At what age should opposite sex siblings stop

[gaby_101]

At what age should opposite sex siblings stop…

1. bathing together
2. sleeping on the same bed
3. sleeping on the same room
4. changing clothes together
5. play wrestling
6. tickling in public

in addition, hugging and kissing. i think there may not be inappropriate age for hugging and kissing for any kinds of siblings, but what kind of hug and kiss they can and can’t do when they are adults?

What do you think?

thanks,
gaby

 

[_Jenn]

I only have a sister, & my son is an only child, so take the following for he random 2 cents it is. lol

I would say there is no set age; rather, it should stop as soon as one of the siblings voices their discomfort, be it the younger or the older. And by discomfort, I don mean random whining because they just don’t want the other around. I think the age difference could also be a factor as well. Siblings very close in age, it may happen sooner. If there is a fairly big age gap, it may not be an issue for a while.

 

[theyoungmonk]

1 & 2 certanly not past when one hits the age of reason.
3&4 latest 10-11, ideally much earlier, as when possible the diffrent sexes should have seperate spaces to aid their gender develpment and this gets more important the closer they get to puberty.
5&6 well just let them sort that out themselves, it stops when it stops.

It is very much down to the individual situation though. I am also sure there are many parents on here who would be able to give better advice than me though.

 

[Kamaduck]

At what age should opposite sex siblings stop…

1. bathing together
2. sleeping on the same bed
3. sleeping on the same room
4. changing clothes together
5. play wrestling
6. tickling in public

in addition, hugging and kissing. i think there may not be inappropriate age for hugging and kissing for any kinds of siblings, but what kind of hug and kiss they can and can’t do when they are adults?

What do you think?

thanks,
gaby

I have a brother. Some of this stuff we never did, and some of it we did for quite some time. We shared a room until I was in first grade or so (and I moved out mostly because he was keeping me up at night by throwing stuffed animals at me ). We probably kept play-wrestling until I was in third grade or so.

Bottom line, it’s inappropriate when one child is uncomfortable or you run into problems. However, in general I don’t think any of this should be going on after puberty.

 

[sparrowhawk28]

My brother still play wrestles and sometimes tickles me and my sisters, and he’s 18. He doesn’t do it in public though. It’s more to be annoying than anything else.

 

[SciFiWriter]

I think that is up for the siblings to decide and not anyone else but them.

 

[JackieMom]

Tickling in public? Is that different than tickling in private? I don’t like tickling at all, so this would never be okay in our family.

The rest of the things can stop when one or both siblings doesn’t want to do them anymore. My kids started wanting privacy regaring nudity around 8 or 9. The hugging and kissing, I think, is healthy and normal long-term. My parents still hug and kiss their siblings, and they’re in their 60s.

 

[John_Lazarus]

in addition, hugging and kissing. i think there may not be inappropriate age for hugging and kissing for any kinds of siblings, but what kind of hug and kiss they can and can’t do when they are adults?

What do you think?

thanks,
gaby

Depends on your culture, I think. In some families, there is no problem with a kiss on the lips between family members, and they can and do distinguish between what would be a chaste and an erotic kiss (I shan’t go into details). Others, such as mine, I’ll kiss my Mom, everyone else gets one of my trademarked Johnny Hugs™, which, on the proper occasion, is extended to close friends. Some families, I have noticed, make do with handshakes*, especially between male members of the family.

I don’t have sibs, so I can’t give any personal experience there.

I don’t think there is a hard and fast rule (e.g. kiss cannot last longer than 0.75 seconds, you must have your eyes open, etc ). If we assume kissing your sib might be OK, then we can assume that air-kissing next to the cheek is always and the From Here To Eternity beach scene is always .

As for all the other stuff – I’d say once puberty kicks in, or if any of the kids becomes modest, or if any get to the point of being like Radar O’Reilly, who once said “Nudidity makes me breathe funny.”

*Or punches on the arm.

