Ask a Priest Anything...about Confession!

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I am a convert, and I struggle with this thought. I don’t know if my protestant background causes this or not? Anyways. If I go to confession about once a month and if my venial sins are forgiven during Mass, (also assuming no mortal sin has been committed) what do I confess? Just anything from the last week after Mass? I struggle with the idea of bringing up sins that I’ve already been forgiven. I can’t get an answer from anyone that helps me, because I want to use the grace of confession, but even with an examination, I don’t know exactly what I should do.
You can still confess your venial sins. It’s a good devotional practice that can help you grow in humility and to work on those areas. It is true that objectively they are forgiven just by using holy water, saying an act of contrition, or receiving the Eucharist. But it can also be helpful to bring them up in confession, if for no other reason than accountability.
 
Father I know this can sound kind of silly but sometimes I think why not to offer a chance for confession once in a while in public spaces in which there are everyday a lot of people including lapsed Catholics (for example inside a mall, an airport, a popular park etc)? Maybe around Lent or Advent?
I’ve given this some thought. A parish near me is actually going to have confessions during rush hour the week before Christmas, since it sits near a main thoroughfare. And I’m giving some thought myself to going down to the mall on Black Friday and sitting in the food court with a book and a purple stole.
 
I only one time had a priest not have me say an act of contrition. My understanding is that Confession is still valid. I’m not sure why this priest skipped it. I was the only one there at the time so it wasn’t a time issue. What are your thoughts on a priest not requesting an act of contrition?
It is still valid. You’d have to ask that priest why he skipped it. I don’t know why anyone skips it. I don’t about 90% of the time, unless it’s evident to me that the person has no clue what it is and I’m pressed for time.
Also I heard we should pray for the priest before we go to Confession. Are there specific reasons for this?
The same reason you should pray for your priests at any other time. It’s not always an easy job.
 
From what I’ve read, (which I need to do more reading) confession used to be public around the first several hundred years of the church. And when Constantine took over it became private because well, he’s the emperor. What’s the justification for us to continue to do it in private. How do we know that’s the right way to go?
I don’t know that it had anything to do with Constantine. From what I recall from my Church History classes, private confession was a later development, starting with Irish monks and spreading to the continent from there. The justification for continuing to do it is that the Church, having been given authority from Jesus, can regulate the practice of the sacraments. There are very, very good reasons not to have confession in public. You think people don’t go to confession now, imagine if we required it to be done publicly, with lengthy public penances. I’d never have to hear another confession. I don’t want to go in public, and I’m sure neither do you. With the internet age putting so much of what used to be private out in the open. it’s nice to have at least one area of our lives that stays locked away forever.

The chief reason for the seal of confession is so that once you’ve been forgiven, your sins can’t come back to get you. Jesus is not the accuser, the devil is.
Did St. Peter take confessions? I know Christ gave the apostles the authority to forgive sins. Which makes sense to have confessions the way we do. I will continue to go to confession and we teach our kids to do so as well. It’s our weekly family thing. Just curious to know how did the apostles take confession as well?
I’m sure that the apostles absolved sins. They had the power to do so, and they traveled around engaging in the ministry entrusted to them. So it would be hard to imagine that they didn’t. I can’t picture the scenario: “Hey, Saint Peter, could you hear my confession?” “Oh, sorry, Billy, confession won’t be invented for another three hundred years. Have a nice millennium!”
 
After listing sins in confession to the priest, does one have to make the following statement prior to absolution, “I am sorry for these sins and all my past sins”?
It’s a good way to tell the priest you’re finished, but it’s not required.

Again, read my earlier post about how the bar is low and we’re not scrutinizing wording.
 
If you get a very simple and generic confession do you usually have certain advice to give that you thought of beforehand
 
What would you like for new Catholics about confession? Also, how do I allow my parents to understand the meaning of Confession? We have only been Catholics for a few years now (6 years for me and 4 years for my parents)
New Catholics just need to know how to go to confession, and make sure they continue to do so! I hear so many stories of converts who join the Church at RCIA and immediately fall away, for any number of reasons. Keep at it! And the biggest thing anyone should know is not to be afraid of confession! We hear everything; by the time I had been a priest for about a month I’d heard everything I was ever going to hear. Nothing shocks me anymore, and the only thing that bothers me is when people come in and front off about how awesome and pious they are. We hear everything, we remember almost nothing, and honestly, confession is not terribly exciting for the priest–it’s the same dozen sins over and over (not saying that anyone should get creative and try to mix it up…). The exciting part is knowing that I get to dispense God’s mercy and reconcile someone to the Church.
 
That’s awesome father! God bless you.
 
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How does the priest determine what penance to assign?
Each priest is different. For me, I try to give SMART penances:

Specific (you know exactly what it is)
Measurable (you know when you’ve done it)
Attainable (you are able to do it)
Relevant (not as important, see below)
Timely (you can do it in a reasonable timeframe).

I know some priests like to get cute and try to “make the punishment fit the crime,” and sometimes it’s warranted to give a more involved penance for more heinous sins. But the point of penance is not punishment so much as it is to aid in the person’s healing. I try to give you something that you can do within five minutes of walking out of the confessional. I might encourage other prayers or devotions that will be more involved, but as for the penance, I tend to keep it light. Rarely do I give more than three or five Hail Marys; occasionally I will assign the chaplet or a decade of the rosary. But I want to make it easy for people to finish their penance. I suffered long under priests who liked to assign “do something nice for someone.” So what I would do is step out of confession, and nicely pray for the conversion of that priest.
 
