Asperger's and Catholicism

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FWIW, I am very devoted to St Theresa of Avila, and - upon my “re”-version at around 33 - I actually read all of her works several times over. I have also had many mystical experiences, infusions, and so on - so I can say I believe and am thankful for her works.

That said, I am not sure if mysticism is the best charism for the OP. He/she is asking for something logical, but mysticism can be anything but logical - if it was logical, then it wouldn’t be called mystical. Even St Theresa would probably urge souls find a spiritual director or confessor who has had similar mystical experiences - but, if the OP hasn’t had any such experiences, then it could get pretty confusing.

In my own case, I had to ultimately look at St Ignatius’ writings to understand how to discern and deal with the consequent desolations.

Its good that you are praying for the OP, and maybe the OP would do well to read those books, but I think the question of what charism is best for him to follow would best be left up to a Spiritual Director or a Pastoral Counselor who knows and has worked the OP personally over a period of time.
 
Excellent answer- thanks! The weather here in Louisiana has been beautiful, so I’ve been finding time to sit in my hammock and read more. I’ve read a few Matthew Kelly books, Till We Have Faces by CS Lewis, and I’m endeavoring to read the Summa now- I find Thomistic prayer to be most helpful to me in reconciling logic to faith, but I need to remember to balance that logic with some empathy too. I have a really close friend who is really big into the faith who’s been a familiar and helped me either by giving his advice or just sitting and listening to me talk through things while I try to rationalize thoughts.
 
I have had two such occurrences that I can’t logically explain, both at different occasions while being prayed with in times of stress/anxiety with the same friend I mentioned in my other response to you. The first time he told me to “open [my] heart and clear [my] mind,” and I thought to myself “not sure what that means but I guess I’ll try,” so I did my best to redirect all my racing thoughts to just emptiness. Then all of a sudden while we were praying, I took a deep breath and felt this sense of just overwhelming comfort and peace fill me that I know (which is a big statement b/c I’m usually über uncertain about things I can’t explain) couldn’t have come from either myself or my friend or any other human being for that matter. I refrained from telling my friend about it the first time and asked a priest who told me that that feeling was the Holy Spirit making Himself known. So I cling to those two instances as my proof to myself that things happen that I can’t explain by any concrete means, and if there’s another explanation I can honestly say I had rather remain blissfully ignorant because even thinking back to it I still get goosebumps.
 
Mild aspie here.

Don’t drown in theology. Move some of that focus into prayer, that is a HUGE part of being a successful Catholic and follower of Christ. Get to know our Mother. We tend to complicate things way too much, I know I do.

Pulling for you…
 
I stopped being Catholic because of my condition. It was incompatible with my mental state.
 
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You could consider it a mortification. I mean, mother Theresa spent years feeling and experiencing nothing spiritual and yet carried on with her work, sometimes on the point of despair.

Surely you can grasp that some things cannot be logically understood by us humans. Sure, they can be reasoned out and discussed, but at the end of the day, words will fail to express the reality of God. Even Aquinas, one of the greatest minds of the Church, said of his work that “all is straw” compared to God.

Perhaps your trial is to not be intellectually fulfilled in the faith but to grow in faith. You obviously have some faith or you wouldn’t be asking this at all. But maybe adopt the prayer: Lord I believe, Help my unbelief.
 
That’s a sad outlook on life. God made you this way because you fill a niche others cannot, and He provides sufficient grace to everyone to be a faithful Catholic.
 
AdamP88 said:
Perhaps your trial is to not be intellectually fulfilled in the faith but to grow in faith.
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That’s fine to take the leap of faith to there being a god it’s completely different to see that God only permit 4% of souls in heaven. When the older I get the more I see people arnt evil, just weak and scared. Mental illness too. It’d be different if God saw us screw up but we genuinely tried and failed as we are ought to do and ask “Did you learn something?”

But no it’s not like that. I find more comfort in the Oblivion of death/non exsistance then an eternity of banishment because I committed one sin that put me over.
That’s a sad outlook on life. God made you this way because you fill a niche others cannot, and He provides sufficient grace to everyone to be a faithful Catholic.
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I have no evidence it matters. I refuse to be a petulant gods battery as a reward for mere impossible service and I refuse hell.

Destroy my soul, I refuse this pointless game.
 
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@Ad_Collegium

In my opinion I would abandon the idea of fitting into the norm of things. This would be the case regardless of whether or not you’re a Catholic, so the struggle is going to be there whether you want it or not. That’s a common theme of life: people might prefer to escape the Church in order to escape from X, Y, or Z problem, but those problems follow them wherever they go. An empathy-driven person might want to leave the Church because of the abuse scandal, but the sins they deplore in the Church are going to be waiting for them outside the Church as well. A person prone towards frustration within the Church is going to be prone towards frustration outside the Church.

It’s perfectly valid and healthy to be inquisitive, so feed your appetite and don’t worry so much about other people. Asperger’s has been diagnosed only relatively recently in history but plenty of saints showed borderline signs of Asperger’s. Although it is true that there are a plurality of spiritualities in the Church, the Church has always elevated the mind over feelings, because feelings can be unreliable.

