ASK FATHER: Why Did Father Skip Blessing Children At Communion?

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i think there is no technical issue here, it’s simply turning the communion line into a game for little kids. They want to go “up there” too and do something.

I specifically don’t like it because I have seen the priest and EMHCs pat the kids on the head or hold their hand on the child’s head – give me a break. We germaphobes are disgusted with such unsanitary practices.

Everybody gets a blessing at the end (which I don’t understand in itself, anyway – how could I be more blessed than by receiving communion?) anyway.

The “final” blessing is a misnomer, too. It’s the ONLY blessing that I’ve ever noticed. Why do they call it FINAL?

Yes, in Numbers there is the classic priestly blessing over the people. Got it. What the final blessing seems to be is a way to sneak in another “sign of the cross” at the end of Mass, opposite to the one at the beginning of Mass. At the end of Mass it’s called a blessing.

And, back to the topic, the blessing of individual children at communion is not in the order of the Mass, is it? This is one of those things like shaking hands, I went to one midnight Mass at Christmas, and this woman shook my hand three times. I was ready to warn her that if she did that again, we’d be legally married.
 
I think it is ridiculous to add these individual blessings, popular as they may be, because it is NOT specified in the Order of the Mass. To say “it is not specifically prohibited” is the wrong idea. Singing Yankee Doodle Dandee is not specifically prohibited either , but are we to do THAT and EVERYTHING else that is not specifically excluded? Where does it end? Why does the Church specify an “order of the Mass” if the priest and people are going to ignore it?

The other issue here is, Vatican II was about defining the powers of bishops, just as Vatican I was about defining the papacy for modern times. So, the bishops got a lot of discretion for this little variance or that little variance. What the bishop in my diocese did is extend this discretion to each priest. So ANYTHING can happen at Mass and it’s all OK. What’s next?

I think Vatican II had a decree on priests and it said that the priests were NOT to change anything on their own. They didn’t have the power to do that. But, our local bishop, years ago, found the loophole to slide through his agenda for chaos. He was always looking for loopholes. He specified the details of his own funeral and they were honored. The rules said that if there were sufficient numbers of priests, there were to be NO EMHCs. Well, his funeral was PACKED with priests and bishops, but he INSISTED that only EMCHs distribute the Eucharist and so it was. I can’t stand priests and bishops GAMING the system to mollify their own egos.

As a lay person, I have no say about all this. Benedict XVI wrote about this and said that the priests were not supposed to distract the congregation from the Mass, making them constantly wonder what was going to happen next.
 
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Thank you Father for this explanation. As far as I am concerned this priest did not do anything wrong. We all do get a blessing at the appropriate time at the end of Mass. The communion line is for receiving communion.
 
otrrl said:
i think there is no technical issue here, it’s simply turning the communion line into a game for little kids. They want to go “up there” too and do something.
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I agree. Kids need to understand that the line is for receiving Jesus, and when they are old enough they will also get to receive Him. I know as kids we all looked forward to that day we would be “old enough”. We didn’t expect a priest to be doing something to include us in the line when we were younger. Would have kind of ruined the anticipation if he had.
 
Is this topic for real?

Catholic numbers are dangerously low. I am flabbergasted as to why giving a small child a blessing is seen as controversial. My two have yet to receive communion. They love getting their blessing. People (usually elderly) smile at us as they have their little arms crossed with such importance.

The Catholic church is not seen as particularly welcoming as it is. Anyone reading this thread would simply feel their point of view as justified.

Talk about making families feel less welcome than they already do.
 
ewohdrol said:
Talk about making families feel less welcome than they already do.
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Sorry, but when I go to Mass I practically trip over families with kids and there are tons of things for the kids to do and the priests are always saying nice things to families after Mass. If anything they get more attention than anybody else there.
Being welcoming doesn’t mean a priest is obligated to give a blessing to a kid mid-Communion. Ask him after Mass, he’ll likely oblige.

If a person is going to get all affronted and not want to attend Mass because they can’t accept that priests don’t all want to give blessings during Communion which is supposed to be focused on Our Lord, then I’d say they have issues, and if it’s not the blessing business they’ll just find some other thing to complain about and walk out over next week.
 
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Since the EMHC is not allowed to give a blessing to someone seeking it, would it be okay instead for the EMHC to say a short prayer for the person seeking the blessing, the short prayer being “May God bless you.”
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Sorry, but when I go to Mass I practically trip over families with kids and there are tons of things for the kids to do and the priests are always saying nice things to families after Mass. If anything they get more attention than anybody else there.
Being welcoming doesn’t mean a priest is obligated to give a blessing to a kid mid-Communion. Ask him after Mass, he’ll likely oblige.

