Ask a Priest Anything...about Confession!

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edward_george1 said:
What is it you’d like to know about confession?
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How often is it that you have someone simply freeze up?
They go to confession, but once in and kneeling they simply forget everything.
What do you do when that happens?
 
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How do you do confession for the first time, with years and years of sin?
 
I just ask them to reflect on their time away and tell me what it is that they feel most in need of healing and forgiveness for - in other words, what troubles them the most.
 
vz71 said:
How often is it that you have someone simply freeze up?
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I haven’t had it happen with adults (language difficulties are more of an issue) but it’s not uncommon with children - especially at their first reconciliation. The “silent child” scenario was another memorable experience from praticuum!

With children, I usually just start by asking if they always do what their parents tell them. Another way is to ask if their have brothers or sisters and, if so, if they always get on with them (sibling rivalry is not without its benefits at times!)
 
It also helps if there are sheets in the confessional with what the penitent says. I have gone to confession abroad and there was no sheet and of course my mind went blank as there are some differences in what the penitents say in different languages.

My parish (at least 60-70 languages if not more) has printed the order of the most commonly used languages on different coloured papers. The priest might say: “Use the green sheet.” if the person speaks Spanish and not that good Swedish yet. Sins are said in a common language that both speak.
 
Maybe this is a strange question but do you feel something spiritual during confession? Is it an experience to be the intermediary for Christ for a few minutes at a time, or does it just feel like a regular conversation?
 
Most people can probably answer this. I was told by a seminarian that all a person is required to tell the priest in confession is “species and number”. I know what number means obviously, but what is meant by species?
 
If the penitent doesn’t know an act of contrition what one do you guide him or her through? Before I had it down and if there was no paper in the booth with an act of contrition displayed one priest said let’s do a real short one which was a sentence or two. I realize it’s up the priest and I suppose they are all equally valid but just curious.
 
I’ve experienced that. One priest was strict and scolded and chastised me for several minutes before given several decades of the rosary for penance. I’m not looking to be pampered but this was a bit much. He’s usually the only one at this small parish holding Confessions on Saturday when I go, so I’ve been going to different parishes to confess since then.
 
Have either of you both @edward_george1 or @InThePew had a “walk out”? Somebody that got so upset with your advice that they simply decided to walk out without requesting absolution…not that I’ve ever done this or am recommending this…also not that I’d expect that to happen based off of the wise posts you both make…just curious though?

Do we as penitents have that option? To simply walk out if we don’t feel comfortable?
 
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Do you ever get irritated or angry at what you hear?

If so, what is it that irritates or angers?
 
I guide them to speak in generalities, since the can’t possibly remember how many times they might have committed any serious sins. It’s the one time where the advice to “confess sins, not tendencies” actually doesn’t hold, since the only thing you really could confess is tendencies, save for fairly severe particular sins.
 
I haven’t really had it happen quite like that, though I get a good number of people who just have no idea how to go to confession. I’m not talking people who have been away from the sacrament for years and forgot, I mean people who go every few months who just aren’t aware of the “format.”
 
I don’t really feel anything in particular, any more than a doctor or a nurse feels something special by doing what they do. Sometimes I come out of hearing confessions feeling very accomplished, but usually, it’s just another task among many in my day. It’s only upon deeper reflection that I appreciate what has gone on.

See my earlier post in this thread about “feelings,” with reference to CCC 1768.
 
I usually have them do the Jesus Prayer, particularly if they’re taking a long time to remember it. What’s funny to me is when they say they don’t know it, and then I point out to them that it’s on a sheet right in front of their faces.
 
I have had people yell at me because of the counsel I gave them, and I’ve had people disagree with what I was trying to tell them. But I’ve never had anyone walk out before absolution, at least not in anger. I’ve had people who had no idea how the “format” of confession worked, and I’ll give them penance and tell them to say the Act of Contrition, and they’ll say “thank you!” and get up and start to leave.
 
Usually, if I’m irritated, it’s nothing to do with the penitent, it’s because I’m tired/anxious/ramped up from running around. There’s exactly one thing that anyone says that truly irritates me, and that’s when they confess one, fairly light sin, and then they give me a litany of all the good works they’re doing. You don’t go to confession to tell me how good you are, you go to confession to tell God what sins you need forgiving.
 
Thank you Father. I always feel a weight lifted off me, and had always wondered if the priest felt something as well. I appreciate it.
 
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