Attacked in my dreams?

[Ravyn_Guiliani]

honey–you definitely have a sleep disorder! if you get 14 hours of sleep you are getting too much–that is IF it was the proper kind. Obviously your body is trying to get enough of the right kind by over-doing it and it isn’t working. your depression could be the symptom of this sleep disorder rather than the sleep disorder being a symptom of depression! My husband was diagnosed with Sleep Apnea and after he got a c-pap machine—it pulses normal filtered air into his nasal passages all night long to keep them open–he lost 50 pounds and was able to stop all his meds–including effexor and provigil! Sleep Deprivation can be responsible for everything you have chronicled as wrong with you!
are you in the US? can you get on Medicaid? You need a Sleep Study done and you need to get on the right therapy so you can have a life! My husband is not even the same person–so much improvement—even in attitude and personality. No more anxiety or rage or depression.
I will pray for you.
Ravyn

 

[Hipster_Doofus]

Interesting.

I’ve heard other theories too–that it might be my thyroid. But my main doctor assumes that after I’ve been on thyroid meds for x-amount of time then that must be stabilized. But a friend with thyroid problems thinks that may be the key to my depression. I used to bicycle about two hours a day and walk everywhere and still was big as a house.

When I took my first depression meds–I forget what they were— my initial reaction was,“Oh, so this is what life is actually supposed to feel like!” But the side effect of that med was it made me unbelievably sleepy, to the extent I’d doze off any time I sat down. Plus I was apparently raging at my co-workers and wasn’t even aware of it. I tried to reduce the dosage and that didn’t help, so I moved on to different meds. Wellbutrin was the worst–hot flashes, the shakes, etc. At several points the docs had me so over-medicated I was falling asleep in their waiting rooms, and when they’d ask me a question about my condition I’d forget what I was going to say halfway through my long, drawling sentence.

For years my family has belittled and criticized me for my sleeping, calling me lazy, regarding my sleeping as a vice.

If I don’t have anything else better to do I’ll just sleep and sleep until my back hurts too much to lay down anymore, or I have to get up and go to the bathroom–whichever comes first.

I like sleep so much because it’s so much like death–and depressives convince themselves they crave death, I often pray to God right before I drift off that He’ll take me in the night. And I suspect one reason I’m not more interested in right to life causes than I am is because I really don’t find life to be all that great. I can think of a heck of a lot worse than never having been born.

I knew a guy with sleep apnea–morbidly obese, ate enormous meals about every 90 minutes, would doze off just about any time he sat down, then would make choking, suffocating noises in his sleep. I’m not like that yet, but I do feel a choking sensation sometimes if I try to sleep on my back.

And I was diagnosed with chronic sinusitis a few years ago.

If I had a way to get some medical and psychological care I would definitely look into all this. And yes, I’m in the US.

 

[JoyToBeCatholic]

I read this thread earlier, and just read the last few posts (so I didn’t read every post), but it looks like you have a sleep disorder. My sister has depression and the drugs have always caused her disruptive sleep patterns. She “sleeps” for long periods but never feels rested. Also, sleep apnea runs in our family. Allergies are a major factor in it. I have asthma and post nasal drip that cause me to awake gasping and choking (and I’m not the least bit over weight, but rather under). My father has severe acid reflux and never knew it except that he has sleep apnea and terrible snoring (that even wakes HIM up!) and caused something to enlarge in his throat and make the situation even worse.

My sister went to a sleep clinic. It didn’t answer all her questions, but it helped. My father now takes an antacid which has helped him tremendously, and I take OPC and antihisitimines for my own problem with post nasal drip and asthma.

All I’m saying is that there are many things that can cause sleep disorders and sleep apnea, and the remedies aren’t always too hard to find. Try an antacide for a while. Try an antihisitimine for a while. And if either of those fail, try a sleep clinic if possible, or even simply ask someone you know to monitor you while you sleep (since it’s that easy for you) and see if you are actually sleeping when you think you are.

Just my 2cents which is worth just about… 2cents!

 

[Traditional_Ang]

Hipster Doofus:

I’m sorry for the loss of your loved one and that your relationship with your mother is so rotten. It doesn’t make things any easier when your mother has no compassion on the son who came from her own body.

Please remember the last part of that quote, that even should that happen, God would never forget you, because he has engraved your name on the palms of his hands (Isa. 49:15-16). and, Remember the courage you have already shown by sticking it out so far and by sharing it all with us.

