Asking for tips on how to be a good husband

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jay74
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Die to the self. Take all those little things you cling to that you think keeps you independent (nights out with the boys, male habits, hobbies and obsessions) and kill them all! The sooner you give up everything, the happier you will be. And here is the secret: if you give it all up, you get much of it back–and better than before. (btw, I’ve been married 11 years, the first nine of which I violated everything I just said and was misreable, the last two years have been amazing with no end in sight.)

Ohh yeah…(I’m sure you are not doing any of this, but just in case) get rid of any contraceptives. Nothing is a greater gift than a child conceived on the wedding night.

Scott
 
help out around the house without being asked…trust me, unless you have already made the arrangements, your wife will take it upon herself to do it. She will appreaciate your efforts so much…
 
Listen to your wife…I mean really hear her when she speaks… don’t just yes her to death or patronize her to avoid an arguement. Communication is so essential in marrage. Just my thoughts…God Bless the both of you and I wish you a lifetime of happiness! Annunciata:)
 
40.png
sarcophagus:
help out around the house without being asked…trust me, unless you have already made the arrangements, your wife will take it upon herself to do it. She will appreaciate your efforts so much…
Click to expand...
I already do all the laundry and dishes, and we dont’ even live together yet. lol.

We are together almost every night. She cooks, I do the dishes. And I just do her laundry with mine since I’m the one with the washer. It works out wonderfully. 🙂
 
Read Ephesians 5:21 thru 33.

Focus on verse 25. Love your wife as Christ loved the Church. (He laid down his life for the Church and led by being a servant.) Contemplate this during the mass when the priest says “This is my body which is given up for you”. Give your whole self to your wife, body and mind.

Make a sincere gift of yourself to her and do not use her for your physical gratification, rather remember the one-flesh union is sacramental and a gift of each of you to the other as a sign of your total, faithful, fruitful love.
 
40.png
Sandman:
Read Ephesians 5:21 thru 33.

Focus on verse 25. Love your wife as Christ loved the Church. (He laid down his life for the Church and led by being a servant.) Contemplate this during the mass when the priest says “This is my body which is given up for you”. Give your whole self to your wife, body and mind.

Make a sincere gift of yourself to her and do not use her for your physical gratification, rather remember the one-flesh union is sacramental and a gift of each of you to the other as a sign of your total, faithful, fruitful love.
Click to expand...
Sandman,
Are you an E5 man from Catholicity? My husband and son started it a year ago…fasting for their wives on the first Wednesday of the month… It is a truly wonderful act of love… And, some good advice for Jay. Annunciata:)
 
Hi!
I would just like to say that you should be as open and honest with your wife as you possibly can. That will make things alot easier in your life. In case you don’t already, pray together, out loud if you want to. My husband and I pray together and it just brings us closer than you can imagine. We have been married for 8 and a half years and looking forward to many many more. Good luck and God bless you both!
 
ignore anyone who uses words like 50/50 relationship… if your not prepared to give 100% of all yourself, you will be in for lots of little surprises…

Remember “Sticks and Stones will break your bones!”
But, WORDS CAN BREAK YOUR HEART…

Love her with all your heart… protect her with all your might, defend her with all you support… then… good luck… your probably still gonna get it once in a while 😃

Seriously, read and take to heart your wedding vows… and please remember… they are vows… God will hold you to them even if she doesn’t…

Now, close your eyes, grab her by the hand, come on in, the water is fine… 👍
 
space ghost:
ignore anyone who uses words like 50/50 relationship… if your not prepared to give 100% of all yourself, you will be in for lots of little surprises…

Remember “Sticks and Stones will break your bones!”
But, WORDS CAN BREAK YOUR HEART…

Love her with all your heart… protect her with all your might, defend her with all you support… then… good luck… your probably still gonna get it once in a while 😃

Seriously, read and take to heart your wedding vows… and please remember… they are vows… God will hold you to them even if she doesn’t…

Now, close your eyes, grab her by the hand, come on in, the water is fine… 👍
Click to expand...
Hey, SG
I like your post…its really nice. 👍
 
Annunciata already gave the advice I would give: Listen to your wife. Communicate.

After 25 years of marriage the primary quality that I appreciate the most in my husband is his unfailing loyalty to me, even in the face of years of utter immaturity on my part. I finally grew up, and there he was waiting for me. Good thing he was loyal. A lesser man would have moved on.

So, listen, communicate, and remain loyal in the worst of times.

