At the end of my rope

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Anglewannabe

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Warning: please do not reply if you are going to suggest councelling

As I have shared before, I have not had meaningful work in over a year and I just don’t know what to do. I have gotten my resume updated by a professional, I apply to jobs and I network. And actually, I am so fed up with the hypocrisy of the whole process.

One month ago I was at a networking event and this one lady brought her daughter. The daughter asked me how to go about networking. I gave her the most honest answer I could given my experience. In the back of my mind all I could think was ‘Can I stand before God proudly for my answer?’. Well, it turns out, there is a position open in the organization where the mother works. So a few days ago when I saw the mother I asked if she knew anything about it. She said it was in her department. When I asked her what I could do to up my chances, she said ‘called HR’. Well, it felt like the polite ‘I don’t want to help you’. I felt the brush off. She never said, ‘Well they are looking for this and you should highlight that skill’ nor did she say ‘I could mention your name’. It was obvious she did NOT want to help. Well I can understand her not wanting to help, but I can not understand her expecting me to help her daughter and not return the favour. It really rubbed me the wrong way.

Every time I send a resume out, if I honestly feel I have a good chance and I don’t hear back, I am crushed. I can not take the pain anymore and it is hard to keep applying when all I get is rejection.

And I am sick and tired of people telling me to keep my hopes up. It is so easy for others to sit back and say that. I am a human being and it really hurts and it is only normal I would become discouraged.

I really don’t know what God is trying to do. I want to trust Him and I want to do His will, but I honestly do NOT know where he is leading me. I am really having trouble believing He loves me right now

Angie
 
Right there with you. Its been two and a half years for me. I do still believe God loves us, as I have nothing else to believe in anymore. But its hard to trust somedays. I’m afraid I will wiind up homeless.

I will add you to my prayers. Sorry I can’t offer more than comisseration. It does sound like you are doing everything possible to find something. Its got to pay off.eventually.

May the Blessed Mother comfort your feelings of rejection. I do find my rosary very helpful. Perhaps it would help you.
 
Very sorry to hear about your troubles.

And yes, the business world is full of hypocrites and self interested people. Just stick to your strong Christian morals and trust that God will provide, as He promises. Sometimes, His timing is a little different to ours, which can be hard and tests our faith.

Have you tried working with recruitment agencies? Could be an option.

As much as you don’t wanto hear it, please do keep your hopes up. When the job market is competitive, those who project a positive attitude are at an immediate advantage, so it is important to work on this. I know it’s hard, but you must focus on the positives in your life and keep an optimistic outlook.
 
Hey, Angie!

I know how you feel. I’m a novelist (pen name withheld), and before I got my first publishing contract, I was rejected over thirty times by different publishers. Just keep going! Keep your chin up.

And, most importantly?

Ask St. Joseph for a job. And then take what he gives you. He’s not sentimental, but he’s so practical and effective. He’ll get you what you need to make a living.

Trust me on this. He will not fail you.

Every time you send a resume out, say, “Hail, dear spouse of Mary mild, tender guardian of her Child, Joseph, best of teachers, hail.”

And here’s the novena:

Saint Joseph, I, your unworthy child, greet you. You are the faithful protector and intercessor of all who love and venerate you. You know that I have special confidence in you and that, after Jesus and Mary, I place all my hope of salvation in you, for you are especially powerful with God and will never abandon your faithful servants. Therefore I humbly invoke you and commend myself, with all who are dear to me and all that belong to me, to your intercession. I beg of you, by your love for Jesus and Mary, not to abandon me during life and to assist me at the hour of my death.

Glorious Saint Joseph, spouse of the Immaculate Virgin, obtain for me a pure, humble, charitable mind, and perfect resignation to the divine Will. Be my guide, my father, and my model through life that I may merit to die as you did in the arms of Jesus and Mary.

Loving Saint Joseph, faithful follower of Jesus Christ, I raise my heart to you to implore your powerful intercession in obtaining from the Divine Heart of Jesus all the graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare, particularly the grace of a happy death, and the special grace I now implore:

(Mention your request).

Guardian of the Word Incarnate, I feel confident that your prayers in my behalf will be graciously heard before the throne of God. Amen.
 
I am going to suggest something rather radical.

Maybe it’s time to move to a new locale with more plentiful prospects. I am not sure where you live, but if it’s someplace like Detroit or Cleveland, where the recession has hit hard… it may be time to look at a more prosperous area.

