ASK FATHER: Why Did Father Skip Blessing Children At Communion?

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Yes! “kids need to understand that the line if for receiving Jesus”! A couple of years ago the pre-First Holy Communion kids at school Mass began going up for blessings because of this “everyone gets a trophy” mentality. The little 5- and 6-year-old kids have NO idea what they’re doing; for all they know they’re lining up to go to the library or the bathroom or the playground, and they are learning that going up to the priest at the front of church is just another thing that everyone gets to do, so it has no special meaning. They go up, Father says something nice to them, they skip back to the pew and continue giggling and wiggling with their friends.
 
I must admit…sometimes I find myself getting so angry with parents who have kids crying or misbehaving in church (and we raised 3 of the little stinkers!) - forget about asking for a blessing.

And yet I’m reminded of this scene in Mark 10:13-16:

Blessing of the Children. 13 And people were bringing children to him that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this he became indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it.”16 Then he embraced them and blessed them, placing his hands on them.

It’s interesting that Jesus specifically took time to do this, no? I wonder how he feels about children at his very presence?

On the other hand, Ecclesiastes 3 teaches us that there’s a time for everything. In 1 Corinthians 11, St. Paul teaches us to take the Eucharist very, very seriously.

I think it’s hard sometimes to hold all of these things in tension, no? At the end of the day though, I agree we need to respect our anointed leaders and their guidance regarding our - and our children’s - conduct in all aspects of worshiping our King.
 
blackforest said:
I think an EMHC who gets that easily triggered is probably in the wrong ministry.
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I think you misunderstood. It’s not the EMHC that gets ticked off, it is the person who gets in line wanting a blessing who reaches the front and can’t receive a blessing from an EHMC. The person expecting something in the communion line that is not the purpose of the communion line and cannot be imparted by EMHC.
 
Being that the Liturgy is the highest form of catechesis shouldn’t the liturgy reflect that…‘run smooth as silk’…or strive to?

At the ‘Yout’ Synod 😄 the Archbishop of Bombay said young people are telling them they want better Liturgy. He then said he thought this generation was not very interested in the Liturgy. Nothing wrong with showing an interest in the Liturgy by starting a conversation with your priest and asking him why do we do this or what is happening here.
 
TULIPed said:
I must admit…sometimes I find myself getting so angry with parents who have kids crying or misbehaving in church (and we raised 3 of the little stinkers!) - forget about asking for a blessing.
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Well I used to get slightly annoyed but I have come to enjoying it lol. In fact it brings a smile to my face when all heaven breaks loose and you have a bunch of kids crying, goo gooing and ga gaaing all over the place, the chanting, the choir all going on at the same time lol. It’s life. Usually the parents take the kids out so it is not constant anyway.
 
halogirl said:
Every service I’ve been to we are invited to have a blessing if we can’t take communion for whatever reason (UK).
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I’m in the UK, too, and am always saddened by the arguments about this that crop up so often on these boards among American Catholics.
Going up for a blessing is actually encouraged by our UK Bishops. It’s a wonderful and simple way of reminding us of the welcoming arms of Jesus for all.

Perhaps it’s to do with the UK being a small and overcrowded country, with a high likelihood of a Catholic marrying a non-Catholic. Perhaps that’s why we feel the need to be inclusive, rather than split-up families at Holy Communion time - I don’t know.

I don’t think it’s anything to do with ‘everyone feeling entitled to get something’ mentality, I really don’t. It’s more about love and mirroring the actions of Jesus - in the Gospels He clearly didn’t go in for creating cliques.
 
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paperwight said:
Perhaps it’s to do with the UK being a small and overcrowded country, with a high likelihood of a Catholic marrying a non-Catholic. Perhaps that’s why we feel the need to be inclusive, rather than split-up families at Holy Communion time - I don’t know.
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America is a different country of course, with different religious traditions and without the record of antagonism between Catholics and Protestants that you have in the UK.

America is known for vocal debate between folks of different religious persuasions, but we don’t have a history of religious warfare
 
paperwight said:
Going up for a blessing is actually encouraged by our UK Bishops. It’s a wonderful and simple way of reminding us of the welcoming arms of Jesus for all.
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I suspect a big reason why it’s encouraged in UK is because of the apparent issue, which we often see posted about on here, about Anglicans not being able to receive Holy Communion in the Catholic church. In the UK and even in the Ordinariate parishes in USA, it seems like the priests are always trying very hard to heal the divide and bring people together and hoping that one day Anglicans and Catholics will again be as one.

