As a Catholic: Do you feel you know your "sexual identity"?

[joshvanrad]

In my continuing search through my faith and the various resources I have as a Catholic I have stumbled upon something that I have dedicated little meditation to. I would like to ask my fellow Catholics if they feel they are in touch with their sexual identity.

The CCC states:

2332 Sexuality affects all aspects of the human person in the unity of his body and soul. It especially concerns affectivity, the capacity to love and to procreate, and in a more general way the aptitude for forming bonds of communion with others.

2333 Everyone, man and woman, should acknowledge and accept his sexual identity. Physical, moral, and spiritual difference and complementarity are oriented toward the goods of marriage and the flourishing of family life. The harmony of the couple and of society depends in part on the way in which the complementarity, needs, and mutual support between the sexes are lived out.

and

2337 Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being. Sexuality, in which man’s belonging to the bodily and biological world is expressed, becomes personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman.

In my discernment of part III section II of the CCC I am beginning to think that our sexuality is something felt on a larger scale than just in married life. I would be led to believe that this chapter of the CCC is asking us to integrate our sexuality into various aspects of life. It says we sexuality helps us in “forming bonds of communion with others.”

Being brought up in the Catholic faith I have seen many Catholics who are afriad of the very notion of sexuality, and I have even seen some threads on this forum that further that thought. If we are to have a truer grasp of chastity, should we not also accept that we are sexual creatures and that sexuality, when integrated with the movements of our “true spirit”, is a good thing?

Do you feel that you know your sexual identity?

Joshua C.

 

[JustPink]

Absolutely. As sexual beings, our sexuality is very important to us and very much a part of who we are, whether we are celibate or married. It is never good to ignore or dismiss our sexuality, even if we are celibate for life, because it is still such a huge part of who we are as human beings

This is also the reason why I reject the belief that some Catholics have that people with SSA should refrain from identifying themselves as gay or homosexual if they are living chastely. Even if we are not “using” our sexuality, it is still an integral part of who we are, and to try to deny people of their sexuality or to pretend that it doesn’t exist is only hindering them, IMHO.

 

[RoseMary131]

This is also the reason why I reject the belief that some Catholics have that people with SSA should refrain from identifying themselves as gay or homosexual if they are living chastely. Even if we are not “using” our sexuality, it is still an integral part of who we are, and to try to deny people of their sexuality or to pretend that it doesn’t exist is only hindering them, IMHO.

We all are always using our sexuality - we are made as sexual being - its not something to remove from our being.

That is not the same as saying we are sexually active or desire to be sexually active.

People have a sexuality as male or female.

It is not something anyone can “deny or pretend that it doesn’t exist”. You might be confusing “sexuality” with a desire to share sexual actions.

 

[joshvanrad]

We all are always using our sexuality - we are made as sexual being - its not something to remove from our being.

That is not the same as saying we are sexually active or desire to be sexually active.

People have a sexuality as male or female.

It is not something anyone can “deny or pretend that it doesn’t exist”. You might be confusing “sexuality” with a desire to share sexual actions.

I find that people can, in fact, deny their own sexuality. Or, at least, try to hide it.

 

[joshvanrad]

And just to clarify I am not talking about being “sexually active.” Or engaging in physical sexual activities with people outside of marriage.

I am not at all suggesting that sexual physical contact is something that we must embrace with the people around us. That is not Catholic teaching.

Joshua C.

 

[Avila123]

Absolutely. As sexual beings, our sexuality is very important to us and very much a part of who we are, whether we are celibate or married. It is never good to ignore or dismiss our sexuality, even if we are celibate for life, because it is still such a huge part of who we are as human beings

This is also the reason why I reject the belief that some Catholics have that people with SSA should refrain from identifying themselves as gay or homosexual if they are living chastely. Even if we are not “using” our sexuality, it is still an integral part of who we are, and to try to deny people of their sexuality or to pretend that it doesn’t exist is only hindering them, IMHO.

Well said. I watched an EWTN program where the presenters (I think Fr Barron was one of them) who said they were humbled by the heavy crosses that some of the devout Catholics carried because of their sexuality. They didn’t go into much detail but a special support network had been set up in the USA to enable the Church to give more tailored mentoring, guidance and support. If we cannot recognize that some of our family have different challenges to face, how can we support each other?

OP. Thank you for the question which has got me reading the CCC. I particularily like 2335 “Each of the two sexes is an image of the power and tenderness of God, with equal dignity though in a different way.”

 

[MJJean]

I have met with many Christians in general who try to deny the power and gift of sexuality and/or believe it to be “bad”. These people seem to concentrate on lust and sin and fail to recognize the wonder and beauty of sexuality.

I realized the power and beauty of sexuality and was comfortable with my sexual identity long before I found the Church.

 

[Lochias]

My sexuality is male. I am celibate, being single and unmarried, and so I utilize my sexuality as a role model to other males (and females, if they’ve had horrible examples of how males should act), and as a protector and nurturer of my family and friends.

I strive to be an example of male sexuality as it should be in the world and in the Church. That is my sexual identity, intrinsic to my identity as a child of God.

 

[joshvanrad]

I am seeing some very wonderful responses to a topic that has the potential for being difficult to breach.

I am glad to see that there are other Catholics who are in touch with their sexual identities. I think the issues of sexuality, lust, and self-mastery are fine lines and must be balanced very carefully. I am glad to see that people have taken up that cross and continue to strive to balance their sexual nature.

I would like to remind everyone (including myself): these things were written largely by clergy- celibate people, many of which had never experienced physical sexual contact. I find that important because it illustrates that the leaders of our church value their sexual nature along with their commitment to abstaining from becoming physically intimate. Those two things can live together in a chaste way.