I know moving costs money, which may be in short supply, but there are people out there who may be able to help you (family, friends).

Maybe a change of scenery will be good for your emotional well-being, too.

There ARE places out there where the economy is BOOMING.

I will pray for you.
 
rfournier103 said:
I am going to suggest something rather radical.

Maybe it’s time to move to a new locale with more plentiful prospects. I am not sure where you live, but if it’s someplace like Detroit or Cleveland, where the recession has hit hard… it may be time to look at a more prosperous area.

I know moving costs money, which may be in short supply, but there are people out there who may be able to help you (family, friends).

Maybe a change of scenery will be good for your emotional well-being, too.

There ARE places out there where the economy is BOOMING.

I will pray for you.
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And where are those places that the economy is booming? Several of my family members have been out of work for a long while now. One for nearly 4 years, he has found some day labor work but not enough to support his family. I would love to pass this on to him, give him some sort of direction. I know that he would not be opposed to relocating, and I’m pretty sure some others wouldn’t either. It is so easy to lose hope after struggling for so long. My prayers are with you OP. Know that you are in a rather large group that seems to keep growing. Try to hang in there.
 
I don’t know if I can be of any help here but I will share something that happened to me several years ago.

My wife, suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease, as acting out…and this was getting worse and worse over months. As you can imaging this was getting harder and harder to deal with until finally…and this is making the story veerrry short…we ended up calling 911 and checking her into a geriatric psych unit.
When I came home from visiting her the next day and getting things settled…I was just completely washed out. As you say in your title, I was at the end of my rope.
I wound up sitting in my recliner curled up in a ball (which is a trick since I’m 6 feet tall) and just crying my eyes out. The prayer that came out - without me even really thinking it - was; “Dear Lord, Don’t let go of me.
I can’t hold on any more,so I has to be you.
Just don’t let go of me.”

I then had the most inexplicable feeling that, as I was sitting curled up in the chair, that I was sitting on God’s lap…That I was like a small child, sitting on my father’s lap and being held by Him.
It then came to me that - I had never been alone - and that he would NOT ever let go of me…no matter what. Even if I can’t hold on…He can.

I can’t say my life has gotten easier in many ways, but I do seem to be able to deal with it better…because I know that I can still crawl onto my Father’s lap and he won’t let go of me.

I hope this helps in some small way.

Peace
James
 
7armyrugrats said:
And where are those places that the economy is booming? Several of my family members have been out of work for a long while now. One for nearly 4 years, he has found some day labor work but not enough to support his family. I would love to pass this on to him, give him some sort of direction. I know that he would not be opposed to relocating, and I’m pretty sure some others wouldn’t either. It is so easy to lose hope after struggling for so long. My prayers are with you OP. Know that you are in a rather large group that seems to keep growing. Try to hang in there.
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I have heard others say that there is a lot of work in the Dakota’s - in the oil industry up there.

Peace
James
 
JRKH said:
I don’t know if I can be of any help here but I will share something that happened to me several years ago.

My wife, suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease, as acting out…and this was getting worse and worse over months. As you can imaging this was getting harder and harder to deal with until finally…and this is making the story veerrry short…we ended up calling 911 and checking her into a geriatric psych unit.
When I came home from visiting her the next day and getting things settled…I was just completely washed out. As you say in your title, I was at the end of my rope.
I wound up sitting in my recliner curled up in a ball (which is a trick since I’m 6 feet tall) and just crying my eyes out. The prayer that came out - without me even really thinking it - was; “Dear Lord, Don’t let go of me.
I can’t hold on any more,so I has to be you.
Just don’t let go of me.”

I then had the most inexplicable feeling that, as I was sitting curled up in the chair, that I was sitting on God’s lap…That I was like a small child, sitting on my father’s lap and being held by Him.
It then came to me that - I had never been alone - and that he would NOT ever let go of me…no matter what. Even if I can’t hold on…He can.

I can’t say my life has gotten easier in many ways, but I do seem to be able to deal with it better…because I know that I can still crawl onto my Father’s lap and he won’t let go of me.

I hope this helps in some small way.

Peace
James
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^^^^^What he said^^^^^^^
 
Anglewannabe said:
Warning: please do not reply if you are going to suggest councelling

As I have shared before, I have not had meaningful work in over a year and I just don’t know what to do. I have gotten my resume updated by a professional, I apply to jobs and I network. And actually, I am so fed up with the hypocrisy of the whole process.

