Arkansas mom Michelle Duggar gives birth to 18th child

[noclevername]

you take issue with a family not watching tv? What’s it to you?

I don’t mean that in a spiteful way, really. But why is it an “issue” for you if they don’t watch tv?

I dare you to not have tv in your house for a month. One gets extremely desensitized to what is on…your house will be so peaceful…and then when you see what is on while at a restaraunt, you won’t believe that you had it going on in the house. Not only the subject matter, but the rate that images are thrown out.

Keeping girls as girls and wearing skirts…I don’t do that, but I don’t have an “issue” with another family teaching their girls that.

I completely agree with you! My best friend does not own a TV, not because of religous reasons but just because she doesn’t want one. Her son is one of the smartest kids I know. This kid is scary smart and I’m not being biased because she is my friend. I think his being brilliant has a lot to do with the fact that they don’t have a TV. Not because of the TV itself but because it forces him to find entertainment in other ways and my friend spends more time with her son because she’s not watching TV either.

 

[sing]

Wow, how many siblings did you have when you were 5?

1. I was 5, two sisters who were 4 and 3, and a new baby brother.

 

[Nanny_PK]

I respect the Duggars’ choice. As long as they’re not doing anything illegal or immoral, to each his own.

I think the issue I have with their choices – just my opinion – is that the older kids seem to not have much of a choice. Granted, we see a 30-minute clip each week or sometimes an hour special; and I can guarantee you we don’t see everything. And while I agree that children are sometimes coddled and I see absolutely nothing wrong with children being made to be part of the family unit and do chores and such, it seems the Duggar children – they seem to focus in on the girls more but I’m sure it’s the boys as well – are doing things that the parents should do the majority of the time but they can’t with 18 children. It always seems to be the older girls cooking the family meals, cleaning the house, doing laundry for 20 people. The boys are doing maintenance things around this house I’m sure. But when do these older kids get to BE kids?

As I said, I respect their choices of the way they chose to live their lives. I just couldn’t see myself doing it that way.

 

[agapewolf]

I completely agree with you! My best friend does not own a TV, not because of religous reasons but just because she doesn’t want one. Her son is one of the smartest kids I know. This kid is scary smart and I’m not being biased because she is my friend. I think his being brilliant has a lot to do with the fact that they don’t have a TV. Not because of the TV itself but because it forces him to find entertainment in other ways and my friend spends more time with her son because she’s not watching TV either.

I’ve got friends that decided not to have any battery operated toys in their house. They have twin boys 1 1/2 years old. They are the calmest kids. They can entertain themselves for a long time.

I think that may be where SOME ADHD stuff comes from…over stimulation. Schools have to teach kids how to “make believe” now. (I know ADD is a real problem, and is not always caused be the environment…thats why I said “some”)

 

[noclevername]

I think that may be where SOME ADHD stuff comes from…over stimulation. Schools have to teach kids how to “make believe” now. (I know ADD is a real problem, and is not always caused be the environment…thats why I said “some”)

It is so funny that you say that. I completely agree. Especially with the fact kids don’t know how to “make believe” anymore. A co-worker was recently looking for crutches for her seven year old daughter. Not because anything was wrong with the her daughter, she just wanted to play with some crutches. Among other thoughts I had with this request, my main one is why do you need actual crutches? Why can’t she find a stick in the back yard and pretend they are crutches? Where is the imagination?

 

[blessourhome]

My eight year old does his own laundry, is that child labor? No, he’s learning how to be a participating member of the family, one who pitches in.

Wow. I wish I had been more like that at a younger age. My mom did, too, but she didn’t really enforce things like that (she tried but I wouldn’t really pay attention or just go play something). I had to learn it either on my own or through guilt.
Only now that I am married and have moved out do I see what has to be done around the house. I do have some domestic skills but most of it I am teaching myself, doing it my own way. In a way, I prefer it like that but sometimes, I feel a little stupid, especially when I have to look something basic up on the Internet like how to boil corn.

It makes me wonder how I might teach any future children about these things. I really want them to learn and have a routine but a fun one, not one that involves yelling and/or tears.

 

[samcarter14]

Wow. I wish I had been more like that at a younger age. My mom did, too, but she didn’t really enforce things like that (she tried but I wouldn’t really pay attention or just go play something). I had to learn it either on my own or through guilt.
Only now that I am married and have moved out do I see what has to be done around the house. I do have some domestic skills but most of it I am teaching myself, doing it my own way. In a way, I prefer it like that but sometimes, I feel a little stupid, especially when I have to look something basic up on the Internet like how to boil corn.

It makes me wonder how I might teach any future children about these things. I really want them to learn and have a routine but a fun one, not one that involves yelling and/or tears.

I know it sounds crazy, but he actually enjoys doing it himself. My husband was the one who suggested he was old enough to start doing it; he said when he started doing his own laundry it made him feel very independent and confident.