A person can be sexual and chaste.

 

[JustPink]

We all are always using our sexuality - we are made as sexual being - its not something to remove from our being.

That is not the same as saying we are sexually active or desire to be sexually active.

People have a sexuality as male or female.

It is not something anyone can “deny or pretend that it doesn’t exist”. You might be confusing “sexuality” with a desire to share sexual actions.

Oh I agree of course. When I said “using sexuality” I simply meant not having a commitment to celibacy… whether due to priesthood or homosexuality or whatever.

I’m not confusing anything. You simply misunderstand what I"m saying. I’m referring to the belief that some people here have, that if you are celibate you have no business acknowledging your sexuality at all. For example, some people here think that if a person has SSA and is living chastely, that person should NOT identify him or herself as gay or homosexual. Instead, that person should just all together disregard the fact that they are sexual beings with a sexual orientation. I just don’t think that’s a healthy way of dealing with SSA.

 

[Deus_tecum]

If you are male, you sexually identify as a male, and if you are female you sexually identify as a female. You do not identify according to “feelings” that come from a disorder.

 

[JustPink]

If you are male, you sexually identify as a male, and if you are female you sexually identify as a female. You do not identify according to “feelings” that come from a disorder.

Lol, I do not think a person’s sexuality/sexual orientation is something as simple and petty as “feelings.”

It’s OK to acknowledge that you have a disorder.

 

[joshvanrad]

If you are male, you sexually identify as a male, and if you are female you sexually identify as a female. You do not identify according to “feelings” that come from a disorder.

Have you read through the section of the CCC that I am detailing?

 

[Mimi20]

Being brought up in the Catholic faith I have seen many Catholics who are afriad of the very notion of sexuality, and I have even seen some threads on this forum that further that thought.

Lol, oh yes. The source of “Catholic guilt” lives on!

If we are to have a truer grasp of chastity, should we not also accept that we are sexual creatures and that sexuality, when integrated with the movements of our “true spirit”, is a good thing?

OP, you’ve lost be a bit at this, would you care to elaborate? Specifically ‘true spirit’? It’s not registering to me at the moment.

If you are male, you sexually identify as a male, and if you are female you sexually identify as a female. You do not identify according to “feelings” that come from a disorder.

Sexuality as gender is not a worldwide accepted concept. It is heavily in the U.S. but it’s actually different in other places of the world.

 

[dshix]

In my continuing search through my faith and the various resources I have as a Catholic I have stumbled upon something that I have dedicated little meditation to. I would like to ask my fellow Catholics if they feel they are in touch with their sexual identity.

Yep. All I have to do to know it is look down.

Then, the only remaining step to take is to accept the vocation as a man or woman given to us by God, take it with both hands, and embrace it.

 

[Loving_disciple]

I think I know my sexuality. I am a guy and I need a girl to make babies so yah

 

[joshvanrad]

OP, you’ve lost be a bit at this, would you care to elaborate? Specifically ‘true spirit’? It’s not registering to me at the moment.

The “true spirit” is a reference to Discernment Of Spirits. Our spirits move in different directions, and there are times when your spirit follows the direction of truth and times when it does not. “True spirit” is just what I called it when your spirit follows the truth- you could call it true self vs. false self if you wanted.

Sexuality can be used as evil when we obey the whims of our false self, but when following the the truth our spirits perfect a greater bond with others when we are successfully integrated with our sexuality.

ALSO:

I think it is important that we do not confuse gender with sexuality. They are not the same thing.

 

[St_Francis]

One of the problems with reading things like the CCC is that sometimes something is lost in the translation, and other times we impose our own culture’s meaning on something which actually means something else entirely.

Way back in the 90s, sexual identity was just beginning to refer to one’s sexual orientation in the US. This I suspect that what the CCC is referring to here is not one’s orientation bit one’s sex. So, my “sexual identity” is that of a woman, and my hisband’s is that of a man’s.

Now, in Catholic thinking we would look at the best “form” of one’s sex and strive to achieve that. Women would not strive to attain the “manly” virtues; men would not strive to attain “womanly” virtues.

Otoh, we in the US often think of manly and womenly virtues as extremely separate, bit if we look at Proverbs 31 (iirc), it would not be unwomaly for a woman to engage in business.

Given the mention of complimentarity, I would suggest that what the CCC is saying is that women and men should strive for complementarity in their relations: a recognition of the different ways and virtues of each sex, an encouragement of their development, and allowances made for each.

As an example, I would give the current situation in many US schools: their “culture” so to speak.

Boys are expected to act like girls. If they so much as point a finger out of a fist, they are suspended for “playing guns.” The manner of teaching is oriented towards girls: lots of sitting still, lots of visual and small-muscle work. Those who cannot sublimate their masculine tendencies to move around are medicated.

So I would suggest that the CCC in its comments here is giving the Catholic view in opposition to the world’s current androgynous/feminist impositions rather than discussing one’s sexual impulses.

 

[simpleas]

Are we as a people becoming more accepting of people regardless of their sexual origin?

I know ss and transgender people, some who were once catholic, others not, who just get on with their lives and don’t lord it over everyone to make them accept who they are, and i’ve known others that do like to lord it over everyone.

Why are we so obsessed with our sexual identity, we don’t seem to be able to work ourselves out, or do we just want to control each other?

 

[GEddie]

I am a male human being. That is in the anatomy of the body I live life in every day, and also in my DNA, which however I have not seen.

Such is my “sexual identity.”

It has nothing to do with sexual desires, although that is what post-Y2Knians associate “sexual identity” with.

The sexual identity is an aspect of your human body; not something you should need to figure out.

ICXC NIKA