At a loss what to do

[Rocks_91]

I want to convert and be a Catholic but no one is helping me. I live in India and, in my city, we don’t have RCIA classes. The priests are supposed to give instructions to converts. There was one priest I went to who said he’d help me convert but after giving me four instruction classes, he decided that because I don’t have a job and didn’t finish school, I’m not fit to be a Christian. He also said that he finds me to be arrogant because I questioned his belief that Adam and Eve are mythical. I don’t have a job because I have a mental illness, and suffer from depression. I’m also a little socially awkward, but I did nothing bad that I shouldn’t be able to convert. He said that I don’t have a ‘Christian disposition’ and I should find another priest.

I talked to the parish priest at the same church and he has been singularly unhelpful. He kept telling me that he needs time to find a priest but even after months he kept telling me that he is unable to find me a priest to tutor me and after that, I’ve given up and don’t even feel like going to church because I feel sick at heart. Going to other parishes is inconvenient for me because they are far away and also I’m unable to travel alone because of my social phobia.

I don’t know why the priests are behaving badly with me. Can they deny me the sacraments. I want to be able to receive communion. Don’t I deserve graces? I chose to believe in Jesus but they are denying me union with him. I also need the other sacraments. I want to be anointed too.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

 

[marlap2]

Rocks,

My extreme sorrow for you right now! I think you are being really called to a special kind of sanctity, as it’s so difficult in this circumstance for you to embrace the Church fully, but with God, nothing is impossible. His plans for you may seem confusing right now, but I think our Lord is calling you to a special job… to teach us!

For some reason, when I read your article, I was brought to mind, a specific saint.
Therese of Lisieux had to deal with very difficult sisters who simply didn’t like her when she was a nun in a convent. What she decided to do is love them with her whole heart, anyway. She ended up softening even the hardest heart. Love has a way of doing that.

Nothing can stop you from attending a Mass, even if you aren’t a Catholic. And because, my dear Rocks, you have such a desire for baptism, God in his mercy understands this. There is a "baptism of desire. Baptism of desire is a teaching of the Roman Catholic Church explaining that those who desire baptism, but are not baptized with water through the Christian ritual, because of death, nevertheless bring about the fruits of Baptism, if their grace of conversion included an internal act of perfect love and contrition which automatically cleanses the soul of all sin. Hence, the Catechism of the Catholic Church observes, “For catechumens who die before their Baptism, their explicit desire to receive it, together with repentance for their sins, and charity, assures them the salvation that they were not able to receive through the sacrament” (CCC 1259).

Now this doesn’t mean that you can receive the other sacraments yet, but it does mean that if for some reason you died before receiving Baptism, you would still be saved.

I am thinking, if you attend Mass faithfully, do your best on your own to understand the Church’s teachings (read the BIble and the Catechism) be friendly and loving to the priest, even when he’s uncharitable, and just be humble, the priest will learn from you many things… How a humble, sweet, courageous, simple person imitates Christ in a way that wealthy, learned, and capable people have trouble doing.

If you have questions, there are many very knowledgeable people who can help you here. If you need prayer, there are also very many prayerful people who are praying and will pray for you now.

Hang in there, pray hard, and smile… and forgive the priests, if you can…

Blessings

 

[Jeffe]

I’m sorry to hear this, I’d recommend writing to the Catholic Answers Forum directly, I’m sure one of the staff can help you!

Contact Catholic Answers Forum

My prayers are with you!

-Jeffe

 

[Joe_5859]

That is terrible!

My heart goes out to you! No priest can deny you the sacraments simply because he doesn’t care for your personality. I wish I had some concrete advice as to how you should proceed. Certainly, prayer (particularly meditation upon Jesus’ suffering and death) would be a great place to start. Our God is one who has suffered and suffers with us.

You could contact the bishop’s office and inform him of the situation. I don’t know if that would be difficult or problematic for you in your situation, but that may be the only way to resolve this.

I will pray for you!

