Are Your Pets Insane?

[deb1]

I have three dogs. A nine year old beagle, a four year old cocker spaniel and a ten month old shepherd mix. They all have mental problems.

My beagle likes to lick my husband’s side of the bed until it is wet. Yuck. He does this to anything that has my hubby’s scent on it. He also has taught us all tricks. He has a vocabulary of words such as play, food, water, outside, walk,ball etc. He will sit at my feet and whine until I go through his list of words, when I hit the correct words, he jumps up and down with excitement.

My puppy has a neurotic need to open doors that are shut. If you don’t click the door shut, she will come and open it. Plus she likes to stare at people when they sleep. Sometimes I wake up because I feel like I am being stared at. Of course when I roll over it is her, standing beside the bed, looking down at me. As soon as I wake up, she leaves so that she can stare at my kids sleeping.

She also has a weird desire to carry things from one room and leave them in the other. Anything, including flashlights get displaced in the house this way. She doesn’t chew anything but toilet paper-I have no idea why- but she does like to move things around including stuffed animals.

So, do any of you have insane pets? What do they do?

 

[catholic79]

My Cat should meet your dogs. He is soooo crazy. I have a basket on the floor of the bedroom, which scares him and he attacks it every time he sees it like I just put it there. He’s done this for years! He also finds ways to hide under blankets and he loves to sleep under the tree. He will kick all the presents out of the way to make himself a nice little bed.

 

[deb1]

My Cat should meet your dogs. He is soooo crazy. I have a basket on the floor of the bedroom, which scares him and he attacks it every time he sees it like I just put it there. He’s done this for years! He also finds ways to hide under blankets and he loves to sleep under the tree. He will kick all the presents out of the way to make himself a nice little bed.

When my cat was alive, she and my beagle knocked over our Christmas tree one year. They were playing and she insisted on getting under the tree. Whoops!

 

[mschrank]

LOL, staring dog- now that’s funny, not to mention creepy! It’s probably pondering whether its time to stage a bloody uprising and take control of the house, ala Animal Farm.

“I could take her some day but I could definately eat these kids!”

 

[Truly_Beloved]

My husband and I don’t have any animals yet, but before I married, I lived with my folks, and we have had some crazy dogs!

Keeshond #1 likes to lick/softly chew on Keesie #3’s ears, and she lets him. Her ears are always matted and slimy, but she has the cleanest internal ears of all of them. When he can’t find her, he mouths his wrist (for lack of a better word), until it’s completely soaked.

Keeshond #2 was abused when we adopted him, but has blossomed beautifully. He has the strongest “maternal” instincts I’ve ever seen in a dog, even when compared to the most loving, caring momma dog. My male dogs have always been affectionate, but this boy is beyond affectionate, he’s just such a mom. He even worries like a mom, and goes from room to room, to make sure everyone is okay.

Keesie #3 insists on sleeping above my parents’ pillows, between their heads and the brick wall. My dad thinks it’s because she finds immense joy in jumping on his head in the morning as she flies out of bed.

All four of the Keesies have crazy spurts, where for no reason, they just start spinning in circles and jumping around like basket cases. Despite being amply fed, they always act like they haven’t seen food in eons, at every single meal.

 

[deb1]

LOL, staring dog- now that’s funny, not to mention creepy! It’s probably pondering whether its time to stage a bloody uprising and take control of the house, ala Animal Farm.

“I could take her some day but I could definately eat these kids!”

Kiba is pretty gentle, so no fear about her eating us one day, but I would love to know what is running through her head.

 

[beckers]

Mine are cats so of course they are insane.

They like to attack the carpet and then look at you like “what there was a bug”…yea right nothing there. Just them being stupid.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

**Hmmmm, our cat goes through stages that we call “her tail is her enemy”, lol. Watching her you’d really think that she believes her tail is an alien invader determined to eat her so she fights back with all she’s got

Our dog? completely insane. He does a lot of mental stuff but the one that is the worst (i.e grossest) is that he used to “hump” his bag of food. Now that we no longer use bagged food he humps hubby’s coat that hangs in the kitchen near where he eats or, occasionally, the bag of dirty cloth diapers… yup, told you it was gross, lol.

Oh, and our cat does what we call “head rolls”. Hard to explain but she looks insane when she does them, lol.

Malia
**

 

[bunnynessuk]

My h2b and I have two beautiful pugs (they live with him but really they are mine!!) but they are crazy as! Bandit is a very intelligent pupster he knows how to get what he wants if he is hungry he puts his head on my hand and bats me with his paw - if when i stop stroking him he climbs onto my chest and paws me on the face until I start up again and as for bridget well she isnt the smartest dog in the world but for cheezy poofs she goes crazy!!!

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Mr Bandit ( and my h2b)

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Baby bridget!

