"Aspie" Joining the Knights?

[Anrakyr]

I would love for you to be apart of my council. If you are really worried about it you can have a private conversation with someone on the leadership about your condition if you want too, but I wouldn’t say you had too at all. I am not as active in my council as I once was due to family obligations but I am still very happy to be apart of the Knights.

I know you mean well but I and other aspies lose jobs, friends, club memberships all the time. I know you say you will but I’m not sure you understand what you are agreeing too.

You are asking an alien who doesn’t think like you to move in. if you can’t see it that way I can’t see it getting better.

to add some levity lets watch some Arthur!

I know you mean well but to prevent poor @esieffe from being let down again you need to understand what you are offering.

Otherwise its one more rejection waiting to happen.

 

[esieffe]

Thanks guys for all of your overwhelming support and responses. Im sorry if I misled anyone into thinking I am young though, I am middle aged.

I am encouraged and deeply touched by all of your support!
Thank you again!!!

 

[esieffe]

Your right. I did mention it all in my email to them yesterday. They have not responded, I have to wonder if I spooked them. I would understand if thats what happened. Maybe they feel like they would have to walk on egg-shells, which is absolutely not the case. I am a special ed teacher, promoted from within. They wouldn’t have promoted me if they felt like I could not comfortably deal with parents and staff, etc. [Though that can be very stressful at times let me tell you.]

If I continue to have desire to join, and they don’t respond, I would rather have one of my “potential future brother Knights,” simply recommend me as someone they know on CAF, to my local council, if they wouldn’t mind.

 

[dochawk]

Still not getting it. I’m just going to nod and pretend that I get it.

The term is often a derogatory reference to Italians–not to thee level of the N-word, but not particularly nice (but might be innocuous in some circumstances, such as when referring to oneself of friends, or when using a similar word for one’s own group–but those are the exception).

Anyway, the only time I’ve ever heard it used (again, outside of early MASH) is by this one individual casually referring to himself.

I wouldn’t spring the news that you deal with Asperger’s on the whole group, because they’re going to be afraid they won’t respond in the “right” way. Most of us don’t know how we’re supposed to respond to this kind of information in a loving way.

Were the situation presented to me by a prospective member (and I actually do have a similar situation at the moment), I would address the meeting with information, advice, and instruction before bringing the new member in–and then treat him just like any other new member, save for any accommodations that might be needed (e.g., if the person is subject to panic attacks when speaking to groups, I’d make his introduction and give his background instead of inviting him to do so myself).

They are usually thrilled when the other guys don’t wait until they get grey hair to join! Thrilled!

Oh, yeah . . .

Your right. I did mention it all in my email to them yesterday. They have not responded, I have to wonder if I spooked them.

Like any organization, sometimes things get lost, or someone ends up in charge who gets overwhelmed and stops responding to anything, or . . .

If nothing else, if you don’t get the response, PM me. I’ll find your local District Deputy (in charge of a few councils) and ask for a recommendation. As with any other group, different councils have different personalities, and possibly individuals, and there might be a particular group that is the best fit for some reason or another.

hawk

 

[Jen7]

It’s too much work to tolerate an autistic person.

It really breaks my heart that you have experiences that send this message to you! I am horrified you were asked to leave your council. I know Autistic people. It is not too much work to befriend them at all. Folks who cannot handle people outside their narrow box should be asked to do the leaving. What is wrong with people?!

 

[PetraG]

Mileage varies. There are men who find they aren’t suited to the Knights. I don’t think that is a reason not to try, particularly not if both sides are willing to work on things and to understand each other’s limitations. This is especially true for those who have a diagnosis that could limit participation in some ways but maybe expand it in others. Everyone in an organization or a workplace has something, but the OP does not have issues so limiting that he can’t work. I think he will probably be able to do it and to make a positive contribution to his parish doing it.

 

[esieffe]

Otherwise its one more rejection waiting to happen.