 

[thequeen]

Please report this to the Bishop right away even if you have to take someone with you that you trust,because no priest has a right to tell you that you are no good we are all sinners in the meantime continue to come to mass when I first converted I was shy and backward but after i met good people and found a kind loving priest because there was no rcia in my parish at that time either,I really came out of my shell I will pray that you will find a good compassionate priest who will help you come home to The Catholic Church

 

[fred_conty]

Hi Rocks,
Try reading a catechism. A simple question and answer kind would be best. Then write
down the things you don’t understand in one chapter. Then ask them on this
forum. Once you have the answers, do the same with the next chapter.​

“Ask and you shall receive.”

 

[Rocks_91]

That is terrible!

My heart goes out to you! No priest can deny you the sacraments simply because he doesn’t care for your personality. I wish I had some concrete advice as to how you should proceed. Certainly, prayer (particularly meditation upon Jesus’ suffering and death) would be a great place to start. Our God is one who has suffered and suffers with us.

You could contact the bishop’s office and inform him of the situation. I don’t know if that would be difficult or problematic for you in your situation, but that may be the only way to resolve this.

I will pray for you!

Today, I asked the parish priest again if he were able to find someone to tutor me and he replied with a laugh, “You go to a protestant church. Here it’s not possible. We won’t help you.”

I’ve emailed the archbishop explaining the situation but haven’t received a reply yet. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Nor do I believe that I will be taken seriously given that I’m a young guy and have a problem and these priests are in their 60s and 70s. I truly wish they would not be so uncaring. They deliver great homilies every Sunday about loving every lowly person, especially those who are sick or hurting. But when they are sitting in their office, they become different people.

They are keeping me away from my saviour as if he died for them but not for me. I know I’m suffering because I myself asked Jesus to give me the grace to be crucified with him, but how much longer can I live without the sacraments? They obviously don’t feel that I’m deserving of communion and I know that communion is not anyone’s right but I suppose I’m not worthy of union with Christ? Maybe Jesus himself doesn’t want to commune with me, I suppose. Maybe he doesn’t love me. Or else wouldn’t he make a way for me to become a Christian? If these priests are rejecting me, and they represent Christ, then in a way, isn’t it Jesus who is rejecting me?

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Today, I asked the parish priest again if he were able to find someone to tutor me and he replied with a laugh, “You go to a protestant church. Here it’s not possible. We won’t help you.”

What a jerk. I am also disabled due to mental illness (severe bipolar) after a fruitful, high-tithing, 20 year career in engineering. Our last pastor couldn’t tell the truth from fiction and just because I told him something was no reason to even consider my point of view – especially if I was manic when I offered it. Gosh, I have zero doubt that was part of what drove me to mania. Luckily, our current pastor is just the opposite; he treats me with respect, and he supports and encourages me all the more whenever I’m either manic or depressed.

They deliver great homilies every Sunday about loving every lowly person, especially those who are sick or hurting. But when they are sitting in their office, they become different people.

Bingo. A parish priest once confided in me that most parish priests are so busy with the dealings of operating their parishes, that many end up compromising their prayer life – and when you have a priest without a prayer life, you have a problem. Those were his words, not mine.

I’ve raised the issue in this forums that Jesus said, “you cannot serve both God and mammon,” in the context that our parish priests are asked to oversee financial and other worldly issues, along with being spiritual leaders. So in that regard I was pondering whether priests and bishops are asked to do things that God said is impossible. I didn’t get much support for that view, thus far. But I’m used to it. As a mental illness sufferer, being marginalized is a way of life.

They are keeping me away from my saviour as if he died for them but not for me. I know I’m suffering because I myself asked Jesus to give me the grace to be crucified with him, but how much longer can I live without the sacraments? They obviously don’t feel that I’m deserving of communion and I know that communion is not anyone’s right but I suppose I’m not worthy of union with Christ? Maybe Jesus himself doesn’t want to commune with me, I suppose. Maybe he doesn’t love me. Or else wouldn’t he make a way for me to become a Christian? If these priests are rejecting me, and they represent Christ, then in a way, isn’t it Jesus who is rejecting me?

