Atheist receiving Communion -- need some advice!

[littlerose1]

Hello,

I’m a young adult living at home with my parents, as is my older brother. We were both raised Catholic, at least to the extent of going to church nearly every Sunday. My brother announced several months ago to our family that he is now an atheist (and quite hard-core, too). My parents still want him to go to Mass with us, which I guess is fine. But he is still expected to receive the Eucharist, and he does.

I talked to him about it right away and he said he feels bad about “disrespecting our traditions,” but doesn’t think it’s worth the hassle to talk to my parents about it. Then I went to my mom and told her I didn’t think he should be receiving since he’s not Catholic anymore and obviously does not believe in the Real Presence. She told me that there’s still grace there whether or not he believes it.

I’ve let it go since then – maybe because my brother has not been attending Mass with us all that regularly due to conflicts – but now I’ve been thinking about it a lot again as he seems to be going with us more.

He shouldn’t be receiving, should he? Or am I wrong? Any advice about what I should do?

Thanks and God bless,
little rose

 

[kmuestwin]

If he can’t honestly say the Creed then he shouldn’t be receiving the Eucharist.

 

[zab]

littlerose1, you have reason to be concerned. It is true that the Eucharist is Jesus whether or not one believes. If your brother has missed Mass through his own fault and has not been to confession, then he should not be receiving Communion. But I’d rather leave this question to one of the priest’s that we have on board. But in the mean time, listen to your parents and keep your brother and other members of your family in your prayers. Every family needs members like you to pray for their conversion and perseverence.

 

[promethius]

She told me that there’s still grace there whether or not he believes it.

She would be right if she were referring to attendence at mass confering grace, but for those who take communion without proper examination of conscience and discernment, there is actually DESTRUCTION of grace… namely, as St Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 11:

27 So then, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. 28 Everyone ought to examine themselves before they eat of the bread and drink from the cup. 29 For those who eat and drink without discerning the body of Christ eat and drink judgment on themselves. 30 That is why many among you are weak and sick, and a number of you have fallen asleep. 31 But if we were more discerning with regard to ourselves, we would not come under such judgment. 32 Nevertheless, when we are judged in this way by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be finally condemned with the world.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

If he’s adult enough to tell his family that he is a “hardcore” atheist then he should be adult enough to be able to say that despite what they think he’s going to refrain from communion out of respect for the people of the Catholic faith and because in taking it he’s pretending to be something he isn’t, and its not fair to ask him to do that.

 

[zab]

If he’s adult enough to tell his family that he is a “hardcore” atheist then he should be adult enough to be able to say that despite what they think he’s going to refrain from communion out of respect for the people of the Catholic faith and because in taking it he’s pretending to be something he isn’t, and its not fair to ask him to do that.

And that is just it. The Church would never ask us or anyone to say, “Amen” to something they do not believe. So this is why non-Catholics are not invited to receive Communion in the Catholic Church. Also Catholics who are not properly prepared by being in a state of mortal sin should not receive Communion.

 

[OraLabora]

First of all he is still Catholic no matter what he calls himself or currently believes. Baptism leaves an indelible mark. I was exactly in his shoes starting in my late teens and for 22 years until reverting.

He is certainly in imperfect communion though. You might want to discuss it (including your parents) with your priest, rather than seek advice from untrained laypeople.

 

[zab]

First of all he is still Catholic no matter what he calls himself or currently believes. Baptism leaves an indelible mark. I was exactly in his shoes starting in my late teens and for 22 years until reverting.

He is certainly in imperfect communion though. You might want to discuss it (including your parents) with your priest, rather than seek advice from untrained laypeople.

Great advice. And thank you for commenting here. It gives me hope in my continual prayers for my children who have strayed.

 

[Julia_Mae]

He shouldn’t be receiving, should he? Or am I wrong? Any advice about what I should do?

Thanks and God bless,
little rose

I was thinking that people often say lots of things adamantly. Kids try out ways of thinking and being on their families. Now, is he really an atheist? I think only God knows that. Should he be receiving? I don’t know, I think only God knows that.

It’s hard to overcome pride and admit you were wrong. Hard to give up friends that think one way when you really don’t agree. I think your parents are very wise. You really don’t know what’s in his heart. IMO, as a parent, best not to push him into taking such a firm stand he can’t back down. Pray for him very much and leave it in God’s hands.

 

[puzzleannie]

He shouldn’t be receiving, should he? Or am I wrong? Any advice about what I should do?

Thanks and God bless,
little rose

no one should be receiving if they are not in the state of grace. What can you do about it? Nothing. You have done your duty, not let it go and take your mother’s advice, to let God’s grace take over. Trouble with her thinking is, however, that there is no grace available from the sacrament for a person in a state of sin. You and I however do not know the state of your brother’s soul, despite outward appearances. Your best witness is to be the best Catholic, the best child and the best sibling you can be and pray for him.

 

[ConstantineTG]

The instructions are in the Bible. Talk to him, if he doesn’t listen, get two or three others. If he doesn’t listen, tell the Church (the priest). If to the Church he doesn’t listen, then treat him like a publican.

