At my wits end...she's obsessed!

[Lexee15]

I’m not sure what to do anymore…it’s my mother. It seems as though she’s obsessed with seeing “curanderos”(witchdoctors of sorts).

She has spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on “healings,” not sure if anyone knows what I’m talking about, but most mexicans have, at least, heard about these practices.

She’s been doing this since she was very young, she was very sick as a child and it wasn’t until she was taken for a healing that she got better. Everyone is out to get her, there is ALWAYS a curse on her. She suffers and she’s on the brink of death at times according to her and it’s only when these “healers” “cure” her is she better…until she sees someone else and then they tell her she’s on the brink of death, etc., etc., etc.

I have told her that it is a sin to see these people and that the Church expressly teaches that this is wrong and that you only open up yourself to bad spirits. She gets upset and tells me that these things exist and that she has to find ways to heal herself. I tell her that I know they exist, just like the Church knows they exist, but going to these “healers” is not the answer.

I don’t doubt that maybe there is something going on…but I think she’s made it worse by opening herself up to the evil spirits that accompany these “healing rituals” and the amount of money she’s spent on this is ridiculous!!!

I think she has a martyr complex or something, she’s always suffering, she’s always the victim, no one understands or loves her, etc. Nothing is ever just what it is, it’s always that someone’s out to get her…it’s a curse, it’s witchcraft, someone’s trying to hurt her or even kill her.

I don’t know what to do anymore, she’s got some serious issues and I really feel she needs an exorcism to get rid of whatever evil she’s carrying around from years of “healing rituals”.

Your thoughts, suggestions and advice on this situation would be greatly appreciated. Am I being too critical or do I have a legitimate concern?

 

[ack]

You should be concerned about this. I’ve heard some really scary stories about things that happened at “limpias”.

Not sure what you should do, but you should be concerned…

 

[nobeerinheaven]

This is a serious matter. You need to contact the diocese and get in contact with their appointed exorcist, and explain to him the problem. By opening herself to occult practices, she has opened the door to demonic influence. The exorcist can bless her, repeatedly if necessary, which can remove any curses on her - particularly those given by the “healers” she visits, so that they may extract more money from her to get the curse removed (a vicious, expensive, and dangerous cycle).

I’d strongly suggest reading (or, perhaps, buying her) both of Fr Amorth’s books on exorcism, they deal with these sorts of “healings” at length.

 

[drafdog]

You are not likely to change your mother in this matter. Look for other ways to distract her so that she is not concentrating on herself so much. Is it possible that she is a hypochondriac? Should she be seeing a therapist? Is the amount of money that she has spent more than what the cost of medical services for the problems would have been?
It’s her life, not yours. Let up on the woman. She is using her own money so you aren’t losing by it. If you think it is foolish remember that you must honor your parents, not criticize.

Matthew

 

[Lexee15]

You are not likely to change your mother in this matter. Look for other ways to distract her so that she is not concentrating on herself so much. Is it possible that she is a hypochondriac? Should she be seeing a therapist? Is the amount of money that she has spent more than what the cost of medical services for the problems would have been?
It’s her life, not yours. Let up on the woman. She is using her own money so you aren’t losing by it. If you think it is foolish remember that you must honor your parents, not criticize.

Matthew

I agree with you that I probably won’t change her mind in this matter…it’s like an addiction. Unfortunately, she pulls us into her things, she doesn’t drive so we are forced to drive her to these places, if we don’t we never hear the end of the guilt trip.

At the moment she’s in Mexico and that’s where she’s seeing this new “healer” so I have no say as to how she spends her time. When she’s here anything and everything is proof that someone is trying to curse her, dirt by the front door, a penny in the driveway, owls flying overhead, etc.

I don’t know if I’d call her a hypochondriac because she doesn’t complain of having real illnesses and needing medication, she hates taking medication. Any illness, ache or pain she does get she associates with witchcraft, she believes the curse is what is making her sick. And yes, she should be seeing a therapist, but that wouldn’t last long because anyone who tells her something she doesn’t want to hear is automatically wrong and she’ll refuse to continue to see that person.

