K
KCT
Guest
More like 23K to live on campus.
Do what you can to get admitted. Your folks may change their minds in time. —KCT
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Do what you can to get admitted. Your folks may change their minds in time. —KCT
B
Brain
Guest
i actually had an identical problem.
I am going to the U of Wa, but i wanted to go to carroll in montana. Both schools are awesome in their own right, but C had theology, which UW obviously wouldnt.
I am graced though with an unshakable inner peace. I simply said “ok, UW then.” Ill study philosophy instead, and do theology informally (perhaps formally) later in life
I am going to the U of Wa, but i wanted to go to carroll in montana. Both schools are awesome in their own right, but C had theology, which UW obviously wouldnt.
I am graced though with an unshakable inner peace. I simply said “ok, UW then.” Ill study philosophy instead, and do theology informally (perhaps formally) later in life
F
Feanaro_s_Wife
Guest
The OP states that he is going to pay for school himself.
Also, it doesn’t really matter if a parent can afford a certain school. If they are paying then they have the right to choose the school (within reason).
malia
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OutinChgoburbs
Guest
Prayers you have, but you say you live in San Diego? How about Aquinas? thomasaquinas.edu/My parents and I have been arguing over college lately. I will soon be on my own, this being my last year of high school, and I REALLY want to go to the Franciscan University of Steubenville (Ohio.) The problem is that my parents don’t want me to go to FUS because it’s so far from home (California.) They’re saying that it’s “too expensive” to go out of state, and they want me to stay here in San Diego and go to San Diego State instead. But FUS is my dream school, and I really want to go there. What should I do? Should I choose to go to FUS, if accepted, and risk ruining my relationship with the parents? Or should I just stay in San Diego, and lose out on a great college experience at my dream university? I really want to go to FUS, but it’s hard when my parents are being so unsupportive and angry with me.I appreciate any advice and prayers.
God Bless,
JMJ_Pinoy
Yes, it is “Great Books” school. This means it prepares one to do ANYTHING.
By the way- what can YOU do to make FUS a reality? How can YOU help with expenses? For what types of aid can you apply?
Sometimes, a private college is cheaper than a public one, in that they can offer more aid. My husband found this out a long time ago when he applied to and was accepted at UOP (That’s in Stockton, not Phoenix). Can you afford to apply to FUS and see what they offer, based on your SAT scores, grades, co-curriculars, etc.?
If you are that set on FUS, determine if it’s God will that you attend there, and you can do your part by performing the research to prove your point.
As you are the one paying for it, in the long run, it is your choice. But try to show your parents the WHY and HOW. They will feel better about the whole thing, and you will have shown them your mature side- which is probably why they are saying no.
T
Tonks40
Guest
JMJ_Pinoy:
I hope I can safely assume, by your moniker, that you are of Filipino decent. In that case, I totally understand your predicament, being a Filipina myself.
Filipino parents in general, by nature, have a tendency to try and dictate everything that their children have to do. A lof of it is a fear of losing control, fear of what their child may encounter in the big, open world, and more deeply, fear of losing their children and the values they’ve tried so hard to instill into them to secularism. They are also very quick to judge (especially Filipino mothers), their emotions in dealing with the unknown overtaking their sense of reason.
I would suggest what an earlier poster said - provide them with some solid information on FUS, even a videotape of the campus and their mission. Present it to them when you are calm, and when they start arguing against it, don’t react to their objections, and stay as calm and as focused as possible. If they still don’t lean towards that, tell them that you’ll leave the materials on FUS with them, tell them that you love them, and that you hope that they would review it, and let you know.
Believe me, I had a very hard time at this age when talking to my parents about college. In a Filipino household, tempers can flare very easily. They sometimes forget to act in charity and love. Just remember where they came from, remind them of the dreams they held for you (I’m sure you’ve been told), and tell them how much you honor and love them. They may not say it back, but I know that it’ll touch their hearts more than anything!
Hang in there!
Tonks40
I hope I can safely assume, by your moniker, that you are of Filipino decent. In that case, I totally understand your predicament, being a Filipina myself.