It’s too bad so many leaders, both clergy and lay, are hypocrites and unloving. In this regard, not much has changed since Jesus had such harsh words for the lawyers and Pharisees. They are experts in theology, but even while they preach transformation the way Christ intended, it doesn’t apply to them. They couldn’t see the egg on their faces if you shone a spotlight on it and held up a perfect mirror for them.

I wish you well. We don’t “earn” our love from God any more than my children “earn” their love for me. I love them dearly, even when they do things I don’t like. It is not about conforming and kiss-up contests, it is about unconditional love. Your persecution by this priest can be your biggest blessing if you are able to get through it. Pray for this priest, that God may have mercy on him for what he seems to be doing to you and undoubtedly others.

Alan

 

[Joe_5859]

Today, I asked the parish priest again if he were able to find someone to tutor me and he replied with a laugh, “You go to a protestant church. Here it’s not possible. We won’t help you.”

I’ve emailed the archbishop explaining the situation but haven’t received a reply yet. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Nor do I believe that I will be taken seriously given that I’m a young guy and have a problem and these priests are in their 60s and 70s. I truly wish they would not be so uncaring. They deliver great homilies every Sunday about loving every lowly person, especially those who are sick or hurting. But when they are sitting in their office, they become different people.

They are keeping me away from my saviour as if he died for them but not for me. I know I’m suffering because I myself asked Jesus to give me the grace to be crucified with him, but how much longer can I live without the sacraments? They obviously don’t feel that I’m deserving of communion and I know that communion is not anyone’s right but I suppose I’m not worthy of union with Christ? Maybe Jesus himself doesn’t want to commune with me, I suppose. Maybe he doesn’t love me. Or else wouldn’t he make a way for me to become a Christian? If these priests are rejecting me, and they represent Christ, then in a way, isn’t it Jesus who is rejecting me?

Oh my. I’m sorry it has been made so difficult for you to come to the Catholic Church. All of us, even priests, are susceptible to failing to live out our obligations. Jesus did not turn away any who came to him, no matter what their affliction was. I will pray for you and that this priest comes around.

 

[Maristella]

Rocks, I am praying for you and this situation. I hope you hear back from the Archbishop soon.

 

[Monica4316]

I want to convert and be a Catholic but no one is helping me. I live in India and, in my city, we don’t have RCIA classes. The priests are supposed to give instructions to converts. There was one priest I went to who said he’d help me convert but after giving me four instruction classes, he decided that because I don’t have a job and didn’t finish school, I’m not fit to be a Christian. He also said that he finds me to be arrogant because I questioned his belief that Adam and Eve are mythical. I don’t have a job because I have a mental illness, and suffer from depression. I’m also a little socially awkward, but I did nothing bad that I shouldn’t be able to convert. He said that I don’t have a ‘Christian disposition’ and I should find another priest.

I’m very sorry to hear that if you don’t have a job or didn’t finish school, I don’t see how that makes you any less ‘worthy’ to be a Christian. Lol, if it helps, I don’t have a job either God wants everyone to know Him. Also, you might be interested in knowing that the Church actually teaches that Adam and Eve are NOT mythical. I read about this a while ago. Catholics are only allowed to believe that Adam and Eve were real people, who actually fell from their unfallen state, and we all descended from them. I think maybe you should find another priest, since this priest didn’t want to give you instruction any more. Forgive him, move on, and talk to a different priest don’t get discouraged. Do you have any traditional (Latin Mass) parishes, such as FSSP? (those in communion with Rome, though). The priests there tend to have traditional beliefs and follow Church teachings.

I talked to the parish priest at the same church and he has been singularly unhelpful. He kept telling me that he needs time to find a priest but even after months he kept telling me that he is unable to find me a priest to tutor me and after that, I’ve given up and don’t even feel like going to church because I feel sick at heart. Going to other parishes is inconvenient for me because they are far away and also I’m unable to travel alone because of my social phobia.