As much as she has spent on this over the years she could have gotten any medical treatment that she may have needed over and over again. It is her life and it would be nice if she kept these things to herself, but she doesn’t and she pays these people to “heal” us by using pictures etc. So as much as I would like to be left out of it I’m not.

And she doesn’t use her own money, she uses the household money to pay for this. My dad sends her money for what she says are things she needs, but she uses it for the “healings” and when she is working it is her money, but I find it unfair that she gives these people the money instead of saving for retirement or helping with the household expenses.

My dad is 62 and a farm laborer all his life…what kind of retirement plan do you think they get? If she’s not going to help and pitch in for when they can’t work the least she could do is not take from what is saved for those fraudulent “healers”!!! She is 61 and cleans houses…she works hard and it irks me that she doesn’t understand that she’s being lied to, over and over. There doesn’t seem to be an end, all it takes is for someone to tell her that there’s something wrong, or for her to get sick and then it’s off to find those liars again.

I do honor her…believe me it takes every bit of me to not tell her to STOP already!!!

 

[Milliardo]

You are not likely to change your mother in this matter. Look for other ways to distract her so that she is not concentrating on herself so much. Is it possible that she is a hypochondriac? Should she be seeing a therapist? Is the amount of money that she has spent more than what the cost of medical services for the problems would have been?
It’s her life, not yours. Let up on the woman. She is using her own money so you aren’t losing by it. If you think it is foolish remember that you must honor your parents, not criticize.

Matthew

That is correct: she had a positive outcome going to them when she was younger, so it is but natural for a person to come back to where there’s something positive that happened. Telling her it’s a sin will not likely change her mind as she experienced a positive result when she went there when she was young. Pray for her, that the Holy Spirit might open her mind and that she might realize the harm she’s doing. It might be good to go to your parish priest and ask him what to do as well; it would be great if you could get your parish priest to talk to your mother about it.

 

[nobeerinheaven]

The fact that she is obsessed with an apparent curse could itself be the result of demonic influence. As I mentioned before, Fr Amorth has dealt with these topics at length - healers, like the one’s your mother has been visiting, do have some limited power through the direction and service of demonic agencies. Since they know your mom is a reliable buck, whenever there is a curse on her, they intermittently curse her and then take the curse off whenever she comes around and pays. It’s an easy exploit, which is why it is so absolutely necessary that you take her concerns seriously and consult your diocese exorcist. She may very well have a curse on her, which is leading her to see everything as evidence of that curse. Only an exorcist will be able to remove her from the vicious cycles of “healers” that are hurting her and taking her money. I know it may sound medieval, but trust me, your mom is one among thousands (conservatively estimated) who fall into these spiritually dangerous traps. A good exorcist has plenty of experience ministering to these sorts of problems. You should contact your diocese as soon as you can.

 

[Robaynne]

I cannot believe that there are people out there who believe in such rubbish. But unfortunately it is true here is South Africa I still get shocked to hear the stories it is shocking, sickening and also very sad.

That people can waste their money listening to these people. Here there are certain cultures who actually believe in Ancestors, Traditional Healers and Sankomas that is what they call them. And you get all different kinds of race groups going to these people who actually bluff them that they can heal them. There is a lady working for me who looks after my kids. Becoz of her culture the lady next door to me asked my Nanny to get her MUTI (medicine they call it) so that her husband can stop cheating on her and only see her and no other women. My nanny refused as she is a Christian women and does not believe in going to Sankomas. We had to really pray about this one as it was becoming so serious this Sankomas were telling men especially that if you have sex with a Virgin you will be cured of the AIDS Virus so with a result young girls were been raped and infected becoz of this. And also this people kill young children and take then body parts to make medicine.

This is really something that people should be concerned about it is a worry that in this day and age people actually believe in this. Are they not afraid of the doors that they are opening. God is a reality he keeps showing us signs of the wrong we are doing and still we do not listen.

