Ask a Priest Anything...about Confession!

[InThePew]

I was wondering if you could explain what excommunication is. I hear people say it but have no idea what they are talking about.

If this is too irrelevant to the conversation feel free to ignore it.

As the blog post Tis_Bearself linked to says at the end: if you don’t know whether your excommunicated then you’re not. Remission of penalties (like excommunication) is different to the absolution of sins - you can be absolved of your sins but still be affected by the penalty if it’s one which is reserved to the Holy See (very few are admittedly) or a bishop. Other than that, when a priest absolve your sins he also remits any associated penalties.

 

[Harmony]

Hi Fr ACEGC

Thank you for answering questions about Confession!

My question is, suppose you are not sure something was sinful–should you confess it or not?

So, maybe like you really like turkey and you only get it at Thanksgiving, so you eat a huge amount, and sort of stuff yourself? So that could be gluttony, should it be confessed?

Or if you miss Mass due to not feeling well: maybe you could have gone, so should you confess it?

Thank you!

 

[edward_george1]

My question is, suppose you are not sure something was sinful–should you confess it or not?

From looking at your posting history, it would seem that in your case, you shouldn’t confess a lot of doubtful things. It seems that you might be scrupulous, and so to confess doubtful things is not going to be helpful for you.

Neither of the things you describe is necessarily sinful. If you don’t feel well enough to go to Mass, don’t go to Mass. It’s not a sin not to, and you shouldn’t confess it since you haven’t sinned. If you eat more than usual on a festive occasion, there’s nothing wrong with this. There isn’t really a “line” over which you’ve consumed too much food (or alcohol for that matter), you have to know your own body and your own limits and what’s prudent for you, of course.

 

[nfinke]

I had always been told something like this:

“If you honestly forget some sin while in the confessional, and so don’t mention it, that sin is absolved too. But if you remember about it later on, you should mention it at your next confession”

Maybe this is incorrect, or I understood it wrong. But that seems to create weird situations based on my understanding.

If I was absolved of some sin I forgot in the confessional, and then I remember later on, and then I don’t mention it in my next confession, does that mean that sin was retroactively unabsolved? Can a forgiveness of sins be essentially taken back like that? I figured it was a double jeopardy type situation where I can never be guilty again of a specific instance of sin once absolved.

Or it would seem like as soon as I recall that forgotten sin I’m immediately “unabsolved”, because I’m supposed to mention it in my next confession, which seems to imply guilt. It also seems that I could potentially be in sin just from an accidental rememberance, which wouldnt be an intentional act of will.

Can you clear this up for me, as I have a bad memory so I’m in this situation often.

 

[thistle]

“If you honestly forget some sin while in the confessional, and so don’t mention it, that sin is absolved too. But if you remember about it later on, you should mention it at your next confession”

No you are not unabsolved. However, if you remember a mortal sin you had forgotten and deliberately do not confess it next time then that is a sin. You are required to confess at the earliest opportunity any forgotten sins that you subsequently remember.

 

[Shasta-Rose]

I try to be a good Catholic. Love the Lord, do good works when possible. I think I am doing well in that department.

As to what is going on my brain, that I can’t say about. For instance, I think abortion should not be ruled out if it is to save a woman’s life. I’m not totally against birth control, either. And if anybody would ask me, which they don’t, I would not advise anyone on abortion or birth control—just keep my thoughts to myself. And I’m old enough, I don’t have a dog in that type of race anymore. I’m totally out of that loop. So, does it really matter what I think? Am I allowed to use my God-given mind to have an independent private thought here?

Should I confess these thoughts as sins?

 

[edward_george1]

Okay, seriously, this is unnecessarily harsh. Certainly not how I would respond to someone who disagreed with the Church’s teachings. There’s a much more effective way to engage that sort of thing.

 

[edward_george1]

So here’s what I would say to this:

If they are not sins, why confess them? If they are not sins, why would one think that they are? To me it would indicate knowing on some level that they might be, even if it was just a small matter of disobedience, which, of course, isn’t necessarily a small matter at all.

If they are sins, and you do confess them, are you prepared to change? We must go to confession with firm purpose of amendment. So if we confess, and we do not intend at least on some level to stop sinning, or at least consider how we might, then there’s no point to it.

You aren’t doing these things, so obviously you’re not sinning by doing them. And you say you’re not advising anyone to do them, so you’re obviously not sinning in that way either. From my chair, if you came into my office and wanted to discuss this with me, my concern would be less “is this a sin?” and more “why is it you believe this, or why disagree with the Church on this?” I would give a hearing to your arguments and I would discuss it with you. If I convinced you, great, if not, I realize that happens sometimes. It would be better if you didn’t believe those things, but I recognize that I can only do so much, and the rest is up to you and the Holy Spirit.

If you would like to have that conversation, feel free to PM me. I’d rather not adjudicate it here, lest we get off topic or invite any nastiness directed at you. I don’t mind intellectual discussion, I can’t abide nastiness.

