Ask for a solution

[therese14]

Hello there,

I want to ask a solution.

I highly revere the catholic church, her laws and commandments.

Divorce is prohibited, and in the fourth commandment God asks as to honor thy father and thy mother.

If by any chance, our family members does not abide by the laws of the church, can we in any way go to a far away place to avoid temptation and avoid being hurt, provided that their needs are met? (We give them provisions such as a large sums of money, but deprive them of our presence.)

What if this condition (not having the same page about abiding in the laws of the church) cause us not to want to see them again?

Can we not see them again as long as we do not do anything negative?

 

[therese14]

To put it simply,

If we are not clicking with our family, can we live apart from them and never see them again?

What about living alone? I guess this does not hurt anybody…

I guess the laws of love can be done as neutral rather than positive.

Neutral as in not doing anything.

To avoid doing anything negative, then it would be contrary to God’s commandment.

Thanks

 

[OurLadysServant]

More information needed
What age are you?
Are you married?
Is your parents or husband abusive? How?

Hello there,

I want to ask a solution.

I highly revere the catholic church, her laws and commandments.

Divorce is prohibited, and in the fourth commandment God asks as to honor thy father and thy mother.

If by any chance, our family members does not abide by the laws of the church, can we in any way go to a far away place to avoid temptation and avoid being hurt, provided that their needs are met? (We give them provisions such as a large sums of money, but deprive them of our presence.)

What if this condition (not having the same page about abiding in the laws of the church) cause us not to want to see them again?

Can we not see them again as long as we do not do anything negative?

 

[therese14]

I am not married.

My parents are abusive, not so much but quite.

How?
For personal reasons I cannot elaborate.

Actually seeing the example of my parents, I am somewhat traumatized by marriage. I have plan to forgo it according to the counsel of st Paul in the bible. Living alone is not so bad.

I used want to be a nun, but now I feel unworthy and so sinful.
My family used to accuse me of running away from them in wanting to be a nun (not pure motivation, or God’s calling) . I got tired hearing it.
I wonder how st Augustine can be a bishop though.

I have read St Therese Lisieux’s Autobiography, Story of a Soul. She there told stories about her saintly family (Father, Mother and 4 sisters) and I am very much consoled by it because I see how if we live together according to God’s will, we can be happy and loved.

However, I see my family is far from it, and I am discouraged by my lineage, as even to see myself as a person. I want to be born of saints families or not to be born at all because I fear hell, I fear the Lord and I love him, but my family is a stumbling block that caused me to fall into sin and I want to run away.

I hope when I can get enough provision to give to my parents as my duty as a child when someday they are in old age, those provision would be enough.

I hope running away is not a sin…

That’s all for the info

Is running away from my family a sin?

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Without further info, I think it would be difficult for anyone here to tell you whether or not wanting to distance yourself from you family is a sin. There are legitimate reasons for doing so, however. A member of my family has tried to kill me several times. My pastor says avoiding contact with her is a matter of prudential judgment. The Lord does not want me to risk losing my life just because this person is related to me. Your best bet for counsel that fits your specific situation is to ask your priest, but in order to advise you correctly he will likely ask you for the detail you’re reluctant to disclose here.

To be clear, I don’t criticize you for not being more forthcoming (this is the Internet, after all ) and in no way am I trying to convince you to provide the information you have thus far withheld.

I used want to be a nun, but now I feel unworthy and so sinful. …] I wonder how st Augustine can be a bishop though.

St. Augustine was a bishop because God does not call the qualified. He qualifies those He calls. No one is more “worthy” of religious life than others. Nuns are sinners too.

I am discouraged by my lineage, as even to see myself as a person. I want to be born of saints families or not to be born at all because I fear hell, I fear the Lord and I love him, but my family is a stumbling block that caused me to fall into sin and I want to run away.

Many saints, perhaps most, came from families that were less than saintly. If that were not the case, we would see more instances of entire families being canonized. As it is, that’s quite rare.

