At what point do you decide to just give up on a parish?

[JKirkLVNV]

“Well, that may be what the Church teaches, but it’s just not my personal opinion - that’s between me and Jesus Christ.”

.

That’s a dangerous position for them to advocate, on dogmatic matters (even on matters of discipline, we’re to be obedient). There is no “me and Jesus,” we’re supposed to think with the mind of the Church.

 

[netmilsmom]

I attend a parish that has some of the issues as the op…I wish things were different …I could go somewhere else but my parish is my home church and where my children were confirmed etc. Maybe we should stay to try and be an example …priests change…and their deliberate ‘mistakes’ should be brought before the Bishop…

I do grow tired of it though…

No.
as long as you continue to give your donation to the innovative parishes, you tell the Diocese, this is fine.

Find a good orthodox parish and take your money with you.
Start telling them, the “Catholic-lite” parish is not acceptable. Period.

 

[Mordocai]

See my problem in situations like this is simple:
I am torn between A.) Wanting to leave because it’s not Catholic stuff going on and B.) Wanting to stay in order to be an ‘example.’
Though in practice, I feel that only when Catholics can be in the same place can they actually edify eachother RATHER THAN a few good Catholics being in a nominal/lukewarm parish and are possibly getting choked down under the guise of (what i had mentioned earlier) wishing to “save some”

It’s always an issue with me.
GOD WILLING THOUGH, I’ll be admitted to Franciscan University for next fall and will have good things to look forward to

But I guess what I’m asking (and attempting to stay on topic) is: Is it charitable to “leave the rest behind”?

 

[netmilsmom]

Well, in humility, pray for them and by all means, forgive them if they offend you.

In times of crises, we need to be better Catholics by living it, not getting into debates on what other’s are doing wrong etc.

Also when you encounter another person lacks understanding on a teaching or doctrine of the church, be compassionate toward them. See this is their poverty. We are to love the poor, and that doesn’t mean only the material poor.

God Bless
Jim

Did you see that she is in RCIA?
This is not the lady in the vestibule or Pete in the Pew, it’s RCIA for heaven’s sake. They are teaching this to new Catholics!

That is not a matter of compassion for the poor in CCC, it’s a matter of the shepherd leading the sheep off a cliff!

 

[netmilsmom]

But I guess what I’m asking (and attempting to stay on topic) is: Is it charitable to “leave the rest behind”?

Yes! But a responsibility goes with it. Pray, pray, pray.

I left a parish that was “Innovation Central” and taken over by Charismatics. I had to leave, my older daughter was making 1st Communion and I had to unteach what they taught in CCD.

A friend of mine stayed behind because the Priest asked her to work on Vocations. Everything she did, she bucked the women there. After a year and getting to the point that even the priest wouldn’t talk to her, she came home to my VERY orthodox parish. She didn’t want to leave them behind but did and we who left there just prayed, prayed, prayed.

Well, lo and behold, the people in power may not have liked what she was doing but the people in the pews sure did.
The Rosary before mass that she started was left without a leader. Suddenly, other people took over.
The Adoration on Fridays that she started is a packed house.
AND, Lord be Praised, there is now a Crucifix on the formerly blank wall behind the Altar.

Leave, go and pray for those you left behind.
Your leaving may make the difference!!!

 

[palmas85]

See my problem in situations like this is simple:
I am torn between A.) Wanting to leave because it’s not Catholic stuff going on and B.) Wanting to stay in order to be an ‘example.’
Though in practice, I feel that only when Catholics can be in the same place can they actually edify eachother RATHER THAN a few good Catholics being in a nominal/lukewarm parish and are possibly getting choked down under the guise of (what i had mentioned earlier) wishing to “save some”

It’s always an issue with me.
GOD WILLING THOUGH, I’ll be admitted to Franciscan University for next fall and will have good things to look forward to

But I guess what I’m asking (and attempting to stay on topic) is: Is it charitable to "leave the rest behind"?

You are not leaving them behind. They left already.

 

[jmcrae]

Elzee:
For those of you in this situation, what do you do? Do you stay, hoping to be able to make some kind of difference, or move to a more orthodox parish. I’m really just getting tired.

Just from a somewhat selfish point of view, I’m hoping you move to a more orthodox parish, because we could use the numbers.

We try to run a very orthodox RCIA, and what we find is that 90% of people are looking for what you’ve got - the sort of “make it up as you go along; as long as we’re nice people that means we’re good Christians” style of religion.

I love my teaching partner, because she makes me look like the “moderate” one - right now she’s getting them into the Green Scapular and teaching them to pray the Rosary. All I do, by contrast, is tell them that they can’t receive Holy Communion at Mass yet, and that they need to stop living with the boyfriend/girlfriend before they can be received into the Church. Together, we teach them the Scriptures, various forms of Catholic prayer, and answer their doctrinal questions using the CCC and the Compendium of the Catechism (which is an absolute god-send - I love it!!).