I would like to know why an act of contrition is not made during Confession nowadays. When I have asked in Confession when I should make an act of contrition the priest tells me to do it after Confession in the Church before I leave.
Mileage may vary, but I always ask the penitent to do it, except for the circumstance I’ve already commented about. I can’t speak for why any other priest doesn’t do what he’s supposed to do, but I always ask for it, and my priest friends to whom I confess do as well.
 
Yes, quite often my advice is the same. Unless it’s a more involved situation, and I have more time, I usually say the same kinds of things over and over, if I give any counsel at all. Very often, in a large parish, you have a long line and a short amount of time, and so counsel isn’t really warranted.
 
Others have already given you good theological and apologetical information here, so I will fill in a practical bit.

If you just confess your sins directly to God, without the physical act of saying them out loud to another person, it’s much, much harder to be accountable. If you have to say your sins out loud to another human being, it can often deter you from doing them–whether preventing you from doing them to begin with, or preventing them in the future, knowing how nerve-wracking it can be to have done so.

God doesn’t need a middleman to forgive our sins. He can give us his grace however he pleases. This is the way he has decided is best for us to receive it, though. The priest has been given authority to act in the person of Christ, to exercise the ministry of the Church in this way. It helps keep us accountable, and helps us know we are forgiven–the words of absolution are, well, absolute. We don’t have to wonder.
 
Father, when someone comes in and confesses a lengthy list of all sorts of sins, sometimes adding a few cobbled together (and sometimes not very coherent) explanatory sentences for some of the sins, how do you make sense of it all? Do you focus on what you believe are the most significant sins confessed and not think too much about the others?
 
  • How often do you ask for clarification?
Rarely, only if the person has said something that could mean a variety of things. For instance, if you said “I did stuff I wasn’t supposed to do,” I usually ask for clarification, because that’s literally every sin ever. If you say “sexual sin,” I might ask for clarification as to whether it’s alone or with another, or what kind of sexual sins, since there are different ones. If you said you stole, I might ask you to tell me from whom and what you stole–there’s a difference between stealing my paperclip and stealing my car.
  • How much of confession is a conversation?
It depends on a number of factors. The routine confession is not conversational at all–the person confesses, I assign penance and give absolution. In more involved situations, there will be more involved conversation, if time permits. On weekdays, where I have a limited window to hear confessions before I need to get ready for Mass, I am less conversational; on weekends, where confession time is scheduled to end at such-and-such an hour, but in reality it goes until I’m finished since I’m not saying the Mass, I will take more time.
  1. Has understanding the nature of sins allowed you to give better advice to the penitent? If so, how?
Sure it has. Obviously, the prudent thing to do is speak from experience without speaking of experience, to talk about it like I know what I’m talking about without telling you how I know about it. But I suppose there are two ways to know the nature of sin–one is study, and the other is experience. Obviously both are helpful. The thing that’s more helpful to me, and the reason scrupulosity is one of my personal crusades, especially on here, is that I have at times struggled with anxiety, so I know how to help people discern their thoughts.
 
Father, when someone comes in and confesses a lengthy list of all sorts of sins, sometimes adding a few cobbled together (and sometimes not very coherent) explanatory sentences for some of the sins, how do you make sense of it all? Do you focus on what you believe are the most significant sins confessed and not think too much about the others?
I look for the common thread. There is always one commonality to all sins on the list, in that they were all committed by the same person, so I try to figure out what might be the reason why, or at the very least I point out to them how the sins are related. Sometimes people can be so mired in their sins that they can’t see the bigger picture.
 
What if we don’t know how many times we committed a particular sin?
If it’s a venial sin, don’t worry about it. If it’s a mortal sin, approximate, speak in generalities. Do the best you can.
 
Father, how does one communicate in the confessional that one wishes to confess again Sins already confessed and forgiven, in order to correctly let the priest know you haven’t done these since last confession but for reasons of devotion e.g. The first Saturday promise, or to keep the correct conditions to gain an indulgence for a previous Sin, that you wish to confess them additionally.
You don’t really have to convey that you’re making the confession for devotional reasons, though many people do. And I would think it unwise, even for devotional reasons, to rehash old sins. Surely you can come up with at least one or two sins you’ve committed since your last confession.
 
  • Do you mind if someone catches you in public and asks to make a confession?
Not at all, though it doesn’t happen as often as I would have thought it did. I get flagged down at the hospital to anoint someone other than the one I was called to anoint far more often. The only times I really get flagged down in public to hear confessions are either at Church events where 95% of the attendees are Catholic, or else on campus at the local Catholic university.
  • How do you handle confession with people you employ in the parish. If someone in marriage and family ministry confesses infidelity does it affect your positioning of that employee?
I don’t mind if employees come to me in confession, and I treat them as I would anyone else. I can’t say for certain if any of them have, to be honest. And in the hypothetical you propose, I wouldn’t be able to act on that outside the confessional, of course. If I knew it was that person, I could encourage them to rethink their ministry, if I felt that was warranted, but only during the confession itself.
 
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