 

[Aggies08]

I’ve known opposite sex siblings to share a room indefinitely- usually a curtain is hung/divider placed/etc to give privacy for sleeping and changing.

The kids at school seem to become aware of modesty around 4-5, so I’d say bathing/changing in front of one another would probably stop around then as well. I’m assuming both are capable of doing it themselves- a 1 yr old and a 5 yr old are a bit different! Mine are all two years apart, and that’s what we’ve experienced.

 

[DefenderPro]

I’d have thought this just goes away with age, it’s not something anyone needs to impose. They’ll eventually become self-conscious enough that they’ll stop it on their own.

But to really answer the question posed, I’d say around age 25.

 

[Lasting_faith]

When the time is right. And how do you know when? Common sense, and when the first questions start pouring in.

Children do grow up in very personal ways, and age. Some may play with cars when he is fifteen, and it is absolutely normal. (Some never stop, and they are fathers who “collect” miniature cars, or trains, meaning they play with them when nobody see it.) It is really nothing to worry about. Why do we play with our kids? Because we like it as much as they and it give us a chance to do what we did like as kids.

There are no need to search for something that is wrong “just because”. Let them be kids and enjoy them self. (Whitin decent limits.) I did share my bed with my sister, well, she is not my real sister, but she came from a broken home and did live with us, and she will always be my sister, when I was sixteen. And nothing bad ever happened and I don’t see her nor me as “damage goods”. We use to fool around and just having fun, not in the bed and not how you may think, and there is nothing wrong with that neither. So: common sense.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

At what age should opposite sex siblings stop…

1. bathing together
2. sleeping on the same bed
3. sleeping on the same room
4. changing clothes together
5. play wrestling
6. tickling in public

in addition, hugging and kissing. i think there may not be inappropriate age for hugging and kissing for any kinds of siblings, but what kind of hug and kiss they can and can’t do when they are adults?

What do you think?

thanks,
gaby

I think I was around the school age when my brother and I stopped bathing together. My brother and I have always been close and I think we were in late elementary school when we stopped coming into each others rooms if we had a bad dream or couldn’t sleep. We would end up falling asleep in the same bed. I think we always had our own rooms, though. My brother and I still play wrestle and tickle/poke/head slap/etc. and we are in our 20s. I still hug and kiss my brother on the cheek. We live far from one another now and when I do get to see him I run and give him a huge hug, like he spins me around and plants a big fat kiss on my cheek. After he puts me down we usually hit or poke or just aggravate one another. lol.

 

[mommamaree]

At what age should opposite sex siblings stop…

1. bathing together
2. sleeping on the same bed
3. sleeping on the same room
4. changing clothes together
5. play wrestling
6. tickling in public

in addition, hugging and kissing. i think there may not be inappropriate age for hugging and kissing for any kinds of siblings, but what kind of hug and kiss they can and can’t do when they are adults?

What do you think?

thanks,
gaby

1. Not past 5, in my opinion. Now, my oldest children are 8 (girl) and 5 (boy) and I still have to remind them to allow each other privacy during bathing times, because they love to tell each other jokes and be silly in the bathroom during bathtime.
2. My children all slept in the same bed a few weeks back when they were ill. And in the past, they have shared a bed during travel or for similar reasons. I see no harm in that until my son enters puberty.
3. I do not think there is an upper age limit for sleeping in the same room, unless one of the children feels uncomfortable with the arrangement.
4. When one of them enters puberty, changing in front of each other should stop.
   5 & 6) Whenever one of them feels uncomfortable about it

Regarding hugging and kissing: they will probably go through a period of time where that feels uncomfortable to them because their bodies are changing so rapidly and hugging reveals those changes to each other. But morally speaking, hugging and kissing has no upper age limit. And those are highly dependent upon cultural/family traditions and expectations.