In the USA, outside of the Ordinariate, a lot of the priests and bishops are not as concerned with that and some of them even think the Church has gone too far in adopting unnecessary practices designed to signal community, fellowship etc. The reason they think it’s gone too far is not that they have an issue with children or blessings, but that the Mass is supposed to be the unbloody sacrifice of Jesus and too many people attending do not appreciate that or focus on it - instead they see Mass as the equivalent of a community get-together where we all sing hymns and eat a meal.
 
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ewohdrol said:
Is this topic for real?

Catholic numbers are dangerously low. I am flabbergasted as to why giving a small child a blessing is seen as controversial. My two have yet to receive communion. They love getting their blessing. People (usually elderly) smile at us as they have their little arms crossed with such importance.

The Catholic church is not seen as particularly welcoming as it is. Anyone reading this thread would simply feel their point of view as justified.

Talk about making families feel less welcome than they already do.
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What flabbergasts me is how people will exaggerate this issue of blessings at Communion time.

It’s a reflection on our contemporary society as a whole.

“If someone doesn’t give me exactly what I want, exactly when I want it, and on exactly my terms, that person is all kinds of mean, nasty things” is an attitude that genuinely troubles me. Unfortunately, that attitude is becoming more and more prevalent in today’s society. All too often today, we encounter that attitude “anyone who disagrees with me on anything is evil” or a Nazi, or incompetent, or hates children, or makes people feel unwelcome; or any other sort of mean nasty descriptions.

That secular attitude is now finding its way into the Church. And it’s not a good thing.

There is nothing about a simple absence of giving a blessing, at a time/place when blessings are not even appropriate, that makes the Catholic Church any “less welcoming.” That is, quite frankly, an absurdity.

The Church’s Sacred Liturgy, and most especially the Mass itself, is the prayer of the whole Church. It is not something to be trivialized by accommodating every single whim and personal preference of all 1.5 billion Catholics. It is the prayer of the people of God gathered as a community. The Mass is not about each person doing his own thing and they all just happen to be in the same room at the same time.

The fact that a priest follows the Roman Missal and celebrates Mass as the Church requires him to celebrate it (in this case, by not doing blessings at Communion time), in no way whatsoever makes the priest, the parish, or the Church any less “welcoming.” No way, no how. Not even close.
 
“Ticked off” may not be an accurate way to describe that. If they’ve spent their entire Catholic lives receiving blessings in line and suddenly someone refuses them, they might wonder if someone is being rude to them. Again, it’s a simple misunderstanding that’s throwing the more rigid and less compassionate Catholics over the edge. I find it petty. Our Church has much bigger fish to fry - entire sea monsters, in fact.
 
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FrDavid96 said:
It is not something to be trivialized by accommodating every single whim and personal preference of all 1.5 billion Catholics.
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Not to mention that this would be impossible.

For virtually every liturgical practice or option, you can find practicing Catholics who are strongly in favor of it and strongly against it. The topics of Mass music, female altar servers, blessings in the Communion line, what people wear to Mass, holding hands during the Our Father, the orans position for hands during the Our Father, shaking hands at the Sign of Peace, even the wording of some of the prayers have repeatedly triggered long threads on here, and the words “this will make people feel unwelcome” and “I would leave a church if it did X” constantly pop up. We just had somebody in one of these threads say they would leave a church if the priest omitted the Sign of Peace.

There is no way to please all of the Catholics all of the time. I feel bad for the priests because they have parishioners pressuring them about stuff constantly. A couple weeks ago Archbishop Chaput came to my local parish to say a Mass and he talked about how he gets many letters from people concerned about Mass options such as the hymns that are used. A year ago I went up to a priest I knew after Church and said, “Father, can I ask you a question?” and he immediately said, “Sure, am I in trouble?” He was being jokey but I was thinking, “I bet the vast majority of the “questions” he gets after Mass are really complaints about people not liking this or that.” (My question was about the identity of a new saint statue he had recently installed in the Church as I didn’t recognize the saint.)

I actually heard a homily last year that was a third-person fable about a priest having to deal with a parishioner who came to his rectory with complaints on so many of the above things. The gist of the story was if you focus on Jesus’ sacrifice, which is what is really going on up on the altar, this other stuff is trivial.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
A year ago I went up to a priest I knew after Church and said, “Father, can I ask you a question?” and he immediately said, “Sure, am I in trouble?” He was being jokey but I was thinking, “I bet the vast majority of the “questions” he gets after Mass are really complaints about people not liking this or that.” (My question was about the identity of a new saint statue he had recently installed in the Church as I didn’t recognize the saint.)
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I bet he was glad to get your question.
 