Peace.
 
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Anrakyr said:
That’s fine to take the leap of faith to there being a god it’s completely different to see that God only permit 4% of souls in heaven.
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You don’t really know that though. It’s possible that God saves the majority.
Anrakyr said:
When the older I get the more I see people arnt evil, just weak and scared. Mental illness too.
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True. That’s why only God can judge the soul at death. It’s like the story of the woman who came to St. John Vianny complaining that her husband was a cheat and a scoundrel and abandoned her and her children by jumping from a bridge to his death. She said to the Saint that she thought he was in hell. St. John’s reply: Between the bridge and the water was his salvation.

God will take advantage of any little bit of love we have for him to save us, even if we reject him most of our lives, if we can only die repentant, God has promised us mercy.
 
Actually I read this reply at the perfect time. I recently had a conversation with someone who I’m quickly developing a friendship with, and he said that the deep emotional thing I’m searching for just flat isn’t going to happen because I’m wired Thomistically. He said that the satisfaction I feel when contemplating things in the Summa or making connections while reading the Bible is the same thing as the deep emotional things I see other people have; it’s just that reason won’t be satisfied with emotional stuff- it wants to be satisfied by logic. Like equivalent ends of different paths. I thought that was profound, and I’ve really taken it to mind. Peace!
 
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AdamP88 said:
St. John’s reply: Between the bridge and the water was his salvation.
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Out of all the comments I’ve read on here this is the hardest tug I’ve felt that I’ve had to come back. I still have many things to resolve but those words… THIS is the kind of response I’ve been looking for. Out of all the arguments, shaming, prayers, pleading and being asked to leave, you reached me. That is some of the insight I been looking for.

If God is real and he truly is merciful you truly were spoken threw tonight.

All I ever know in my life is mental instability. If you’ve ever doubted you help people let me return the gift by saying thank you for that.
 
You’re most welcome. I had no idea my comment would have any impact at all but I love that story because it’s what the faith is all about really. Not some false mercy or false justice. But the idea that yes, hell is a possibility, but God is there til the bitter end trying to take advantage of any chink in our hard hearts in order to bring us to Him.

And while your mental state might be a barrier to your faith in some ways, God knows your struggles and is with you and on your side.
 
If anyone goes to Hell, it is because he has shown contempt for God and His Law, persisting in it until death. Yes most people are deceived, but how much of that deception is willful? Many people are lazy, always wanting to take shortcuts without regard for the harm they do thereby.
 
Rational appreciation and love of God is just as ancient in Catholicism as the feelz. You might get a lot out of the Fathers of the Church, like St.Justin Martyr, St. Gregory Thaumaturgus, St. Jerome, St. Athanasius, and so on, because they tend to integrate Scripture and tradition with rational philosophy.

Theology has a lot of different approaches from different exponents. Find good theologians that speak to you and start from there. Same thing with lives of the saints. As you grow older, you will get different interests and insights.

Browse around, and let God know that you want some guidance. I bet you will find some saints who make sense to you, and who will be happy to be your teachers and friends. I mean, it is not as if we do not have access to the Communion of Saints, so we might as well inquire.
 
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I have mild aspergers, many people do, including those that have no idea that they are even on the spectrum. It is just another cross. God would not give you a cross that is incompatible with Catholicism.

You are running up against the wall that keeps many, especially worldly intellectuals from taking the leap of faith. You may give up on God, but I doubt he will give up on you. Have you prayed, have you asked that God enlighten you about this issue? The way this works is you have to ask for this, due to free will.

You have to ask that you be given proper contrition, you have to ask that burdens be shifted, understood, evolved, or resolved. You have to ask. Have you done this? If you are set on this, it is possible that the weight of sins, as they accumulate could bring you back. Some people who leave do come back, as they need this experience. Intellectualism is a worldly phenomenon, faith is supernatural or spiritual.

You have my prayers.
 
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Ad_Collegium said:
I have Asperger’s Syndrome and it makes being a Catholic kind of difficult for me. Because of my disorder I need to understand things logically or else they won’t click- I just can’t grasp them, or I’ll question them to death
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I have no insight really, other than to say that I imagine Catholicism is a uniquely rough religion for someone on the autism spectrum. My sympathies.
 
LawyersGunsAndMoney said:
I have no insight really, other than to say that I imagine Catholicism is a uniquely rough religion for someone on the autism spectrum. My sympathies.
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You are being very kind, and I am sure the OP will appreciate that. I just wanted to add that Catholicism is uniquely rough on sinful thoughts and habits. It would have to be or it would be a useless vessel for God. When we, when I, attempt to move away from sin, things get better. We are only here, as you know, for a speck of a moment, then there is eternity.

The only purpose for being here is to glorify, to serve, and to prepare to join God for eternity. The difficult and often lonely cross of apsergers, can be turned around to become a gift. That maddening focus can be harnessed to become a gift of sorts, a compliment in our struggle towards sainthood.
 
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