As an Atheist, I was used to pretty attractive girls, but now I'm just being fussy

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Ok, so this year, I made my conversion to Catholicism. I spent most of my young adult life, with some girls, who were undoubtedly stunning in physical appearance. But now, as I look for a wife, having discerned time as a priest, I am still very fussy, Not only would I like them to be super pious and love Jesus, but I also want this person to be as beautiful as many of the girls I’ve dated before. I have met plenty of people with superb character, gotten on like a house on fire with them, but just have never been attracted to them. I just feel trapped. Like I’m making things very difficult on myself and being overly fussy. I feel very shallow for this, and realise that I am being just that, but I don’t know what to do. Suggestions?
 
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I think you are probably being challenged in your view of what beauty is.
 
nel said:
I have met plenty of people with superb character, gotten on like a house on fire with them, but just have never been attracted to them.
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There are several different kinds of attraction and attractiveness. Which kind seems to be lacking?

In any case, it seems you just haven’t met the right woman. You can’t hurry love. Be patient.
 
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nel said:
to seminary I go
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Not to be rude, but you’re not going to pass the psychological examinations with the sort of attitudes you are exuding.

It might sound counterintutive but no seminary wants a priest who thinks that there are no hot Catholic women.
 
I know they exist, I just cannot find them. It doesn’t help that I live in a small country, with a small real Catholic population.
 
Can the people who have criticized this young man for being superficial please make allowances for the fact that appearances are a part of beauty? I just think it’s awfully hasty to criticize a person for merely caring about marrying someone who he’s really attracted to.

I would say, however, that sometimes getting to know someone can build an attraction – a physical attraction – that you didn’t see coming in advance.
 
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Prodigal_Son said:
Can the people who have criticized this young man for being superficial please make allowances for the fact that appearances are a part of beauty? I just think it’s awfully hasty to criticize a person for merely caring about marrying someone who he’s really attracted to.

I would say, however, that sometimes getting to know someone can build an attraction – a physical attraction – that you didn’t see coming in advance.
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Well, there’s making allowances and being slightly repulsed by the idea that somehow every single Catholic woman he’s encountered he’s found unattractive.

I think it’s hard not to take that kind of “ugliness of attitude” personally.
 
Well, I’ve met plenty of beautiful Catholic women. So, they are out there.
 
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
Well, there’s making allowances and being slightly repulsed by the idea that somehow every single Catholic woman he’s encountered he’s found unattractive.
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He just said he wasn’t attracted to them physically. I don’t see why that would be something that repulses you. He wasn’t saying something about their objective appearance, but about his subjective experience of them. I know tons of very good looking people that I don’t find attractive.
 
I will admit, though, that the subject heading seems to make a more objective claim.
 
Prodigal_Son said:
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Xanthippe_Voorhees:
Well, there’s making allowances and being slightly repulsed by the idea that somehow every single Catholic woman he’s encountered he’s found unattractive.
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He just said he wasn’t attracted to them physically. I don’t see why that would be something that repulses you. He wasn’t saying something about their objective appearance, but about his subjective experience of them. I know tons of very good looking people that I don’t find attractive.
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I guess I was looking at his implications
nel said:
Not only would I like them to be super pious and love Jesus, but I also want this person to be as beautiful as many of the girls I’ve dated before.
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Yes, this is about personal attraction but he is implying that he has found no Catholc girls (women, I’d hope) that are as beautiful…or even attractive. I think that this implication is somewhat offensive.

You are right. The subject header is much more objective and doesn’t make me feel a bit demened as the OP does.
 
I personally don’t think you are being shallow…many may disagree but I get it - you want a woman with faith but also want to see her as the most beautiful person you’ve ever met. I think she just hasn’t come around yet. I believe you mentioned that you live in a small town - then I suggest you travel around a bit more, get out of town more, visit different places, different churches. For all you know, the one for you could be in Wichita, Kansas, San Jose, CA or Waco, TX. Get out of your comfort zone and maybe you’ll find her.
 
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Very beautiful people are sometimes a bit shallow, as they have levered their attractiveness to achieve success. Not everyone, of course. My daughter is gorgeous, but flaky & not interested in spirituality at all.
IMO, there’s nothing sexier than holiness.
You just need to make lots of friends and eventually perhaps one of them will grow on you. Keep in mind God’s timing is not ours (and He has a sense of humor).
 
I agree that it isn’t shallow for beauty to matter.
mickeyboggs said:
…but also want to see her as the most beautiful person you’ve ever met…
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This is going too far though. Would you insist that the woman you marry be the smartest person you’ve ever met? The funniest? See where I’m going with this? Beauty can matter, but saying that the woman you marry must be the MOST beautiful is making beauty an idol.
 
I see your point. I think what I meant by most beautiful was not just on the outside. I meant the whole package of inward and outward beauty. I do agree they don’t have to be the most outwardly attractive person you’ve ever met.
 
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