PeterT said:
Since the EMHC is not allowed to give a blessing to someone seeking it, would it be okay instead for the EMHC to say a short prayer for the person seeking the blessing, the short prayer being “May God bless you.”
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The problem with that is that the moment of receiving Communion at Mass is exactly that. It’s the place (the head of the line) and the time (the part of the Mass) when people receive Communion. It’s not a time of blessing. It’s not a time of greeting. It’s not a time of anything else.

This is a bit like asking “if I arrive late for Mass, in the middle of the Gloria, may I say ‘good morning’ to the person I sit beside?” The answer is “yes, that’s not a problem” However, it would be absolutely wrong if a parish decided to tell everyone to stop in the middle of the Gloria, turn to the person next to you and say ‘good morning’ at every Mass.

If a person who isn’t receiving Communion happens to be in front of an extraordinary minister of Holy Communion and that emHC just happens to say “May God bless you.” That’s not an issue. Not a problem.

It becomes an issue when people try to make a liturgical act out of this. When they say things like “if you’re not receiving, please come forward with your arms crossed…” Or when emHCs are told as part of their training to do this.
 
blackforest said:
“Ticked off” may not be an accurate way to describe that. If they’ve spent their entire Catholic lives receiving blessings in line and suddenly someone refuses them, they might wonder if someone is being rude to them.
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The practice of giving blessings in the communion line isn’t a universal one in the Catholic Church. I think most adults would understand that.

As far as the children, adults can be responsible enough to explain it to them.

In Slovak Roman Catholic churches, the tradition is for the priest to bless the Easter baskets on Holy Saturday. I don’t think they have this blessing in non-Slovak churches, and Slovak Catholics who move to Milan or Manila probably need to understand that and not be surprised if their parish priests there don’t know what they are asking for if they expect this blessing.
 
HeDa said:
Fr David. When did the blessing during communion first start? Has it got something to do with the equmenical talks between different ecclesial communions and people attending other Masses/church services than their own and not wanting to feel left out?
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It’s impossible to say exactly when it began. I would say, very generally, sometime in the 80s. It seems to have spread gradually over the past few decades; not necessarily from a single place either, but from several locations with no set pattern. And again, very generally, it seems to have begun with the charismatics. It isn’t something I can document, but I do think they may have borrowed the idea from the Maronite Catholics (who have had this as a legitimate part of their Liturgy for centuries, but only for children).
 
blackforest said:
“Ticked off” may not be an accurate way to describe that. If they’ve spent their entire Catholic lives receiving blessings in line and suddenly someone refuses them, they might wonder if someone is being rude to them. Again, it’s a simple misunderstanding that’s throwing the more rigid and less compassionate Catholics over the edge. I find it petty. Our Church has much bigger fish to fry - entire sea monsters, in fact.
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Why do you insist on using such unkind characterizations?

Do you really need to use words like “rude” and “rigid” and “petty” and “less compassionate”???

Such false characterizations hardly help your position. Instead, they weaken it.

And again, no priest ever “refuses” to give a blessing. Since the Roman Missal describes no such blessings at Communion time, the priest is not “refusing” anyone anything.
 
I’m going to offer a slightly different perspective from a priest than that of my confrere. While I respect Fr. David’s position, and he’s right that priest are obligated to celebrate the liturgy according to what is laid out in the Roman Missal, my take on this is two-fold.

First, I don’t refer to it as a “blessing,” per se, except perhaps colloquially. Rather, what I call it is “an invitation to a spiritual communion,” and when someone comes to me in the communion line who cannot receive Holy Communion, I simply say, “Receive the Lord Jesus in your heart.” It’s not a blessing. It’s receiving communion, but rather than receiving the Eucharist, it’s a spiritual communion.

Second, and this is really my bigger point…at weddings and funerals there are many (often even most) who cannot receive the Eucharist, either because they are not Catholic or because they are not in a state of grace. So, prior to distribution of Holy Communion at these liturgies, I say something along the lines of, “For anyone who is not Catholic or who is not prepared to receive Holy Communion today for whatever reason, please feel free to either remain in your pew or to come forward with your arms crossed over your chest as a sign that you would like to receive a blessing (and I do say “blessing,”…again, colloquially).” This seems to me a far better alternative than A) excluding someone at a wedding or funeral for a loved one when I don’t have time to do an adequate catechesis as to why that person is seemingly excluded, or B) inviting people to make sacrilegious communions. Let’s be honest…most people are not going to hang back in their pew, especially when they are accustomed to coming forward each week, essentially saying, “Hey! Look at me! I’m in a state of serious sin!!!”

Offering this as an option prevents countless sacrilegious communions, and as such, I think is far better for the person’s soul, and potentially my soul as well.
 
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