’s soul if or when one of us passes on without the other. We talk about waiting and hoping for each other in heaven and spending our heaven praying for the one left on earth. We talk about the practical necessities of being prepared if one of us should pass, though we pray against an early death and instead ask God to provide us with a long and happy marriage of many years.
My husband has always been very calm about the subject of death, though it is not so easy for me, and we regularly pray for our mutual salvation, asking God to let us spend eternity together with Him and our babies.
It scares me to think about the moment of facing God, seeing Jesus and Mary, meeting my guardian angel who will whisk me off to meet the Creator. I have so much more work to do on my soul before that happens and I pray that God gives me that time.
I also am somewhat terrified of purgatory. I have yet to make it through St. Faustina’s Diary because the apparitions she receives from those in purgatory are horrifying! The only thing that comforts me is knowing certain saints have written that the happiest day on earth is nothing to the joy we feel in purgatory, knowing we’ll be united with God at SOME point, even if not until the end of time.
I suppose that while this is a hard topic for many, it’s GOOD to regularly think of death and be ready for it. So many of you mention staring death in the face–I shudder at that. I want to be safe and live more!
There was one specific time when I almost died and I remember my husband commenting, “He really does come like a thief in the night to steal you away from harm.”