Arkansas mom Michelle Duggar gives birth to 18th child

[wanner47]

Congratulations to the Duggars!

In my opinion, however, her name is horrible. Ugh. I hate the trend to stick a “y” in a male name to make it feminine.

 

[whatevergirl]

Might that be why there are 18 kids??
Kathy

 

[sanctamaria17]

Ya know… I just came from a typical Catholic family of my generation… just 5 kids…

We had to do some of the things some posters are whining about children doing…

washing dishes
cooking
laundry
changing diapers
mowing lawns
getting firewood
gardening
scrubbing walls
polishing copper bottoms on pans
dusting
mopping and waxing floors
ironing
sibling care
general cleaning
shoveling snow
raking leaves
shoveling water toward the sump pump when it rained…

this was called being part of a family! Dear Lord… how is a kid supposed to learn to do all these things? You don’t wake up one day and just know… it does take years to perfect some of these skills.

We were all doing laundry as soon as we could reach into the washer (about 9 or 10), washing dishes even before that… mowing was 11 or 12… come on… it didn’t kill me or my children… it was good for us.

Exactly. I was ten years old, doing laundry for the first time, and I did seven, yes, seven, loads. It didn’t kill me. I’ve also grown up washing dishes, cooking, raking leaves, shoveling snow, vacuuming, mopping, scrubbing floors, cleaning sinks and toilets, etc, etc, etc. I still had a childhood and it was good for me!

Now, I go to college five hours away in a big city, I have to manage finances, buy groceries, keep my room clean, go to school full time, work nearly as much, and make time to study, hang out with friends, and take advantage of the city. Growing up with a value for hard work and discipline helped me succeed in so many areas because of that.

 

[Calliso]

Once again I donlt think anyone * at least not me* is complaining about kids doing most of the chores listed here. I think we are just concerned that the Duggar kids mainly the older girls are getting a bit too much on their plate if you know what I mean. Now of course I could be wrong maybe they do get some free time. But it isn;t the fact that they do chores that bothers me…kids should work they should help out around the house a lot. What bothers me is that it seems is that the kids are doing much of the parenting as well. From what I have heard it seems as soon as a baby is weaned it is passed on to a older sibling to basically raise. Course once again I could be wrong…we do only see some of their life not all of it. So hopefully things aren;t quite what it seems to me.

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

This wouldn’t have been news 100 yrs ago. How sad that things have changed so much that anyone having a large family is seen as some kind of freak, to be gawked at on tv. Our society is so messed up now that anything over 2 is ‘a lot of kids’.
God bless them, now if they’d just convert!

actually, 18 children by one couple would have been a huge topic even a 100 years ago or more than that even.

marie antonette’s mother had that many and it was quite the conversation!

**I don’t think it’s just having a large family, it’s having 18, which is more than just large by anyone standards - even mine! **

**as for the older kids not having a childhood or being over-worked or not having enough freedom/choices… **

frankly, I think that’s all over-rated.

we aren’t raising children, we’re raising adults.
play comes after work
freedom comes after responsibility/duty
choice comes after knowledge

giving any of those things in the wrong order is usually not wise.

ignorant choices aren’t really choices - just stupid mistakes that could have been avoided

freedom w/o having learned responsibility and duty is nothing more than selfishness

play without work to earn it is just laziness

all that said…
**I’m not a Duggar fan b/c I think she gives too much parenting over to the older kids too. I wouldn’t say it’s wrong. I’d say it’s not a parenting style I agree with. **

**But who knows, maybe if I end up with 18 kids, by that point I’ll have changed my attitude about it. **

 

[yoniage]

ROGERS, Ark. – An Arkansas woman has given birth to her 18th child.

Congratulations to her for she’s obviously a woman which knows
what she’s doing. Hopefully she would want to contribute to medical science in some way.

 

[mm1991]

I love the Duggars!
The mother is such an inspiration!

 

[maryprayforme]

The name is hyphenated. So it is actually Jordyn-Grace.

I read their web site a few years ago. They apparently did use th pill during the early years of their marriage. Then they realized that they were being closed to the possibility of life by continuing to use it.

In a strange way, this Protestant family is more Catholic than most Catholic families. They live their lives all for God. Yes, they seem like freaks to many in society. But nowadays, most of society lives their lives for everything else but God.

 

[lovemysix]

I haven’t read the entire thread, but I did want to comment that I’m not particularly impressed by what little of the Duggars I have seen. I know several very large families in which the older kids do most of the parenting/work of raising the younger kids, and it’s not pretty. Certainly, if a family is orphaned, older siblings might be put in a position in which they have to parent the younger ones, and it can work. However, I don’t think it’s the ideal that should be considered normal.

