Atheist husband

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Stubbertson

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Hi everyone,

I am fairly new to these boards, but I have an issue with my husband. When I met and married him, I had no interest whatsoever in the Catholic faith (or any faith at all really). My husband was a staunch atheist, and remains so to this day. He is generally fairly hostile to the idea of religion altogether, although he does not do anything to impede my own journey home.

I have been praying for the intercession of St. Monica and will continue to do so. I have also recently discovered Elisabeth Leseur, who is being considered for canonization (she is classified as a Servant of God right now). She was a devout Catholic who was married to a man who lost his faith and became a staunch atheist. She kept her faith in the face of his hostility to religion, and in the face of the general hostility of Parisian high society towards Christianity in that time period. She did not nag her husband or even really talk to him about her faith much at all, but she did not try to hide her faith either. After she died, her husband discovered her diary that she had been keeping through her life. He was so moved by her devotion to her faith and the way she practiced her faith that after her death, he became Catholic (and went on to become a priest; he survived his wife by about 40 years or so).

I know she is not yet a saint, but do you think it would be appropriate for me to pray for her intercession? Is there anything else I should do?

There is one more thing: my husband has a problem with anger. I have to stress that he is never violent with us, and he has never threatened violence . He is just angry. All. The. Time. He loses his temper over the tiniest things and lashes out at me often. He tends to threaten divorce when he is angry with me, which is often. He does not want to get professional help. How do I support and help him without enabling him? I try to do what I can to help him destress, but it does not seem to help.

Thank you all so much!
 
you can pray for anyone and everyone’s intercession.👍 sorry can’t help with the anger, has he always been angry?
 
Just for i did search with atheist and anger. There are some pretty interesting results. Anyway you should practice your faith by example and of course be happy. You may want to read search and rescue and surprised by truth. If he in an engineer or an academic have a lighthearted discussion with him about pascals wager. Pretty much you will not convert him, but it is your cross.
 
I agree - ask for intercessory prayer from anyone! About his anger problem, I’ll give the the same advice that Dear Abby would give: If your husband won’t go for counseling, then you should.
 
when he see’s how much you change as you are transformed by Jesus, he will begin to want some of that.
 
Of course I am not aware of your actual circumstances, but maybe you could really try to study your husband and try to somehow figure out the source of his anger. It might be helpful to help him deal with it.

For instance, I know someone who appears to be constantly irritated by practically everything. On the surface, he just seems to be one of those grumpy men who are never pleased by anything and will snap at the slightest or even no provocation. But if you really spend several weeks or months studying him, you realize that his anger and grumpiness are really the product of some serious insecurities. He had times in his life when he felt betrayed by his entire family, for instance. And now that he is getting older, he is having a very hard time letting go of his complete independence.

If you can trace the roots of your husband’s anger (it might not be easy, especially if you don’t know in detail what is going on in his workplace, etc), it may give you an idea of how to help him (like in my case, I help the person I know feel more secure and wanted and needed) and give you more compassion towards him.
 
Stubbertson said:
Hi everyone,

I am fairly new to these boards, but I have an issue with my husband. When I met and married him, I had no interest whatsoever in the Catholic faith (or any faith at all really). My husband was a staunch atheist, and remains so to this day. He is generally fairly hostile to the idea of religion altogether, although he does not do anything to impede my own journey home.

I have been praying for the intercession of St. Monica and will continue to do so. I have also recently discovered Elisabeth Leseur, who is being considered for canonization (she is classified as a Servant of God right now). She was a devout Catholic who was married to a man who lost his faith and became a staunch atheist. She kept her faith in the face of his hostility to religion, and in the face of the general hostility of Parisian high society towards Christianity in that time period. She did not nag her husband or even really talk to him about her faith much at all, but she did not try to hide her faith either. After she died, her husband discovered her diary that she had been keeping through her life. He was so moved by her devotion to her faith and the way she practiced her faith that after her death, he became Catholic (and went on to become a priest; he survived his wife by about 40 years or so).

I know she is not yet a saint, but do you think it would be appropriate for me to pray for her intercession? Is there anything else I should do?

There is one more thing: my husband has a problem with anger. I have to stress that he is never violent with us, and he has never threatened violence . He is just angry. All. The. Time. He loses his temper over the tiniest things and lashes out at me often. He tends to threaten divorce when he is angry with me, which is often. He does not want to get professional help. How do I support and help him without enabling him? I try to do what I can to help him destress, but it does not seem to help.