Before I say anything, this is NOT meant to substitute for the advice of either your physician or your Spiritual Advisor, but hopefully to suppliment whatever they’re telling you.

The raging at your co-workers right after you started taking the first anti-depressant was to be expected, and was a sign that it was working. I’m sorry that your doctor didn’t tell you and didn’t arranged for counselling to help you deal with the anger that was sure to surface… Place talk to him & have him try that one again, but make sure he arranges for counselling to deal with the displaced anger that will surface as soon as you start taking the med.

Prayer isn’t always going to make you feel good, or even feel better, esp. if you feel as badly and depressed as you do. However, prayer can help with some of your problems…

I’ve found that using what the Desert Fathers called the “Prayer of the Publican” (aka, “The Jesus Prayer”) in front of the Blessed Sacrament can be relaxing (& can help for an afternoon nap):

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, (Breathe in)
Have mercy on me, a sinner. (Breathe out)
or,
Immaculate heart of Mary, (Breathe in)
I put my whole trust in you. (Breathe out)
At least 30 times.
And, when it’s time to go to bed…
The Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel
then,
Guide us waking, O Lord,
And Guard us Sleeping;
So that awake, we may watch with Christ,
And, asleep, we may rest in preace…
and, To help you get to sleep, try saying the Rosary SLOWLY right after lieing down to sleep. It’s something that I’ve found that I’ve found helps me to get to sleep and to have better less disturbing dreams.

Another thing I think you might look at is trying to see what activities the Cathedral that holds the TLM’s you attend has - Bible Studies, Schola/Choir, Acolyte/Alter Servers, Youth Groups, Rosary Prayer Groups, Chances to Teach RCIA, Knights of Columbus, etc. This is important enough that I would see what your local parish is offering if the Cathedral couldn’t satisfy the need for activities where you could meet and get to know faithful Catholics.

In spite of of the good we do here sometimes, what we do here isn’t all that social and is really pretty anonymous, and can’t be a substitute for “assembling with the brethren”.

I hope this helps.

Your Brother in Christ, Michael

 

[Traditional_Ang]

Hipster:

Some more thoughts - In reply to your #39:

I’ve been in that situation before - for a good part of the early to mid 1980’s - I had been in a Christian Commune in Oregon which I had left after either giving them or paying to my credit union just about everything I owned. In other words, I was dead broke when I returned home from nearly a year in a cult. My Father had married my stepmother (my mother had died in 1979) who had run up a couple of $400-500 phone bills and then blamed them on my brother Chris.

So, I had an absolutely impossible situation, which I made worse by admitting to prospective employers that I had just returned from this cult. I don’t know how many times I asked, “What’s wrong with me?” as I walked from rejection to rejection, or listened as the people who were supposed to take messages for me either didn’t get the name of the company, or the name of the caller or the phone number to call back, or had to chose between eating a proper lunch and not making phone calls from a pay phone or eating trial mix and fruit and making the phone calls I needed to make.

At one point, I volunteered at the local Catholic Worker so I could both eat and have some friends.

As bad as I felt, and man did I ever feel bad, the bad feelings didn’t kill me, even after my father died in June, 1985. And, I can tell you that, no matter how bad you feel, you’re still responsible for how you eat and what you eat, even if all you have is 30 minutes, even if you have to “brown-bag it” or bring some trial mix and fruit to eat at your desk (so you don’t have to hurry up and down stairs and wolf down “junk food”) and buy some milk, fruit, o.j. and cereal to eat for breakfast before leaving for work.

And, This you have to know - NO work, no matter how horrible it may seem is lousy or should be hated for itself. We can make jobs horrible by “stressing out”, but jobs are rarely horrible in and off themselves - They’re just a means to an end (paying rent, buying food, etc.)

If the Diocese has given you the names of priests who are either being transferred out of town or simply aren’t available because of your mode of transport, then you need to call them again and let them know where you live and that you need an S.D./Confessor who is accessible by either foot or bus.

I think you also need to get a therapist (and possibly a Licensed Clinical Social Worker) so you can talk about these issues and see if you can make some progress in conjuction with whatever else you’re doing.

Please remember that God loves you, and that you can get through almost anything one day at a time.

Your Brother in Christ, Michael