Assuming poster is an teenager

[mcteague]

I was wondering if when people reply here they assume, unless it is obvious that they are not, that the poster is a minor? And I wonder if the responses are affected by that presumption? I ask because often when replying to morality questions from minors people try to present clear unambiguous answers. Often those answers do not take into account some practicalities and truths of living in the real world. We might answer a question differently from a 13 year old than a 33 year old. I suppose that is appropriate.

I have a friend who is a teacher. He tells his students he never drank, smoked pot, or was sexually active until he was an adult. But we were in high school together, so I know it’s a lie. But he says you just have to say that. He says otherwise they would just go wild.

I noticed the same thing when my brother and I were watching tv and a “girls gone wild” ad came on. He was really annoyed by it. I just commented that it was kind of stupid. I would not watch or buy one. I have actually seen breasts before and dont need a video. But I said it did not really bother me; I just thought it was typical youth stupidity. My brother glared up at me and between clenched teeth said " that’s because you’re not a father".
So I just wonder whether people here generally always believe the moral arguments they are making. Or if those responses are tailored to the idea that the questioner may not be an adult. That is they may not represent the full and truthful view we may have when speaking to other adults. Are most responses constructed with that presumption?

 

[Several_Flies]

I was wondering if when people reply here they assume, unless it is obvious that they are not, that the poster is a minor? And I wonder if the responses are affected by that presumption? I ask because often when replying to morality questions from minors people try to present clear unambiguous answers. Often those answers do not take into account some practicalities and truths of living in the real world. We might answer a question differently from a 13 year old than a 33 year old. I suppose that is appropriate.

I have a friend who is a teacher. He tells his students he never drank, smoked pot, or was sexually active until he was an adult. But we were in high school together, so I know it’s a lie. But he says you just have to say that. He says otherwise they would just go wild.

I noticed the same thing when my brother and I were watching tv and a “girls gone wild” ad came on. He was really annoyed by it. I just commented that it was kind of stupid. I would not watch or buy one. I have actually seen breasts before and dont need a video. But I said it did not really bother me; I just thought it was typical youth stupidity. My brother glared up at me and between clenched teeth said " that’s because you’re not a father".
So I just wonder whether people here generally always believe the moral arguments they are making. Or if those responses are tailored to the idea that the questioner may not be an adult. That is they may not represent the full and truthful view we may have when speaking to other adults. Are most responses constructed with that presumption?

Good post mate.

I think I’d fall under the category where I’d tailor an answer depending on the age group. I generally look at the content of the post, and usually the spelling/grammar gives away the age bracket of a poster.

The usernames sometimes help judge the age of the individual too. But in short, yes, I do tailor responses based around their age.

 

[baltobetsy]

I give clear, unambiguous answers to everyone. Teen or adult, if you ask a question, you deserve the truth as the Church teaches it. I don’t reveal any of my personal life online anywhere, other than things about my cat and the recipes I use.

Betsy

 

[MarianD]

As a teenager (17 years old), let me tell you: when you tailor answers, it’s very easy to see through them.

 

[Several_Flies]

As a teenager (17 years old), let me tell you: when you tailor answers, it’s very easy to see through them.

Only if you’re aware of how the poster usually posts, otherwise how would you?

 

[Several_Flies]

I don’t reveal any of my personal life online anywhere, other than things about my cat and the recipes I use.

Betsy

 

[markomalley]

I was wondering if when people reply here they assume, unless it is obvious that they are not, that the poster is a minor? And I wonder if the responses are affected by that presumption? I ask because often when replying to morality questions from minors people try to present clear unambiguous answers. Often those answers do not take into account some practicalities and truths of living in the real world. We might answer a question differently from a 13 year old than a 33 year old. I suppose that is appropriate.

I have a friend who is a teacher. He tells his students he never drank, smoked pot, or was sexually active until he was an adult. But we were in high school together, so I know it’s a lie. But he says you just have to say that. He says otherwise they would just go wild.