Lexee I suggest that you prayer warriors to come and pray for your mother. Her problem is psychological as after she goes to these people she feels that she is healed. Does she not believe that God can heal her and when she gives her life to him that she will be healed. You need to really pray for her that she sees what she is doing that she cannot keep going on like this. This is wrong and you need to tell her and make her understand. I know that it is not easy especially when people are set in their ways but you also needs to let you Dad aware of what she is doing with the money. You cannot allow this to go on I know that she is your mother and you need to respect her but refuse to take her to these places no matter how much she puts you on a guilt trip make her understand that this is wrong and you want no part of it.

I am sorry this is really hurting you and you are not comfortable going with her to these places. You need to put your foot down and put a stop to this if she wants to go to these places then she must find somebody to take her there.

I am sorry to say that you are encouraging her by taking her to these places. She is disrespecting you by forcing you to take to these places. She is aware what your beliefs are and that you are not comfortable. I know that she is you mom and you love her very much but you are also spoiling her. This cannot go on and you should put a stop to it.

Goodluck and God Bless. Hang in there he will give you the answers you need. Ask God to guide you in the right direction.

 

[Lexee15]

She is spoiled, too spoiled, she is the kind of person who throws a fit if she doesn’t get what she wants when she wants it. It’s amazing that at times I feel like I’m dealing with two year old and not an adult.

She also considers herself to be a very religious person, she’s praying all the time and heaven forbid we don’t pray what, when and where she wants to because it’s a total fight, but that’s besides the point. Anyway, I’ve told her this is wrong and not ok with the Church, her response is that they “act” like these things don’t exist. She also hangs on to what some priests have said, that this type of thing exists, but priests can’t talk about…etc. Then I ask her what those priests say about how to deal with that, she then says that they recommend an EXORCISM! They say NOT to see these “healers”, she seems to miss that part though.

She quotes something in Scripture, not sure where it is exactly, it goes something like this “…help yourself and I shall help you…” and that’s what she uses to justify her looking for these people to “heal” her. I’ve known of some of those people who have wanted her to take them consecrated Hosts to use for her healings!!! As far as I know she never has, and that’s because I told her she was nuts and how it was a sacrilege to do so, absolutely wrong!!! I told her that if they needed it so bad then they could get it themselves, I don’t know if they ever did or what.

That’s why I say she must be obsessed or, as a pp put it, she is so wrapped up by these evil spirits that she doesn’t see anything with sense and clarity. I do believe she needs an Exorcism, perhaps we all do since we’ve been part of this whole mess for years and years!!!

I will not be part of this any longer, I will not encourage or aid in her quest for “healing” even if she does get angry and guilts me to death or doesn’t talk to me. I tried to get her to come back and help me with ds, I figured if she did this I could find a priest to talk with her and have an exorcism done if possible, but she said she had found someone that could “heal” her and she couldn’t leave until she was finished with her treatment. One of the things she’s trying to get healed is vitiglio(sp?) a skin problem she developed about five years ago. She blames my dad and my sister for this condition…but believes a healer can make it go away:shrug:, I just don’t get it.

I don’t know what to do or say, I’m tired of this, it really is a never ending, vicious cycle. It’s just sad that my mom doesn’t get it, doesn’t see it for what it really is!!!

 

[Liberanosamalo]

I agree with you that I probably won’t change her mind in this matter…it’s like an addiction. Unfortunately, she pulls us into her things, she doesn’t drive so we are forced to drive her to these places, if we don’t we never hear the end of the guilt trip.

First you stop driving her. Guilt trip or no trip, you are enabling her. But you need to phrase it that you are protecting her from those people.

You have received good advice here. Read Gabriel Amorth’s books. He has a very helpful section at the end about getting rid of demonic influences in one’s life. Make your mother read the book. He is the Chief Exorcist for the Diocese of Rome. He knows what he is talking about. The first thing he’d say is no to the curanderos.

