While I understand and thank the people being supportive I must say ive not sat on my hands and expected someone to pay my way and lead me a happy life without responsibility. I was in a domestic violence situation for twelve years before meeting my current partner and had my children to someone who refuses to work now therefore isn’t legally obliged to pay child support. I knew my current partner for quite a long time before we became a couple and ive only been researching Catholicism for six months so to expect me to be wed to someone so soon is ridiculous. Aside from that ive completed many courses and obtained numerous certificates to make me more employable as well as applied for well over 600 jobs in a little over 8 months so im not sitting back expecting the world to solve my problems as I smile sweetly and have a cry at the hard times. I may be wrong but I feel like im being judged or criticised here by a few people in the way ive been told that perhaps I shouldnt be playing house. I may have read into comments such as that too far but I dont feel like im being accepted as someone trying to grasp and learn the catholic faith. I cant rewind my life and decide as a homeless 13 year old kid that Im taking on Catholicism, I cant take back my youth, the abuse, torturous conditions I lived through, the manipulative cruel years at the hands of a man who ostracized me from my friends, family and world and say HEY I take it all back, can I be perfect instead?! Im doing the best I can with what I have and if you knew how bad the rental housing market is in Adelaide you’d never say “find somewhere else to go”. It isnt that simple. REGARDLESS I drove 1300 kilometres last week just to speak to him in person. I found out why he said those things, we resolved things. SO id kindly thank you all for you’re (name removed by moderator)ut but please no more comments. Thankyou.
It was never my intent to make you think you were being judged. And my comments about marriage were not about Catholicism at all. They were about **legal and financial protections available to a married woman and not available to a woman in a live in situation. ** Please reread the bolded.
Not living with and financially depending on a man who is not your husband and bound to you by law including legal financial obligations is nothing to do with religion and is something women especially need to understand regardless of their spiritual beliefs.
I know you asked for no more comments, but I really do care and hope to be of some help to you. I tend to be blunt and ask some difficult questions. Please believe, though, that my heart is in the right place and I am not trying to hurt your feelings or judge you or be critical.
Now, with that in mind, please at least think about what I am going to say next.
You didn’t think the time you knew your SO before moving in together and the 6 months you lived with him as being enough time to decide if you wanted to marry him. Fair enough, especially as you might be a bit hesitant to tie yourself to a man after your abusive relationship. But you think that time is enough to move in with this man and put yourself and your kids completely at his mercy financially without any legal or social commitment, which is what marriage is outside of religious meaning?
And, now that you two have reconciled, has it crossed your mind to wonder and worry for the future? What guarantee do you have he won’t do this again and stick to it next time?
If this man decides next week or next month or next year that he wants out, and you’re still not married, you may very well find yourself and your children without a home. If you were married he may be less likely to end the relationship on a whim and if he did decide to leave you he would have legal obligations to you financially for a set period of time afterward to give you time to get on your feet.