I noticed the same thing when my brother and I were watching tv and a “girls gone wild” ad came on. He was really annoyed by it. I just commented that it was kind of stupid. I would not watch or buy one. I have actually seen breasts before and dont need a video. But I said it did not really bother me; I just thought it was typical youth stupidity. My brother glared up at me and between clenched teeth said " that’s because you’re not a father".
So I just wonder whether people here generally always believe the moral arguments they are making. Or if those responses are tailored to the idea that the questioner may not be an adult. That is they may not represent the full and truthful view we may have when speaking to other adults. Are most responses constructed with that presumption?

Truth is what it is. Frankly, for me, it is the other way around. In other words, I will be sensitive to the teen’s lack of experience and probable brainwashing by the MSM and the NEA when I formulate a response that I know is being directed toward a teen.

But what limits me more than either is the CAF AUP (acceptable use policy). (That limits me from, for example, giving a precise description, with references, to exactly what is involved with the sexual practices that are being defended by some. And, personally, I think such a description would be particularly effective with a teen who just might not fully comprehend what it is that he or she is defending)

 

[phoenixrrt62]

I was wondering if when people reply here they assume, unless it is obvious that they are not, that the poster is a minor? And I wonder if the responses are affected by that presumption? I ask because often when replying to morality questions from minors people try to present clear unambiguous answers. Often those answers do not take into account some practicalities and truths of living in the real world. We might answer a question differently from a 13 year old than a 33 year old. I suppose that is appropriate.

I have a friend who is a teacher. He tells his students he never drank, smoked pot, or was sexually active until he was an adult. But we were in high school together, so I know it’s a lie. But he says you just have to say that. He says otherwise they would just go wild.

I noticed the same thing when my brother and I were watching tv and a “girls gone wild” ad came on. He was really annoyed by it. I just commented that it was kind of stupid. I would not watch or buy one. I have actually seen breasts before and dont need a video. But I said it did not really bother me; I just thought it was typical youth stupidity. My brother glared up at me and between clenched teeth said " that’s because you’re not a father".
So I just wonder whether people here generally always believe the moral arguments they are making. Or if those responses are tailored to the idea that the questioner may not be an adult. That is they may not represent the full and truthful view we may have when speaking to other adults. Are most responses constructed with that presumption?

Interesting post…and I can understand why some people would be worried about information they would tell a minor…but this is my take on it…
Like a poster mentioned in this thread, teens aren’t idiots, and they see through BS.

I would be truthful, no matter what. I have been truthful with my kid, or have tried my damnedest to be.

I can only think of one or two times I was not fully truthful with my son when he was younger, and this only because I was at a loss as to put the information in a context he would understand-and not be distressed.

Later on, when one situation came up again (and he was older and able to process said information) I told him the full story. The other time has not come up, but when it does, I will tell him the whole story…

I also will tell my son when I DO NOT know something…I will not lie. I was SO ANNOYED as a child when I asked an adult something I did not understand, only to be told something like “never you mind” and find out later they didn’t know any more than I did what I was asking.

I have ALWAYS been of the mindset that knowledge is power, and I would not hesitate to tell my son something he needed to know…even the mistakes I have made in life…perhaps my tale would be enough to stop him from making the same mistakes…granted, sometimes that doesn’t happen, but one can only hope;0D

 

[PatriceA]

I think I have the opposite problem. Unless the poster states otherwise, or its completely apparent due to grammar and sentence structure, I assume the OP and other people posting in the thread are adults. I find it more annoying when its later revealed that someone responding to a thread is actually a minor and has no firsthand experience that could shape their advice to the OP. Example, a minor that does not reveal their age offering advice to an OP that is having marital troubles or parenting troubles.

 

[runningdude]

Only if you’re aware of how the poster usually posts, otherwise how would you?

Patronizing is easy to spot!

 

[Several_Flies]

Patronizing is easy to spot!

I don’t think “patronizing” is the word, I don’t understand how people here saying they are truthful bla bla and will give the same answer no matter what. We aren’t all the same people, you’d obviously have to tailor an answer to someone depending on their age bracket to actually offer any useful advice to them.

