Ask a Priest Anything...about Confession!

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Do you know of any priests who get claustrophobic sitting in the booth for an extended period of time? You said you are usually busy with penitents so it might not apply. There’s one Church that has Confession for an hour and a half on a weekday. Sometimes I’m at the Church for adoration and benediction and only a few people trickle into the booth the whole time. I think I’d get claustrophobic being in there all that time but I suppose priests get used to it. I wonder if they are praying, reading, or just sitting there thinking?
 
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Thanks Father…this makes sense.

Can we as penitents walk out before absolution? Is there a situation or a type of situation where you might even recommend this (pretty drastic) action?
 
jack63 said:
Can we as penitents walk out before absolution? Is there a situation or a type of situation where you might even recommend this (pretty drastic) action?
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I’m not sure why you would. Why would you need to walk out before absolution? Absolution is the whole point.
 
For example…I read a post here on CAF a while ago where you posted too I think where a priest asked a penitent to break up with her boyfriend before he could give absolution, and then told her she couldn’t go give her confession to another priest in an effort get different advice.

While reading that thread, I just thought “Why is this woman even sitting there listening to this? This woman should simply have got up and walked out”. That would be one example. There may be others.
 
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Not to overly focus on a tough thread…I read this woman’s experience, and I could not figure out why she didn’t simply walk out of confession.
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Absolution Withheld Liturgy and Sacraments
Just had a strange situation occur and could use some (name removed by moderator)ut. My boyfriend and I have been struggling with impurity and nearing fornication for some time; I have confessed it multiple times, and we keep falling into the same sins. I confessed this to a new priest today. After some inquiry, he stated that I needed to remove the occasion of sin (which I agree with), but then stated that the only way to do so would be to break up with my boyfriend for 3-6 months. And, until I…
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Is there easy logic for understanding mortal sin? I’m a convert to the faith and its difficult for me to draw the line between mortal and venial sins. I find it very easy to argue the case for why most sins are mortal and vice versa.
 
So @edward_george1 … to perhaps make the questions more manageable. Let’s say somebody’s absolution is withheld…generally speaking
  1. What should the penitent do?
  2. What shouldn’t the penitent do?
  3. What should the priest do?
  4. What shouldn’t the priest do?
  5. If the priest does something you understand he should not do, how should the penitent react (including just walking out of confession)?
These seem like reasonable fair questions…
 
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This might be hard to describe without going into personal details. There is a sin I fall into: I don’t like that I do it, but only because I know the church teaches it is a sin. Though I try, I can’t get myself to feel what I think of as “real remorse”. I guess I regret the act, but I don’t feel sad or the same shameful feeling I get with every other sin. I’m not sure the will to stay away from it is truly there, since I was incorrectly raised to think it was ok.

The question: Do you need to be penitent of all sins in order to receive any absolution? It feels strange to let these sins I’m truly sorry for sit on my soul and accumulate while I wait (and pray) to get the proper attitude towards this one sin.
 
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nfinke said:
Do you need to be penitent of all sins in order to receive any absolution? It feels strange to let these sins I’m truly sorry for sit on my soul and accumulate while I wait (and pray) to get the proper attitude towards this one sin.
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Without presuming on Father’s answer, I think there has been a related answer above.
edward_george1 said:
I hear a lot of talk on this forum about having requisite intentions and whatnot, and the funny thing is, those intentions are very, very, very minimal. If you’re in the confessional, confessing sins, then I assume your intention and I absolve you. It’s not some challenge or test you have to pass so as to deserve absolution. Only very rarely have I denied someone absolution, and it isn’t because they didn’t say the words right or whatever.
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That one stuck in my memory because it answered questions I’ve had myself and also seen here.

HTH
 
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edward_george1 said:
Well, it’s pretty simple. If you are culpable such that it is a mortal sin, confess it. If you are not, you don’t have to. If you are in doubt, ask.
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Grave matter is easy to figure out, but how would you determine knowledge or consent?
 
1.Can non-catholics be in the state of mortal sin ?
2.While confessing sins of flesh is saying ,Indulging in impure thoughts" sufficient ? Or should I be more specific about their nature (for instance unnatural, gay etc). Same question with viewing pornography.
 
That leads to questions for the Fathers. Is not consent the hardest to determine? Knowledge seems to be more straight forward? If the person knows it’s a grave sin then they are 2/3 of the way to mortal sin - grave sin and knowledge. If not sure if the sin is grave then why not confess it and get guidance. So if it is known that it’s grave but consent is undetermined or if not sure if it’s grave, is not the policy in both cases to confess the sin?
 
DominikaPL said:
Can non-catholics be in the state of mortal sin ?
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Yes.
vz71 said:
And if they can, how do they obtain forgiveness?
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Perfect contrition, no admixture of fear of hell or the loss of heaven. Just pure sorrow that we offended God and no thought for ourselves. Or better yet and easier still become Catholic and be cleansed through baptism or confession.
 
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By “kind” do you mean specifics or just to separate sins into groups of kinds of sin e.g. venial and mortal. Obviously I’ve never heard how other people do it.

I would have thought just venial vs mortal is far to vague. I always thought you had to confess specific sins, am I wrong?
 
MockSock said:
By “kind” do you mean specifics or just to separate sins into groups of kinds of sin e.g. venial and mortal.
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I’m not a priest but I suppose the kind should be confessed with just enough detail so that both you and the priest know the seriousness of the sin.

So “I stole” would not be enough detail. You should say what you stole and, because it harms another, from whom – a box of crackers from the store, a teacher’s laptop computer, someone’s life savings.
 
The essential words for absolution are “I absolve you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” I have received absolution with only these words many times and it creates doubt on my part because the formula is supposed to be the longer version.

One of the places I go to for confession is a huge church that serves a large congregation and the line for confession is often long, so the priests may be doing it for expediency so they can hear more confessions.

Aren’t they still supposed to say the longer version?
 
nfinke said:
The question: Do you need to be penitent of all sins in order to receive any absolution? It feels strange to let these sins I’m truly sorry for sit on my soul and accumulate while I wait (and pray) to get the proper attitude towards this one sin.
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The Cathechism separates between perfect contrition and imperfect contrition. Both suffices. Perfect contrition is when you seek forgiveness for your sins because of love for God and desire to do His will. Imperfect contrition is when you are seeking forgiveness because of fear of losing your salvation, etc.

So as long as you accept that what you´ve done is wrong, and are willing to try to start anew, you don´t need to feel anything. A lot of times I don´t emotionally feel sorry for my sins, but I know it´s wrong and I wanna be forgiven and try to do better. That suffices.
 
  1. The penitent should figure out what, if anything, he needs to do so as not to have absolution withheld in the future. If it is justly withheld, then he should get his life right and change what’s preventing him from being absolved. If it is unjustly withheld, he should find another confessor.
  2. It is understandable to be upset or frustrated, but what the penitent shouldn’t do is to vent and gossip and otherwise act on that anger in a negative way. Talking it out, working out what to do, these are helpful things. Dwelling on such anger so that one even begins to be tempted to walk away from the sacrament forever does not help.
  3. Depends on why the person is to be denied absolution. If the conditions exist that would lead to the priest choosing that, he should choose that. If not, he should not. If he denies absolution unjustly, I would hope he realizes this at some point and repents of it.
  4. See above.
  5. That all depends on what it is.
 
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