Asking for spiritual growth advice from those who've negotiated the PTSD obstructions in their spiritual journey

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InvisibiliaNaCa

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I’m am an adult, thankfully. The first 18 years 7 months and two days of my life were extremely difficult. The person who was my guardian was completely amoral in every way. He did everything possible to me hurt me physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually and mentally. Up to and including placing my life in grave danger of great physical harm with a risk of death on uncounted occasions. I walked away with absolutely no intrinsic understanding of right and wrong. It can only be due to a merciful Christ that i am here today. I thank Christ for that.

I want advice on how others negotiated the PTSD obstacles that affect ones growth in the church. I do embrace praying and talking to Jesus, and sometimes Mary, so I go to the church and go before the Host. Sometimes I cry. Because I feel so separated from others. It’s difficult to interact with others in church at a meaningful level. Sometimes I’m over whelmed by all the fears. And I’ve always to be mindful of my wanting to run away and hide(a survival thing I think). I’m a very solitary individual. Though I do pray about.

Not that I’ve made no progress, I have. I have a heart for others even from a distance. I pray for others. I was so happy when I made my first confession last year. I’ve tried to talk to the priest. But, too few priest and too many congregants.

I’m grateful for all the blessings. Christ has helped me to mature and grow in ways that should have happened when I was a child and teen. No easy journey as an adult. I really don’t want get to get too detailed about the past. I try not to remember most it . I just want to look forward to the future with my mom Mary, our mother, and Christ in heaven.

I do at times have difficulty with forgiveness and hatred for my “guardian” for the extreme burdens he placed on my shoulders. I do want to forgive him. It’s the right thing to do. But my emotions are tangled up.

Thanks for any spiritual guidance.

Hope this is in the right category.
 
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Praying for you and that you find the answers that you seek,God bless.
 
It sounds like you’re on to a good start.
Psychological counseling is good too.
Journaling is good.
One of the biggest challenges for people from abusive backgrounds is forming relationships because boundaries are often a problem (a person trusts everyone or they trust no one).
:pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2: for you
 
My deepest sympathy for you, who has endured such sufferings and hostility, Jesus loves you so much and who is much closer to you than before, He can change things for the better, from something evil to something wonderful, as he has done for you, and continues to do so, well you need a inner healing service or try to attend an inner healing retreat, if possible,so that your childhood hurt feeling and wounds of the heart and soul would heal as time passes,

I just remembered about St Dominic Savio who is a good example decided of making Jesus and Mother Mary his only friends, Try to read Pslam 23 and Pslam 27 each day, even if it’s difficult please try to say the forgiveness prayer till you have reconciled and feel peace in your heart, remember “to err is human and to forgive is Divine” ,so Jesus will give you the Grace to forgive. You have the desire to forgive that’s what Jesus is looking at, don’t worry, you’ll have more spiritual Brothers and Sisters with you in your journey of life and here at CAF God Bless
http://www.donboscowest.org/saints/dominicsavio

Growing Faith
As the day of his first Communion drew near, Dominic wrote down four resolutions, remarkably mature thoughts of a seven year old:
  1. I will go to Confession and Communion as often as my confessor will allow.
  2. I will sanctify Sundays and holy days in a special way.
  3. Jesus and Mary will be my friends.
  4. Death, but not sin.
    As we shall see Dominic lived by these resolutions.
    Imagine a boy of ten trudging a total of twelve miles to and from school every day for a whole school year. That’s what Dominic Savio did, because the school he attended was three miles away from home, and he had to go and come twice a day. On one very hot day an elderly man met him and asked, “Aren’t you afraid to walk so far alone on this country road?”
    “I’m not alone,” replied Dominic. "I have my guardian angel with me. "
    “But surely you find the journey long and tiresome in this very hot weather!”
    “I work for a Master who pays well.”
    “And who is your master?”
    “God is my master.”
    While full of energy and ready to join in any game with his friends, Dominic’s health was weak. The long walk every day took its toll. The next year his parents decided to move from Murialdo to another village called Mondonio to be closer to school.
 
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Romans 8:28-39
28 We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn within a large family.[v] 30 And those whom he predestined he also called; and those whom he called he also justified; and those whom he justified he also glorified.
31 What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? 32 He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? 33 Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us.[w] 35 Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all day long;
we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
 
Thank you. I believe in the goodness that flows from prayer! Thank you.
 