Is there anyone you know who can perhaps give you a ride to another parish? Can you phone a priest from another parish?

I don’t know why the priests are behaving badly with me. Can they deny me the sacraments. I want to be able to receive communion. Don’t I deserve graces? I chose to believe in Jesus but they are denying me union with him. I also need the other sacraments. I want to be anointed too.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

I will pray for you… that is really unfair. Try to accept it as a trial and don’t give up. Keep praying that God would give you an opportunity. Maybe you’ll meet another priest, maybe God would help you overcome the social phobia. You never know. Just keep praying, and pray for Mary’s help as well

God bless

 

[Monica4316]

Today, I asked the parish priest again if he were able to find someone to tutor me and he replied with a laugh, “You go to a protestant church. Here it’s not possible. We won’t help you.”

I’ve emailed the archbishop explaining the situation but haven’t received a reply yet. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Nor do I believe that I will be taken seriously given that I’m a young guy and have a problem and these priests are in their 60s and 70s. I truly wish they would not be so uncaring. They deliver great homilies every Sunday about loving every lowly person, especially those who are sick or hurting. But when they are sitting in their office, they become different people.

that is so sad try to keep trusting in God, don’t think about the situation with the priests too much, what they did is between them and God and He will deal with it… but He is there for you and will give you the strength and grace to keep going, and - pray for an opportunity to find a priest who will care and understand

They are keeping me away from my saviour as if he died for them but not for me. I know I’m suffering because I myself asked Jesus to give me the grace to be crucified with him, but how much longer can I live without the sacraments? They obviously don’t feel that I’m deserving of communion and I know that communion is not anyone’s right but I suppose I’m not worthy of union with Christ? Maybe Jesus himself doesn’t want to commune with me, I suppose. Maybe he doesn’t love me. Or else wouldn’t he make a way for me to become a Christian? If these priests are rejecting me, and they represent Christ, then in a way, isn’t it Jesus who is rejecting me?

oh no, not at all, please don’t think that. Yes priests represent Christ, but it’s also true that He would not reject anyone. There were times in the lives of the Saints when they faced opposition even from priests and bishops, for the work that God gave them to do. I guess it’s a trial that God allows. Maybe He even let the priests treat you this way, to help you be more united to His own suffering. I know that is difficult to deal with, but many of the Saints even said that suffering is a gift because it allows us to help other souls, and it is a sharing in the Cross… offer your suffering to God, in union with the Cross, for an intention and for other souls you said that you asked for the grace to be crucified with Christ, and perhaps this is an answer. But this doesn’t mean that you’ll never have the Sacraments. Maybe you’ll just have to wait longer. Pray that eventually, you would have them.

Jesus definitely does want (even longs) to be united with you, and for you to receive the Eucharist. He died for you and loves you infinitely. There are many priests who have a heart after His own, and are caring and loving, and pray that you would find just such a priest. Pray much that He would give you an opportunity.

No one can ever deserve Communion. It’s in His mercy that God gives us this gift. He would not reject you, because you want to suffer with Him, and you want to receive Him and be in His Church… this desire you have is from the Holy Spirit. Maybe this is a trial where you have to wait and learn to trust God more, with the future.

God bless you

 

[Monica4316]

“Your Cross” by St Francis de Sales

The everlasting God has

in His wisdom foreseen

from eternity the cross

that He now presents to you

as a gift from His inmost heart.

This cross He now sends you

He has considered with His all-knowing eyes,

understood with His divine mind,

tested with His wise justice,

warmed with loving arms

and weighed with His own hands

to see that it be not one inch too large

and not one ounce too heavy for you.

He has blessed it with His holy Name,

anointed it with His consolation,

taken one last glance at you

and your courage,

and then sent it to you from heaven,

a special greeting from God to you,

an alms of the all-merciful love of God.