As a child, what would you do if a parent unknowingly commanded you to lie?

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DarkLight

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I was just remembering a little incident from my childhood. I was a young teenager; my mother had told me I needed to apologize for taking something (and my mother was very fussy about the form of apologies, it had to be “I’m sorry for doing X when I knew that X was wrong”). Trouble was I actually hadn’t taken anything, and I insisted on not apologizing because it would be a lie, though I eventually gave in.

I remember the incident partly because my mother recounted it with a bit of a laugh, that I’d used to think that I didn’t have to because I didn’t think it was right. You know that tone parents take when recounting some silly thing their children did? That was the one. It sort of bugs me…I think children should obey their parents, but also not lie. And it’s not like my mother was intentionally telling me to do something wrong - as far as she knew I was just being a rebellious kid and refusing to apologize.
 
You’ll have to decide whether it’s worth starting a fire just to melt the ice of that memory.
My father took actions and spoke words that were neither justified nor justifiable, and hurt to this day: many’s the time I considered bracing him on the matters but then I stopped and asked myself, is it worth the consequences?
Only you can answer that.
Is it worth what it’ll cost, to make her understand you were not in rebellion, that you were trying to be honest?
Another joker in the deck:
I learned in child abuse classes (back when I was still a lawman) as a maxim that an abusive parent never, ever remembers abusing a child, but an abused child never, ever forgets the abuse.
It sounds like your mother is choosing to remember only her victory over a rebellious child.
If she is amenable, this many years after the fact, to learning what actually happened … like I said earlier … if it’s worth what it will cost you, go for it.
 
When I was a teen, I would have died on the rack before admitting to something I didn’t do, especially if my mom was doing the accusing. I pretty much hated and mistrusted all adults. In my defense, I have a very limited number of good adult role models.
 
Sky_Pilot said:
You’ll have to decide whether it’s worth starting a fire just to melt the ice of that memory.
My father took actions and spoke words that were neither justified nor justifiable, and hurt to this day: many’s the time I considered bracing him on the matters but then I stopped and asked myself, is it worth the consequences?
Only you can answer that.
Is it worth what it’ll cost, to make her understand you were not in rebellion, that you were trying to be honest?
Another joker in the deck:
I learned in child abuse classes (back when I was still a lawman) as a maxim that an abusive parent never, ever remembers abusing a child, but an abused child never, ever forgets the abuse.
It sounds like your mother is choosing to remember only her victory over a rebellious child.
If she is amenable, this many years after the fact, to learning what actually happened … like I said earlier … if it’s worth what it will cost you, go for it.
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Oh I have no intention of bringing it back up again - we have our battles to fight, but a half-remembered incident of a mere human mistake isn’t one of them. I don’t think she was doing anything wrong - from what I remember, the best evidence she had did point to my guilt. I was just wondering, is it worth telling the truth at all costs here, even if you’re going to destroy family harmony and fight your parents?
 
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