I have my son’s chore list on the fridge; I remind him to check it every day before we start school to make sure he’s done it all. Here are his responsibilities:

1. feed/water the cats (they live outside in the barn)
2. feed his fish
3. clean up his study, put clothes away
4. one day a week collect dirty laundry and start a load
5. breakfast
6. brush teeth
7. empty clean dishwasher

I do have to remind him to check the list, and sometimes remind him that, hey, your wet laundry is ready to go into the dryer, but i don’t do it for him.

It is GOOD for kids to have household responsibilities. The little ones, four and two, are responsible for helping clean up the toys at naptime. Even a two year old can understand “please put the blocks back in the box,” and if they’re watching their older siblings do it, they’ll understand even more. Personally, when I watch the Duggars–it isn’t often, but I catch the show occasionally—I see confident, independent kids who cheerfully help each other. I do not see unhappy slaves, I see children who have been raised to respect and think of others first.

OTOH, that Jon and Kate show, the kids there are whiny, unhappy, slapping each other all the time, miserable. I know they’re younger and it’s different because they’re multiples, but the contrast is amazing. I also don’t see the older girls really doing any chores, or being given any reasonable, age-appropriate responsibilities.

 

[PatienceAndLove]

On another board I belong to, there is a thread going on about the Duggars as well.
And I have to say, I am suprised everyone is as positive as they are. I have seen many anti-Duggar pictures and websites, so the charity on both of these threads is AMAZING!

And I have to agree, I don’t see unhappy children (as opposed to that other show).

 

[SeekerJen]

OTOH, that Jon and Kate show, the kids there are whiny, unhappy, slapping each other all the time, miserable. I know they’re younger and it’s different because they’re multiples, but the contrast is amazing. I also don’t see the older girls really doing any chores, or being given any reasonable, age-appropriate responsibilities.

I wonder how much of that has to do with parental example. Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar seem like mature, responsible, kind people. Michelle in particular seems to exude serenity. In contrast, whenever I watch the Jon and Kate show, I’m always taken aback at how they speak to each other in front of the children, and especially how Kate treats Jon like an exasperating child. Kids learn from example.

 

[PatienceAndLove]

I wonder how much of that has to do with parental example. Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar seem like mature, responsible, kind people. Michelle in particular seems to exude serenity. In contrast, whenever I watch the Jon and Kate show, I’m always taken aback at how they speak to each other in front of the children, and especially how Kate treats Jon like an exasperating child. Kids learn from example.

There is an youtube.com/watch?v=uidWs05kyVE"]outtake of an interview with Michelle Duggar on YouTube It’s amazing how calm she stays while trying to do the interview and wrangle two wiggly wee ones!

 

[BlestOne]

Ya know… I just came from a typical Catholic family of my generation… just 5 kids…

We had to do some of the things some posters are whining about children doing…

washing dishes
cooking
laundry
changing diapers
mowing lawns
getting firewood
gardening
scrubbing walls
polishing copper bottoms on pans
dusting
mopping and waxing floors
ironing
sibling care
general cleaning
shoveling snow
raking leaves
shoveling water toward the sump pump when it rained…

this was called being part of a family! Dear Lord… how is a kid supposed to learn to do all these things? You don’t wake up one day and just know… it does take years to perfect some of these skills.

We were all doing laundry as soon as we could reach into the washer (about 9 or 10), washing dishes even before that… mowing was 11 or 12… come on… it didn’t kill me or my children… it was good for us.

 

[23eagle23]

I am open to life, but …18 kids god bless them but WOW…

 

[Calliso]

I respect the Duggars’ choice. As long as they’re not doing anything illegal or immoral, to each his own.

I think the issue I have with their choices – just my opinion – is that the older kids seem to not have much of a choice. Granted, we see a 30-minute clip each week or sometimes an hour special; and I can guarantee you we don’t see everything. And while I agree that children are sometimes coddled and I see absolutely nothing wrong with children being made to be part of the family unit and do chores and such, it seems the Duggar children – they seem to focus in on the girls more but I’m sure it’s the boys as well – are doing things that the parents should do the majority of the time but they can’t with 18 children. It always seems to be the older girls cooking the family meals, cleaning the house, doing laundry for 20 people. The boys are doing maintenance things around this house I’m sure. But when do these older kids get to BE kids?

As I said, I respect their choices of the way they chose to live their lives. I just couldn’t see myself doing it that way.

Yeah and nothing is wrong with kids doing chores and helping out. But yeah it seems that especially the older girls aren;t getting time to be kids themselves. And you only get a very short time of your life to be a kid. We spend the majority of our lives as adults. Now maybe they are happy with it maybe not. Really though I wouldn;t be surprised if a few of those older girls maybe even the boys end up deciding to have very few or even no kids themselves.

 

[LDNCatholic]

Well shes almost equalled my grandmother at 19 children, still, she has time.

