Ask a Priest Anything...about Confession!

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Do you do penance for the people who come to you for confession? I always get the same penance of a few Hail Mary every time regardless of how many sins I confess and regardless of whether I confessed a mortal sin. I feel like even though my penance is the same every time, the priest who heard my confession is going to do penance for me that is proportional to how much and how serious are the sins he heard that day.
 
Regarding confession.
  1. What should a penitent do who is distressed from the advice that he gets in confession? Because, while he wants to obey his confessor and he definitely does not want to get into an argument, he strongly suspects that the advice that he is receiving is in deep error?
Examples: I have gotten advice from priests who claim bad thoughts that attack the sixth commandment are never grave matter (they are grave matter, consent and knowledge are a separate question for another time), who claim that the extraordinary papal Magisterium is the only way for a decree to be infallible (which throws out all of the infallible statements in the Ordinary and Universal Magisterium), that say certain acts described in the Catechism as “grave depravity” are no longer grave depravity (when in reality nothing of the prudential order is even mentioned in the Catechism in regard to this sin and the malice derives from the moral object so this malice must remain forever), that say it is impossible for some people to overcome addictions pertaining to the sixth commandment (a direct contradiction to Pope Pius XII and the correct interpretation of the Council of Trent), etc!

So here is the question. How can I learn to trust the advice I get from priests given I frequently completely disagree with it?
 
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How often is it recommended to do a general confession?
How long should it take to do the conscientious exam?
If I don’t know if a couple of sins are really sins, should I ask a priest other day before receiving the sacrament? Or say them in confession warning that I am in doubt? I ask this because I am scrupulous, seeing sin in everything. I hope this question may be helpful.
 
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Some people do general confessions even with forgiven sins, or not? Like before marriage, confirmation, advent, lent.
 
That’s new to me. I’ve only been a Catholic since 2017, and have only heard of confession, and have been told there is no need to recite anything previously absolved.
 
Hi Father,

Forgive me if this question has been asked already – I’ve looked through the thread and can’t see any reference to it.
I often go to Confession with an elderly Jesuit priest. When I enter the Confessional box , before I have a chance to say anything he will often say something like “ May Almighty God forgive you your sins,” and then I am allowed to make my Confession. I really like to go to Confession with this priest and he always pronounces the Words Of Absolution, i.e. “I absolve you of your sins in the Name of The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit.” He doesn’t stick strictly to the Words of Absolution which most priests use in my experience.
So my question is :What are the minimum words o be used for an absolution to be valid?
 
Hello Father,
Theoretical question here:

If a penitent confesses to you in confessional that he killed someone - to get it off his chest - but that the person deserved it and he would do it again if he had to (such as an abusive parent), would you absolve him? If not absolved, are you at liberty to report what he did to law enforcement or is unabsolved grave sin still covered by the seal of the confessional? If it is still private, how would you respond to this person and handle the situation? Just curious.
 
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Gabriel2 said:
Some people do general confessions even with forgiven sins, or not? Like before marriage, confirmation, advent, lent.
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Modern Catholic Dictionary:

GENERAL CONFESSION. The term has two different meanings, both referring to the reception of the sacrament of penance. Most commonly, it means a private confession where the penitent (exceptionally) resolves to confess as far as he or she can all past sins, and not only those since the last confession. The practice is recommended when a person is entering on a new state of life – the priesthood, religious life, or marriage – and is required in some religious institutes by rule to be done annually. Less often, general confession is associated with the granting of general absolution. When general absolution may be validly given, the provision for general confession is that “the penitents who wish to receive absolution” are invited “to indicate this by some kind of sign.” The penitents then say a general formula for confession, for example, “I confess to almighty God.” However, one of the necessary dispositions for receiving valid absolution, when only a general confession was made, is that the penitent “resolve to confess in due time each one of the grave sins which he cannot confess at present.”
 
No…I mean at the end time, those still in purgatory go on to heaven as I understand it. Sorry I was unclear and thanks for the correction.

But that raises a question…when we die, do we remain in our time as we experience on Earth or do we at some point experience time all at once as God does? What is time to an angel?
 
Once we die we’re on God’s time. God’s time isn’t like our time. There’s no such thing as earthly days, for example, and it’s my understanding that a “day” in Purgatory might feel like a very long time. The more so because one is anxious to get on to Heaven and be with God.
 
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Cajun, I agree. I have a mental block…I get choked up. There has been some abuse in my history and it still impacts me. I feel panic, all the while being fully aware it is irrational. I am quite frustrated. I was thinking maybe I need to just say so. I get scared that whatever I say will be used to manipulate me. It’s irrational except that it happened before. The responsible priest is thirty years dead but I am not over it.

Can I write my confession and give a note to the priest, or must it be spoken out loud? It’s saying the words that I find I cannot do…physically, I can’t get the words out. I know it’s dumb but it’s just what I’m going through.
 
Tommy999 said:
If not absolved, are you at liberty to report what he did to law enforcement or is unabsolved grave sin still covered by the seal of the confessional?
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I can answer that and I am not a Priest. Father cannot act on any information he learns in confession even if he withholds absolution.
 
Kindnessmatters said:
Cajun, I agree. I have a mental block…I get choked up. There has been some abuse in my history and it still impacts me. I feel panic, all the while being fully aware it is irrational. I am quite frustrated. I was thinking maybe I need to just say so. I get scared that whatever I say will be used to manipulate me. It’s irrational except that it happened before. The responsible priest is thirty years dead but I am not over it.

Can I write my confession and give a note to the priest, or must it be spoken out loud? It’s saying the words that I find I cannot do…physically, I can’t get the words out. I know it’s dumb but it’s just what I’m going through.
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I can tell you this much - God does not ever expect us to do the impossible. I do not know the full answer. But I know there are options in place for things such as penitents who do not speak the language. It does not sound like you are withholding these sins out of willful choice.

Would it possibly help if you went anonymously to a parish where you are not known? If you were behind a screen and at a place where you don’t go to mass, there would be no chance the priest could manipulate you. He simply wouldn’t be able to identify you at all.
 
Purgatory isn´t punishment. Sins makes stains on our soul and while we are forgiven in confession we still need to be cleaned before we can see God. Because nothing onholy can ever see God and live.
 
Father, I have a question about matrimony and confession. I understand that one is supposed to confess and be in a state of grace before the wedding, or you don’t get the sacramental grace. It’s highly likely I loused this up and didn’t go to confession before the wedding and wasn’t in a state of grace blah blah yes I know it was bad, long story. Husband wasn’t a Catholic so he has no part in this.

However, I think I read somewhere that if one later goes and makes a good confession and gets back in the state of grace, the grace for the matrimony will flow in at that time, assuming one is still married of course. Is this correct or am I just kidding myself?
I did make a good confession while husband was still alive back in I think Jan 2016 and since then I’ve tried to be good and confessed at least once a month or more often if I thought I had committed grave sin. Did I manage to get us the grace for our marriage? I really wasn’t aware of this grace stuff back in the day, although I know that doesn’t excuse my bad sins.
 
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There have been a lot of good questions the past several days, and I apologize that I haven’t had a chance to answer them. I have had out-of-town company for most of the week. I will do my best this evening or tomorrow to get caught up!
 
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