In my experience, when families get that very large, the older girls basically end up being little mothers but didn’t get one iota of choice in the actual bringing of these little babies into the world. Heck, they didn’t even get to have the lovemaking but end up with all the responsibilities that come along with the product of lovemaking. One family I know assigns one of the younger children to one of the older children each morning; that older child is then responsible for the dressing, feeding, diapering, and watching of that younger child for that day. The mother is just plain overwhelmed with homeschooling and trying to keep what little sanity she has left.

I’m all about kids working and contributing to the family. In fact, I am totally convinced that many, if not most, of the ills of modern society have their roots in the fact that we all have the luxury of way too much time on our hands and not enough physical labor. So it’s not chores I have a problem with. It’s when young kids (usually the girls) have to shoulder a good part of the responsibility of parenting that I get the heebie-jeebies. I feel that if my husband and I chose to get married and have children, it’s OUR responsibility to parent them. If we should both die or become terminally ill, certainly our older children might end up having to do more of the parenting, but that’s not what I consider ideal.

Just my .02. I’ve lived around a lot of very large families (and have several in my own family), and I’ve seen it done very well and very poorly, just like everything else in life. When the older kids have to raise the younger kids, it’s usually not a very happy situation.

Lauren

 

[twk001]

I love the Duggars. I have watched all of their specials on TLC, am a weekly fan of their series, and have read their book. I would like to point out that the Duggar family models the care of their young kids on what most big families do- “the buddy system”. each older child is responsible for helping a younger one get ready each morning, brush their hair, teeth, get breakfast done, etc until their school day begins. and yes, the boys do also have a younger buddy. I believe, as a previous poster said, that this family is more Catholic than many of our own. They live with a servant’s attitude, and preach the JOY rule in their home: Jesus first, others second, yourself last. What an incredible way to live. They montior TV, internet and such, homeschool all their kids, and totally give their lives to the Lord. I know that many of us may do the same, but I feel as if many posters on this thread aren’t being very Christian-like at all. The Duggars are truly an incredible family. Their web-site offers a lot of good tools for raising strong Christian kids. I hope for them many blessings. twk

 

[BlestOne]

I absolutely love their big huge house… it is kinda cool that they only have 1 room for girls and 1 for boys… I think I would have done at least 2 for each gender… but hey… thats just me.

I think Michelle is an inspiration to women and being open to life.

But… I so totally hate the name thing… too cutesy to have everybody’s name start with the same letter! We had a big family that lived near us growing up… and they did the rhyming thing… until they ran out of names… some of them got really bizarre and the last one…poor kid, he got Lincoln-Larry even though they already had a Larry.

I think the names were
Jerry, Larry, Perry, Kerry, Mary, Terry, Zary, Cherry, Sherry, etc… all 17 of them down to the youngest… Lincoln-Larry…

If I knew I was gonna have a ton of kids… Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Peter, etc…

 

[Salonika]

lovemysix:

In my experience, when families get that very large, the older girls basically end up being little mothers but didn’t get one iota of choice in the actual bringing of these little babies into the world.

One family I know assigns one of the younger children to one of the older children each morning; that older child is then responsible for the dressing, feeding, diapering, and watching of that younger child for that day.

I’m all about kids working and contributing to the family… So it’s not chores I have a problem with. It’s when young kids (usually the girls) have to shoulder a good part of the responsibility of parenting that I get the heebie-jeebies.

I agree.

While the older children may be able to do the physical caring for a younger sibling, they are not usually old enough to have the maturity to bring them up. And also, as other posters have said, children have the right to be children and do the things children do for part of the day.

Also how much time can parents of a family the size of Michelle Duggar and her husband give each of the children any real personal time?

 

[maryprayforme]

There is a difference between helping ut with physical aspets of the family, (e.g. cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, helping youger siblings) and actually raising them. Please people! I have 4 and the older ones are expected to do certain things around the house too. I am raising human beings to go out into the world and not be self-centered. Some of you are making it sound like all this womand does is sit around and gestate.

 

[happymommy]

Their kids get to be kids. They have a huge play room and toys everywhere.

They play outside instead of watching T.V., oh no!

Their girls wear dresses and look like girls How terrible.

They live their life based on their beliefs, who would have ever thought to do that!

They all learn how to play the violin and the piano:tsktsk:

Their children help with the house work and they don’t have to yell at them to do it, well, they must be doing something wrong!

