Attacked all morning

[cthomp1961]

just got back from mass. wife is going through RCIA seem like the guy leading it could have went about it a little better. my wife had a question and this guys response was rude.he told her he did not know where she came from but Catholics believe so and so.I have been a Roman Catholic since 1961 from birth my wife was raised as a baptist but wants to convert to the catholic faith, plus she is crippled on her left side from a stroke. from what she was telling me this guy was pointing her out. I am very angry about this. This is an example of why I wish they would allow nuns to teach this instead of another parish member who may not have the humility or patience to do it properly. After all she had a question and this guy wanted to make a mockery out of her. I am glad for him I was still in mass…really troubled over this

 

[Avila123]

just got back from mass. wife is going through RCIA seem like the guy leading it could have went about it a little better. my wife had a question and this guys response was rude.he told her he did not know where she came from but Catholics believe so and so.I have been a Roman Catholic since 1961 from birth my wife was raised as a baptist but wants to convert to the catholic faith, plus she is crippled on her left side from a stroke. from what she was telling me this guy was pointing her out. I am very angry about this. This is an example of why I wish they would allow nuns to teach this instead of another parish member who may not have the humility or patience to do it properly. After all she had a question and this guy wanted to make a mockery out of her. I am glad for him I was still in mass…really troubled over this

This is likely to be moved into the right forum (don’t worry a MOD will do it) so that you get more replies.

I would suggest calming down, redrafting your post slightly and emailing it to your parish priest with the request that your wife is allowed to go through the rest of RCIA with someone who is more spiritually mature or receive her guidance from the priest. Plus I would suggest asking if your wife could meet with the priest privately. By privately, I do mean with you sitting outside in the car as it is her journey of faith and your righteous anger may not help.

From my perspective, your requests would not be unreasonable because the person taking RCIA lacks the knowledge and loving kindness needed to be a living example of a Christian (let alone a Catholic) and his attitude will put people off and could result in souls being lost. Teachers, preachers and priests get a harder judgement on the last day because they take on personal responsibility for the souls in their charge (can’t remember where I heard that).

Just my opinion.

 

[tawny]

just got back from mass. wife is going through RCIA seem like the guy leading it could have went about it a little better. my wife had a question and this guys response was rude.he told her he did not know where she came from but Catholics believe so and so.I have been a Roman Catholic since 1961 from birth my wife was raised as a baptist but wants to convert to the catholic faith, plus she is crippled on her left side from a stroke. from what she was telling me this guy was pointing her out. I am very angry about this. This is an example of why I wish they would allow nuns to teach this instead of another parish member who may not have the humility or patience to do it properly. After all she had a question and this guy wanted to make a mockery out of her. I am glad for him I was still in mass…really troubled over this

You need to bring this to the Pastor’s attention immediately.

 

[Miserissima]

“I don’t know why but this is, the way Catholics do it” is the wrong answer.

“I don’t know why but maybe this week we can research together and bring our answers to class next week,” is the correct answer.

Talk to your spouse. If she agrees that you can address this with her instructor, do so…like Colombo, with passive-aggressive humility.

If she declines or the instructor continues to communicate in a sub par fashion, then talk to your Pastor.

 

[Neofight]

I am very angry about this. This is an example of why I wish they would allow nuns to teach this instead of another parish member who may not have the humility or patience to do it properly.

Your anger is understandable…however…“they” do allow nuns to teach RCIA…but don’t paint all RCIA team members with such a broad brush…we attend hours of training at the diocese to become certified catechists, and to keep the certification current. In addition, we work closely with the pastor and director of religious education…those without the traits you mention is a shortcoming of the parish for not properly monitoring a very important ministry…if I may be so bold, I suggest with your background as a lifelong catholic, and with your admirable concern, that you volunteer to become a member of your Parish’s RCIA team…sometimes change is best made from within, and I’m sure your help would be appreciated by others, including team members and catechumens and candidates.

Peace!