Thank you. I’m am always grateful for prayers. I believe in prayer.
I do journal. It’s very good for learning. I do see a therapist on occasion, when it’s a must. I try to exercise caution with therapist. They’re not Catholic and/or usually secular.

Thank you
 
I’ve read your posts and the attached link several times since yesterday. I was deeply moved as i prayed and meditated on them.

What is this merit we gain by offering our suffering to Christ? I do know that at the moment I read that we can offer our suffering to Christ something beautiful happened inside me. Wanting to offer my suffering to Christ lightened my mind, heart and soul. That such an action is possible makes sense. The missing something I feel/think that I needed to hear. To know that while it’s nothing compared what Christ had done for me, for us, it feels like a strange healing that seems counter intuitive. Like quantum mechanics and the subatomic world of particle physics.

I was baptized into the Church. But was kept away from the church by my guardian. So my mind eyes are not naturally Catholic. I have difficulty following along on Sundays. Hence my question about merit. What is it? How is it that our suffering counts for something?

Thank you for giving me something special to see. To embrace.
 
Hi @InvisibiliaNaCa

We can merit God’s help and Grace for ourselves and for others and be closer to Him by accepting the sufferings He sends us. But, to gain merit, we must be patient and resigned under suffering.we should do all for the love of Jesus,we’ll come to a point when we begin to enjoy suffering! for the love of Jesus But, we should imitate Our Lord in the Garden. Although His suffering was far beyond anything we can even imagine, He cried out: “Father, not my will, but Thine, be done!”,like Mother Mary In Luke 1:38. the Our Father,He taught us to say: “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Jesus who resigns himself joyfully to the will of God in sickness, death, poverty, persecution and other misfortunes obtains true peace of heart;likewise when we too will accept the will of God, we’ll be blessed even on this earth if we do it. Your heart will be full of Heavenly joy and peace,that’s what we all want.

Yes, we can offer all our sufferings, each and everything, right from the smallest, to the most insignificant and lest of them all, whether they are physical, psychological hurts etc. Our thoughts, words and actions, united to the sufferings of Jesus His life and death with all its merits through the Immaculate Heart of Mary either for family members, conversion of souls or a particular person, the world the Catholic Church, for the Pope, Priest and nuns, children, even for the sacrilegious, Holy Communion various and innumerable and endless are the list, as an act of love and reparations for Holy souls in Purgatory likewise will gain an innumerable Graces for them and yourself which will be rewarded in Heaven like pearls and Diamonds and greater Glory in Heaven. It is said In Matthew 10:42 and whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones in the name of a disciple—truly I tell you, none of these will lose their reward.” ,how much more will Jesus reward you for your deeds.

God often sends physical evil to sinners in order to bring them back into the right way. It is a warning to them. Two great Saints who were converted through bodily sickness were St. Francis of Assisi and St. Ignatius of Loyola.

We find it hard to accept the fact, but sufferings can be a favor and should be welcomed. This is so far from being the thinking of the modern world that we must especially ask God for a greater faith to be able to see things as they really are. When sufferings are patiently accepted, the punishment due for sin is diminished or cancelled. The more we suffer in this world, the less we will have to pay in the next life, in purgatory. As Saint Paul said: “I am filled with comfort; I overflow with joy in all our troubles” (2 Cor. 7:4). “For I reckon that the sufferings of the present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory to come that will be revealed in us”. And Saint Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits, spoke from experience when he said: “When God sends us some great trouble, it is a sign that He designs great things for us, to raise us to great holiness”. Saint Ignatius found his way back to God while he was convalescing after being seriously wounded during the Siege of Pamplona.
 
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@InvisibiliaNaCa Continuation… Finally you can offer even the chores you do like washing,( you can pray in you mind as i wash this dish, wash away my sins and the sins of the whole world, for the conversions of poor sinners, including my sins ,dishes to sweeping (as i sweep the floor, sweep away my wounds my sorrows by your precious blood Jesus give me your Grace to accept every thing in my life for the Love of You…add your own words), dusting (Jesus am only dust and ashes, wrenched creature forgive me all my sins give me the your Grace to love and forgive those who hurt me,thank You Jesus for Loving me So much ) and swabbing or mopping (as i mop cleanse my mind body and soul make me pure and Holy etc ), walking (walk with me Jesus the narrow way to calvary) each and every action is a Grace and a Merit, when we do it for the Love of Jesus and Mary,so It becomes so easy and efforts less.