Filipino parents in general, by nature, have a tendency to try and dictate everything that their children have to do. A lof of it is a fear of losing control, fear of what their child may encounter in the big, open world, and more deeply, fear of losing their children and the values they’ve tried so hard to instill into them to secularism. They are also very quick to judge (especially Filipino mothers), their emotions in dealing with the unknown overtaking their sense of reason.
I would suggest what an earlier poster said - provide them with some solid information on FUS, even a videotape of the campus and their mission. Present it to them when you are calm, and when they start arguing against it, don’t react to their objections, and stay as calm and as focused as possible. If they still don’t lean towards that, tell them that you’ll leave the materials on FUS with them, tell them that you love them, and that you hope that they would review it, and let you know.
Believe me, I had a very hard time at this age when talking to my parents about college. In a Filipino household, tempers can flare very easily. They sometimes forget to act in charity and love. Just remember where they came from, remind them of the dreams they held for you (I’m sure you’ve been told), and tell them how much you honor and love them. They may not say it back, but I know that it’ll touch their hearts more than anything!
Hang in there!
Tonks40
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JMJ_Pinoy
Guest
Thanks. I think I’ll just apply to all the colleges I’m interested in… FUS, SDSU (yes, it’s actually one of my choices LOL. Not my number one choice, but it’s a back-up), UCLA, U. Dallas, maybe Benedictine? I’ll decide which college to go to once I know which ones accept me and which ones I can afford. I think my parents want me to apply to just SDSU though, so I’ll have to explain to them why I’m applying to more than one college.
J
JMJ_Pinoy
Guest
I was actually thinking about Aquinas a few years ago. But once I visited the web site and found out that they don’t offer any majors, I kind of scratched the school off my list. I don’t quite understand the “No majors, no minors” thing. Thanks for the suggestion though. Maybe I should take another look at Aquinas?
By the way- what can YOU do to make FUS a reality? How can YOU help with expenses? For what types of aid can you apply?
Sometimes, a private college is cheaper than a public one, in that they can offer more aid. My husband found this out a long time ago when he applied to and was accepted at UOP (That’s in Stockton, not Phoenix). Can you afford to apply to FUS and see what they offer, based on your SAT scores, grades, co-curriculars, etc.?
If you are that set on FUS, determine if it’s God will that you attend there, and you can do your part by performing the research to prove your point.
As you are the one paying for it, in the long run, it is your choice. But try to show your parents the WHY and HOW. They will feel better about the whole thing, and you will have shown them your mature side- which is probably why they are saying no.
I’ve set up an admissions interview with my FUS admissions counselor this weekend. We’re supposed to discuss everything, including financial aid. So, if my parents hopefully take me to the interview, we’ll find out more about all that.
I’ve asked some FUS students that I’ve been keeping contact with about financial aid, I’m still waiting for their replies. And I’ve also been reading all the info. about financial aid that I’ve received from FUS in the mail and SDSU’s “Early Outreach Program.” I’m also talking with my high school counselor and the advisor of our school’s “college prep” program.
Maybe I’ve brought my hopes up too high about going to FUS? I guess I’ll just try to get there, and if I can’t then I guess I won’t go there.
J
JMJ_Pinoy
Guest
Opo. Ako ang Pinoy. :yup:
Whoa, it’s like you totally know my family!
Thanks so much for the advice! Maramang salamat!I would suggest what an earlier poster said - provide them with some solid information on FUS, even a videotape of the campus and their mission. Present it to them when you are calm, and when they start arguing against it, don’t react to their objections, and stay as calm and as focused as possible. If they still don’t lean towards that, tell them that you’ll leave the materials on FUS with them, tell them that you love them, and that you hope that they would review it, and let you know.
Believe me, I had a very hard time at this age when talking to my parents about college. In a Filipino household, tempers can flare very easily. They sometimes forget to act in charity and love. Just remember where they came from, remind them of the dreams they held for you (I’m sure you’ve been told), and tell them how much you honor and love them. They may not say it back, but I know that it’ll touch their hearts more than anything!
Hang in there!
