Ask a Priest Anything...about Confession!

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I would say probably not. They didn’t know at the time. It might help to bring them peace if they brought it up again, but if the person tends toward scrupulosity besides, and has made a habit of confessing old sins, this would be ill-advised. For most people, though, it might be helpful.

I think it’s a case-by-case thing, as with everything else, as to when to confess past sins. If you are certain you have not confessed something in the past, confess it. If you aren’t sure, and it just sort of pops up, mention it. If you were ignorant of how to do it right, as in the above case, and it’s bothering you, bring it up, but leave it there once you have. If you keep being nagged over and over by the fear that you didn’t confess something right, then confess it once to get it over with, but don’t do it again, no matter how bad it nags you.

There have been times when a past sin has come back to me, even one I might have confessed, that I brought to confession and found healing from the pain it had caused. There was one time that years after the fact, I realized how sinful something was that I had never thought to bring to confession, and it brought me great healing to bring it back up. This was so much so that I had even thought of that bad thing I’d done and the person I’d hurt, and rehearsed how I was going to apologize for it when I saw that person (someone I see rarely), and then I confessed it, and then forgot all about it until months after I’d seen the person. And it doesn’t bother me as much as it had before.

So a good rule of thumb would be:
  1. If you might be scrupulous, don’t confess past sins, especially without guidance from a spiritual director.
  2. If you aren’t scrupulous or don’t seem to be tending toward it, you can for your own peace of mind, but you don’t have to.
 
I would have no way of knowing, honestly. I just hear about it in the confessional, and as I’ve said before, I don’t recognize voices nor remember what I’m told, so I can’t really track someone’s progress, as it were. Maybe if someone came back and told me, whether in confession or out, that I had helped them somehow, that would be an example of it. I know I’ve had people tell me that the advice I gave or the insight I provided helped them get over their fear of going to confession or of confessing once they were there.
 
I’m not surprised nor intimidated by most things, at least when it comes to what might happen in interacting with people in ministerial situations. I expect that this sort of thing will happen, so when it does, it doesn’t bother me.
 
Thank you Father for your answer. You wrote you had people tell you that the advice you gave them in confession helped them.
This is my question: is it appropriate to thank the priest for his good advice in confession outside of the confessional or are we not supposed to bring those things up outside of the confessional? E.g. can I write my priest a small note to thank him for his kindness and very good advice during confession and how this has helped me or would this be inappropriate?
 
If a spouse tells the other spouse “I dont love you” does that need to be confessed?
 
Did you tell your spouse this? Under what circumstances? Why did you do it? All of these things matter and will affect what and how you confess something like that, if at all.
 
ashistrash66 said:
Is it possible to confess in a different language? Asking from a conversation that came up with my Spanish teacher.
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In addition to Father @edward_george1’s helpful and interesting answer, there is also the following from CAF in 2016 where @FrDavid96 and Fr @Don_Ruggero answered for the case of the priest not knowing the penitent’s language at all. They affirmed that the confession is valid and, what’s more, that the penitent should not later re-confess in their own language, after some laity had come forward with that advice.

Is a Confession Valid if the Priest Doesn’t Know Your Language?

To save you scrolling a long thread, the firm and clear answers at posts 26, 51 and 54.
 
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Yeah, I think you need to focus on the second half of my answer more than on the first. I’m not sure because you haven’t given me enough details, and, frankly, given the second half of my answer, you shouldn’t. If you are having trouble in your marriage or trouble discerning what a sin is, speak to your priest.
 
I’ve heard confessions in a language I didn’t understand on several occasions. I’m not talking a language that’s related to one I know so that I might catch a few words here and there (i.e. if someone confessed to me in Portuguese, I’d be able to understand some of it). I’m talking someone confessing in a decidedly non-Indo-European language that I had possible frame of reference for understanding. I assign penance and ask them to say their act of contrition, and I absolve them.
 
Thanks. Pray about that question.

A marriage vow is a promise to love your spouse.

I dont think you gave a wrong answer. ✌️
 
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edward_george1 said:
We have to want to be forgiven to be forgiven
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There has to have been a situation where a person wants forgiveness but can not get out of the situation they are in, example a marriage… wht happens then?
edward_george1 said:
feelings don’t have anything to do with i
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I’ve heard that before, when it comes to things spiritual. That you can’t trust you’re feeling… cause they might not be real.

So if you can’t go by how you feel when you pray, when your remorsful, sorry, repentant, happy, sad, enlightened, feel amazement when it comes to God how do you know it’s real?
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And here was my other question:

I understand the only unforgivable sin is Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.

I really didn’t understand what that mean… kind of figured it was cursing the Holy Spirit, turning your back on it or simply saying it doesn’t exist… but in class today someone gave me another definition. He said blasphemy can be defined as thinking God or the Holy Spirit isn’t powerful enough to forgive us or that our sin it too great to be forgiven… never thought that but… here are my questions.

* how do you define blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, which is the only unforgivable sin?
* do you believe there is a difference between thinking your sin is too  *great*  to be forgiven from thinking you don’t  *deserve*  forgiveness?
* if you don’t believe you deserve forgiveness, will forgiveness be given if you are truly sorry for you sin?

hope this wasn’t already asked cause I didn’t read the whole tread… if it was just point me to the post that will help.

Thank You.
 
annad347 said:
There has to have been a situation where a person wants forgiveness but can not get out of the situation they are in, example a marriage… wht happens then?
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Are you speaking hypothetically, or of your actual situation?
annad347 said:
I’ve heard that before, when it comes to things spiritual. That you can’t trust you’re feeling… cause they might not be real.

So if you can’t go by how you feel when you pray, when your remorsful, sorry, repentant, happy, sad, enlightened, feel amazement when it comes to God how do you know it’s real?
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I’m not saying feelings are totally unimportant, just that they aren’t the first and most important thing. It’s just like being in a relationship with another person–sometimes feelings come up, sometimes they don’t. Feelings aren’t indicative of whether you have a good relationship or a bad one. Love is an act of the will. The same is true of our love of God. We say yes to God whether it makes us feel good, feel bad, or feel nothing, and we do so because he is our God and he is good, and that’s that. When we don’t know what our feelings mean, the safest assumption is to see whether they lead us toward God or away from him, toward truth or away from it.
 
The blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is, most simply, final impenitence:
[1864] “Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.” There are no limits to the mercy of God, but anyone who deliberately refuses to accept his mercy by repenting, rejects the forgiveness of his sins and the salvation offered by the Holy Spirit. Such hardness of heart can lead to final impenitence and eternal loss.
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If you don’t feel like you deserve forgiveness, I would say that yes, that’s different from thinking your sin is too great to be forgiven. On some level, we don’t deserve forgiveness, and that is the mercy of God–he gives us his forgiveness even though we don’t deserve it and even though we certainly could never repay him. But we mustn’t look at what we deserve and start to despair, but rather rejoice in the mercy of God. Despairing of our worthiness of God and his forgiveness can lead us to that final impenitence that is the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.

So, in short, feeling unworthy isn’t a sin, but if we dwell on that thought and continue to cultivate it, it can lead us to sin, and even the greatest sin. The greatest sin is the sin for which we do not seek forgiveness.
 
I haven’t gone through all the responses, but I am curious, how often would you say we should go to confession, in your opinion? I think the most common times I hear are once a month or twice a month.
 
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