Imagine if we lived in a world where the idea that sex was purely for marriage, and not everybody is required to get married, and there’s nothing weird about the single life.
Oh, you mean the world I lived in when I told my friends that I wanted to get married but remain a virgin my entire life and they told me no one would marry me or that he’d cheat on me? Then my mom affirmed this and after failing to help me understand why ANY woman would want sex, she explained to me how sex was a requirement for marriage and that sexually refusing your spouse was a sin? And any time I told my parents I didn’t relate to this desire for sex, I was told “you’ll feel differently when you’re older” or “when you find the right one.” Not to mention how confusing chastity talks were to me.
We need to recognize that however limiting labels are, stereotypes about male and female sexual urges put people in a more restricting box. We often beat around the bush on the topic of sexual sin. Understanding our sexual urges and others helps us be more loving to our neighbor.
That’s just Bogart’s definition.
I’m not bound to agree with him.
You said “clinical” definition, though, as if you were referring to an authoritative source rather than looking briefly at the discussions about it and jumping to your own conclusions about what the experience may be like based AROUND your presumptions of the world.
they are either extremely immature, or have some stunting of their social development
Unlike homosexuality, asexuality is not considered to be exclusively about being “born that way.” It’s a label people ascribe to themselves to avoid sharing personal details of their life. It’s a way to just say “Yeah, I’m not a very sexual person. Sex doesn’t appeal to me much. End of subject.” Labels change. It isn’t your business as to why they’re that way.
The important thing is recognizing that the culture has a tendency to shame, bully, and even coerce asexuals into sex. This is especially true in Christian and Catholic circles which have been preoccupied with viewing marriage as a remedy for sexual temptation. Afterall, most chastity talks presume women are somewhere on the asexual spectrum (demisexual or Gray-A sexual). Chastity advice to women often orients around the man’s sexual temptations rather than her own. This gives her a rather codependent view of sexual morality.
Modesty is not an issue that is the sole concern of women. Modest and chaste behavior is about refraining from seducing each other. Whether you sexually respond to someone is distinct from whether they are intending to seduce you. Sometimes seduction is mutual. Sometimes it’s one-sided. And a rule list of what behaviors are unchaste and what clothing is immodest is relative to culture, intention, situation, etc.
By recognizing that the asexual spectrum exists, we can avoid stereotyping men and women, recognizing that our temptations are not determined exclusively by our sex, and better discern our vocation and what loving your neighbor in regards to sexual expression means.
