So let me repeat that
A census where God gets paid? GOOD
A census where God does not get paid? BAD
If David had remembered to give God his monetary kickback no one would have died. It’s right there in the Bible.
Wow. That’s a pretty twisted take on it. And you’re the one who’s claiming he’s not angry?
Here’s the thing: Exodus 30 describes the
temple tax. It’s something that’s owed by every male over twenty. We see it make an appearance in the Gospels – Peter and Jesus talk about it!
So, the tax isn’t
part of the census, but rather, happens to occur in conjunction with it in Exodus 30.
In general,
a census is evil because it demonstrates a lack of trust in God.
But, what about that census that you claim is all about God getting money? Not so, my friend: to find
that census, you need to turn to the beginning of the book of Numbers. There, we find that God commands Moses to take a census. (See? Your case is already unraveling! It’s not “census with money = good, census without money = bad”… it’s about “census at human command = bad”.

)
Ostensibly, this census was to determine the number of men who were available for military service. (That would be bad, though, right?) Keep reading Numbers: they used the count in order to arrange the marching order of the nation in the desert. So, it was used to promote order and properly protect against attack.
Moreover, I think I’d make the case that this knowledge of the relative sizes of the tribes allowed Moses to apportion the Promised Land among the tribes of Israel (see Deuteronomy 3).
So, I appreciate your facetious take on the notion of “census”, but I think you’re mistaken here.