Tonks40
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YinYangMom
Guest
You’re kinda putting the cart before the horse.My parents and I have been arguing over college lately. I will soon be on my own, this being my last year of high school, and I REALLY want to go to the Franciscan University of Steubenville (Ohio.) The problem is that my parents don’t want me to go to FUS because it’s so far from home (California.) They’re saying that it’s “too expensive” to go out of state, and they want me to stay here in San Diego and go to San Diego State instead. But FUS is my dream school, and I really want to go there. What should I do? Should I choose to go to FUS, if accepted, and risk ruining my relationship with the parents? Or should I just stay in San Diego, and lose out on a great college experience at my dream university? I really want to go to FUS, but it’s hard when my parents are being so unsupportive and angry with me.
God Bless,
JMJ_Pinoy
Step back for a bit - give yourself and your parents room to breathe.
You’ve obviously stated your desire to go to FUS, and along with that, your willingness to leave California.
This should not be news to them since they’ve raised you and I suspect you’ve exhibited a bit of an adventuring spirit all along. So let them let this news sink in a bit.
In the meantime, focus on your last year of studies at high school, apply to all the universities on your list, but make no decisions until you receive their responses. Don’t even really discuss it or think about it once you’ve put the applications in the mail.
Every school has their admissions policies, some may come back to offer funding, others may not. Once you get their decisions, that’s the time to sit down, look over your real options (which may, or may not include FUS), and figure out which offers you would be in the position of accepting - and paying for yourself, since that is something you expressed interest in doing.
When you have that narrowed down list, you may find CA is where you’ll be staying and there will be no debate needed. But if you find other states are quite possible, that’s when you present your analysis to your parents. By showing them how you’ve worked out the financial/logistical details of the various options there’s not much they can say to counter your decisions.
The thing is, they are probably praying fervently that you stay in CA, while you are praying fervently that FUS becomes a real option for you. In the end, God’s will will be done…and since all parties prayed for an answer - when the answer comes - how can anyone argue???
Keep in mind any admissions decisions by universities will be conditional - not final until your high school transcripts are submitted showing you completed your undergrad work with the required GPA…so please…remain focused on your studies and leave the rest to God.
Peace!
p.s. Some advice from a mom of a senior in high school - show your parents that you are ready to support yourself and live away from them. Do your own laundry, clean your bathroom (toilet/shower/sinks and bedroom regularly without them telling you to, cook meals for yourself and for them, offer to help with the grocery shopping, make your own doctor appointments, take the initiative in refilling any regular prescriptions, get plenty of sleep during the week, don’t over do it on the weekends, be ready for mass before them, remind them of upcoming holy days of obligation or devotion opportunities at church. Those are the things we’re looking for in our young adults to give us the peace of mind we seek that you will be in God’s hands when you leave.
p.s.s. No U.S.D. on your list of possibilities???
J
JMJ_Pinoy
Guest
I’ll just apply to all the colleges I’m interested in, decide later, and just focus on my last year of high school for now. Thanks for the advice! It was really helpful!
J
JMJ_Pinoy
Guest
I used to be really interested in attending USD, but I’ve lost all interest.
There’s been too much negative news about USD:%between%
sdnewsnotes.com/ed/articles/2005/0502ak.htm
sdnewsnotes.com/ed/articles/2004/0412ak.htm
sdnewsnotes.com/ed/articles/2004/0404as.htm
sdnewsnotes.com/ed/articles/2003/1103an.htm
lifesite.net/ldn/2005/jul/05072902.html
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YinYangMom
Guest
Oh my heart breaks to read those articles…thank you for sharing…it is such a beautiful campus which has grown considerably over the years, but I guess I know now where the funds for such expansion came from.
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JMJ_Pinoy
Guest
I was really disappointed too when I heard all this. USD has a really nice campus, but some of the activities that they allow to take place on their campus just aren’t right.Oh my heart breaks to read those articles…thank you for sharing…it is such a beautiful campus which has grown considerably over the years, but I guess I know now where the funds for such expansion came from.
K
KCT
Guest
I thought most high schools encouraged students to apply to multiple colleges. If your advisor recommends it, tell your parents thats why you’re applying to so many.
Also, consider how much debt you may graduate with. Is it worth it to borrow to attend FUS when you might get scholarship money or much lower tuition at a local, state school?
My daughter wanted to go to DeSales. She got a very good scholarship from a local (private- not Catholic) school. She’s commuting and will graduate w/ little debt. You have to decide what your priorities are. —KCT
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