Asking for spiritual direction

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as1989

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First, hello! First time poster, long time lurker!

I have been on retreat with my college chapel (which has an excellent chaplain!). Since returning, I think that it would be beneficial for me to have some spiritual direction. Cradle Catholic, fell away for a while, have been re-exploring and re-discovering the faith for the pat two or three years.

I would like to ask the chaplain if he would be my spiritual director. Thing is, I’m not sure how to do it - would you have any tips, or a draft email template for asking? I’ve never asked for direction before, so I’m a bit baffled!

Another question: On retreat, this person acted as a confessor - is it appropriate for him to take on the role of director?

Thank you, and blessings to you all!
 
I would just ask him as you explained in your post. Simple and straightforward!
 
I agree, just ask him. But be prepared for the possibility of him declining to help. I have asked several priests and they all have declined. No direction, even steering towards spiritual reading recommendations.

It’s why I lurk here, too. Hoping for insight, to delve into my faith deeper, it’s why I talk to dead people, the Saints!
 
We have a very significant crisis of vocations today. The chances of getting a priest to help with spiritual direction is small in such places where a priest is overwhelmed with duties.
Often, the best chance is with a retired priest who is still in the parish.

I would not suggest an email. Priests get all sorts of things via the internet.

Two approaches - one, find him and ask personally.
Second is easier - find when he is offering Confession and after the sacrament is over, stay for a minute: “Father, I was wondering if you meet with me for spiritual direction?” I’d still guess most of the time he can’t do it.

The other thing I just thought of - if you find a monastery nearby or a retreat house, the priests there are the opposite - that is, usually very open for scheduling spiritual direction because that is what they do.

There are some places that offer spiritual direction on-line. That’s another option. (Not sure where, and I would prefer face-to-face).

Spiritual direction from laypersons is ok also. There are a few that advertise on-line but it’s relatively expensive (for me).
 
Casilda said:
It’s why I lurk here, too. Hoping for insight, to delve into my faith deeper, it’s why I talk to dead people, the Saints!
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That is a good idea - the Saints will definitely come to our help.

So, you can build your own DIY spiritual direction - not the best way, but better than nothing.
  1. Go to Mass as much as you can. Listen to the sermon. Sometimes the priest has some time after Mass and you can bring up a small point here or there.
  2. Confession regularly. This is not supposed to be spiritual direction, but again, you can bring up a point or two around your sin and work on virtue and get help.
  3. Pray a lot - opening your concerns to the Lord. He will be your director and guide you.
  4. Do spiritual reading. And not only pray to the Saints, but read a bit of their words (lots of books on excerpts from the saints, daily meditations, etc.
When you put all of that together, you’re getting 80% of what you’d get in monthly spiritual direction.

Eventually, you will find that you have to work against sin and for virtue. You find your sins through examination - and the virtues counter that.

A last thought - going on retreat once a year (as you already did!) is an excellent substitute and can carry you a long way.
 
I agree with everyone else. Just ask. And if he isn’t available, ask if there is someone he can recommend. There may be someone good who you don’t know about.

If this is unsuccessful, try a nearby monastery, convent, or retreat house. For a retreat house, spiritual direction may be a service they offer (and ask for a donation). A monastery or convent may have someone available. Retired religious can be great sources of wisdom and holiness.
 
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