At what point does infatuation become a sin?

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fireproofpoodle

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Hi.

I am in a bit of a tricky situation. I sometimes see a particular girl who I don’t know particularly well but whom I am very attracted to. I think, as I don’t know mch about her, my attraction is physical as she is, to say the least, very beautiful. Whenever a sexual thought about her enters my head or I seem to be objectifying her I fight it and do not consent to it, so I don’t think I am lusting. I seem to be infatuated with her and can’t stop thinking about her. Is this a sin? If so, what can I do?
 
As long as you avoid the impure thoughts, infatuation with someone who is eligible to marry is not a sin. It’s the first step on the road to marriage, a holy sacrament.

Betsy
 
I agree with what the first responder has said. Infatuation is an emotional respone, or feeling, towards another person. Such feelings or emotions towards a person of the opposite sex are natural, and have their purpose. It is only in our RESPONSE to emotions or feelings that we can sin.

Such sinful responses would be;

Entertaining (encouraging) an infatuation with someone who is not available for marriage (e.g. a member of the same sex, a person already married, a person not available for marriage [committed to a celibate religious life, sibling, etc.])

Pursuing a close relationship for reasons other than exploring marriage to this person ("They aren’t a person I would want to marry, but they would be a really fun girl(boy)friend’)

Or, falling into temptation to lust (use) the object of our infatuation (it sounds like you know to avoid this).

In cases where infatuation is leading us down a path that obviously has no happy ending (i.e. marriage is not possible), we have a responsiblity to ‘move-on’, using the contemporary language. Fortunately, infatuations fade over time, if allowed to.

Dan Grelinger
 
Hello,

Infatuation is a messy thing. I have happily suffered with it many times. :confused: There is the greatest book titled “Keeping The Love You Find” by Hendrix. Check it out and you will look into the inner workings of it.

You will be surprised…

YYY
 
Don’t assume the attraction is merely physical. I’m struggling with the same issue, and the object of my fascination (euphemising here) isn’t particularly attractive. Take some time to yourself and examine what might be missing from your life. Do some discreet asking around, find out what you can about her. Perhaps you might discern a different, higher reason for your attraction.
 
fireproofpoodle said:
Hi.

I am in a bit of a tricky situation. I sometimes see a particular girl who I don’t know particularly well but whom I am very attracted to. I think, as I don’t know mch about her, my attraction is physical as she is, to say the least, very beautiful. Whenever a sexual thought about her enters my head or I seem to be objectifying her I fight it and do not consent to it, so I don’t think I am lusting. I seem to be infatuated with her and can’t stop thinking about her. Is this a sin? If so, what can I do?
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The main thing here is to keep it real, so that you never lose sight of her as a person. Sometimes the dream can replace the person, and you end up getting hurt–which is what sin does. So keep up your struggle and don’t let yourself go. Then, if this ever grows into a good relationship, you will have both feet on the ground and able to relate to her as she really is.
 
Infatuation, as all things, becomes a sin when it causes you to stray from God.
 
fireproofpoodle said:
Hi.

I am in a bit of a tricky situation. I sometimes see a particular girl who I don’t know particularly well but whom I am very attracted to. I think, as I don’t know mch about her, my attraction is physical as she is, to say the least, very beautiful. Whenever a sexual thought about her enters my head or I seem to be objectifying her I fight it and do not consent to it, so I don’t think I am lusting. I seem to be infatuated with her and can’t stop thinking about her. Is this a sin? If so, what can I do?
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Sounds to me like you should ask her out. 🤷

Yours in Christ
Joe
 
fireproofpoodle said:
Hi.

I am in a bit of a tricky situation. I sometimes see a particular girl who I don’t know particularly well but whom I am very attracted to. I think, as I don’t know mch about her, my attraction is physical as she is, to say the least, very beautiful. Whenever a sexual thought about her enters my head or I seem to be objectifying her I fight it and do not consent to it, so I don’t think I am lusting. I seem to be infatuated with her and can’t stop thinking about her. Is this a sin? If so, what can I do?
Click to expand...
I recommend reading C.S. Lewis’ " The Four Loves", especially the chapters entitled “Eros” & “Charity” respectively.

Yours in Christ,
Zachary
 
Being physically attracted to someone is not unworthy of the Christian. All that is beautiful shares in the beauty of God, in a like way.
If you recognise the beauty of a creature, just think how far more beautiful is the God who made her out of nothing. If you are so infatuated with the spark, how wonderful must be the flame.

You seem to know when to stop yourself from sinning in this regard, but pray to Saint Joseph, a faithful guardian of the young to assist you in appreciating her as a creature made in the image of God.
 
Here are some prayers that may help you:

Prayer for Purity of Heart

Lord, help me to accept and receive my sexuality as a gift from you. Grant me the grace to resist the many lies that distort this divine gift and help me to live my sexuality according to the truth of self-giving love. Grant me purity of heart so that I might see the image of your glory in the beauty of others, and one day see you face to face. Amen.

Prayer for the Redemption of Sexual Desire

Lord, I praise you and thank you for the gift of my sexual desires. By the power of your death and resurrection, untwist in me what sin has twisted so that I might know and experience sexual desire as you created it to be + as the desire to love freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully. Amen.

Prayer in a Moment of Temptation to Lust

Lord, thank you for the beauty of this person whom you made to be loved + never to be treated as a thing for my gratification. I renounce any tendency within me to use this person for my own pleasure, and I ask you to set my desires aright. Amen.

Found here: christopherwest.com/article1.asp this is a really good read.
 
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