 

[david_patrick]

wow…this post got my attention…generally a public speaker is at least a gentleman-even if he tries hard to explain things…unprepared -well things go wrong on the scale of fairness…not so strange though…if one has an innate sense of fairness…hot wired for fairness… sort of like a car wreck…suddenly the hood flies up, it rains, and the brakes go out…haphazard… i can think if one thing-where the reality of the moment got in way of my faith…thinking God might be punishing me…yet, since that made no sense -i suggest ‘haphazard again…’ i had a head on collision on the way to confession -been four years ago…i wondered how my God allowed such evil…and i am a nice guy…defend the weak…go to mass…pray for others…and that haphazard crash occurs…and i draw God into it…in RCIA…there are many persons that speak to groups… in my RCIA (of many many years back)-the good thing as i will be eternally gratefull, as they were soul savers… many, many were of great help…Well there is one in a dozen…in context to questions…and answers…and/or speakers…who get confused , there is impromptu dialogue…and the strange-meets strange/example:generally …the same people try a social experiment, when they are beginners…such as one guy…was behavioristic…i hear him say" I want everyone to stand…" OK buddy (silently i respond), we did…so in behaviorism there is a command-and you see the behavior…a test from start to finish=.experiment done…monkey see monkey do…but i m not pavlov’s dog…
so What are you going to do next? if i could advise not to settle the gentleman’s score…

let’s say after a crash of some sort-trauma is realized…there is a need for healing…i am sure other readers of the OP might offer suggestions…what i would do…would be to talk to teh guy in question before and after your RCIA meeting…i would have eye contact…this looks into his soul; intuition is instant…i might ‘touch’ a raw nerve-by my eye contact-raises an eye brow to some ‘evil’, yet it might be my evil…
or…in the blink of an eye…i should open the book of his life’s autobiography in to a moment…-there might not be evil…some recent impediment to God though…i would have eye contact…means to the end…to know his thoughts…maybe i would see a wound, next detaching, as i began with detachment…detaching, i step back…now i would take that information to prayer…perhaps…there is a lonely moment…in a group…when men fail…well that is a long essay on a lazy sunday eve…while many people are watching football…best regards…P

 

[MS_SURVEYOR]

***Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death
Amen.

***

 

[Cricket2]

just got back from mass. wife is going through RCIA seem like the guy leading it could have went about it a little better. my wife had a question and this guys response was rude.he told her he did not know where she came from but Catholics believe so and so.I have been a Roman Catholic since 1961 from birth my wife was raised as a baptist but wants to convert to the catholic faith, plus she is crippled on her left side from a stroke. from what she was telling me this guy was pointing her out. I am very angry about this. This is an example of why I wish they would allow nuns to teach this instead of another parish member who may not have the humility or patience to do it properly. After all she had a question and this guy wanted to make a mockery out of her. I am glad for him I was still in mass…really troubled over this

I am sorry to hear this. Please report this behavior to the Pastor and insist that he be corrected or removed from teaching. His approach sounds awful. He is there to answer questions and to teach the faith, not undermine it or ridicule people. Sounds like you would do a better job.

And don’t let the Pastor pass on this. Insist that he talk to this man and lay down some expectations of behavior and proper ministry.

 

[Cromwell4]

Find another instructor/class. Guy sounds like a jerk on a power trip.

She may find answers to most of her questions here rather than in a formal class. I think Peter will have a thing or two to say to him when he tries to stomp thru those Pearly Gates.

 

[Vim71]

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

 

[pollylodges]

Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

 

[Canuck000]

I went through RCIA last year. My husband is a cradle Catholic. My husband (yes he was very excited about my decision) never once in many, many years asked me to become a Catholic. Instead, he planted little seeds of interest to me. After much reading a few years ago, and independent study, I informed him I was ready to become Catholic. I had never, in all the years I had known him to be as excited as he was. (and still is).