 

[bluerose]

I have a history of them, starting with Exhibit #1–my parents’ Chihuahua, Pokey (short for “Poquito”, meaning, “not much”!) I think his mental health suffered from my mother crocheting him seasonal sweaters–green for St. Patrick’s Day, red, white and blue for July 4th (he was ALWAYS cold, even in 110 degree heat!), orange and black for Halloween, orange and yellow for Thanksgiving, and of course, red and green for Christmas, complete with jingle bells. Anyway, he didn’t know he was a dog. This, I think, is why he had such issues with his tail. He’d chase it furiously which caused us to wonder just WHAT would happen if he ever caught it. Well, guess what? One day he did. And he stood there with his needle-sharp teeth clamped firmly halfway down his tail, half-growling and half-whining, wondering why it hurt so much!

Exhibit #2–Morris, an orange tabby who resembled–guess who?–Morris the Cat from the 9 Lives commercials. His misadventures are too numerous to relate, but the one that best depicts his insanity was the time he just HAD to invade the bird’s nest in the tree across the street from our house. It was inhabited by one of those brownish-black birds (we call 'em “grackles” around here) that had built a nest a good twenty feet up into the tree. Several times I caught Morris sauntering over to check things out, but usually a sharp word from me produced a frustrated glare and then a sulky return to the window to await a better opportunity. Well, one day, I heard a tremendous commotion from across the street–screeching, screaming, caterwauling. I ran out front and saw the tree shaking, leaves flying everywhere. Suddenly, an orange blur zoomed down the tree trunk and up the street, with about three or four grackles in hot pursuit, screeching for blood! I screamed for Morris and watched the blur zig-zag back and forth down the street, trying to evade the birds (thank God no cars were coming!), then I grabbed a broom and prepared to fight as Morris charged past me into the house and the birds gave up the chase. I ran in and found Morris collapsed on the kitchen floor with two badly tattered ears and several bald spots on his head and back where the birds had plucked his fur! He sulked for several days after that and looked at me as if it were MY fault the birds got him!

Exhibit #3–Edgar. Edgar is my Weimaraner. He is fat and lazy (okay, so the poor dog has a thyroid problem, but still…) and has a torn ligament from falling off a futon onto a slippery wood floor. Anyway, Ed has perfected the “martyrdom” routine. Tell him to get off the couch and he sighs and drags his weary body into a heap on the floor, groaning with the weight of the world on his soul (somebody get me a violin!) But don’t accuse him of being stupid. He has US trained very well. If he needs to go outside during the night (my husband and I go to bed early, our son usually stays up later, watching NFL network), instead of going and getting the person who is still awake, he will go to my husband’s side of the bed and stare. If the stare doesn’t work, he shakes, flapping his huge ears like he is Dumbo about to take off. That wakes up my husband who yells down to our son, “Ed needs to go out!” The minute Ed hears my husband call our son’s name, he happily lopes to the door, knowing our son will be there to open it by the time he gets there. As far as Edgar is concerned, THAT is how the door gets opened-Ed wakes Dad, Dad calls kid, kid opens door for Ed. It works!

I realize these stories offer far more insight into MY mental health than my pets, but I defy anyone to call ME crazy!

 

[rpp]

I have a cat that is a dog.

That means…

He plays fetch. He comes when he is called. He is clumsy. He cannot hunt. He turns around three times before lying down. He follows me from room to room demanding attention. He is not graceful. He trips over things. He likes to chew things. He does not scratch the sofa. He cannot reliably land on his feet when he jumps. (I have had him evaluated by a vet, no medical problems.)

When he wants to play, he will bring me the toy of choice. He brings his toys to his sleeping place (my bed). I often wake up in the morning covered in cat toys with a him sitting on my chest staring at me. (Food dish is full!)

Loud noises do startle him and he once got stuck high on a living-room curtain when the doorbell rang. He needed help down.

I should add he is afraid of strangers and has a very short memory.

Thankfully, at least he uses the cat pan!

 

[puzzleannie]

we also had a cat who thought he was a dog. Roger chased cars. One day he caught a station wagon, landed on the hood, flew off, and----no more Roger.

 

[Ravyn_Guiliani]

go to www.meankitty.com and see my three submissions to the gallery (plus one who made it to one of the other’s pages) Magick, Mystick (and Merlin!) and Medea. Medea made it to the 2008 mean kitty calendar magnet!

 

[LRThunder]

I used to have an orange tabby named Bart who would like to lick my face.

 

[rpp]

Oh, I just remembered another cat I owned several years ago. This cat like to chase ceiling fans. Until, that is, she got so dizzy she couldn’t walk. I have to tell you that there is nothing like seeing a cat stagger and do the dizzy-dance. A few minutes later, she would resume pursuing the fan.

 

[mercygate]

My dog is only routinely crazy but he is colossally STUPID for a dog. He’s so stupid that when he sees his toy under the door between the kitchen and dining room, he will whine for it and stick his paw under the door instead of walking around through the front hall and living room to get to it.