While it’s true that those closest to us can be the biggest obstacles on our journey to God, they cannot make you a non-person. Your humanity is an undeniable fact. :yup:

Your priest or spiritual director should be able to help you with your sins. Mine do for me

A joyful Easter to you :tiphat:

 

[Bonnie]

If you are an adult, why are you living with your parents (as it seems from your posts)? You don’t have to answer that here, but ask yourself.

I have a favorite quote from “Waiting for Godot” by Samuel Beckett: “There’s man all over for you, blaming on his boots the faults of his feet.”

In other words, we tend to blame others for our problems. I have plenty of personal problems, but didn’t get anywhere with them until I stopped asking “why,” and stopped assigning blame. Only then was I able to accept responsibility for my emotions and actions.

To help me remember not to blame others, I often read my favorite version of the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the people
I cannot change,
the courage to change
the one I can,
and the wisdom to know
it’s me.

 

[therese14]

I am young, that is why I still live with my parents.

UpandUpaway, thanks for the advice. Prudent discretion, I like that.

Their abuse sometimes makes me wonder, why am I here, our family and lineage are not blessed like Abraham, I fear God’s punishment for such parents and descendants in the old testament, etc

If my parents don’t fear the Lord, can I still get blessings from God?

I want to live alone because I want to be holy.

Hopefully I can pray for this intentions daily. What I fear is how far do I neglect the 4th commandment by not being present with my parents, especially after their old age.

They are not yet old now, later, I guess.
I’m in my 20s they’re in their 50s

How far does obligation for a child toward parents goes if they cause us to sin and transgress other God’s commandments? I think running away might be a solution , after all.

 

[OurLadysServant]

We can help more if you list what type of abuse,

And roughly whEre are you -college, job,?

What about your finance, income, job, education?

Have you brothers or sisters younger?

Once you are above 18 yrs of age you are free,

I would set an appointment with a priest and tell him everything, and ask him can you move out, (and transfer money to them weekly?)

I am young, that is why I still live with my parents.

UpandUpaway, thanks for the advice. Prudent discretion, I like that.

Their abuse sometimes makes me wonder, why am I here, our family and lineage are not blessed like Abraham, I fear God’s punishment for such parents and descendants in the old testament, etc

If my parents don’t fear the Lord, can I still get blessings from God?

I want to live alone because I want to be holy.

Hopefully I can pray for this intentions daily. What I fear is how far do I neglect the 4th commandment by not being present with my parents, especially after their old age.

They are not yet old now, later, I guess.
I’m in my 20s they’re in their 50s

How far does obligation for a child toward parents goes if they cause us to sin and transgress other God’s commandments? I think running away might be a solution , after all.

 

[Bonnie]

If my parents don’t fear the Lord, can I still get blessings from God?

Your blessings do not depend on your parents religious beliefs. There are many holy people - saints even - who lived with parents & spouses who were unbelievers.

I want to live alone because I want to be holy.

Believe me, living alone will not guarantee holiness. Neither will being married, having children, or becoming a nun. It is not the externals, but what is in our hearts, that can lead us to holiness.

I’m in my 20s they’re in their 50s

How far does obligation for a child toward parents goes if they cause us to sin and transgress other God’s commandments? I think running away might be a solution , after all.

You’re in your 20s & talk about “running away?” You are old enough to be on your own, even if you are in college. It is possible to work, go to school, and live on one’s one (or with roommates). That is not running away, but simply being independent. And your parents cannot cause you to sin - your sin is your own.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

If my parents don’t fear the Lord, can I still get blessings from God?

God doesn’t withhold His blessings from one person because of something someone else did or didn’t do.

How far does obligation for a child toward parents goes if they cause us to sin and transgress other God’s commandments? I think running away might be a solution , after all.

Read CCC 2217 and be at peace.

 

[OurLadysServant]

Yes you can move out. Its not a sin

Once you are 18 you are not obliged to obey parents anymore. Its not a sin.

God doesn’t withhold His blessings from one person because of something someone else did or didn’t do.

Read CCC 2217 and be at peace.

 

[therese14]

Thank you so much for the answers.