Attempting To Find God After Suicide Attempt

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margaret94

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I am 25 and want to desperately get back to Catholicism and God, but can’t seem to find the drive. A few years back I had struggled with depression and anxiety and had overdosed. At the time I was struggling with so many things and often turned to God asking why, or how could he let me suffer like this. I tried so hard to maintain my religion but there were many times I would just start crying in church and then slowly I stopped going. I feel that there is a connection between my mental health and when I started to give up my religion. This Lent I really want to try and get back into it and would love advice on what has helped you or how I can stay accountable. I am working on getting out of a very dark chapter in my life and am uncertain how to do so. I would love any comments.
 
You might want to seek guidance from a priest. Go to Mass. Confess so that you can receive Holy Communion. This time of year there’s activities like Stations of the Cross. Go to that and Eucharist Adoration. Pray. Read the Bible and other Catholic material. This worked for me last Lent when I came back to the Church. Good luck to you.
 
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Who do you have that you would like to emulate? Who is one person, alive or dead, who really “gets it”? Who’s in a physical and spiritual place where you would like to be someday? Find a role model who got it right-- and find out more about them, what they went through, and how they overcame what they had to overcome on their path towards God.

Don’t try to do an entire lifetime’s worth of reform in a short span. Some people can do it-- but others will burn out quickly. Mass is important. The Sacraments are important. Those always stay, and never go away. Definitely get those back into your life. But then pick one thing to focus on for March-- and pay attention to cultivating it in your life. It might be a Morning Offering, or it might be spending a few minutes in Adoration, or it might be saying a decade of the rosary as you walk from your car to your job. Just pick one thing. Then the next month, you can keep the old thing, and add something new to it-- like you can do something for others. Like volunteer work, with people who are in a dark/sad/lonely/vulnerable place, and need someone who understands where they’re coming from. Then the next month, you can keep what you want to keep, or replace something that doesn’t quite give you what you’re looking for, or expand something you’ve begun cautiously. But make it part of your routine.

But Mass and the Sacraments are always your base. Even when you’re too low on resources (time? money? mobility? health?) to fit other stuff in, those never get preempted.
 
You should speak with a priest about you wanting to get back to Church and your struggles.

It´s sad to hear of your struggles, but it´s very great that you want to get back to Church!
Welcome back! God bless you!
 
Get an actual physical with blood work. This sounds like Major Depression, but only a healthcare specialist can help. You could also start going to a Christian psychologist. Hopefully, a good Catholic one will be available.

Get your hearing tested. Super hearing can often lead to depression.

Receive the Sacrament of the Sick, in conjunction with Confession.

Are you sleeping at night? Or sleeping too much? Is the depression reactionary? Did something happen that threw you for a loop?

Have you tried B-Complex or St John’s Wort?

May St. Dymphna assist you!

Blessings,
Mrs Cloisters OP
Lay Dominican
http://cloisters.tripod.com/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/charity/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/holyangels/id9.html/
 
I am 50 years a Catholic, and have only one advice for you that is to pray to your Mother Mary
and specifically under the title Mother of Sorrows. Pour your heart out to your Mother, ask her for Help, and pray the Rosary. You will see a change, it may be great or it may be small and slow, it will depend on your own circumstances, but prayer is what opens the doors to Grace.
Mary is the Vessel in which God has chosen to lead souls to Jesus, it is in her the Matrix of all graces that God has chosen to bless his children and hers.
Trust God ask Mary for help and she will NOT fail you.
and give glory to God when your healed.

 
God is always ready to help us. He did no leave you, believe me.
Try seeking for a catholic health and spiritual help. Pray for the Virgin Mary too, it will help you.
I also had some moments of despair in my life, but you should never let this into your mind or hearth, because despair is ALWAYS, ALWAYS a temptation from the Devil. This is the teaching of every single saint. Do not hear this demonic voice.
 
I love your idea of taking it one step at a time. I feel like the pressure my family has on my to return sometimes makes it feel like I have to do it all at once. I want to come back for myself of course, it can just seem like an impossible task at times with my history and how I feel. I love your comments though thank you!
 
I was already diagnosed and treated and am SO much better now (as this all occurred a few years back), however, spiritually I am so behind from where I once was and I feel like that moment in my life is a lot of what holds me in place in many aspects of my life.
 
Your unfortunate situation is shared by many of us. I cannot believe any creator in any sence would punish and make his children suffer. I have had 3 suicide attemps, self medicating for decades. it was only when I realized how many families including mine, are torn apart because being gay is a sin… example my brother came to our father with his impure thoughts. That 14 year old scared little child was shipped halfway across this country to a conversion therapy and lost his mind. Faith is a freedom we can all enjoy, sometimes the whole flock gets led astry. Just Know you are not alone, despite what you feel God is with you… talk to him and maybe you will find peace. Personaly I went to a non denominational Christrin church… they embrased even my darkness i kept secret. God wanted you and I and all those with mental handicaps to feel the extream highs and lows. But have Faith that you are worth all the love the universe has waiting for you. good luck
 
St Padre Pio said not to dwell on past sins because it robs time from the Lover Himself.

We are not good judges of where we stand spiritually. Just strive for humility in all things. I would suggest the Spirit of St. Francis de Sales be read during Lent. The saint is just incredible. That’s what our lay associates & pre-postulants are reading for the first year.
 
A lot of people here haven’t experienced severe depression like you, but I have. I am also just coming out of a very dark place in my life as well. I had been super faithful and devoted to prayer but then after a traumatic incident, I started losing my hope/faith that life will get better. I was really depressed and felt like my life had no purpose. I didn’t want to live. During that time, I stopped praying. I went a good 2-3 years without having a regular prayer life. I didn’t feel like going to mass, but my husband helped get me out the door every Sunday. Then recently, I started praying again. I think for me, I just wanted to have the prayer life I used to have so badly that it motivated me to start again. It’s not been easy to keep up, I’ll admit. I also don’t feel the drive. It’s the depression talking. But, I have improved a lot. Life gets better. We just have to be patient and ride out the storm. On my worst days, I think of life as simply “time travel”. I know that someday things will be better, so I have to wait (i.e. travel through time) until they are.

I’m not sure if this is helpful, but keep doing your best, whatever that is, and God will do the rest. Don’t pressure yourself, and always be kind to yourself. You can do this. I believe in you and I am glad God saved you. You are in my prayers! 🙏
 
Did you ever find it difficult going to a non-denominational church for support? In the past I have felt comfort in going to non-denominational church’s but I have a lot of backlash from family who is more traditional Catholic’s
 
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