That doesn’t mean you have to lie to them, but talking to an adult about your regretted college days (sex, drugs, alcohol etc.) is a bit different than talking to a 13-year-old. The adult might understand the fun you’ve had, and also probably understand the dark side of things because they themselves have witnessed or experienced it. A 13-year-old may not necessarily understand that, and may even think, wow Mr. Smith is a religious man now but before he used to be wild and cool, maybe we should have some fun too in college!

Immediate fail.

I think the smart thing to do is actually tailor your answer based on the audience, age is not just a number, it actually means something

 

[kimmielittle]

Good Questions and answers

Tell us the truth.

I don’t give relationship advice…well, except the time - some boy was trying to get out of buying valentines for TWO girl friends without telling either one of them - about the other one. That boy had a twofold death wish - first, not getting a valentine - second, two girl friend sneakin’ ] .

As a fact, We haven’t seen him on the CAF boards in quite awhile

 

[Dale_M]

I was wondering if when people reply here they assume, unless it is obvious that they are not, that the poster is a minor? And I wonder if the responses are affected by that presumption? I ask because often when replying to morality questions from minors people try to present clear unambiguous answers.

I think many CAF members, perhaps most, have a strong preference to give clear, unambiguous answers to everyone. This is because they often see morality in B&W terms.

Personally, I tend to assume that everyone here is an adult, unless a member specifically says otherwise. If I suspect someone is a minor, and I think it important to my reply, I will ask him or her. Yes, there are times when it is appropriate to frame a response differently to a 13 year old, as opposed to a 33 year old. But I am not sure that is always the case.

 

[MarianD]

Only if you’re aware of how the poster usually posts, otherwise how would you?

I was talking more along the lines of in person. I was thinking about the OP’s example of the teacher who said he never did the wild things that a lot young people do when he was young.

But in regards to what you said—age actually means something—I’d respectfully disagree. Up to a point, yes it does mean something. But when someone who actually takes the time to observe the world and his/her own life reaches his/her mid-to-late teens, age is just a number. I’ve met many teenagers wiser than middle aged people, and many middle aged people who only do or follow something because they were told to do so when they were little.

 

[1ke]

I was wondering if when people reply here they assume, unless it is obvious that they are not, that the poster is a minor?

Not at all.

And I wonder if the responses are affected by that presumption?

No.

I ask because often when replying to morality questions from minors people try to present clear unambiguous answers. Often those answers do not take into account some practicalities and truths of living in the real world

There is only one truth. It is the same for, and applies to, everyone. To say otherwise is to subscribe to the heresy of moral relativism.

We might answer a question differently from a 13 year old than a 33 year old. I suppose that is appropriate.

Vocabulary could certainly be tailored, but content would be the same.

I have a friend who is a teacher. He tells his students he never drank, smoked pot, or was sexually active until he was an adult. But we were in high school together, so I know it’s a lie. But he says you just have to say that. He says otherwise they would just go wild.

This is completely inappropriate. A teacher should not be talking about alcohol, sex, or drugs with a student and if a teacher talked to my child about any of their escapades in their youth or adult life, I’d be on them like white on rice.

I noticed the same thing when my brother and I were watching tv and a “girls gone wild” ad came on. He was really annoyed by it. I just commented that it was kind of stupid. I would not watch or buy one. I have actually seen breasts before and dont need a video. But I said it did not really bother me; I just thought it was typical youth stupidity. My brother glared up at me and between clenched teeth said " that’s because you’re not a father".

Jesus warned against being lukewarm. We must speak out and condemn morally reprehensible television programming, not ignore it.

So I just wonder whether people here generally always believe the moral arguments they are making.

Of course.

 

[mcteague]

There is only one truth. It is the same for, and applies to, everyone. To say otherwise is to subscribe to the heresy

CUT

This is completely inappropriate. A teacher should not be talking about alcohol, sex, or drugs with a student and if a teacher talked to my child about any of their escapades in their youth or adult life, I’d be on them like white on rice.
.

