at a crossroads

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kelmc2

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I have been struggling with so much lately. I am 22 and a graduate student, working part time. In college, I was a part of the party scene - drinking primarily, which facilitated many bad decisions, including giving into sexual temptations (more than the “normal” mistakes). I grew up in the Catholic faith and honestly, that lifestyle of drinking heavily and “who cares about anything” is not who I am. I am an intelligent girl, very outgoing, fun-loving, happy and nonjudgmental. I am coming to terms with my mistakes but it is very hard, especially since I am in a serious relationship with a man I am truly in love with. He was and is much more conservative than me and has a lot of trouble with my past, especially with the amount of people I slept with. However, I have come to realize that the pain and cause of fights between us stems from the fact that I am not truly healed from how I had treated my body and the fact that I am not pure. He judges me and it affects me so much! However - though he has all the justifications in the world and they are not nearly as numerous as mine, he has made mistakes to. He is very rascist (in the sense that people of different races should not date), has had 3 other sexual partners than me and there are many more mistakes, just like anyone! He says that I am lying to the Catholic Church by trying to live my faith more. But isnt that what my faith is about? God accepts you as long as you are sorry for what you did and try to live your life by changing your actions and living differently. Am I really lying to my faith? 😦 Also, I am struggling with my sexuality in that I would now love to wait until marriage. Is that worthy even though I am not physically a virgin? My boyfriend now thinks this is pointless, but in my mind it would seem to help me heal from what I have done. Is it possible to start over? I want to restore the purity of what sex is and how God intended it to be used - to create life and the union of a married man and woman. I am just so lost and I apologize if this entry seems lengthy, dumb and selfish… PLEASE PRAY FOR ME

Also, in addition my boyfriend is an amazing person, he isnt all bad!
 
Holy Mother Mary we pray for our friend and ask that you grant her guidance and wisdom. Please hear us

Hail Mary, full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
**I did the same thing in college
and it was a long time coming
back into the truth of the Church.
I went to confession, stayed chaste for
several years then, after having given up on
marriage as a vocation and looking into religious
life, I found my wife. Who had made all the mistakes
I had made and a few more. We are now married for
the last 12yrs we are happy and sex almost never enters
into our thinking. You must be best friends, not best in
bed! Of course I will pray for you!
**
 
Dear Kelmc2,
seek confession and spiritual advice. aske BF to attend with you. lead a chaste life until married in the church. God will help you.

MEMORARE,
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen
 
kelmc2 said:
I have been struggling with so much lately. I am 22 and a graduate student, working part time. In college, I was a part of the party scene - drinking primarily, which facilitated many bad decisions, including giving into sexual temptations (more than the “normal” mistakes). I grew up in the Catholic faith and honestly, that lifestyle of drinking heavily and “who cares about anything” is not who I am. I am an intelligent girl, very outgoing, fun-loving, happy and nonjudgmental. I am coming to terms with my mistakes but it is very hard, especially since I am in a serious relationship with a man I am truly in love with. He was and is much more conservative than me and has a lot of trouble with my past, especially with the amount of people I slept with. However, I have come to realize that the pain and cause of fights between us stems from the fact that I am not truly healed from how I had treated my body and the fact that I am not pure. He judges me and it affects me so much! However - though he has all the justifications in the world and they are not nearly as numerous as mine, he has made mistakes to. He is very rascist (in the sense that people of different races should not date), has had 3 other sexual partners than me and there are many more mistakes, just like anyone! He says that I am lying to the Catholic Church by trying to live my faith more. But isnt that what my faith is about? God accepts you as long as you are sorry for what you did and try to live your life by changing your actions and living differently. Am I really lying to my faith? 😦 Also, I am struggling with my sexuality in that I would now love to wait until marriage. Is that worthy even though I am not physically a virgin? My boyfriend now thinks this is pointless, but in my mind it would seem to help me heal from what I have done. Is it possible to start over? I want to restore the purity of what sex is and how God intended it to be used - to create life and the union of a married man and woman. I am just so lost and I apologize if this entry seems lengthy, dumb and selfish… PLEASE PRAY FOR ME

