Ask a Priest Anything...about Confession!

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Is it okay to explain who you are as a person to priest before you start your confession, or does none of that matter?
 
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It depends on what you mean by “who you are as a person.” If you’re giving a general synopsis of your character, that’s not really necessary. If you’re telling what your state in life is (married, single, ordained, vowed religious), that can be helpful and is sometimes necessary, particularly if it affects the gravity of one’s sin. For example, whether you’re married or not affects the gravity of having sinned by having sex with someone who is not your spouse. Unmarried, that is only fornication, married it is also adultery.
 
Thanks… I needed to know it’s not just about the confession, he needs to understand me, and I need to know he understands me. Especially if he might be someone I’ve never meet before. Thanks
 
If you had a heart attack and died in the confessional just before the priest says absolution would you go straight to Hell?
 
Assuming you had gone into the confessional intent on sincerely confessing your sins, I would imagine that something like baptism of desire would kick in. You’re obviously repentant, so why would you go straight to hell in that instance? God really isn’t out to get us.
 
Thanks for the quick response, I just worry about stuff like that, similar to getting hit by a car on the way to confession, being in mortal sin makes you worry about crossing the street.
 
Do you usually remember people who go regularly, and do you notice when you don’t see them for a while? No big reason, just curious.
 
I wouldn’t normally remember (at least without prompting) exactly when a person last came to see me. I might remember having seen them before and would obviously be more likely to remember them if they’d been to see me several times before. If they were coming often and then stopped, I’d probably notice that I hadn’t seen them in a while but, to be honest, like most things it just sort of disappears into the blur of life after a while - it’s definitely not something I dwell on!
 
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What are children/teens like in confession? When we converted I was never taught about what to do with confession or really what it was for so when I first went I sat there in silence not knowing what I was doing, even as a 14 year old I didn’t know what sins were and never heard of mortal sin until I was around 20.
 
BigRon said:
What are children/teens like in confession?
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A friend of mine once compared hearing children’s confessions to being stoned to death with popcorn! With younger children I find they need to be guided through it - especially the first time because they’re often quite nervous. Part of the problem is that they don’t go enough for them to be familiar enough with it. Obviously there’s a limit to how much your average eight year old can sin but even if they were going every three months or so it would help. Some Catholic schools I know organise it several times a year which I think is great but this obviously relies on the support and availability of priests. I also think priests need to be more involved in sacramental preparation; obviously those leading it need to be going regularly to confession themselves but besides that, I think it would be helpful for a priest to talk about confession from the point of view of the one on the other side.

With teenagers the difference between the sexes is significant. Without meaning to stereotype (because there are of course exceptions), typically teenage girls tend to be a lot more forthcoming (got to make sure tissues are handy) while boy tend to be a lot less so. Particularly with boys, I know that there’s probably more than they’re telling me (i.e. the sexual stuff) but it’s difficult for me as a confessor to try and bring that out. the challenge is to help them to feel safe in bringing this stuff up and understand that the priest is going to think any less of them or tell them off, no matter how embarrassing or personal what they’ve done is.
 
InThePew said:
… like most things it just sort of disappears into the blur of life after a while - it’s definitely not something I dwell on!
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A great summary of how we individual penitents and our confessions look from the priest’s side!
 
Have you ever got upset hearing a confession? Maybe when someone returns after 30 years?
 
When I returned to the church after an absence of 27 years the priest was very happy to hear my confession.
 
I’m not sure what you mean by “upset” but when I hear something like that from a penitent by response is always the same - welcome back.

If someone’s been away for ages, has only just managed to pluck up the courage to come back and I treat them like some sort of pariah then it stands to reason that we’re never going to see them anywhere near a church again! I can’t even begin to imagine what sort of spiritual conversion has led them to return but I can rejoice at their return giving thanks to God for someone who’s truly come to know their need of the Lord’s mercy.
 
Good Morning Father,
After a long absence I have recently returned to my faith and The Church. Since my initial meeting with my local Priest for a long confession, I attend Mass at least weekly though sometimes 2 or 3 times a week in order to participate in Eucharistic union which I’m advised deepens/strengthens our relationship with The Holy Trinity. I also attend confession weekly in order to hopefully be in a state a grace while receiving Holy Communion (my biggest fear is to continue to offend God) Is once a week in the confessional too much then?
Thank you for your reply and God Bless You
 
Smepperson said:
I also attend confession weekly in order to hopefully be in a state a grace while receiving Holy Communion (my biggest fear is to continue to offend God) Is once a week in the confessional too much then?
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I’m not sure it’s possible to offend God. Granted, I don’t claim to know the mind of the Lord and certainly we can cause Him sorrow but that’s not the same thing… Anyway, if you need to go each week, for example because of a particular sin you’re struggling with, then definitely go and keep going; but it’s just because you think you might not be in a state of grace then that could well be a sign of scrupulosity and this is definitely something you should bring up with you priest at your next confession.
 
There is more to it…a major concern I recently resolved with my Parish Priest. For now, I’ll continue weekly since it is how I was taught/brought up. I struggle with patience quite a bit and it has been helping.

Thank you again. God Bless You
 
I try to go once a week myself. It’s the spiritual bath of the soul.
 
I hate having to go to confession especially face to face ones. I like being in state of grace after but hate the fear before it. Why doesn’t God give us grace to fight after confession?
 
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