'thann
 
Hi again Jay74 - met you on the “good wife” thread…
Space.
Respect.
I love to read.
He let’s me read, all day if I want with no complaints.
My husband loves to work on cars
I let him tinker on cars, all day if he wants with no complaints.
We discuss everything and respect the other’s opinion even without agreement.
Sometimes I feel sad because he is a man of no faith but I am a convert and know that, with God, anything is possible. I snuck (a word?) a green scapular under his side of the mattress. Still praying.
I wish you the most wonderful life! 🙂
 
40.png
Annunciata:
Sandman,
Are you an E5 man from Catholicity? My husband and son started it a year ago…fasting for their wives on the first Wednesday of the month… It is a truly wonderful act of love… And, some good advice for Jay. Annunciata:)
Click to expand...
Hi Annunciata,

I remember this from reading the eletter I use to receive from Catholicity…your husband does this for you…what a nice thing to do…a meaningful thing… 👍

God bless
A
 
My husband is an E5 man, also, and it is indeed very powerful and meaningful to sit at dinner with him at night, knowing he’s starving. (we eat our supper and he has one piece of bread and water–the only thing he eats for the day)

I didn’t grasp the significance of this when he first started doing it.
I do now.

God bless all of the husbands of the world.
 
40.png
Annunciata:
Sandman,
Are you an E5 man from Catholicity? My husband and son started it a year ago…fasting for their wives on the first Wednesday of the month… It is a truly wonderful act of love… And, some good advice for Jay. Annunciata:)
Click to expand...
Yes I am an E5 but I must admit that I am not as faithful to the fasting as others. I am still trying to learn the significance of sacrifice. As a recent convert to Catholicism, it is not a concept that I grew up with. I am striving to put fasting, always definding my wife, and other personal sacrifice into practice and it is becoming easier. (It is also beginning to show some benifit in my marriage.)

One more piece of advice. Put your wife before your parents. Put her defense and well being above all others. Jump to her defense and never use her as an excuse why you do something or don’t do something. Take responsibility yourself but always take her into consideration in your decisions.

Sandman
 
  1. Don’t keep “books of accounts” on hurts, inconveniences, and disappointments. It makes forgiveness that much more difficult.
  2. Be prepared to be amazed. I married a fascinating, beautiful young woman 36 years ago. Eight years later, I found myself married to a mother, who utterly amazed me. I though I knew her well enough by then that she couldn’t do that any more. And last Easter I found myself married to a Catholic. See my comment following “Eight years later …”.
  3. Make time for each other. That gets tricker as years pass, but is always important. I think most psychology is flummery, so don’t ascribe to communication as some kind of magic bullet. But if you take care of making time for each other, communication tends to happen, and it’s a good thing.
  4. Forget about keeping secrets from each other. You won’t be able to for long if you try. Wives seem to get very adept at reading their husbands, and they know when they’re trying. And if you should succeed, it will be a disaster.
And, EVERY BLESSING to you both. Keep God in your marriage. He can make it work when our human resources are dumbfounded.

Blessings,

Gerry

PS: Then there’s the “Advice to Husbands,” from Ogden Nash:

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in your loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it.
Whenever you’re right, shut up.
😃
 
space ghost:
ignore anyone who uses words like 50/50 relationship… if your not prepared to give 100% of all yourself, you will be in for lots of little surprises…

Remember “Sticks and Stones will break your bones!”
But, WORDS CAN BREAK YOUR HEART…

Love her with all your heart… protect her with all your might, defend her with all you support… then… good luck… your probably still gonna get it once in a while 😃

Seriously, read and take to heart your wedding vows… and please remember… they are vows… God will hold you to them even if she doesn’t…

Now, close your eyes, grab her by the hand, come on in, the water is fine… 👍
Click to expand...
:amen:

God bless you! May you have a long, happy, and fruitful life together!
 
Pray together.

Pray for her.

Listen, even when you want to rescue her with advice just listen, with your full attention. Most of the time that is exactly what she wants.

Remember the compliments you paid her when you first began dating. Once in a while, out of the blue tell her you appreciate her, or you love her cooking, or tell her how beautiful she looks to you right then and there. Let her catch you looking at her when your across the room at a crowded party. NEVER assume that she knows these things.

Hold hands in public.

Scrape the ice off her windshield before she leaves for work in the winter.

Every once in a while eat dinner by candlelight. Even if it’s pizza.

Encourage her.

When you have children be involved with them.

Back her up if she has a disagreement with your mother.

Love her and honor her and cherish her all the days of your life.

God Bless You!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top