 

[mommamaree]

I think I was around the school age when my brother and I stopped bathing together. My brother and I have always been close and I think we were in late elementary school when we stopped coming into each others rooms if we had a bad dream or couldn’t sleep. We would end up falling asleep in the same bed. I think we always had our own rooms, though. My brother and I still play wrestle and tickle/poke/head slap/etc. and we are in our 20s. I still hug and kiss my brother on the cheek. We live far from one another now and when I do get to see him I run and give him a huge hug, like he spins me around and plants a big fat kiss on my cheek. After he puts me down we usually hit or poke or just aggravate one another. lol.

Awww! That is so sweet!

 

[Ophelia23]

I don’t think there is any set age for any of these things. Each family is different, and everybody’s children are different as well. One poster in these responses even doesn’t allow tickling whatsoever in their family eek which is unimaginable to me! But, that’s to me and my family; not hers. My point is simply that all families are different in these matters.

I personally don’t believe that we need to teach our children to be uncomfortable around one another. It is going to happen quite naturally. My parents never gave my brothers and I a talk about needing to stop bathing together, it just sort of stopped. Most likely, my brother wanted his privacy and didn’t want his little sister around to pester him. Now that I think about it, we always had separate rooms but I would frequently go to my oldest brother’s bedroom for advice, consolation, or just to hang out. I would fall asleep by him on his bed relatively often until he moved out of the house when he was 18. I never thought of it as inappropriate in any way… He’s my big brother. Heck, my oldest brother STILL tackles me to the ground when we get to see one another, and he’s 36. Granted we can only see each other every few years, which might merit such a joyful reaction to being brought back together.

 

[JackieMom]

I don’t think there is any set age for any of these things. Each family is different, and everybody’s children are different as well. One poster in these responses even doesn’t allow tickling whatsoever in their family eek which is unimaginable to me! But, that’s to me and my family; not hers. My point is simply that all families are different in these matters.

I personally don’t believe that we need to teach our children to be uncomfortable around one another. It is going to happen quite naturally. My parents never gave my brothers and I a talk about needing to stop bathing together, it just sort of stopped. Most likely, my brother wanted his privacy and didn’t want his little sister around to pester him. Now that I think about it, we always had separate rooms but I would frequently go to my oldest brother’s bedroom for advice, consolation, or just to hang out. I would fall asleep by him on his bed relatively often until he moved out of the house when he was 18. I never thought of it as inappropriate in any way… He’s my big brother. Heck, my oldest brother STILL tackles me to the ground when we get to see one another, and he’s 36. Granted we can only see each other every few years, which might merit such a joyful reaction to being brought back together.

I don’t like tickling because it’s unpleasant and kids torture each other with it, not because of any sexual/modesty issue

 

[mommamaree]

I don’t like tickling because it’s unpleasant and kids torture each other with it, not because of any sexual/modesty issue

that can happen. Kids can use it for sibling torture. my kids are in the stage of asking for tickles, or offering tickles, mostly to the littlest ones. My third child, the 2yo girl, asks for “tuggles” and sticks out her little belly really far and waddles over, giggling even before the tickling begins. But I have had to reign in the tickling at times, when someone gets carried away.

 

[Ophelia23]

I don’t like tickling because it’s unpleasant and kids torture each other with it, not because of any sexual/modesty issue

Ugh! That can DEFINITELY happen!!! I used to hate it when my middle brother would tickle because he would do it until it hurt! And I couldn’t help but laugh because it’s a natural response, but my ribs would be KILLING me! We have a strict “stop if asked” policy in my family as a result!

 

[Ophelia23]

that can happen. Kids can use it for sibling torture. my kids are in the stage of asking for tickles, or offering tickles, mostly to the littlest ones. My third child, the 2yo girl, asks for “tuggles” and sticks out her little belly really far and waddles over, giggling even before the tickling begins. But I have had to reign in the tickling at times, when someone gets carried away.

Hehe… this makes me giggle just to picture it.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

I don’t like tickling because it’s unpleasant and kids torture each other with it, not because of any sexual/modesty issue

yes! I was tortured with tickling. My brother held me down and tickled me until I puked one time. Actually, I ended up puking on him because he was sitting on me. He didn’t torture me after that.