If a person is going to get all affronted and not want to attend Mass because they can’t accept that priests don’t all want to give blessings during Communion which is supposed to be focused on Our Lord, then I’d say they have issues, and if it’s not the blessing business they’ll just find some other thing to complain about and walk out over next week.
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What things for kids? We have NOTHING for kids at all. No acknowledgement of their needs or any kind of kid friendly activities. And I’ve tried multiple parishes. There are very few families who attend near us.

And I am not affronted as to not attend mass. I never miss mass although am saddened that there is nothing for my children there. But I find the sentiment of this thread unbelievably uncharitable.
 
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We have Catholics that only will go to Communion if a priest gives it to them. We have other Catholics that want Mass over in just one hour. Another group wants the hymns that they want or they will go somewhere else. We have the OF and EF division. Others want their statues, communion rails, and other church items their way. Now if the priest does not give their child a blessing, then the church is wrong and not welcoming to families. Was this the only child that day and at that Mass not given a blessing? Has this child always gotten the blessing from this priest and suddenly no more. Is this a universal problem or an EF or an OF problem? The priests can not please everyone.
 
Our parish has CLOW (Children’s Liturgy of the Word) during Mass. Before the children leave for this activity the priest blesses them. This ministry always needs volunteers. The parish hires individuals to provide a nursery for those babies and toddlers that need this service. What do you expect from the church? Remember that other groups do not have activities either.
 
I’m sorry if you’re in some area where kids are ignored. I attend regularly about a half dozen parishes that all have their own Catholic elementary school and/or youth program for kids. These parishes are full of families with kids and the priests seem to know every family personally. Every parish also has something for kids - special activities for preschoolers during Mass, school activities, scout troops, community service opportunities, altar serving, etc.

In my experience of attending various Catholic churches in USA over the last 50 or so years, I have never seen a parish where families with children weren’t welcomed. I don’t doubt that perhaps these parishes exist somewhere, perhaps in areas where only older people currently tend to live, but that doesn’t seem to be the norm. Now, with more and more parishes consolidating, I’m seeing even more kids packed into one church. Honestly, if I had to pick a group that gets ignored by the clergy, I would say it’s the young post-college single people who aren’t yet to the point of marriage and kids - it’s like they don’t exist unless they are very active in some church ministry.
 
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I would love what you have described!

I have volunteered to do a Sunday school equivalent but there was no interest from the very few families that attend. Our parish does not have a nursery or anywhere for babies/toddlers to be. Mothers breastfeed outside. Priest does not welcome the children. The ONLY thing they love is going up for the blessing and putting money in the collection.

Apologies this threat has hit a very raw nerve for me. I simply don’t know how my children are going to grow into good Catholics when they have no support or friends in their church community.
I try so hard to keep them interested in it but am completely alone in this. To read now that people might find them getting a blessing controversial is really saddening for me.
 
If there are only a handful of families with children in your parish, it’s a different situation than the churches I go to where like I said they have these big schools or big youth/ lifeteen programs. The parishes I’m talking about have dozens, and probably in some cases hundreds, of kids.

It sounds like your priest does bless the children, so that’s settled for your parish anyway.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
In my experience of attending various Catholic churches in USA over the last 50 or so years, I have never seen a parish where families with children weren’t welcomed.
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Maybe I need to shift to the US! I am in Australia and it is incredibly spiritually dry here. No families. Not many people our age at all. I do have huge concerns for our children’s future faith.

God bless 🙂
 
When my wee ones were very small and I’d carry them in the communion line, the priest usually would give them a blessing, but not always.

My one kiddo waved back when the priest blessed her. It was very cute.

But I never got offended if the priest didn’t bless them.
 
Fr David. When did the blessing during communion first start? Has it got something to do with the equmenical talks between different ecclesial communions and people attending other Masses/church services than their own and not wanting to feel left out?
 
blackforest said:
More analogous would be: “Oh, sorry. Please don’t get irritated. I received a lollipop at Wells Fargo, Bank of America, and Key Bank. I just thought it was customary and didn’t realize that you didn’t hand out lollipops here at Curmudgeon Financial.”
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LOL! That is a better description!

But, ask yourself: why does a business give away free candy to children? (I would say that it’s to increase business by providing customers an incentive to choose their store over others, by giving away freebies.) Ask yourself, then: is that the ‘business’ that the Church is in? Capitalist consumerism? 🤔
 
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