Iām not really an athiest, technically speaking. Iām an agnostic, you could say.
I used to be a thiest (Catholic in particular). I was involved with a somewhat youth group and a bunch of retreats where the point was to get closer to God. I bought it at the time, and believed myself to have a personal relationship with God. Furthermore, I believed what I was told about the Catholic Church - things like the Church has never āofficiallyā taught anything wrong. It has never changed itās āofficialā teaching. The Bible is the true, inspired word of God - stuff like that.
But I grew older I found that many of those claims are simply not true. After 3 years of theology at a conservative Catholic school, I came to the simple and obvious conclusion that the Church has indeed taught things that it went back later and changed; it has grown and evolved and changed just as much as everything else in our world. So has the Bible, which used to advocate⦠horrible, horrible things⦠Anyway, for a while, I had plenty of complex rationalizations for all of those discrepancies.
But after a while, after trying to explain everything to a non-Catholic, I realized how silly they all were. So I started to pick everything apart, throwing out anything with an outlandish or circular explaination. That led me, quite clearly, out of Catholicism.
As far as my āpersonalā relationship with God, it was the last to go. But one simple, clear, and reasonable observation eventually became plain: when we talk about being āpersonalā with God, we use a completely different meaning than any other relationship with any other being, person, animal, or thing. A āpersonalā relationship with God means holding on to coincidences as Godās personal communication (i.e., My dad told me about how his friend had offered to loan him a particular movie - and on a retreat, a speaker mentioned that exact same movie. My dad believes that this is a sign that God wants him to talk to his friend and try to convert him.), reading scripture as Godās message to mankind (leaving out, of course, āuncomfortableā passages), and retreat/sworship/adoration/experiences of prayer where oneās emotions make one feel close to God (which, of course, were the result of an emotional atmosphere and peer pressure). God doesnāt have a personal relationship with human beings any more than the planet Jupiter does. There are just a few of us that invent the relationship.
Anyway, those are my reasons.