Thanks for posting Arthur. It’s embarrassing, but even with high functioning Aspergers, there are challenges. It’s funny but people talking loud or fast are one of them. And I share this in part for the benefit of other aspies in the world, and for the understanding of all the great posters here on CAF.

The other day I was in a tire store waiting for them to put on some tires I bought. Suddenly this lady sitting next to me out of the blue, started spouting out all these crazy conspiracy theories. About the world trade center attacks, various politicians. I felt trapped, she just went on and on. I knew I had to get out of there so I set an alarm on my cell phone and when it went off, I pretended that it was a call I had to take and ran out!
I generally can only stay around a giant crowd or in a mall for so long, then I gotta go. Typically at seminars and so on there are breaks, at meetings I squirm, but I am conscious of it, so I try to make it look causal.
When I am by myself, or I think I am, I might repeat phrases over and over. I generally try to say something positive like “I love you Jesus, love you, love you…” It used to be “I hate myself, I…” But as a Catholic I know this is destructive, and I replaced it with something positive. I keep it well concealed but on something like a long flight or a long drive, I slip up.

In social situations it is best to have a couple of glasses of wine, whether I want it or not, otherwise it would get awkward. Drinking too much would allow slip ups. I could go on forever. I hope that people watch the short Arthur clip that are interested, it is very good. Thanks for posting it!

PS: rejection. It is a big thing, but Im sure it is with nurotypical people as well. It was really tough in elementary and middle school. I hated it so much. It was pure hell. This is before the spectrum was understood well. They knew something was up with me, they just were not sure what it was. I got into several fights. Don’t even get me started with dating…

 

[Anrakyr]

This is before the spectrum was understood well. They knew something was up with me, they just were not sure what it was. I got into several fights. Don’t even get me started with dating…

Idk if the spectrum is understood in general still!
But dating, oi, ya. Been there.

I find that most people in the caring profession are attracted to aspies. It’s weird, they don’t think we are something to take care of but they understand compassion for our condition. They seem to see past our oddities.

May sound really off but go hang out with some psw’s, nurses, elderly support staff. You’d be surprised how “endearing” they find you.

But enough dating advice, go forth and be what you were born to be!

A future Nobel prize winner or tyrannical evil overlord.
Those really are are our specially.

 

[Sarcelle]

PS: rejection. It is a big thing, but Im sure it is with nurotypical people as well. It was really tough in elementary and middle school. I hated it so much. It was pure hell. This is before the spectrum was understood well. They knew something was up with me, they just were not sure what it was. I got into several fights. Don’t even get me started with dating…

Try being female and autistic.

I find it easier to talk to men than to women since women expect you to understand the very, very subtle social cues that women expect other women to understand. I am not emotionally bubbly and not inclined to small talk, especially about babies and children.

A lot of times I get the silent treatment because I did or said something that another woman found offensive. A lot of times they don’t tell you what you did wrong, often expecting you to find out yourself.

As an engineer, I work in mostly male work environments but I did work in a hospital taking care of medical equipment and the female dominated work environment made it a social minefield for me.

I’m back to working a male dominated industry so I feel more comfortable.

 

[esieffe]

As an engineer, I work in mostly male work environments but I did work in a hospital taking care of medical equipment and the female dominated work environment made it a social minefield for me.

I’m back to working a male dominated industry so I feel more comfortable.

I think women are more subtle then men. Not all mind you, Ive met some that are right up front. But by and large it seems easier to step on someones sensibilities if they are subtle. It would seem though, if THEY are so good a social ques, they would get that you don’t know what you did to upset them. Of course that is an observation you hear from nurotypical men as well.

I am not knocking women btw!

 

[adamhovey1988]

Far from it. And I dare say, many of us make wonderful Knights.

 

[adamhovey1988]

That’s interesting: Most of my friends are female. Interesting how that works.

 

[adamhovey1988]

I appreciate your humour. Tyrannical overlord, hmm

 

[OKComputer]

One of my best friends has Aspergers syndrome, and he is a Knight. He fits right in (I’m not a knight, only what I’ve been told by him) and has a great time being a Knight. I’m sure you will too!