One month ago I was at a networking event and this one lady brought her daughter. The daughter asked me how to go about networking. I gave her the most honest answer I could given my experience. In the back of my mind all I could think was ‘Can I stand before God proudly for my answer?’. Well, it turns out, there is a position open in the organization where the mother works. So a few days ago when I saw the mother I asked if she knew anything about it. She said it was in her department. When I asked her what I could do to up my chances, she said ‘called HR’. Well, it felt like the polite ‘I don’t want to help you’. I felt the brush off. She never said, ‘Well they are looking for this and you should highlight that skill’ nor did she say ‘I could mention your name’. It was obvious she did NOT want to help. Well I can understand her not wanting to help, but I can not understand her expecting me to help her daughter and not return the favour. It really rubbed me the wrong way.

Every time I send a resume out, if I honestly feel I have a good chance and I don’t hear back, I am crushed. I can not take the pain anymore and it is hard to keep applying when all I get is rejection.

And I am sick and tired of people telling me to keep my hopes up. It is so easy for others to sit back and say that. I am a human being and it really hurts and it is only normal I would become discouraged.

I really don’t know what God is trying to do. I want to trust Him and I want to do His will, but I honestly do NOT know where he is leading me. I am really having trouble believing He loves me right now

Angie
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Sometimes “meaningful work” can be a long time coming for many people, but we all must keep on with the “unmeaningful work” in the meantime. As someone above mentioned, God’s time frames are much different than ours - in everything in life. And there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of with lower-paying morally acceptable work that helps pay the bills until more desired work comes along. In fact, it can help build character big time - and forge very important connections for the future dream job (when you don’t even realize it’s happening)!
A Temp Agency is also a very good place to apply to. It can get your foot in the door of a company or organization which then sees first-hand what an excellent “catch” you are. Many have been hired permanently through that route! But you must be dilligent, hard-working, always on time (or even better, early!!), and show them you are worth their investment.
Just some thoughts. A prayer is heading out for your success! May Our Blessed Mother help intercede for you also. You’ll get there!
 
Shut down your computer, get off the couch and go do something that will make you money.

Make and sell cupcakes / cookies to local coffee shops
Driveway coating
Offer to clean new homes before delivery to buyers
Drive a cab
Grass cutting
Go do commission only sales for an accountant selling to other small businesses
Sell for a Catholic Supply shop
Hire yourself out as a laborer to a plumber or electrician - earn and learn.
Start a window cleaning business or cleaning business

None of these would take more than $25 of flyers to start.

We don’t think our way into right action, we act ourselves into right thinking, I have a friend who manages a company who says “people who work work”. People who really want a job will go find something. Sitting around thinking how poor off you are just grows like cancer.

Here’s the second thing to look at. Are you the type of person someone wants to hire? I used to make many connections like you do and wound up not getting jobs due to personality quirks. Once I was willing to look at myself and change me, my world changed.

Lastly, look at this video. called “the day that turned your life around”.
 
JRKH, that was inspiring! Angelwannabe, I have more empathy for your situation than I could possibly explain and I want you to know that you are in a boat with millions of people trying to paddle upstream. The economy has created this situation and our chances of this really getting any better quickly are quite remote. May I suggest that you consider seriously branching out to other locations, if possible. You will find that some areas of the country and some industries are having trouble filling positions. Keep busy with volunteer work if you can afford to as this may let you meet someone who will help. I have written many resumes over the years and I find that the actual cover letter is, in some cases, is more important than the resume, provided you are qualified for the job. Work on your positive feelings and attributes and try not to give up. We will pray for you, many of us really do care and if there was anyway that I could help you I would. I am just one of many who feel this way so let that love fill your spirit.

Memorare

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.
 
hi there! am thousands miles from you and my life is totally different from yours, but please consider my observation ;1)you don’t necesarily need a job but a livelihood -something to support you and family and neighbors. 2)prayerfully ask God his plan for your life and you might be surprised you were asking for something you dont need.when you know your purpose in life you won’t be chasing any job in any state but a particular undertaking right where you are. 3)when I was jobless for two years I may have felt worse than you.here in Kenya when you are jobless basics like food and shelter immediately becomes an issue.children dying in your arms because of lack of money for medicine. many kill their family and commit suicide .I myself am supposed to dead.so my friend you are nowhere near end of rope. 4)there are many people around you who are ready to pay you for expertise you don’t realize you have. I will rather you pray for direction than a job.MAYBE GOD WANTS YOU TO AN EMPLOYER. if you know his will money because a non issue. that’s why he’s God.
 