 

[Anna5]

Are all priests trained in seminary to forget what is told to them in confession? Would it be a sin for a priest to dwell on, or to try to remember, the sins a person confessed to them?

 

[Anna5]

How do priests themselves experience going to confession? Do you priests share the feelings most of us lay penitents experience, like a mixture of shame, fear and trust? Is it harder or easier for a priest to go to confession than for a lay person?

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Do you priests share the feelings most of us lay penitents experience, like a mixture of shame, fear and trust?

Given that there are billions of “lay penitents” in the world, I don’t think you can ascribe a particular set of feelings to all or even most of them.
I generally don’t feel any of these things when going to confession. I don’t find shame to be a productive emotion in any part of my life and generally avoid feeling it.
I do feel tired, anxious and inadequate much of the time when I go.
Other people actually feel happy about going.

 

[Dougbro1]

Each priest is different. For me, I try to give SMART penances:

Specific (you know exactly what it is)
Measurable (you know when you’ve done it)
Attainable (you are able to do it)
Relevant (not as important, see below)
Timely (you can do it in a reasonable timeframe).

Sounds like the SMART goals I learned about in Grade 9 Learning Strategies

 

[annad347]

I’m a little confused about purgatory, and it kind of has to do with confession… I figured ask a priest, which was also suggested, so I hope this is okay.

On another thread a person asked what sins are forgiven… and someone posted all sins are forgiven but ‘that a “stain” of the absolved sin remains even after Confession which requires a stay in purgatory’.

what I didn’t understand was that didn’t Jesus dying for our sins remove those stains which are cleansed by repenting our sins?

so if that’s the case why would you have to spend time in purgatory for the sins we repented?

I thought wrong about purgatory being for souls outside the grace of God… yea I realize that’s the wrong… but also from my understanding (after reading up on things) purgatory was for christian who didn’t repent their sin. A place where you spend time suffering a temporal punishment because you didn’t repent or didn’t really make amends (is that the right word) for those sins so you can be cleansed to enter into heaven?

Can you explain that… if we are forgiven for our sins, repent our sin, live by God’s will through the Holy Spirit… why would we spend time in purgatory upon death for a temporal punishment?

 

[whatistrue]

Can you explain that… if we are forgiven for our sins, repent our sin, live by God’s will through the Holy Spirit… why would we spend time in purgatory upon death for a temporal punishment?

Say for example you get mad at your Dad and throw a freshly baked pie at him. It might miss, or maybe it hits and stains his suit. In either case, you are sorry and apologize for the throwing. Your dad accepts your apology and the relationship is healed. That is forgiveness of the sin. But the pie and maybe his clothes still need to be cleaned up. That is the residual effects of the forgiven sin. You cleaning up the pie and either cleaning or paying to clean the stained clothes is the temporal punishment.

ETA: And since pie is good and valuable, maybe add on baking a new pie…

 

[annad347]

ETA: And since pie is good and valuable, maybe add on baking a new pie…

That’s a consequence of the sin, not a punishment. Purgatory is a punishment. If i didn’t pay for the suit, or clean up after the mess then yes I’d have to pay for that, but if I did while I was alive, then why would I still have to pay for the sin after death?

 

[Fauken]

Purgatory is a punishment.

Purgatory is not a punishment. It’s no more a punishment than going to the gym to get in shape is.

 

[whatistrue]

The consequences are: Pie not eatable, pie bits scattered wherever they landed, possibly dirty clothes on dad. The punishments are: Clean up pie, clean or pay for cleaning of clothes if needed, make new pie. And it is my understanding that it is possible to satisfy the temporal punishment during your life through acts of charity, fasting, prayer, etc. as well as through earning recognized indulgences; the remainder, if any, is handled after death in Purgatory, so if you did indeed “pay for” your sins while alive then you wouldn’t have to after death. But again, this is just my understanding and I am very willing to be corrected by those who know better.

 

[annad347]

Purgatory is not a punishment. It’s no more a punishment than going to the gym to get in shape is.

they why do people say you will feel some pain while you’re there… to me pain is punishment… also it separates you from God for a period of time, that in itself sounds like a punishment.

 

[Fauken]

they why do people say you will feel some pain while you’re there…

Because it’s to purge you of your attachment to sin, which isn’t pleasant.

to me pain is punishment…

This is not true. Pain is not necessarily punishment. Is the sting of pain you get from a vaccine punishment?

also it separates you from God for a period of time, that in itself sounds like a punishment.

No it doesn’t. Everyone in purgatory knows they’re going to heaven. The souls in purgatory are not separated from God, they’re on their way to Him.

 

[annad347]

Exactly, that’s my understanding as well… so if a person pays for their sin on earth through living a holy life with the Holy Spirit by following God’s will then there is no reason to go to purgatory upon death. Some make it sound like you still will.