Next, you need to take your mother to a healing mass. She needs to get her healing from GOD, not the other side. She needs to go to confession, which is a small exorcism of sorts. Start putting blessed salt in her food (it’s used in the Rite of Exorcism) and have both your houses blessed by a priest.

The supernatural, like the natural, abhors a vacuum. She needs to fill her life with God, because the Cross was more powerful than Satan’s works.

Good luck.

And tell her those who really are working for God don’t take money for it. That’s how she can tell the frauds.

 

[mschrank]

This is a serious matter. You need to contact the diocese and get in contact with their appointed exorcist, and explain to him the problem. By opening herself to occult practices, she has opened the door to demonic influence. The exorcist can bless her, repeatedly if necessary, which can remove any curses on her - particularly those given by the “healers” she visits, so that they may extract more money from her to get the curse removed (a vicious, expensive, and dangerous cycle).

I’d strongly suggest reading (or, perhaps, buying her) both of Fr Amorth’s books on exorcism, they deal with these sorts of “healings” at length.

Yeah that’s what I was thinking. She should also go to confession ASAP, Fr. Amorth says they are like exorcisms.

 

[nobeerinheaven]

Yeah that’s what I was thinking. She should also go to confession ASAP, Fr. Amorth says they are like exorcisms.

In fact, I think I remember him saying something to the effect that they are more powerful than exorcisms.

That said, your mother is around some very spiritually dangerous people if they are requesting consecrated hosts for their rituals. Contact an exorcist right away.

 

[Neophyte_Rose]

It’s her life, not yours. Let up on the woman. … If you think it is foolish remember that you must honor your parents, not criticize.

To honor our parents does not mean to sit idly by while they engage in mortal sins.

We both honor and love our parents when we seek the true good of them - for their own sake - and the true good is their eternal salvation and final end in unity with God.

Lexee, I would be highly concerned with a number of things you have mentioned here.

That she takes your photos to these “healers” is not safe for you… I would attempt to insist that she at least stop in that practice, and if she refuses you might want to consider speaking with a priest yourself, to find out how you might be able to find protection for yourself. Pray the St. Michael prayer often, and make a special request to your guardien angel for spiritual protection.

That these “healers” have a requested a consecrated Host, which is the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Lord Himself, is extremely frightening. I would ask your mother if anyone with her best interests at heart would really ask her to commit such an obviously mortal sin as sacrilige, and ask her what she thinks they might want with the Body of Christ in their hands…

Perhaps you may want to explore the Eucharistic miracles with her… maybe she would consider a pilgrimage to Lanciano to deepen her faith in Christ, or a pilgrimage to Lourdes if it’s physical healing she seeks.

But most importantly, you need to look out for your own spiritual welfare. Assisting her, even if out of guilt (false guilt, I might add), is itself complicity in sin - and possibly a sin in itself. If she tries to guilt-trip you, just remember that while you are ‘your [mother’s] good servant, you are God’s servant first.’ (think St? Thomas Moore, who was martyred for the faith in Britian and whose last words were “The Kings good servant I remain, but God’s servant first” or something like that) I would speak to your parish priest to get his support and encouragment to help put your conscience at rest.

You may never hear the end of it for refusing her, but keep in mind that those who do God’s will never do hear the end of it from those who seek their own will first.

Maybe it’s time someone stood up to your mother, it might wake her up a little bit. Pray to our Lady, to St. Michael, St. Monica - spend time in Eucharistic Adoration - and remember that it’s not called spiritual warfare to imply an easy path.

And for you, the temptation to be complicit in your mother’s sin could honestly be spiritual warfare.

Remind your mother that power has to come from somewhere - and that spiritual power has only two sources, God and Satan. Ask her if she honestly thinks that God’s power is flowing through a person who would sin against the Eucharist to gain his power.

Obviously it’s not God’s power which is gained through sacrilige and sin - which means that it must have its source in the only other source of spiritual power, explicitly the devil.

I am praying for you.

Pax Christi,
Esther Rose