Asking For A Priest's Forgiveness

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ATeutonicKnight

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This weekend I’m going to confess to a Priest that I said bad things about him, and I’m going to ask him to forgive me for it. Usually I would do this behind the screen, but since I’m going to ask for this Priest’s forgiveness should I do it face to face instead? I have some very embarrassing sins as well so I’d rather do this behind the screen, but I wanted to know if this would be okay considering the circumstances?
 
I’m no expert but isn’t a sin to speak bad of people anyways 🤷 cause it kinda goes against God’s greatest commandment to love your neighbor as yourself God bless.
 
CountrySteve said:
I’m no expert but isn’t a sin to speak bad of people anyways 🤷 cause it kinda goes against God’s greatest commandment to love your neighbor as yourself God bless.
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Yes, it can be a sin to speak ill of people for many reasons. Sometimes it’s mortal and sometimes venial; however, I don’t think that was the question they were asking. I think they were asking a specific question about whether to confess face to face because the person on the other side of the screen would be part of their confession.

To the OP: Totally my opinion here, but I would treat this in two different ways. If it were me, I would handle my confession as I always do and confess behind the screen. I probably wouldn’t even mention which priest, just say, “I said some disparaging and negative things about a member of the clergy to other people and participated in the sin of gossip and possibly denegrated their character.” After confession and at another time I would personally apologize for the occurance to the priest. I admire your desire to charitably apologize in person. I think it is the right thing to do, but I think you can do it individually and not in the context of your confession.

Just my two cents. I hope it helps.
 
Boulder257 said:
Yes, it can be a sin to speak ill of people for many reasons. Sometimes it’s mortal and sometimes venial; however, I don’t think that was the question they were asking. I think they were asking a specific question about whether to confess face to face because the person on the other side of the screen would be part of their confession.

To the OP: Totally my opinion here, but I would treat this in two different ways. If it were me, I would handle my confession as I always do and confess behind the screen. I probably wouldn’t even mention which priest, just say, “I said some disparaging and negative things about a member of the clergy to other people and participated in the sin of gossip and possibly denegrated their character.” After confession and at another time I would personally apologize for the occurance to the priest. I admire your desire to charitably apologize in person. I think it is the right thing to do, but I think you can do it individually and not in the context of your confession.

Just my two cents. I hope it helps.
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ATeutonicKnight said:
This weekend I’m going to confess to a Priest that I said bad things about him, and I’m going to ask him to forgive me for it. Usually I would do this behind the screen, but since I’m going to ask for this Priest’s forgiveness should I do it face to face instead? I have some very embarrassing sins as well so I’d rather do this behind the screen, but I wanted to know if this would be okay considering the circumstances?
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I confessed once, being angry at a priest and he gave me the biggest penance I have ever had! 😃

It wasn’t that bad though- 10 days of reading psalm 103 once a each day
 
ringil said:
I confessed once, being angry at a priest and he gave me the biggest penance I have ever had! 😃

It wasn’t that bad though- 10 days of reading psalm 103 once a each day
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That’s the biggest penance you’ve ever had? The biggest penance I’ve ever had is a life-long penance of praying to the Holy Spirit everyday. It’s been about five to seven months and I’m still doing it. 😃
 
You should apologize to him personally outside the confessional. That way he can enjoy it!
 
runningdude said:
You should apologize to him personally outside the confessional. That way he can enjoy it!
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But that wouldn’t invoke sacramental absolution!🙂

Question: Are you sure you would be confessing to the same priest, if you don’t see him?

Assuming the answer is yes, you don’t need him to see you, to gain absolution. But to repair your association with him, you would, IMASO, need to see him face to face; this is not the same as absolution.

God Bless and ICXC NIKA
 
At least I can see its in your concious, and its bothering you!! HAHA so you can have true repentance, and hopefully scared not to do it again 🙂
 
Apologise before going to confession, then go into confession.
 
PiousTemplar said:
Apologise before going to confession, then go into confession.
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While this would be preferred, my family refuses to go to Church too early, so even if I’m lucky enough to get to Church in time for Confession, it still won’t be possible. My plan right now is to simply confess my sins and later apologize when I ask him if I can be an Altar Server in the parish.

However, I’m confused as to what I should say. Should I say “Father, I said some bad things about you, and I ask for your forgiveness.”?
 
I think that there may be a problem with the sacramental seal if you apologize during the confession. Last month the priest, I was going face to face, wanted my opinion on his homily delivery. He carefully said, “Before we start your confession, I have a question.” After I answered him he said "Alright, now we will start you r confession. " I wondered why he said that, then later realized that if I answered that in confession he could not use my answer.

Maybe you can do the same. Tell him, “Before I start my confession I want to apologize to you because…”
 
ATeutonicKnight said:
This weekend I’m going to confess to a Priest that I said bad things about him, and I’m going to ask him to forgive me for it. Usually I would do this behind the screen, but since I’m going to ask for this Priest’s forgiveness should I do it face to face instead? I have some very embarrassing sins as well so I’d rather do this behind the screen, but I wanted to know if this would be okay considering the circumstances?
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I have no comment on your question, TeutonicKnight, you have already received good counsel from wise members on this Forum. I just wanted to express my appreciation for your faithfulness and diligence in practicing your faith. Every one of your posts I have read displays a sincere faith and desire to grow in holiness and obedience. You are an inspiration! May God continue to guide you in your vocation discernment.
 
Well, you can always confess generically - I said bad things about a person or whatever, and then, after confession, apologize personally.
 
ATeutonicKnight said:
That’s the biggest penance you’ve ever had? The biggest penance I’ve ever had is a life-long penance of praying to the Holy Spirit everyday. It’s been about five to seven months and I’m still doing it. 😃
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Priests should not be giving heavy penances. They are taught this in seminary. Giving heavy penances is not consistent with how the Church views the abundance of Christ’s forgivness.

A good priest is “a lion at the pulpit and a lamb in the confessional.”
 
ringil said:
Priests should not be giving heavy penances. They are taught this in seminary. Giving heavy penances is not consistent with how the Church views the abundance of Christ’s forgivness.

A good priest is “a lion at the pulpit and a lamb in the confessional.”
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It wasn’t a heavy penance. It’s not that bad at all. In fact, it can take mere seconds if I want it to. I make it last a minute or two because I enjoy doing it, but he gave me a really good confession. It’s helped me a lot. Besides, I think he meant to say that it was only for seven days, because everyone else I asked said they only had it for one week, but it doesn’t matter. You should pray to the Holy Spirit everyday, penance or not.
 
ATeutonicKnight said:
It wasn’t a heavy penance. It’s not that bad at all. In fact, it can take mere seconds if I want it to. I make it last a minute or two because I enjoy doing it, but he gave me a really good confession. It’s helped me a lot. Besides, I think he meant to say that it was only for seven days, because everyone else I asked said they only had it for one week, but it doesn’t matter. You should pray to the Holy Spirit everyday, penance or not.
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Yes, I don’t call on the Holy Spirit nearly enough. 🙂
 
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