Also, in addition my boyfriend is an amazing person, he isnt all bad!
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Go make an appointment (do not fear) with a priest ASAP, drag your boyfriend with you (if he wont go) go yourself . You can confess and live pure and right in Gods grace today of course you will have to be sorry for your sins even sexual relations with your present boyfriend (which would have to stop). Your present boyfriend thinks its pointless to wait till marriage so he can keep using you as folks in your past have, but he is even more guilty because of his ability to manipulate you and past judgement on you for your past that he is part of. I speak to you with love and respect and from the same situation (only from your boyfriends point of view.) God will forgive you totally, and you can go on knowing and trusting in this for it is true and you are healed, trust in it, but your boyfriend will strugle every day of your life together with this (this is my experience right or wrong) he may become perfect in every other way. The last part about your boyfriend again is my experience and opinion I try not to pass on opinion, but from what you wrote I felt moved. Bless you, you gladly have my prayers as does your friend.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen. 👍 😉
 
blue said:
Go make an appointment (do not fear) with a priest ASAP, drag your boyfriend with you (if he wont go) go yourself . You can confess and live pure and right in Gods grace today of course you will have to be sorry for your sins even sexual relations with your present boyfriend (which would have to stop). Your present boyfriend thinks its pointless to wait till marriage so he can keep using you as folks in your past have, but he is even more guilty because of his ability to manipulate you and past judgement on you for your past that he is part of. I speak to you with love and respect and from the same situation (only from your boyfriends point of view.) God will forgive you totally, and you can go on knowing and trusting in this for it is true and you are healed, trust in it, but your boyfriend will strugle every day of your life together with this (this is my experience right or wrong) he may become perfect in every other way.
Click to expand...
Yes, blue, I see it this way also. Unless, he comes to deal with his past life as Kelmc has, their life will not be happy. I pray they are able to work this out together before marrying and start their life together in God’s love.
Peace, Carlan
 
Thank you, your prayers and words mean so much, you have no idea!
 
kelmc2 said:
I have been struggling with so much lately. I am 22 and a graduate student, working part time. In college, I was a part of the party scene - drinking primarily, which facilitated many bad decisions, including giving into sexual temptations (more than the “normal” mistakes). I grew up in the Catholic faith and honestly, that lifestyle of drinking heavily and “who cares about anything” is not who I am. I am an intelligent girl, very outgoing, fun-loving, happy and nonjudgmental. I am coming to terms with my mistakes but it is very hard, especially since I am in a serious relationship with a man I am truly in love with. He was and is much more conservative than me and has a lot of trouble with my past, especially with the amount of people I slept with. However, I have come to realize that the pain and cause of fights between us stems from the fact that I am not truly healed from how I had treated my body and the fact that I am not pure. He judges me and it affects me so much! However - though he has all the justifications in the world and they are not nearly as numerous as mine, he has made mistakes to. He is very rascist (in the sense that people of different races should not date), has had 3 other sexual partners than me and there are many more mistakes, just like anyone! He says that I am lying to the Catholic Church by trying to live my faith more. But isnt that what my faith is about? God accepts you as long as you are sorry for what you did and try to live your life by changing your actions and living differently. Am I really lying to my faith? 😦 Also, I am struggling with my sexuality in that I would now love to wait until marriage. Is that worthy even though I am not physically a virgin? My boyfriend now thinks this is pointless, but in my mind it would seem to help me heal from what I have done. Is it possible to start over? I want to restore the purity of what sex is and how God intended it to be used - to create life and the union of a married man and woman. I am just so lost and I apologize if this entry seems lengthy, dumb and selfish… PLEASE PRAY FOR ME

Also, in addition my boyfriend is an amazing person, he isnt all bad!
Click to expand...
I’ve been in a similar position in the past myself, and I agree with the other posters about confession and spiritual direction. It is never to late to start a fresh, and it is always worth it, remember the only unforgivable sin is the sin we wont allow God to forgive. God loves you and is always waiting for us to return to Him, no matter how often we fall. May He Bless and keep you, you are in my prayers.