Please feel free to ask questions,God Bless!
 
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Greetings of peace Francis,

I’ve heard the “be thankful/be grateful for your suffering” phrase. I could not understand how such suffering merited thanks. Not when I considered from a statistical standpoint that others with similar backgrounds lose their minds, become drug addicts, committ suicide, use others, become serial killers, hidden sociopaths in socially dressed masks, …and worse.

When I learned from your posts that my suffering can help others by merely accepting the suffering with love and grace… I’m like, wow! Me? Little me. Who never felt dignity, love, self worth as a human being can be useful to the service of Jesus and Mary and Mother Church and to others by living a life of prayer, that you exampled in your post, and by accepting with love, and offering, all those terrible years of suffering to Jesus to help others? Wow, I’ll take that deal! I’ll live it by God’s Grace!

What a wonderful way to feel OK about myself! To grow, It enables me to forgive just by seeing the wonderful opportunities to serve by my everyday living. I have already taken in your suggestions from the last post.

I have had a sort of survivors guilt you know. My heart breaking when I see others who are suffering in their adulthood from their childhood. So many, so terribly lost. Many, seemingly, beyond hope. Mentally lost beyond the minds horizon, addicts deep in their addictions, needless suicides, self cutting, permanently homeless, dangerous ones,… Difficult to reach is a vast understatement.

I willingly accept my suffering with a joyful heart and thank Jesus. Knowing that it will be of help to others gives me joy and great comfort! .

I have another question. What is taught about the birth of the soul? Where does the soul begin to exist. In heaven? In the womb?

Thank you for taking precious time to share such full bodied answers.
 
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@InvisibiliaNaCa

There are two kinds of sufferings, the first one is the consequences of sins, like you mentioned like drug addicts, commit suicide, use others, become serial killers, hidden sociopaths in socially dressed masks, etc, because they lead a sinful life, and refuse to be corrected and persist in sin continuously without repentance, by living in mortal sins as God doesn’t permit us to sin Sirach 15:20 He has not commanded anyone to be wicked, and he has not given anyone permission to sin. But here too Jesus is so loving and merciful, till the point of death, he will give, many chances and helps, through different people like sermons during Mass or different people in our contacts, but after death, they have to meet Jesus as the Judge and not the merciful Jesus anymore. As it written in Wisdom 12:1-2 For your immortal spirit is in all things.2 Therefore you correct little by little those who trespass, and you remind and warn them of the things through which they sin, so that they may be freed from wickedness and put their trust in you, O Lord. Jesus corrections us in many ways through sicknesses, through near death experiences, accidents, death in the family, Jesus uses even harder measures if he or she persist in mortal sins, there are many examples who died before they commit a mortal sin and landed up in purgatory, who were saved because of God’s Love and Mercy.

Hebrews 12:5-10 5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as children—
“My child, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
or lose heart when you are punished by him;
6 for the Lord disciplines those whom he loves,
and chastises every child whom he accepts.”
7 Endure trials for the sake of discipline. God is treating you as children; for what child is there whom a parent does not discipline? 8 If you do not have that discipline in which all children share, then you are illegitimate and not his children. 9 Moreover, we had human parents to discipline us, and we respected them. Should we not be even more willing to be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share his holiness.

The Second kind of suffering is when we repent in Mark 1:15 and 2 Corinthians 7:9-11, which is Godly repentance, where Jesus enlightened our sins and by His Grace we realize our sins, shortcomings and start praying and do penance,we offer our sufferings as an act of reparations for the Church, Family and yourself as you mentioned Colossians 1:24 I am now rejoicing in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am completing what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church. Here when you come in Grace, sufferings becomes a Grace and a blessings, in return Jesus consoles us with great joy and peace which is not earthly, sufferings become a merit when you unit it with the suffering’s of Jesus on the cross on Calvary and through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, she will add her Graces and quicken and perfect it and offer it to the Heavenly Father, which will be a pleasant fragrant offering.
 