I would say that a certain amount of moral relativism is necessary and correct. You just don’t want it to be an excuse for no morality at all.
If a student asks a question, or brings up a subject, you can’t expect the teacher to ignore them. It is an unavoidable fact that your children will seek out and receive life information from sources other than yourself. All you can hope for is that it is good information. Or that your own relationship with your child is good enough that they will discuss what they hear with you. This is not just with teachers. Many grade school and junior high students have rather stance ideas about sex for example. Usually they got their information from classmates. Or should I say the true experts in life’s mysteries.

 

[Pug]

In real life my responses are different to a minor than an adult in some cases. For example, some topics are best for a parent to explain to a child, so if what the child has asked touches upon these, I may refer the child to their parent for the answer. Also, sometimes children are unaware of social norms when questioning other people, so they will ask intrusive questions. I might handle this differently if a minor does this than if an adult does. I can think of more examples, such as whether or not I make the assumption that the person I am talking to has acquaintance with simple facts about the Vietnam War, and similar historical happenings.

I would not lie about what I have done, saying one thing even though I did another. I avoid recounting something that I have done if I feel discussing it would be harmful to the listener, but that behavior of mine goes for adults as well as children.

 

[1ke]

I would say that a certain amount of moral relativism is necessary and correct. You just don’t want it to be an excuse for no morality at all.

Um, no, moral relativism is a heresy.

If a student asks a question, or brings up a subject, you can’t expect the teacher to ignore them.

You most certainly can.

It is an unavoidable fact that your children will seek out and receive life information from sources other than yourself. All you can hope for is that it is good information. Or that your own relationship with your child is good enough that they will discuss what they hear with you. This is not just with teachers. Many grade school and junior high students have rather stance ideas about sex for example. Usually they got their information from classmates. Or should I say the true experts in life’s mysteries.

This is completely irrelevant. It is not the teacher’s place to discuss such a topic with a child. It is the parent’s.

 

[Several_Flies]

I was talking more along the lines of in person. I was thinking about the OP’s example of the teacher who said he never did the wild things that a lot young people do when he was young.

But in regards to what you said—age actually means something—I’d respectfully disagree. Up to a point, yes it does mean something. But when someone who actually takes the time to observe the world and his/her own life reaches his/her mid-to-late teens, age is just a number. I’ve met many teenagers wiser than middle aged people, and many middle aged people who only do or follow something because they were told to do so when they were little.

Ah yes…typically said by teenagers, like somehow that by observing the world by the age of seventeen, that everything is known.

There are no doubt some adults who act like 12-year-olds and vice-versa. But that’s not the point here, we aren’t looking at exceptions to the general rule that age means a fair bit in the general population! I’m only 22 but when I look back to when I was 17, I’m just surprised at how much I’ve learnt and grown.

My dad who is 50, when looking back to 22 must be going, wow how much have I changed, how much have I learnt? Age says a lot! What a shame it would be that by taking the time to observe the world in your teenage years you would have already matured, which doesn’t happen in any case. There’s a lot more to it than that.

Furthermore you aren’t a fully grown man or woman until you’re in your 20’s anyhow.

 

[MarianD]

Ah yes…typically said by teenagers, like somehow that by observing the world by the age of seventeen, that everything is known.

There are no doubt some adults who act like 12-year-olds and vice-versa. But that’s not the point here, we aren’t looking at exceptions to the general rule that age means a fair bit in the general population! I’m only 22 but when I look back to when I was 17, I’m just surprised at how much I’ve learnt and grown.

My dad who is 50, when looking back to 22 must be going, wow how much have I changed, how much have I learnt? Age says a lot! What a shame it would be that by taking the time to observe the world in your teenage years you would have already matured, which doesn’t happen in any case. There’s a lot more to it than that.

Furthermore you aren’t a fully grown man or woman until you’re in your 20’s anyhow.

Ah yes…typically said by adults, like somehow that by observing their own teenage years, that they know everything in the minds of other teenagers.

Sorry, couldn’t resist.

As far as I know, my own experience of the adults surrounding me and some of the teenagers surrounding me (including myself) support my own opinion. Even teachers have said that students seem to know a vast more than they do.

While experience is the best teacher, experience is nothing without reason. If you don’t actively try to learn from what you’ve seen, you’ll learn nothing. And with kids “growing up too fast” nowadays, they are trying to learn more than ever.