Asking for a sign?

[Crown_of_Stars]

I haven’t posted here for quite a while, because I’ve been taken up with other things. But I came here tonight to talk about something that has been troubling me for some time. The last time I posted was a little over a month ago, and it was for the prayer intention of a friend of mine who had died. This lady was elderly, and very dear to me, and I knew her for a few years. She was Catholic, and her faith was strong, I went to her funeral Mass and it was beautiful, and I cried for her every day. It’s taken up until very recently for me to feel a little better about the loss of her, though it’s still hard because she was such a part of my life. I’ve prayed that I will receive a sign that she is all right and at peace, but I’ve had nothing so far. I’ve prayed about it nearly every night, asking that God, through Jesus, might allow this lady to come to me in a dream and let me know she’s all right. I always end the prayer by saying “If it is in Your will, please allow her this ability”…but nothing happens and I feel cold and dead inside. Is it just simply wrong to ask for these kinds of things? I don’t feel it is, because I cared so much about her. I have no reason in particular to fear that she may not be in heaven, or at least purgatory, but one can never know what someone might have had in their private life that they might have had to answer for upon death. Only God knows, only God judges. What I’m asking, though, is if it’s wrong of me to keep asking for a sign, whether my friend is granted the ability to “come to me”, or whether God Himself gives me this sign? And why do you think I may not be receiving any kind of sign in so long, after asking in the way that I have?

Thank you,
Kathryn

 

[Bob_Crowley]

I suppose one thing to keep in mind was Christ’s warning to the Pharisees and Scribes of HIs time. - Matthew 12:39 NIV

He answered, "A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah.

However that’s not quite what you’re asking for. They wanted Him to perform some sort of miracle to justify His claims to be the Son of God.

That’s not your issue. You already believe that.

However to be consistently requesting a “sign” from God when by your own admission your friend was “…Catholic, and her faith was strong…” shows a lack of faith.

Do you take God at His word or don’t you?

Having said that, God may well send some sort of “sign”. But if He does, it will probably come at a time when you don’t expect it, and more than likely in some way you don’t expect.

I had a lot of admiration and respect for my old Presbyterian pastor, who died way back in 1992. Since then I’ve had him turn up on occasion and say something, usually relevant to a subject I’m thinking about. He’ll turn up in very brief vision at night. And it’s probably happened about half a dozen times in over 20 years, so God doesn’t allow this sort of exchange on a daily basis.

But I haven’t asked for it, or if I did, I’ve been seeking clarification on certain issues, and not confirmation of his particular salvation.

Finally she’s got eternity in front of her, and you’re pestering God within a month or so of her death. I think you might need to develop a bit of patience.

I’d just give it a miss if I were you and move onto other things.

 

[phil_at_dayboro]

Signs may or may not happen, after my dad passed,my mother rang me and said she saw dad, he said he was fine,it lasted only a couple of seconds ,then he kind of disappeared into the wall, then after a while she said she wasn’t sure if she really did see him,
Or was it just her imagination playing tricks on her ,
In the end,we will never know , just need to keep and strengthen our faith,

 

[seagal]

I can certainly understand your grief and your longing to know that your beloved friend is all right. I went through the same thing when my husband died 7 years ago. I was very worried about his eternity. Although I didn’t get a sign about that, I do know that God can and does still give us signs. I’ve witnessed it on other occasions. My mistake (and maybe yours too) was asking for contact with a deceased person. This is defined as necromancy and is forbidden by the church (CCC par. 2116). Not that those who have passed can’t make themselves known (I honestly don’t know if they do or if it’s only wishful thinking on our part). But we are wrong to look for them. As Bob mentioned in his post, if your friend was a faithful Catholic you have no reason to worry about her. Continue to pray for her. That’s what got me through the first years of widowhood, praying the rosary every day for my husband. You could also ask for another kind of sign, rather that seeing your friend in a dream. Of course, God may or may not grant you this sign. He may be calling on you to deepen your faith and trust in his mercy. I’m praying for you.

 

[Eruvande]

First of all, I am very sorry for your loss. You’re had good advice here already, I would just add that instead of asking for a sign you should perhaps ask for peace about the whole thing. It is still very soon after your loss, give yourself some time to come to terms with it. I’ll pray for you.

 

[Irishmom2]

I am sorry for your loss OP. But as someone else said already, you need not worry about your friend, she was faithful, went to mass and had a Catholic funeral mass. It is not your worry whether she is alright or not. Leave that up to God. When people want a sign that their loved one is alright, it seems more like the person asking needs some sort of healing or peace. Their wanting a sign is for their benefit, not for the deceased. Instead, pray for them, remember them, and seek comfort in God, not in a sign. May God bless you and bring you peace.

 

[mikekle]

About 20 yrs ago, I had a good friend die in an auto accident, she was 19 yrs old at the time, she was not catholic nor religious, I was pretty good friends with her and her death hit me very hard, I asked God for proof she was OK , I dont remember how long it was after, but I can still vividly remember a dream I had where I believe he answered me, I had this dream over 20 yrs ago, but I can still see it like it happened last night!

Without going into every detail about the dream, in short there was an older man with white hair, cut very short, he had on white shirt and pants, I was in a room with him, he told me “she is with us now, and is fine”.

I felt very comforted by this dream, I can also remember every detail about the room this took place in, usually dreams are forgotten by the middle of the day, for me to be able to recall this particular one for so long, proves to me, it was indeed a sign.

 

[Crown_of_Stars]

Thankyou, everyone, for your replies and condolences. I’ve taken them to heart. Especially the post about my faith possibly being tested, and that my asking for a “sign” may be showing Him that I have a lack of faith and trust. I agree, it could be. At church tonight, I lit a candle for my friend and said a prayer as soon as I knelt before the Mass started. I said “All I ask is that she is in comfort. I ask this through Jesus Christ.” I’m more at peace, and deep down I feel she is all right and even sometimes watching over me, in a sense. I’ve asked that she knows I love her and am praying for her. I did have something happen, right the day of her funeral, which I wondered may have been a sign. I had patiently asked to know that she is at peace during her Mass, and afterward, something delayed me in coming outside. Then when I did leave the church, I met up, by unexpected chance, with another lady who was very close to her too, who knew me but I didn’t know her. It was odd, because I didn’t know how she would have known me, but she seemed to, asked if I was who she thought I was, I said yes, and she said our meeting up was “God’s timing.” I ended up staying with this lady for the rest of that morning, and we talked a lot about my friend. I’ve wondered ever since then if it could have been His way of showing me, and that I need not ask for signs anymore. As another poster said, you just can’t really know, but you can hope.
Also to add that I have had two vivid dreams about her ever since her passing. In these dreams, I somehow knew she had already passed on, yet she was alive and I hugged her and told her I loved her.

 

[Bob_Crowley]

… Also to add that I have had two vivid dreams about her ever since her passing. In these dreams, I somehow knew she had already passed on, yet she was alive and I hugged her and told her I loved her.

It seems to me you’ve already had your “signs”. I don’t know about you, but I don’t remember “dreams”. Most mornings when I wake up I wouldn’t even know if I had a “dream”.

But when I get what might be called a “vision” or “spiritual dream”, then I do remember it.

I can remember my pastor turning up a couple of times in “visions”, and I remember them, and what he said, very much to the point about something, and with not an ounce of the nonsense that comprises most dreams.