Ashamed of praying in public

[SuperLuigi]

So, it was not a sin and I am not obliged?

If you are scrupulous, you are not obliged to be sure. “Doubts and obligations do not bind the scrupulous conscience”----that’s a commandment in the Liguori publication you posted—remember?

Even if you are not scrupulous, I’m failing to see how you would be obliged.

Certainly, no mortal sin.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

Yeah, we are teenagers, we are immature. There are some immature adult too, you know. Don’t worry, I’ll try to start doing it.

Yeah, but most teens don’t like being told they’re immature, and don’t like being made to feel like a supid kid. So I still think that a response that implies “you’re being immature and I’m above that nonsense” will make your point well enough. Also remember, that part of that immaturity is teasing when you actually admire, or not having the guts to say that you admire something when you do. So it may be that there are teens that are actually impressed by you, and will be more impressed by your ability to say, “whatever” to it. even if they don’t tell you. Even the ones who start the teasing will eventually realize that they were stupid for doing that, and you were the bigger person.

 

[tiagolc]

If you are scrupulous, you are not obliged to be sure. “Doubts and obligations do not bind the scrupulous conscience”----that’s a commandment in the Liguori publication you posted—remember?

Even if you are not scrupulous, I’m failing to see how you would be obliged.

Certainly, no mortal sin.

Yes, I remember I posted that . I didn’t remember that exact line, though.

 

[tiagolc]

Yeah, but most teens don’t like being told they’re immature, and don’t like being made to feel like a supid kid. So I still think that a response that implies “you’re being immature and I’m above that nonsense” will make your point well enough. Also remember, that part of that immaturity is teasing when you actually admire, or not having the guts to say that you admire something when you do. So it may be that there are teens that are actually impressed by you, and will be more impressed by your ability to say, “whatever” to it. even if they don’t tell you. Even the ones who start the teasing will eventually realize that they were stupid for doing that, and you were the bigger person.

I will try, don’t worry, I will try.

 

[tiagolc]

I think I found the origin of this “shame”. Since most of the people I eat with are non practicing Catholics, praying before meals shows the difference and I end up being a “holier than thou” guy. That’s why I may get mocked or be discriminated. I actually never cared for insults, maybe I just don’t like being the “holier than thou” guy.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

Don’t beat yourself up over this too much. My point was not that you need to go out and do it now, but that maybe this would be helpful for you if you’re looking for something else to focus on, rather than focusing on the people who will make you feel bad.

And I don’t remember if it has been mentioned, but it is not necessary to pray in an obvious way. One can pray silently, with no body movements, and it is still prayer. Sure it is ideal to not be self conscious, but if all you do is go quiet for 5 seconds while someone else is talking, no one has to know that you just said Grace, but God hears your prayer. Your prayer will please Him.

 

[tiagolc]

Don’t beat yourself up over this too much. My point was not that you need to go out and do it now, but that maybe this would be helpful for you if you’re looking for something else to focus on, rather than focusing on the people who will make you feel bad.

And I don’t remember if it has been mentioned, but it is not necessary to pray in an obvious way. One can pray silently, with no body movements, and it is still prayer. Sure it is ideal to not be self conscious, but if all you do is go quiet for 5 seconds while someone else is talking, no one has to know that you just said Grace, but God hears your prayer. Your prayer will please Him.

The thing is that, when I did that, I felt I was chickening out.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

The thing is that, when I did that, I felt I was chickening out.

Yeah, I know the feeling. But remember, you were still praying, and that counts! It’s hard to not be self conscious, and to really focus on the prayer - whether you’re praying in an obvious way, or being discreet, you are going to be thinking more about what people are thinking or if you’re doing it right. I guess that comes with the territory of scruples? I don’t think I’m scrupulous, but I do over-analyze things, and I struggle with this too. Really though, for a teen in “hostile territory,” you’re doing great. God is pleased with your prayer, I’m sure of it. And someday, it won’t be so stressful for you to pray more openly, and He will be really pleased with that too.

Just curious, when you speak of praying in public in an obvious way, are you saying you should be speaking the prayers out loud? What I imagine as obviously praying, is looking down at your lap, praying silently, then making the sign of the cross, still looking down. Then looking up and getting into the conversation, or starting conversation on some non-prayer related topic.

 

[tiagolc]

Yeah, I uknow the feeling. But remember, you were still praying, and that counts! It’s hard to not be self conscious, and to really focus on the prayer - whether you’re praying in an obvious way, or being discreet, you are going to be thinking more about what people are thinking or if you’re doing it right. I guess that comes with the territory of scruples? I don’t think I’m scrupulous, but I do over-analyze things, and I struggle with this too. Really though, for a teen in “hostile territory,” you’re doing great. God is pleased with your prayer, I’m sure of it. And someday, it won’t be so stressful for you to pray more openly, and He will be really pleased with that too.

Just curious, when you speak of praying in public in an obvious way, are you saying you should be speaking the prayers out loud? What I imagine as obviously praying, is looking down at your lap, praying silently, then making the sign of the cross, still looking down. Then looking up and getting into the conversation, or starting conversation on some non-prayer related topic.

I meant making the Sign of the Cross . See what I mean? and what I meant with being scrupulous is that I notice I do a silly thing, over-think it, think it is a mortal sin , get obsesed thinking that it was a doubtful sin, remembering that they don’t count, think I am trying to trick myself into that, remember the website I posted, not trusting it, ending up either in confession or not caring anymore.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

I meant making the Sign of the Cross . See what I mean? and what I meant with being scrupulous is that I notice I do a silly thing, over-think it, think it is a mortal sin , get obsesed thinking that it was a doubtful sin, remembering that they don’t count, think I am trying to trick myself into that, remember the website I posted, not trusting it, ending up either in confession or not caring anymore.

Don’t feel embarrassed. It’s not common for people to be comfortable making the sign of the cross in public, and much less common for teens - even believers. I don’t want to discourage you from working towards being more confident in your prayer, and I don’t mean to say that your age should be an excuse not to grow spiritually, but given your situation and your age, and your inclination to scruple, I really think that you are doing just fine, even when you don’t make the sign of the cross. You’ll get there. You are maturing, and in a few years, what other people think will be less important to you. And your peers are maturing - in a few years, your peers won’t care if you make the sign of the cross before you eat. It really will get easier. Hey, I’m not saying you shouldn’t go for it. But meanwhile, remember that your prayers are pleasing to God, and just keep praying. I’ll pray for you to be at peace with this situation.

 

[tiagolc]

Don’t feel embarrassed. It’s not common for people to be comfortable making the sign of the cross in public, and much less common for teens - even believers. I don’t want to discourage you from working towards being more confident in your prayer, and I don’t mean to say that your age should be an excuse not to grow spiritually, but given your situation and your age, and your inclination to scruple, I really think that you are doing just fine, even when you don’t make the sign of the cross. You’ll get there. You are maturing, and in a few years, what other people think will be less important to you. And your peers are maturing - in a few years, your peers won’t care if you make the sign of the cross before you eat. It really will get easier. Hey, I’m not saying you shouldn’t go for it. But meanwhile, remember that your prayers are pleasing to God, and just keep praying. I’ll pray for you to be at peace with this situation.

Thanks for the answers and the support! This website has been very useful so far.