Most of them never come back after the first day with us. (I assume they’re switching to an RCIA like yours, where they can pick and choose their beliefs.)

But the few who are still coming know what’s going on, and they know they’re joining the Catholic Church; not a debating club, or the Shrine Circus, or a charitable organization for the poor.

 

[Elzee]

Just from a somewhat selfish point of view, I’m hoping you move to a more orthodox parish, because we could use the numbers.

We try to run a very orthodox RCIA, and what we find is that 90% of people are looking for what you’ve got - the sort of “make it up as you go along; as long as we’re nice people that means we’re good Christians” style of religion.

I love my teaching partner, because she makes me look like the “moderate” one - right now she’s getting them into the Green Scapular and teaching them to pray the Rosary. All I do, by contrast, is tell them that they can’t receive Holy Communion at Mass yet, and that they need to stop living with the boyfriend/girlfriend before they can be received into the Church. Together, we teach them the Scriptures, various forms of Catholic prayer, and answer their doctrinal questions using the CCC and the Compendium of the Catechism (which is an absolute god-send - I love it!!).

Most of them never come back after the first day with us. (I assume they’re switching to an RCIA like yours, where they can pick and choose their beliefs.)

But the few who are still coming know what’s going on, and they know they’re joining the Catholic Church; not a debating club, or the Shrine Circus, or a charitable organization for the poor.

Many people have left a very orthodox parish in our area for my parish. It just feeds the problem. Our staff takes pride in this - they use it as ‘proof’ that they are doing everything right because we are growing so much. It’s very sad. You wouldn’t believe how many people have told me they love our parish because they are not told what to believe or do.

 

[chotock]

A thread echoing my thoughts exactly. My parish is actually not all that bad, its really the small things that bother me the most. Our Liturgy is actually fairly good, the only thing that tends to bug me is the hand holding and the occasional non-Catholic hymn (getting rarer). Our Rector is very orthodox, but is not all that aggressive sometimes.

My biggest problem tends to be with the Parishoners, who seems to have been starved of good ol’ fashioned Catholic hellfire and brimstone type teaching. You know the meat and potatoes of the Church. Our RCIA team is our biggest bane, but I believe that nce enough of us finish the new Catechist training program, there will be a much better core built.

OP et al, if you are feeling like you are not able to grow or pursuade anyone to actually read the CCC or other docs, then you need to move on. You can do no good if all you do is stress and worry. I have changed parishes for Mass, and it has helped me in so many ways to hear good hard Catholic worship. Now I just have to get my Catechumen thrugh mystagogue then I will be able to decide which road to walk.

I will pray for you and your parishes.

 

[mary_bobo]

Many people have left a very orthodox parish in our area for my parish. It just feeds the problem. Our staff takes pride in this - they use it as ‘proof’ that they are doing everything right because we are growing so much. It’s very sad. You wouldn’t believe how many people have told me they love our parish because they are not told what to believe or do.

So sad, Elzee. And I think we have a plethora of those kinds of people on this forum.

 

[Walking_Home]

Many people have left a very orthodox parish in our area for my parish. It just feeds the problem. Our staff takes pride in this - they use it as ‘proof’ that they are doing everything right because we are growing so much. It’s very sad. You wouldn’t believe how many people have told me they love our parish because they are not told what to believe or do.

---

Just goes to show—how many people find it easier–not to be Catholic. The problem is— they are staying in the Church.

 

[valient_Lucy]

If it was just the people going through the RCIA, I would say stay.

BUT, if the priest and the teachers are the ones saying that “It’s just between them and Jesus Christ,” then I say leave. Pray earnestly, look for a parish that celebrates the Mass in a reverent fashion, and try the RCIA there.

I admit, I’m torn in this, since I do believe that people should set good examples for holy living and for following the Catholic Faith. But if the priests and teachers aren’t even attempting to teach what the Church teaches, or to believe what the Church teaches, then that’s different. There’s a difference between passing doubts or questions and open rebellion against the Church, and a refusal to submit to her teachings. I’d also be afraid that, while you could influence them for the better, they could also influence you for the worse. As another poster has said, you’re not leaving, THEY have left the Catholic Faith.

Pray earnestly for this parish though.

 

[netmilsmom]

But the few who are still coming know what’s going on, and they know they’re joining the Catholic Church; not a debating club, or the Shrine Circus, or a charitable organization for the poor.

God Bless YOU!

 

[Veritas41]

If you don’t even have the priest behind you, you should probably leave. When you do leave, write a letter to him detailing why you think you would have more to offer in another parish.

That’s excellent advice

 

[4HisChurch]

If you don’t even have the priest behind you, you should probably leave. When you do leave, write a letter to him detailing why you think you would have more to offer in another parish.

Write that letter–and cc the Bishop.