Just because they have to help doesn’t mean they are taking their childhood away. I think it’s great the are so open to life. They are debt free! I’m not paying for their kids, they are welcome to have as many as they want! The enjoy their children and I guess they must enjoy each other They are happy people. They are not judging others who have small families, why should we judge them and how they parent. I know I’m not up for mother of the year, are any of you?

 

[twk001]

amen,amen,amen Happymommy!!! I completely agree. they are the coolest family. (psst…i think that many of the negative posters here have probably never seen their show or actually read their book). God bless the Duggars! twk

 

[psr13]

I absolutely love their big huge house… it is kinda cool that they only have 1 room for girls and 1 for boys… I think I would have done at least 2 for each gender… but hey… thats just me.

I think Michelle is an inspiration to women and being open to life.

But… I so totally hate the name thing… too cutesy to have everybody’s name start with the same letter! We had a big family that lived near us growing up… and they did the rhyming thing… until they ran out of names… some of them got really bizarre and the last one…poor kid, he got Lincoln-Larry even though they already had a Larry.

I think the names were
Jerry, Larry, Perry, Kerry, Mary, Terry, Zary, Cherry, Sherry, etc… all 17 of them down to the youngest… Lincoln-Larry…

If I knew I was gonna have a ton of kids… Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Peter, etc…

I too find the room thing odd, but the kids wanted it that way. I think that says a lot about them. They are very close to each other. Most kids would give anything for their own rooms, but these kids WANT to be with their siblings.

 

[monicatholic]

i have ten kids.

my kids do chores.

they have plenty of responsibility.

i’m not whining.

but i suspect if the Duggars had less money, if their kids were slightly disheveled, wore hand-me-downs, had a few public meltdowns, or runny noses, they’d be judged harshly in every conversation.

we are friendly with families of 11 and 12 kids.

other catholic folks-- people who, in one breath are breathless over the Duuggars, instead are judgmental, disnmissive and unapproving of our family friends. Why? Their kids are happy and well taken care of, too. But they have less stuff, less new stuff, can’t spend nine grand on groceries every month and put 3 and 4 kids in a single room out of necessity.

open to life? sure the Duggars are open to life. in a profoundly agendized way.

 

[genealogist]

I am sure that they are open to life. I would bet they are not only open to life but using NFP to conceive. Years ago people did not have 18 kids and counting. 10 kids sure, a dozen yea but 18 is a lot. I have seem many 1900 and 1910 US censuses where the mothers were asked number of children born number living and I have not seen anyone over 15. That is not to say that no one did but MOST did NOT have more than 10 kids.

Perhaps if the older daughters were not so helpful she would have less time and energy to keep conceiving. An exhausted mother and her equally tired farmer husband were probably the NFP of earlier generations.

They seem like a very nice family. My only quibble with them is that they are not members of a congregation. Home church strikes me as odd. I understand home schools but I think home church crosses a line.

 

[BlessedbyGodx2]

I don’t think you can really compare and contrast the Duggers and Jon and Kate plus 8-
The Gosslen 6 are ALL the same age so developmentally they are all in the same place… which means they all need the same amount of attention and want the same toys etc… I think alot of the fighting over toys and whining is due to the fact that they are the same age and there is so much more to fight about that way. I have never raised multiples nor do I know anymore how has any besides twins so what do I know?
I find both shows interesting… although I do think the Dugger older children have ALOT of responsibilty. On the show it shows maybe 2 of them making and cleaning up breakfast for 20… that is ALOT of work even for 2 people!!!
But the kids do seem calm, helpful, Godly people.
I think they have some things right and others not so right…

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

I too find the room thing odd, but the kids wanted it that way. I think that says a lot about them. They are very close to each other. Most kids would give anything for their own rooms, but these kids WANT to be with their siblings.

hmm, I don’t know any large families that have kids like that. altho I’m sure they exist. My own kids are constantly reevaluating boudnaries, but they would all HATE to have their own room. as a matter of fact, being told that they have to sleep in a room by themselves is a punishment that gets tears in this house. and for years the only one to have her own room was my oldest dd, but she was the only girl until the 8th baby was born. She hated it and was on cloud 9 at the idea of a baby sister to share her room with. All of the kids have argued over who will get this newest baby in their room when she’s old enough for her own bed.

I am sure that they are open to life. I would bet they are not only open to life but using NFP to conceive.

actually, she says they don’t, but she only bf for I think 6 months or so?

They seem like a very nice family. My only quibble with them is that they are not members of a congregation. Home church strikes me as odd. I understand home schools but I think home church crosses a line.

**well to be fair ANY good catholic should feel that way. it’s a mortal sin to home church if one is catholic as we are to attend Holy Days of Obligation - of which includes any Sunday Mass we are otherwise able to attend. **