Asking for a deeper penance after confession?

[hausofferni]

Can I ask my priest for a deeper penance after I have confessed? I know quite a few ways of doing penance, but I’m not sure if they are appropriate, My priest usually gives me an Our Father, or The Creed, and sometimes 10 Hail Mary’s, but I don’t think this is enough. I want to pay for the sins that I have committed, suffer for doing them, and learn while doing penance. Can I ask him after he has forgiven my sins?

 

[PaulfromIowa]

We can always do penance for our sins without being assigned to by our Confessor.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Paul is correct. You can add to the penance assigned by your priest. I know you are scrupulous, however, and I wonder if the desire to do more penance might be related to that. I encourage you wholeheartedly to seek the guidance of a priest to assist you in these matters.

My priest usually gives me an Our Father, or The Creed, and sometimes 10 Hail Mary’s, but I don’t think this is enough.

With all due respect…why do you think you know better than your confessor, who sits by you in persona Christi?

 

[AttendeDomine]

The other two responses were wonderful, especially the insight into scrupulosity.

But just to add something: the penance that Father assigns is just meant to be a start, it’s not intended to be a single action directed towards remitting all temporal punishment due to sin. While priests should assign a penance that’s proportional to the sin committed, we should always strive to do penance with some regularity simply as a matter of course.

Having said that, the scrupulosity aspect apparently in play really does mean you should be obedient to your Confessor, and strive not to hold yourself to standards that are not valid for someone in your state of life.

 

[Boy_Wonder]

Can I ask my priest for a deeper penance after I have confessed? I know quite a few ways of doing penance, but I’m not sure if they are appropriate, My priest usually gives me an Our Father, or The Creed, and sometimes 10 Hail Mary’s, but I don’t think this is enough. I want to pay for the sins that I have committed, suffer for doing them, and learn while doing penance. Can I ask him after he has forgiven my sins?

A big part of doing penance is subjecting your will. Do exactly the penance your confessor has prescribed. If you want to perform further mortifications, it’s always best to have a priest or spiritual director suggest them. Penances and mortifications of our choosing can enforce self-will rather than mortify it. They can also become a source of spiritual pride. The harder mortifications aren’t fasting or deprivations, instead they’re yielding cheerfully in matters of personal preference without becoming resentful, not engaging in an argument, etc. In each little occasion of our lives there lies a great opportunity for hidden interior sacrifice. These can accomplish far more than fasting, etc.

 

[Bonnie]

A big part of doing penance is subjecting your will.

Amen! The greatest penance for many of us is simple obedience.

 

[porthos11]

Can I ask my priest for a deeper penance after I have confessed? I know quite a few ways of doing penance, but I’m not sure if they are appropriate, My priest usually gives me an Our Father, or The Creed, and sometimes 10 Hail Mary’s, but I don’t think this is enough. I want to pay for the sins that I have committed, suffer for doing them, and learn while doing penance. Can I ask him after he has forgiven my sins?

I would say no, do not ask. This cultivates the virtue of obedience.

 

[Nigel7]

I want to pay for the sins that I have committed, suffer for doing them,

You cannot pay the debt for the sins you committed. Christ paid for the sins you committed. He suffered and died for it. It’s the mercy of God that all he asks of you is that you pray just one Our Father as penance. Accept with an obedient heart the penance the priest gives you.

 

[AKDee]

I sometimes feel this way because I read that confessors often do penances on behalf of the people that confessed to them, and if my confessor is doing penance to pay for my sins, that would make me feel pretty bad. I would rather do it myself.

I don’t think penances have to be proportionate to the sin- in many cases, I don’t even see how they could be- but I do like penances that help me to grow in my faith, obedience, love of God, humility, etc.

 

[Mystrx]

I would say no, do not ask. This cultivates the virtue of obedience.

This is how I feel as well. Also have you’ve sought out a spiritual director yet, it would probably help with your scrupulosity?

 

[smead2942]

Can I ask my priest for a deeper penance after I have confessed? I know quite a few ways of doing penance, but I’m not sure if they are appropriate, My priest usually gives me an Our Father, or The Creed, and sometimes 10 Hail Mary’s, but I don’t think this is enough. I want to pay for the sins that I have committed, suffer for doing them, and learn while doing penance. Can I ask him after he has forgiven my sins?

I don’t see why not. I know many priests that don’t give penance at all.

 

[Bookcat]

Yes you may.

 

[Bookcat]

Can I ask my priest for a deeper penance after I have confessed? I know quite a few ways of doing penance, but I’m not sure if they are appropriate, My priest usually gives me an Our Father, or The Creed, and sometimes 10 Hail Mary’s, but I don’t think this is enough. I want to pay for the sins that I have committed, suffer for doing them, and learn while doing penance. Can I ask him after he has forgiven my sins?

I would not use the phrase “pay” for the sins…but yes you MAY ask for more penance - better to do it when he gives you the penance before absolution.

Catechism:

Satisfaction

1459 Many sins wrong our neighbor. One must do what is possible in order to repair the harm (e.g., return stolen goods, restore the reputation of someone slandered, pay compensation for injuries). Simple justice requires as much. But sin also injures and weakens the sinner himself, as well as his relationships with God and neighbor. Absolution takes away sin, but it does not remedy all the disorders sin has caused.62 Raised up from sin, the sinner must still recover his full spiritual health by doing something more to make amends for the sin: he must “make satisfaction for” or “expiate” his sins. This satisfaction is also called “penance.”

1460 The penance the confessor imposes must take into account the penitent’s personal situation and must seek his spiritual good. It must correspond as far as possible with the gravity and nature of the sins committed. It can consist of prayer, an offering, works of mercy, service of neighbor, voluntary self-denial, sacrifices, and above all the patient acceptance of the cross we must bear. Such penances help configure us to Christ, who alone expiated our sins once for all. They allow us to become co-heirs with the risen Christ, "provided we suffer with him."63

The satisfaction that we make for our sins, however, is not so much ours as though it were not done through Jesus Christ. We who can do nothing ourselves, as if just by ourselves, can do all things with the cooperation of "him who strengthens" us. Thus man has nothing of which to boast, but all our boasting is in Christ . . . in whom we make satisfaction by bringing forth "fruits that befit repentance." These fruits have their efficacy from him, by him they are offered to the Father, and through him they are accepted by the Father.64

scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c2a4.htm#VII

 

[TimothyH]

It is important to forgive yourself. If God is willing to forgive us then who are we to not forgive ourselves?

I am a perfectionist. My confessor knows this so he gives me penance and says, “That’s all I want you to do. No more.”

The LORD is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
(Psalm 103:8)

God forgives you. Do the penance you are given by God through the priest and rejoice in God’s mercy.

-Tim-