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Continuation…

@InvisibiliaNaCa

Ephesians 5:2 And live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. We can offer ourselves as in Romans 12:1-2 I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Kindly read and meditate on Psalm 8 and Psalm 139, where dignity of Human and God’s love is mentioned, Yes you can offer all your sufferings, your littleness, your (dignity unworthiness )to, Jesus ,You may need an inner healing retreat or inner healing service, give up every thing in the hands of Jesus, during Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament , or else just sit in your room and pray the forgiveness prayer ,you can make a list, like those who have hurt you, right from your childhood till this day and another list, which you might have hurt others either knowingly or unknowing. Surrender each and every situation, and recollect all your hurt feelings and sufferings ask for the Grace that Jesus may remind you everything, though you may initially feel distracted and may not be able to concentrate, but slowly you’ll begin to remember everything by His Grace, thought it may be painful to do that, Jesus will forgive you and will not remember your sins any more as in Isaiah 43:25 I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. Ask for the Grace that Jesus may give you a new heart and a new spirit in Ezekiel 36:26-27 A new heart I will give you, and a new spirit I will put within you; and I will remove from your body the heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 27 I will put my spirit within you, and make you follow my statutes and be careful to observe my ordinances. 2

Joshua 1:5-9
5 No one shall be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you. 6 Be strong and courageous; for you shall put this people in possession of the land that I swore to their ancestors to give them. 7 Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to act in accordance with all the law that my servant Moses commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, so that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 This book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth; you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to act in accordance with all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall be successful. 9 I hereby command you: Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”God Bless
 
@InvisibiliaNaCa

Yes many souls are lost because of disobedience, because of their own free will, reject and refused God, to follow their own inclination without repentance. That’s why Jesus weeps in silence in Jeremiah 13:17 But if you will not listen, my soul will weep in secret for your pride; my eyes will weep bitterly and run down with tears, because the LORD’s flock has been taken captive. Hebrews 5:7 In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to the one who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.
InvisibiliaNaCa said:
I have another question. What is taught about the birth of the soul? Where does the soul begin to exist. In heaven? In the womb?
Click to expand...
The soul begin to exist at the very second of conception, the embryo in the womb has a soul

As in Ecclesiastes 11:5 Just as you do not know how the breath comes to the bones in the mother’s womb, so you do not know the work of God, who makes everything. 2 Maccabees 7:22-23 “I do not know how you came into being in my womb. It was not I who gave you life and breath, nor I who set in order the elements within each of you. 23 Therefore the Creator of the world, who shaped the beginning of humankind and devised the origin of all things, will in his mercy give life and breath back to you again, since you now forget yourselves for the sake of his laws.

Psalms 139:13-17 For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well.15 My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.16 Your eyes beheld my unformed substance. In your book were written all the days that were formed for me
when none of them as yet existed.17 How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

Genesis 2:7,18 then the LORD God formed man from the dust of the ground, d breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and the man became a living being.18Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner. 21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman for out of Man this one was taken.
 
@InvisibiliaNaCa

Please also read ”Romans 5:12-21 and the below doc official teaching of the Church

http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p1s2c1p6.htm

Catechism of the Catholic Church

355 "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them."218 Man occupies a unique place in creation: (I) he is “in the image of God”; (II) in his own nature he unites the spiritual and material worlds; (III) he is created “male and female”; (IV) God established him in his friendship.

I. “IN THE IMAGE OF GOD”
356 Of all visible creatures only man is “able to know and love his creator”.219 He is “the only creature on earth that God has willed for its own sake”,220 and he alone is called to share, by knowledge and love, in God’s own life. It was for this end that he was created, and this is the fundamental reason for his dignity:

What made you establish man in so great a dignity? Certainly the incalculable love by which you have looked on your creature in yourself! You are taken with love for her; for by love indeed you created her, by love you have given her a being capable of tasting your eternal Good.
221
357 Being in the image of God the human individual possesses the dignity of a person, who is not just something, but someone. He is capable of self-knowledge, of self-possession and of freely giving himself and entering into communion with other persons. And he is called by grace to a covenant with his Creator, to offer him a response of faith and love that no other creature can give in his stead.

Please do feel free to ask questions God Bless
 
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Thank you Frances and Cajunjoy. I will read, pray and follow your suggestions.