Now to my point. He went with me to RCIA (first to enquiry classes, then to RCIA classes).
There is a spiritual director, and several RCIA leaders. Most of the leaders are people whom went through the conversion process. Every single one of them were very knowledgeable, and obviously trained very well.

My husband also had much to offer with the class, and everyone absolutely loved him. He claims he learned more in a year of RCIA than he did through out 12 years of Catholic education, but really I think he simply was ready to learn now, and expanded more on what he already knew. Whatever was the case, he was with me 100% all of the time. Yes, he gave up weekly mass to leave with me after the homily and go to the class study. (He hadn’t been able to receive communion anyway, because he was invalidly married to me).
Finally, Easter 2013 arrived, and when we received communion, me for the first time, he was able to receive also, at the same time as me. Words cannot describe our feelings!

It sounds like the op has had a very bad experience, and I’m sorry to hear that. RCIA is an experience to savor! I don’t think she would have been treated like this if the OP had been there. Reporting this behavior could be very uncomfortable for everyone involved.

My advice (for all it’s worth) Go with her to all RCIA classes and activities. You can’t be her sponsor, but you can still be there for support. It’s a wonderful process, that not all Catholics get to experience, and you have a chance now to not only experience this, but experience it as a couple. ENJOY!!

 

[glendab]

Hello Cthomp

just got back from mass. wife is going through RCIA seem like the guy leading it could have went about it a little better. my wife had a question and this guys response was rude.he told her he did not know where she came from but Catholics believe so and so.I have been a Roman Catholic since 1961 from birth my wife was raised as a baptist but wants to convert to the catholic faith, plus she is crippled on her left side from a stroke. from what she was telling me this guy was pointing her out. I am very angry about this. This is an example of why I wish they would allow nuns to teach this instead of another parish member who may not have the humility or patience to do it properly. After all she had a question and this guy wanted to make a mockery out of her. I am glad for him I was still in mass…really troubled over this

First off, congratulations on your wife’s decision to join the fold! You must be very relieved.

Secondly, why not tell your wife to come here for her answers? They do have some pretty good folks answering questions all day and night long here at Catholic Answers. Her question is probably covered somewhere in the archives or in the radio shows. Perhaps she could listen to the archived radio shows. They are a big help to lots of folks.

Thirdly, do not let that guy get you or your wife a second time. I’m a convert and had to go thru RCIA too and I’ll be honest there were trials caused solely by the clash of personalities, but I was determined to get through because no one was going to stop me from seeing Baptism and Eucharist and if I let them get under my skin and quit, I’d have to start all over again another year. Tell your wife I said they aren’t worth it no matter who they are!

I’ll pray for the both of you and please let us know how everything turns out. It’s not long till Easter and her day! May you both know half the joy I had on that day of days! It was the most awesome day of my life.

Glenda

 

[Miserissima]

I am sorry for replying in the Prayer Intentions forum; I am posting from my phone and didn’t realize it.

My prayers are with you and your wife, and with the teacher, too.

 

[esieffe]

just got back from mass. wife is going through RCIA seem like the guy leading it could have went about it a little better. my wife had a question and this guys response was rude.he told her he did not know where she came from but Catholics believe so and so.I have been a Roman Catholic since 1961 from birth my wife was raised as a baptist but wants to convert to the catholic faith, plus she is crippled on her left side from a stroke. from what she was telling me this guy was pointing her out. I am very angry about this. This is an example of why I wish they would allow nuns to teach this instead of another parish member who may not have the humility or patience to do it properly. After all she had a question and this guy wanted to make a mockery out of her. I am glad for him I was still in mass…really troubled over this

Contact the Parish Priest, and if for some reason the behavior continues, I would contact the Archdiocese. I would explain [yes after you calm down for a day or two] that this type of behavior is unacceptable. If your wife has been treated this way, so have others I would guess. I am a self appointed defend the weak kind of person, so my advice might be a bit strong. Others are free to opine if they wish, but this type of thing always gets my dander up.