This might not be what you really want to hear, but here goes.

Sometimes, it isn’t about the job. It is about us trusting God completely.

For you, it is for finding a job, for another, it’s their marriage, their place in the world, an illness or a difficult child or family member. Most people have some form of strife at some point in their lives. No matter what we do, we can’t change it. The only thing left is for us to give it all to God to fix or change or arrange or do whatever he feels is best, in HIS time, not ours.

It takes us a long time to admit that we don’t always do this. I am not saying it is easy, but it is what we need to do when we have done all that we can do. Pray, and trust in God for all your needs. And until something comes, use your time to do something good. Be a blessing to someone every day, even when you don’t feel like it.

May God bless you and guide you. 🙂
 
JRKH said:
I have heard others say that there is a lot of work in the Dakota’s - in the oil industry up there.

Peace
James
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Yes, this is true, but there is also a “Wild West” atmosphere up there, with lots of men, lots of money, and lots of vices. I would not recommend a single woman to go up there. It is very hard to find housing as well.

Texas is in a relatively healthy position since our Governor is pro-business and our legislature has passed some pro-business laws over the last decade. It’s not perfect but it may be the best place to find work at the moment. We had tort reform passed a few years ago so many doctors come here for relief from malpractice insurance and frivolous lawsuits.

OP, it’s a tough time in the economy. It’s not you, it’s what’s happening in the world. Just keep at it, something will turn up. You are in my prayers.
 
I sent out close to two-hundred resumes before I got a job… I also put in across about six states. As others have said, Texas is doing quite well now, maybe you should hunt around here.

Others have addressed the religious side of it, so I’ll address the secular side of it.

What’s your resume like? Do you have any extra certifications in your field? How do you dress when you attend these interviews? How do you present yourself? Are you groomed well? How is your speech pattern? Do you make and maintain eye contract? Do you have a firm handshake?

All of these things play a -huge- role in your chances of getting a job. My personal advice to you:

Have someone look at your resume. If you’re in a field that benefits from it (any sort of design . programming field), how do your portfolio look? Have you put together a portfolio, or examples of your work in the past?

Get any certifications you can. As an architectural intern, my main program is called Revit. I sought out a certification put out by the company that made the software, it cost a bit upfront, but it has long since paid for itself. None of the firms I interviewed with (there were four of them) had heard of the certification, and all were highly impressed by the initiative and knowledge it presented. This was probably one of the biggest factors in my finally finding work. If your field has -any- certifications, I’d try to get them. It costs a bit upfront, but if it gets you a job it’s more than worth it.

I wish you blessings in your hunt for work.
 
underacloud said:
Have you tried working with recruitment agencies? Could be an option.

.
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Yes I have tried them. They call you up, act like they have your dream job and then never get back to you. I bite my tongue because I never know when they will find me something.

However, and I know you suggested that with good intentions. But this is the most frustrating part for me. If I had a dollar bill for every time someone suggested something like you did, I would be set for life and not need a job. It just frustrates me to no end that very few people realize I really did try everything and it almost feels like an insinuation I was not smart enough to think of that on my own. I am not trying to make you feel bad. I am simply trying to express how I feel
 
rfournier103 said:
Maybe it’s time to move to a new locale with more plentiful prospects. I am not sure where you live, but if it’s someplace like Detroit or Cleveland, where the recession has hit hard… it may be time to look at a more prosperous area.

.
Click to expand...
I am Canadian so I doubt they would give me a job in the USA when there are plenty of citizen who need it.

As for moving, I go on the internet every day to search for jobs and I can honestly say in my field, I probably live in the best place. Other towns do not have as many postings
 
ChurchSoldier said:
Shut down your computer, get off the couch and go do something that will make you money.

.
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That was very judgemental. As the title says, I am at the end of my rope because I am working hard to find a job. How could you assume I am not trying. That was not nice of you
 
Irishmom2 said:
This might not be what you really want to hear, but here goes.

Sometimes, it isn’t about the job. It is about us trusting God completely.
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Actually it is exactly what I want to hear. If I knew in my hear I was 100% doing God’s will, half my frustration would be gone
 
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