The season of advent is one of looking forward to the coming of the Lord and is particularly associated with the prophet Isaiah and as we find in Isaiah 1:18"Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool

God Bless
 
Theophorus said:
Isaiah 1:18"Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool God Bless
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I am think ing this is the perfect counciling for Kelmc’s crossroads.
Peace to them and all of us this Advent season.:)Carlan
 
No, it is not wrong or pointless (as your boyfriend says) to want to be chaste now.

It seems to me that his attitude should be a red flag to you.

May the Lord continue to guide you on His path.
 
PATER NOSTER,
qui es in caelis,
sanctificetur nomen tuum.
Adveniat regnum tuum.
Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra.
Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie,
et dimitte nobis debita nostra
sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris.
Et ne nos inducas in tentationem,
sed libera nos a malo. Amen.
 
ProVobis said:
PATER NOSTER,
qui es in caelis,
sanctificetur nomen tuum.
Adveniat regnum tuum.
Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra.
Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie,
et dimitte nobis debita nostra
sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris.
Et ne nos inducas in tentationem,
sed libera nos a malo. Amen.
Click to expand...
How I do love to pray the Our Father in Latin, I join you in prayer for this couple. Peace, Carlan
 
Praying for you to receive the grace’s nessary to fix this mess, never look back and have a wonderful Christ Centered, fulfilled life (with or without bf). I pray for you. Amen. Mother Mary please intercede.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death. Amen. 👍
 
kelmc2 said:
I have been struggling with so much lately. I am 22 and a graduate student, working part time. In college, I was a part of the party scene - drinking primarily, which facilitated many bad decisions, including giving into sexual temptations (more than the “normal” mistakes). I grew up in the Catholic faith and honestly, that lifestyle of drinking heavily and “who cares about anything” is not who I am. I am an intelligent girl, very outgoing, fun-loving, happy and nonjudgmental. I am coming to terms with my mistakes but it is very hard, especially since I am in a serious relationship with a man I am truly in love with. He was and is much more conservative than me and has a lot of trouble with my past, especially with the amount of people I slept with. However, I have come to realize that the pain and cause of fights between us stems from the fact that I am not truly healed from how I had treated my body and the fact that I am not pure. He judges me and it affects me so much! However - though he has all the justifications in the world and they are not nearly as numerous as mine, he has made mistakes to. He is very rascist (in the sense that people of different races should not date), has had 3 other sexual partners than me and there are many more mistakes, just like anyone! He says that I am lying to the Catholic Church by trying to live my faith more. But isnt that what my faith is about? God accepts you as long as you are sorry for what you did and try to live your life by changing your actions and living differently. Am I really lying to my faith? 😦 Also, I am struggling with my sexuality in that I would now love to wait until marriage. Is that worthy even though I am not physically a virgin? My boyfriend now thinks this is pointless, but in my mind it would seem to help me heal from what I have done. Is it possible to start over? I want to restore the purity of what sex is and how God intended it to be used - to create life and the union of a married man and woman. I am just so lost and I apologize if this entry seems lengthy, dumb and selfish… PLEASE PRAY FOR ME

Also, in addition my boyfriend is an amazing person, he isnt all bad!
Click to expand...
This boyfriend of yours is very misinformed when it comes to our faith. Just seek the mercy of Jesus in the sacrament of reconciliation whenever you faulter. He will be right there waiting for you with his arms wide open to forgive you. Advent is an excellent opportunity for you to go. And it is always possible to start over. Don’t delay!

Praying for you and your boyfriend …
 
Thank you all for your prayers 🙂 I met with a priest for confession and I found much peace. My boyfriend is even considering going himself and has apologized for being selfish and is trying to understand with compassion. Hopefully everything turns out ok!

God Bless you all:thumbsup:
 
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