Thank you all so much!
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If he won’t get professional help, would you? Would you consider going to an individual counselor, (for yourself) if he won’t go to an individual, or marriage, counselor? You sound like he is not only not giving you the emotional support you need but verbally attacks you, as well.

Well, sometimes when we are in a relationship with someone with a problem, it affects us, as well. It’s a little like living with an alcoholic or someone who is depressed, in that it affects everyone around.

Also, there is this:

helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm

Now, you said he hasn’t actually gotten to the point of physical violence, just abuse. That’s included in the above link and encourage you to get some kind of support, be it through individual counseling, a support group, this hotline, something, and not try to do this alone.

These people can give you tips on how to handle a spouse with a temper, how to not enable and more.

Good luck with whatever you decide. 👍
 
Stubbertson said:
Hi everyone,

I am fairly new to these boards, but I have an issue with my husband. When I met and married him, I had no interest whatsoever in the Catholic faith (or any faith at all really). My husband was a staunch atheist, and remains so to this day. He is generally fairly hostile to the idea of religion altogether, although he does not do anything to impede my own journey home.

I have been praying for the intercession of St. Monica and will continue to do so. I have also recently discovered Elisabeth Leseur, who is being considered for canonization (she is classified as a Servant of God right now). She was a devout Catholic who was married to a man who lost his faith and became a staunch atheist. She kept her faith in the face of his hostility to religion, and in the face of the general hostility of Parisian high society towards Christianity in that time period. She did not nag her husband or even really talk to him about her faith much at all, but she did not try to hide her faith either. After she died, her husband discovered her diary that she had been keeping through her life. He was so moved by her devotion to her faith and the way she practiced her faith that after her death, he became Catholic (and went on to become a priest; he survived his wife by about 40 years or so).

I know she is not yet a saint, but do you think it would be appropriate for me to pray for her intercession? Is there anything else I should do?

There is one more thing: my husband has a problem with anger. I have to stress that he is never violent with us, and he has never threatened violence . He is just angry. All. The. Time. He loses his temper over the tiniest things and lashes out at me often. He tends to threaten divorce when he is angry with me, which is often. He does not want to get professional help. How do I support and help him without enabling him? I try to do what I can to help him destress, but it does not seem to help.

Thank you all so much!
Click to expand...
If I can give you a prayer that will help it is the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy which the Lord Jesus had given to St. Maria Faustina. It is a most powerful witness for the times we are living in as the Lord Jesus had promised immediate graces for anyone praying the Chaplet or when they pray it on behalf of someone. You can find the wording of the Chaplet on the Internet or you can find it in the Diary which the Saint had written on her experiences which had with the Lord Jesus.
 
I would challenge any smug atheist to read Lee Strobel’s “Case for a Creator”. Not many atheists have the courage to read this, but if he can, with an open mind, it will discombobulate all his prior thinking on the matter. 🙂 Good luck! Rob
 
He grew up in a lapsed Catholic household (where people attended Mass on Christmas only, so long as they weren’t too tired or drunk). He and his sister were never baptized. He is quite hostile to Catholicism in particular and gets irritated whenever the subject is brought up (not necessarily just by me).

I don’t think he really cares about whether or not God exists; he believes that even if there were a God, He can’t/won’t intervene in our lives in any meaningful way. I think, like many posters have said, I would do better to just live my faith by example than keep bringing it up verbally. He bristles at the mention of religion, and i don’t want him to associate faith with that level of irritation.

I have to have faith that Our Lord will change his heart, but that it’s entirely possible that, if my husband outlives me, it may not necessarily happen in my lifetime.
 
Stubbertson said:
I have to have faith that Our Lord will change his heart, but that it’s entirely possible that, if my husband outlives me, it may not necessarily happen in my lifetime.
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I think this is a very good point to always keep in mind. Mine is also a non believer and I pray for him a lot. I am also aware that I might not see the miracle of conversion in this life. (I’m hoping for his salvation, of course.) I’m trying to not see this in terms of me ‘winning him over’, but as the best thing for his soul.

It is hard to be married to a non believer and we need to pray a lot for our marriages. I think you are doing great and have the right attitude. Best of luck on this journey. God will lead you always.
 
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