 

[samcarter14]

Yeah and nothing is wrong with kids doing chores and helping out. But yeah it seems that especially the older girls aren;t getting time to be kids themselves. And you only get a very short time of your life to be a kid. We spend the majority of our lives as adults. Now maybe they are happy with it maybe not. Really though I wouldn;t be surprised if a few of those older girls maybe even the boys end up deciding to have very few or even no kids themselves.

I have seen the Duggar boys doing chores–chopping wood, mowing the lawn, helping stock the pantry (a very large pantry, at that). Yes, their chores are more gender-specific. I think you’ll find that happens in even small families; my own father declined to show me how to mow the lawn, and my brother wasn’t really expected to learn how to cook.

Now, I’ve seen Duggar boys in the kitchen cooking. One segment showed the 9 year old son making breakfast for everyone.

A very short time of your life to be a kid…true, but if we consider someone to be an adult when they are 18, capable of not only driving (at 16) but making big decisions such as voting, marriage…shouldn’t they be trained BEFORE then how to be responsible? Why just start when the kid is sixteen or fifteen? I think it should start–gently at first, of course–much earlier.

 

[MomaMary8]

A very short time of your life to be a kid…true, but if we consider someone to be an adult when they are 18, capable of not only driving (at 16) but making big decisions such as voting, marriage…shouldn’t they be trained BEFORE then how to be responsible? Why just start when the kid is sixteen or fifteen? I think it should start–gently at first, of course–much earlier.

As parents we are raising future adults, not just taking care of a child…that is a baby sitter’s job. A parents job is much more complex.

Kudos to moms who teach a young child how to change a diaper. I wish I had known how when i had my first

As to the difference between Jon and Kate and the Duggars: Jon and Kate made the pro-life decision to give birth to all the multiples they were pg with. Its not like they planned to have 8, they just accepted the gift. The Duggars, however, continue to be open to life, not saying no to the next, always making room for one more. That is much different than being surprised with multiples. (don’t get me wrong, Jon and Kate did the right thing, but the approach at how their large families came to be highlight their differences.)

 

[MomaMary8]

Ya know… I just came from a typical Catholic family of my generation… just 5 kids…

We had to do some of the things some posters are whining about children doing…

washing dishes
cooking
laundry
changing diapers
mowing lawns
getting firewood
gardening
scrubbing walls
polishing copper bottoms on pans
dusting
mopping and waxing floors
ironing
sibling care
general cleaning
shoveling snow
raking leaves
shoveling water toward the sump pump when it rained…

this was called being part of a family! Dear Lord… how is a kid supposed to learn to do all these things? You don’t wake up one day and just know… it does take years to perfect some of these skills.

We were all doing laundry as soon as we could reach into the washer (about 9 or 10), washing dishes even before that… mowing was 11 or 12… come on… it didn’t kill me or my children… it was good for us.

:clapping:

 

[yellowbicycle]

Wow. I wish I had been more like that at a younger age. My mom did, too, but she didn’t really enforce things like that (she tried but I wouldn’t really pay attention or just go play something). I had to learn it either on my own or through guilt.
Only now that I am married and have moved out do I see what has to be done around the house. I do have some domestic skills but most of it I am teaching myself, doing it my own way. In a way, I prefer it like that but sometimes, I feel a little stupid, especially when I have to look something basic up on the Internet like how to boil corn.

It makes me wonder how I might teach any future children about these things. I really want them to learn and have a routine but a fun one, not one that involves yelling and/or tears.

Wait, you can BOIL CORN?!?!?
I really wished my mom would have FORCED me to learn how to cook better when I was younger. I’m learning it all now, when I have to cook for me, hubby and two kids. On the job training and all. I just wish I had a clue before. My best dishes so far have been the gravy that you could slice, the dip that tasted like feet and cookies that my own DOG rejected. He eats lightbulbs but not my food. Yikes.
Congratulations to the Duggars! I don’t watch the show myself (not a fan of the tele and all) but they seem like nice enough folks.

 

[Katie1723]

… no tv watching whatsoever, etc) …

Might that be why there are 18 kids??
Kathy

 

[SeekerJen]

As to the difference between Jon and Kate and the Duggars: Jon and Kate made the pro-life decision to give birth to all the multiples they were pg with. Its not like they planned to have 8, they just accepted the gift. The Duggars, however, continue to be open to life, not saying no to the next, always making room for one more. That is much different than being surprised with multiples. (don’t get me wrong, Jon and Kate did the right thing, but the approach at how their large families came to be highlight their differences.)

Jon and Kate’s two sets of multiples were the result of fertility treatment because they had trouble getting pregnant on their own. As an infertile woman, it really stings to hear a fertile person such as yourself talk about how a couple with fertility troubles must not be open to life or be less open to life than a couple with normal fertility because they don’t obviously keep trying for more.

In Kate’s own words