Thank you both.
 
That “padre” IS THE BOMB!!! 😃😃😃😃
I LOVE HIM 😁😁😁😁
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
 
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One of the key growth points in the interior life for anyone and especially for those who have lived somewhat traumatic events is to accept the fact that we must ALL “get out of ourselves”.

We must learn to turn every thought and action into an act of love for God, and the most direct and practical way to do that is twofold:
  1. Make a Morning Offering each day, giving God the intention that everything you do that day - just that day - will be for Him, to give Him glory, to give Him comfort (He could see you (and me) from Calvary!). And while - given how weak our attention span and memory are, we may “forget” soon after that 1 minute Morning Offering that we are trying to give Him everything during that day, He doesn’t forget. It becomes a long-running “virtual intention” for everything we do that day. We of course can and should occasionally renew our intention when we think about it, but we shouldn’t worry about it.
So we first purify our intention…My Father God I give you this day that You gave me…I wish to offer you all my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings of this day…

Then (#2) we proceed to do our various life and family duties “as well as we can” (with ever more attention, ever more a spirit of generosity and self-gift…ever more perfect)…our work, our repetitive chores, our social interactions, everything, always on the alert for how we can serve God (by making the lives of others that we run across more pleasant), being enormously generous and attentive and happily sacrificing as we can. We sacrifice with Him, in hidden conversation with Him.

So we learn to self-forget by focusing on God and doing His will, even though we’d rather stew on our own issues, wants and supposed needs, or past injuries, or nurse resentments. Nursing resentments is really a very bad thing to “give in to”. So we need to ask God’s help to stop doing this.

Here’s how to do that. Make a spiritual offering or “hand-off”. Offer those past injuries to Him (perhaps with some good intention for someone you love), and also perhaps suggest some “excuses” for the behavior of others who hurt you or hurt others you love. “Father forgive them, and help me do the same”. Don’t spend much time on this, just do it once, perhaps in front of the Blessed Sacrament. “I give you now once and for all time my injuries and my hurt memories, take them and find some way to do great good in some miraculous way for others. I give you these injuries united with Your Son on the Cross. Take them. Now help me serve You later this afternoon when I meet with those new clients …”

That sort of way, if this makes sense.

A loving and longer running conversation - a family chat - with Your Loving Father God.

Offering some prayers and a few sacrifices today for you. Get it done with Him.
 
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I have held debates, on the other side of the Atlantic, with people of other religions, based on the videos of this priest. And everybody enjoys it!!! He always lays a sound groundwork for analyzing morals. His is a God given vocation for our benefit, I HAVE NO DOUBT! Thanks for sharing @(name removed by moderator) I will take a good look at all your references.

God Bless
 
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I am grateful for the spiritual suggestions/advice. Very grateful. I’ve come to the same conclusion on some of what is shared by all of you. But interactive feedback is very helpful guidance.

I would like to mention that, specifically, I generally do not dwell on the past. On a day to day basis I’m focused on service to others. It happens naturally. It is in those moments when I’m in PTSD flashbacks that things get complicated.

I’ve learned about a number of triggers. So i try to avoid those situations that can lead to a triggered flashback. But there a significant number of triggers. Avoiding them leads to internal isolation. That isn’t a good thing in the long run either.

Some triggers cannot be avoided. Because they happen without warning. If I see someone being hurt I’m instantly triggered to protect. It’s a fearless protective mode in which I feel like an observer inside my head. That’s not so bad of thing. And I’m able to return to a non -triggered state after the situation is safe.

It’s the triggered PTSD when I’m in anything but protective mode that keeps me from growing. It’s not a safe place to be. It can take me days to pull out of it. It’s affects me in ways that I cannot possibly fully describe. It a terrible place of darkness. Like being dropped out of a plane at 80,000 feet without a parachute. No wings, close to complete helplessness. Sometimes it feels more like slamming into a mountain side at light speed.

With time the many parts of the past become unforgotten. That isn’t my goal. I’ve no desire to remember, dwell, or nurse resentment. I just want to be a normal human being who serves God within, and along side, the community of believers.

Thank you all for sharing. It means a great deal to me. I am calling the church admin today to make an appointment to see the priest.

I do love going to adoration. What a wonderful peaceful loving time in space.
 
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