Article: "Family Advice: My Extended Family Curses Around My Kids."

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If you don’t use foul language yourself, you can expect your children to avoid using it.

If they say, “But Uncle Frank says that!” you can say:

I am not Uncle Frank’s mother. It is not my place to correct Uncle Frank. I am your mother. It is my place and my duty to correct you. You are not to talk like that. May I remind you, too, young man/lady, that you are not going to be outstanding in any way if you use the way other people act as an excuse for your bad behavior.

Do I see you trying to do better at the things Uncle Frank does more nicely than you do? No, I am sorry, but I haven’t noticed any of that. Next time, I want to see that you’ve looked at what Uncle Frank does that is the most praiseworthy, and imitate that. Did you see how nicely he looked out for Grandma, how he noticed her water needed to be filled and took care of it without being told? How he offered to change channels to watch what Uncle Bob wanted to watch, instead of his own show? How he went and got Aunt Beth’s coat for her and held it up for her to put on when it was time to go? Imitate those things, not the things you’re not allowed to do.
 
I think, in your own house, you can be a little “stronger” about asking them to try not using that language around your children. You have to say it to them, in front of your child, then your child with respect your conviction and courage.
 
My husband and I always dreaded the summer visits to my extended family. The language was bad and the behavior was worse. Tons of drinking and the cousins were all living with their boyfriends etc. Later we found out that this is why our own children don’t do those things…

On one trip home from the extended family gathering we all were talking about what we had just witnessed. That is when the teens began to say “Im never living with my boyfriend…did you hear she thinks marriage is no big deal…what would be different?” Then they began to see the drinking wasn’t cool and living with their parents after college was kinda lame.

What I am trying to get at is that sometimes bad role models help to make moral children. They can see why it is wrong and how bad choices effect lives. And it always leads to our family praying for the cousins, which is a win/win.

Oh, and that we love family no matter what!
 
EasterJoy said:
If you don’t use foul language yourself, you can expect your children to avoid using it.

If they say, “But Uncle Frank says that!” you can say:

I am not Uncle Frank’s mother. It is not my place to correct Uncle Frank. I am your mother. It is my place and my duty to correct you. You are not to talk like that. May I remind you, too, young man/lady, that you are not going to be outstanding in any way if you use the way other people act as an excuse for your bad behavior.

Do I see you trying to do better at the things Uncle Frank does more nicely than you do? No, I am sorry, but I haven’t noticed any of that. Next time, I want to see that you’ve looked at what Uncle Frank does that is the most praiseworthy, and imitate that. Did you see how nicely he looked out for Grandma, how he noticed her water needed to be filled and took care of it without being told? How he offered to change channels to watch what Uncle Bob wanted to watch, instead of his own show? How he went and got Aunt Beth’s coat for her and held it up for her to put on when it was time to go? Imitate those things, not the things you’re not allowed to do.
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:clapping::clapping::clapping:

Best response possible. It’s classy and it drives home the fact that they’re accountable for their own behavior.
 
My brother came to my house as a new Jewish convert, and threw the bible saying “the New Testament is all lies” in front of me and my daughter. Just to think, 18 years prior, we were altar boys together… Sorry bro
 
EasterJoy said:
I am not Uncle Frank’s mother. It is not my place to correct Uncle Frank.
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Nope, just a brother, sister, friend, and someone who is not afraid to appeal to an uncle’s good side.

It takes both courage and love to admonish someone. After one or two admonishments, then keep a distance from him. If he respects his nieces and nephews, he will make an effort. If he makes an honest mistakes, he will apologize to them.

We do not have to accept bad behavior because of some good behavior.
 
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