Asked my husband to leave the house

[jennyr]

you have my prayers as well!!

God Bless

 

[LSK]

I know half this thread is gone due to the forum crash, but I wanted to take a quick minute to thank everyone for their prayers. I’m doing fine, I’ve moved and I’m rebuilding my business, home, and relationships with friends/family. This is still not the outcome I would have liked or expected, but I’m determined to make the best of it.

Eucharistic adoration and MANY rosaries have made this time bearable for me. Sad that it took such a bad event, but I’m closer to God and the Church than I’ve been in years.

Thanks and God Bless,
c

out of tough times and strife comes great good. Hang in there, darlin!

 

[Nicole]

I’m sorry that you are having to go through this, but it sounds like you are handling it with a lot of grace. God Bless,

Nicole

 

[crystal]

I’m impressed by your strength and perseverence. I wish you lots of happiness in the near future.

Crystal

 

[mwgirl]

Cecilia,
My prayers go out to you with all of my heart. I agree with one of the posts that recommended the Retrouvaille week-end (www.Retrouvaille.com)). My husband and I went through a TERRIBLE, expensive divorce over the past year (my bill was $40,000 to be exact). The legal system is something I wsh upon no one. Once it gets started, it’s hard to stop and there is NO regard for the sacred bond that marriage is. After our divorce was final on June 30, 2006, we started FINALLY talking. We realized a lot of things, especially me. We forgave each other for many mistakes made. We started therapy together and went to a Retrouvaille week-end a couple of week’s ago. In our situation, we have a 3 year old daughter. After her birth I experienced anxiety attacks and depression and was too embarrassed and proud to ask for help. I was living in denial and shame. The more I isolated, the angrier my husband got. He begged for me to get help, but I refused. This eventually led to him treating me very poorly…name calling, outbursts of anger, etc., which made my depression even worse. I panicked and one day had him removed from our house. I was scared for me and my daughter and the environment we had created. One thing led to another, long story short, we are now divorced. I am in individual counseling for my anxiety and depression. I have taken responsibilty for everything that I contributed to in the demise of our marriage. I am telling this story in hopes that you can know that you are NOT alone. I know how it feels to be married and not know what to do next. I need to say this, if I could do things differently, I would have gone to Retrouvaille and turned even more to the Church for help BEFORE getting the legal system involved. No one wins in court…no one. You and I have different situations, but we both made a covenant to God and to our husbands in marriage. I now realize that EVERYTHING must be done to try to preserve the marriage if at all possible. God does produce miracles, I really believe that. It does take two for this to happen, so let’s all pray that God opens your husband’s eyes as God opened mine. I don’t know what will come of my situation here with my husband, I only know that we are making efforts to follow God’s will. I will be praying for you. You are not alone and are a special child of God. Please at least go to the Retrouvaille website to see what you think. If I can be of ANY more help, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I feel maybe I went through my awful mess to maybe help other couples avoid the pain and trauma the court system and divorce brought to my husband and me. God bless you.

 

[Hudson_Gillette]

A view from the other side:

If you are really serious then you have to step back from the situation and evaluate it objectively. I see a lot of danger signals from your side too.

Beat him to the bank huh? Then you already made up your mind.

Stringent demands? Nobody likes to be dictated to.

Counceling? That is a woman’s sport. Men have little use or respect for the whole business.

Separate rooms? Not so unusual. I refused to sleep with my ex for nearly 5 years. No, I was not tired. I wasn’t busy either. She was simply a viscious harpy that could never get enough of spite and malice. I couldn’t stand the thought of touching her. And no I didn’t cheat on her. My hands were full with the one I had.

Now, I am not saying that you are as bad as all that. I swear nobody but her could be. What I will say is that you are fully invested in the feminist dogma that says that it has to be all his fault because he is a man. The fact is that times are changing again. Men your age don’t knuckle under to threats and dramatics the way men of my generation did. Women just don’t know that yet. Even if they did they would proceed as usual because the feminists taught them no other way.

My advice to you? Ask your grandmother about it. She will remember what it was like to deal with an intelligent man who saw himself as such.

Richbansha, where are you since April? I wish you’d come back to the forum. You have a clear mind and express yourself well. I agree they always think it is the man’s fault these days. I cannot buy into that.

 

[cecilia97]

Richbansha, where are you since April? I wish you’d come back to the forum. You have a clear mind and express yourself well. I agree they always think it is the man’s fault these days. I cannot buy into that.

When the “man” breaks up his girlfriend’s 13 year marriage and totally refuses his own wife any type of physical contact, stops going to church, hides money, and lies during counseling, yes, I’d say it’s his fault. Don’t judge people so harshly or one day it will boomerang on you.

I’m done with this thread, every time I come back here to say thank you to someone for their advice and prayers, I get attitude about how women need to sacrifice more and try harder to please their deadbeat husbands.

c

 

[Ailina]

Hi Cecilia, your situation sounds very much like my own, except my husband finally left after I objected to his plans to start dating other women while still married. This was in addition to the lover he already had in another city. The whole story is actually much worse than I’m telling, but I don’t want to get into the sordid details. He honestly thought I would go along with his plans.

The sad thing is that he is the father of my children. I pray his lack of morals and total depravity don’t get passed on to them, particularly my sons. I don’t know what happened to him, but he has certainly changed from the person I married 16 years ago.