 

[crohnie4life]

When I was in high school, I had a Lhasa Apso that would sleep until the Christmas tree next to the manger. She loved the quilted tree skirt my mom made.

Molly would sit in front of the kitchen sink if she needed water, bark at my bed every night at 10 pm like clockwork to ask if she could jump up. If I said yes, she’d jump and land on my pillow and stay there until I came to bed. If I said no, she’d lay on the floor next to the bed.

I have a basset hound now that DH got me 10 yrs. ago as a housewarming gift. Ike thinks he’s human at times. He will sit up on the couch w/his paw resting on the arm, back against the wall and looking out the window. When DH got a parakeet named Ralph (psycho bird) Ike went to look at what was moving in the cage. Then he turned around and went to the back door and left a “gift”. The next day, Ike saw the bird, went to the back door and again, left a “gift”. When I told the vet what he did, she laughed. Ike is his own person. He doesn’t like anything taking over his space. Now he’s fine with the bird as long as I talk to him first thing in the morning, feed him 1st, and then take care of the bird.

now as for the bird, he bites me when I try to feed him & when I try to pet him. He has left some beak marks on my fingers and wrist so I don’t bother with any physical contact. But he LOVES DH. He will sit on his shoulder, walk up and down his arm, and sit on his homemade perch hubby made for him for outside of the cage.

So over the past few months, I have taught him how to talk seeing as I have time on my hands. lol He can say, hello birdie, birdie-birdie-birdie, ike ike ike, phil, step up, whatyadoin? come here, and the latest phrase is help me.

 

[CarrieH]

I have a 9-month old orange-and-white kitten who is either insane or just really free-spirited. He is a very affectionate little guy, though, so I don’t mind. He loves to cuddle and nuzzle, and he will lick my nose. He went through a stage of stealing things and hiding them, and it took me five months to find his “stash” beneath a rack of shelves in the hall closet. The strangest thing he does is to steal the dishcloth from the sink and bring it to me in bed. At least he waits until it is dry, but he knows he is not allowed on the countertops or in the kitchen sink, and that if I were awake, he’d get yelled-at. So he waits until I’m asleep, and then brings me the dishcloth as a “love offering.” Another strange thing he does is refusing to drink from his water dish without swatting it first. I guess he wants to set the water in motion so he knows just where it is. So I had to go buy a really heavy shallow glass serving dish that he couldn’t knock over, because I got really tired of having to mop the kitchen floor every day.
http://bestsmileys.com/cats1/4.gif

 

[Kanda]

My mom’s cat, Gracie, thinks she is my brother’s mom. She kept bringing dead and half dead lizards, frogs, mice, etc. to my brother. She would drop them at his feet then jump up and swat his face (no claws). I told my brother that she was trying to teach him to fend for himself. So one day he went down the hill with her (their property is wooded) and he caught a lizard. Gracie rubbed against his leg and purred with her tail in the air. She hasn’t brought him anything - dead or alive - since then. Guess she thinks he is a good hunter now and can take care of himself.

My (mom’s) dog, Lucky (smooth coat collie - big dog), is another one that thinks he is human. He kicks my brother out of bed. Usually in the morning, my brother is sleeping on the floor, and Lucky is in his bed, using the pillow.

Once I saw Lucky stand up, put his paws on the counter, and pull the pizza box toward him. He opened the box and managed to only take one piece out. Then he set the pizza on the counter, closed the box, and pushed it back to the back of the counter. He only took that one piece. (wish I had that kind of will power)

 

[Pacbox]

My sister had a Holland Lop rabbit we called Dog because he liked to follow you around like a puppy. He ran free in my parents’ backyard. If anyone went out there, he’d follow you around to see what you were doing. It kind of freaked out the ac repair guy one time because Dog followed him around. Dog and I had an antagonistic relationship. He bit me, I sprayed him with the hose.

This same sister had a guinea pig that went through an identity crisis when we first got her. First, she though she was a pigeon and cooed all the time. Then she thought she was a rabbit and hopped everywhere. Later, she thought she was a person and would eat people food. Pizza crusts, drink the milk out of a bowl of cereal, cake.

I had a guinea pig (we did 4-H for years just so you know) that hated to live alone and moved in with the guinea pig mentioned above. Yoda, my guinea pig, was bossy and a bully but couldn’t stand to live alone. Anytime we gave her her own cage (basically plastic storage bins for clothes without the lids) she’d move. Finally, we just let live with the other guinea pig.

I had several guinea pigs that liked to watch/listen to TV.

One of my other sisters had a dwarf hamster that believe he was Houdini. Nasty little thing was cute but bit everyone. He was in a fish tank set up pretty high and on a regular basis would escape even though we fixed it so that he couldn’t. One time he had escaped and made it upstairs and into this sister’s closet where I eventually found him two days later. He was fine, I was pissed at him since I was worried he had escaped the house and possibly gotten hurt and I would have had to explain to my sister that her hamster was gone.