Attacked constantly

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hdog

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i am attacked constantly, i have sleep deprivation, paranoia and schizophrenia but i don’t think any of that stuff has to do with this

God has done wonderful wonderful things for me, so many things more than most people and i’ve had 2 masses for me and a bunch of people praying for me

I’ve had some weird things happen to me, i hear voices constantly telling me i worshiped the devil they happen all day long, they constantly are accusing me of every sin i make, i can’t sleep at night because i am afraid i will die and go to hell in the middle of the night and while i’m in bed i’m filled with terror i feel i am a tormented being of fear
when i do big sins i feel something slap me in the face two days ago it pushed me
i have had extremely realistic dreams of falling down a tunnell into hell

my main problem is that i’ve been angry at God, i have no excuse, I have sinned but I can’t seem to repent I can’t get feeling of pride and anger out of my heart

i made a list of some 200 rules i have to follow every day and if i don’t get them right horrible things happen to me!
i am obbsessed with being a bad person
 
Have you sought out medical help for OCD? A few of these things, especially the list, sound indicative of that, so that might be something to look into. I’m not trying to minimize your problems, and I don’t really have much advice to give beyond this, but it sounds like you might want to look into it.

If it’s not that, I’m sure others here will be able to offer you some advice. God Bless.
 
You might also want to see your doctor because if you are on medication, you might need an adjustment in your medication.
 
Find a holy and learned traditional priest to be you spiritual director, and tell your doctor that your medicine is not helping you enough. Read pious books, pray ceaselessly, practice penance and custody of the senses, recommend yourself to the Blessed Virgin Mary and pray your rosary daily and fervently, consecrate yourself to Mary, meditate of our Lord’s Passion and console Him, and have a special devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. God bless you.
 
PRAISE BE TO GOD!! TONIGHT I HAD A VERY VIVID IMAGINATION - but not a vision but it was just as wonderful that i was soaring up to heaven in a plane ad then i imagined robins chirping in a beautiful field and our passed on dog and cat near a waterfall it might have been just my imagination but it was so wonderful

then after ward i felt someone KISS me on the cheek and then i had a stupid OCD blasphemous thought pop up in my head and i said “forgive me” and i got kissed on the cheek again!!
 
Christ’s greatest attribute is His mercy. Do not allow any of these “rules” you’ve made up for yourself or any other compulsions to instill guilt in you. Constantly fight against these compulsions, force them out of your mind every single time. By all means, do not allow them to control you. I wish you the best!
 
hdog, before you chalk things up to the supernatural, make sure that you can rule out the natural causes for things. If you are schizophrenic with OCD, and are not on medication, see a doctor. If you are on medications, then they may need to be adjusted. I am bipolar, and before I was correctly diagnosed, I thought all manner of supernatural things were happening to me, especially in my manic phases. “Evil spirits” bothered me in certain places. I thought I had the power to fly. One time I heard birds singing Mozart just for me. And sleep deprivation? Been there too. When you lack sleep, your brain goes into overdrive and concocts all sorts of things. I saw “the devil”. He even spoke to me. So what I’m saying is do not neglect your physical health which could be at the root of your problems.
 
Like others said, you should see a doctor in the first step.
I will pray for you.

God bless you!
 
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