 

[OraLabora]

no one should be receiving if they are not in the state of grace. What can you do about it? Nothing. You have done your duty, not let it go and take your mother’s advice, to let God’s grace take over. Trouble with her thinking is, however, that there is no grace available from the sacrament for a person in a state of sin. You and I however do not know the state of your brother’s soul, despite outward appearances. Your best witness is to be the best Catholic, the best child and the best sibling you can be and pray for him.

More likely at his age, he’s in a state of confusion, not mortal sin. Immaturity affects one’s ability to have full knowledge and full consent. Which is why I think the family’s priest, and not folks on this forum, should be the one to consult. Only someone close to the lad can determine the true state of his soul. The rest of us are merely opining and risking causing great anxiety to the family.

Note too, we are obliged to obey our parents if below the age of majority. The mother may very well be onto something. She certainly knows the lad better than anyone here.

 

[domandcarols]

That’s bizarre. He should not be receiving communion. To receive communion he needs to be in a state of grace.

 

[domandcarols]

More likely at his age, he’s in a state of confusion, not mortal sin. Immaturity affects one’s ability to have full knowledge and full consent. Which is why I think the family’s priest, and not folks on this forum, should be the one to consult. Only someone close to the lad can determine the true state of his soul. The rest of us are merely opining and risking causing great anxiety to the family.

Note too, we are obliged to obey our parents if below the age of majority. The mother may very well be onto something. She certainly knows the lad better than anyone here.

If he’s old enough to receive communion he’s old enough to mortally sin.

 

[OraLabora]

If he’s old enough to receive communion he’s old enough to mortally sin.

Nonsense. Maturity has nothing to do with age. My 16 y.o. son is more mature than a 70 y.o. friend I have and is more mature than his 19 y.o. brother.

This issue needs to be dealt with by the family’s parish priest, not anonymously on the Internet.

 

[domandcarols]

Nonsense. Maturity has nothing to do with age. My 16 y.o. son is more mature than a 70 y.o. friend I have and is more mature than his 19 y.o. brother.

This issue needs to be dealt with by the family’s parish priest, not anonymously on the Internet.

He may be immature but it doesn’t mean it’s not a mortal sin. I agree with you about maturity.

 

[OraLabora]

He may be immature but it doesn’t mean it’s not a mortal sin. I agree with you about maturity.

The thing is that for sin to be mortal, there has to be three conditions:

1. Grave matter. No arguments there, receiving unworthily is grave matter;
2. Full knowledge;
3. Full consent.

On this latter point immaturity can have a very big role to play.

A priest, particularly a priest that knows the lad, is best placed to decide if all three conditions are present.

In particular if the boy is going to communion to obey his parents, there may be some confusion over the duty to obey one’s parents and the duty to not partake unworthily of the Eucharist which would certainly play on the ability to fully consent to the sin of partaking unworthily.

I think this should be sorted out by a priest, not here.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Not to sidetrack the OP’s thread…But my husband has been receiving the Eucharist for about 19 years now, and hasn’t been to confession in more years than that…He does speak the Creed when we are in Mass, but I don’t think he believes it. He does it so our sons will think that he’s still Catholic. Is he in mortal sin, or is it less grave because he doesn’t believe it? He thinks he has no need for confession, I’ve asked him several times and he scoffs at me and mocks me for thinking that I sin (I do of course!). He thinks if you are a good person, that’s good enough.

 

[triumphguy]

When I was about 17 I went on a school retreat run by the Jesuits. I went to confession where I told the priest I did not believe in God at all. Later we had mass, and I went to communion to the same priest. I said “Amen” and received the Eucharist, and somehow that Amen was the most heartfelt Amen I’ve ever said.

Kids sometimes say they don’t love their parents, or complain that they’re not understood, but the first person they turn to is one of their parents when things go bad. I think I just needed to question my faith and be treated with respect. The Jesuit priest was far wiser than me and gave me communion anyway, and it was a turning point. I still remember him, and that moment was the time when I first began to have an adult faith.

There’s a lot of people judging this kid’s metal state, maturity, state of grace etc. No-one knows, and maybe even he doesn’t know.

 

[domandcarols]

Not to sidetrack the OP’s thread…But my husband has been receiving the Eucharist for about 19 years now, and hasn’t been to confession in more years than that…He does speak the Creed when we are in Mass, but I don’t think he believes it. He does it so our sons will think that he’s still Catholic. Is he in mortal sin, or is it less grave because he doesn’t believe it? He thinks he has no need for confession, I’ve asked him several times and he scoffs at me and mocks me for thinking that I sin (I do of course!). He thinks if you are a good person, that’s good enough.

To receive Holy Communion you need to be in a state of grace. In addition to that every Catholic must go to confession at least once a year and receive communion once a year. He has to go to confession. I know it’s a hard situation. I’ll pray for you and your family. We have a similar situation in my family with my uncle who is a fallen away Catholic. He comes to mass on rare occasions and receives communion and it’s not like anyone knows for sure and it’s not our place to judge but we know he doesn’t attend regularly or go to confession.

God bless you!! It’s really sweet that he goes to mass and that he cares about your sons thinking he’s still practicing. Maybe in his heart he does believe, you never know. I will pray for him to have a change of heart.